Almost There and Back Again

by Nancy

Chapter 27

He rubbed the green chalk square over the end of his cue for probably the tenth time since they started the game. He hadn’t even taken ten shots. And the ones he had sucked. The chalk wasn’t helping. He blew off the excess and prowled the table searching for just the right angle. His brother leaned against the vacant table behind them, pool cue twirling aimlessly in his hands, waiting patiently for him to screw up yet another shot so he could get on with the ass kicking. He didn’t disappoint. He chuckled at the growled curses.

“Have a seat and let me show you how it’s done.”

“Eat shit,” Nathan grumbled grabbing up his mug of beer and chugging down several swallows as he took over the leaning.

He glanced around the bar, the honky-tonk, the...shit hole Lucas had dragged him to. He’d never really thought of Arizona as an especially redneck sort of place, but apparently the ones they did have had found a haven in this joint. He hadn’t seen this many beer guts straining against pearl button shirts tucked into starched Wranglers in one place in years. And Lord, how did those women get their hair teased that high? Not to mention, somebody needed to tell more than a few of them that Rockies weren’t meant for the over fifty plump female. Whoa…some of them were just frightening he grimaced as he tried to focus back on Lucas and the table run he was about to finish.

“Rack ‘em up little brother,” Lucas smiled snatching the five dollar bill from Nathan’s fingers. “You want to just give me that twenty now? At five bucks a game it’ll be mine before long anyway.”

Nathan’s only comment was the middle finger he flipped Lucas’ way as he continued gathering balls into the triangle.

“How’d you find this hell hole anyway?” Nathan asked before breaking open the next game.

“They have live music on the weekends. One of the trainer’s brothers-in-law plays in a country band and he asked me to go with him one time. They actually weren’t too bad.” Nathan scoffed in disbelief. Lucas and country music…yeah, whatever. “They weren’t,” Lucas laughed at Nathan’s obvious doubt. “Anyway, we’ve been back a couple of times to just play pool. It’s not that bad. People leave you alone. I promise nobody in here has a clue who we are, and if they do, they aren’t impressed. No groupies either. Yeah it’s a little on the redneck side, but you can relax in here without worrying about drawing a crowd or some girl trying to get all up in your face.”

“Good, ‘cause I don’t think there’s a girl in here I’d want near my face,” Nathan grunted. Nathan rolled his eyes at Lucas’ scoff. “Shit,” he grit when the white ball when rolling in right behind the solid red one.

“Wow, you really suck at this. You used to be pretty decent. Maybe you should spend more time playing pool in those bars you can’t stay out of, and a little less time figuring out which whore you’re going to drag out of it.”

“And here we go,” Nathan grumbled under his breath. He refilled his glass from the fresh pitcher the waitress just left. He drained the glass and poured another before he looked up to see Lucas watching him with obvious irritation. “Just trying to numb my brain against the lecture I feel coming on.”

“You might want to slow down there Nate. ‘Cause if you pass out, I’m leaving your ass lying right where it lands.”

Maybe Lucas should have considered screwing up on purpose. By the time he did, the waitress was already bringing over another pitcher. Nathan had almost finished off the other one all on his own. Lucas shook his head at the big smile and stupid wink Nathan had just given the waitress as he paid for the next round. He saw her roll her eyes as she walked away. Lucas chuckled. Wow, he really impressed her.

“You’re up.” Lucas sipped at his glass while he watched Nathan analyze another shot. He actually seemed to get better the more he drank. “Have you decided?”

Nathan knocked another ball in the hole. “Decided what?”

“You’re an ass. You know what, but I’ll just put in under the broad umbrella of…your future.”

Nathan scratched again. “Son of a…damn! I do suck. Crap! Go!”

Lucas chalked his cue, lightly blowing on it while he sized up his options. “I’m waiting.”

“No and hell no.”

Lucas dug the heel of the cue into the ground taking in his brother finishing off yet another glass. “You might want to add a stroll through alcohol rehab to the list.”

“Fuck off,” Nathan snapped. His life was steadily coming unglued; he needed something to get him through.

“How many days in a row have you gone without a drink Nathan?”

“Are you kidding me? You’re going to lecture me about drinking? I’m not a fucking alcoholic Lucas. Shit man, what the hell? It’s not like I get sloshed every day. It takes the edge off that’s it.” Nathan roamed around the table with ever increasing agitation. It was taking everything in him not to break the cue over Lucas’ head. The last thing he needed right now was Lucas harping on his drinking.

“You drink on game days?”

Nathan slammed his cue into the middle of the table. He gripped the edge of the table with his hands trying to keep them from wrapping around his brother’s neck. He closed his eyes drawing long hard breaths trying to gather back some control of his temper. Hauling off and cold cocking Lucas would surely draw a crowd, and probably instigate a complete brawl in a place like this. Even half drunk he knew better than to get that started.

“You really want to start this Lucas?”

“Yeah I do,” Lucas replied completely unfazed by Nathan and his infamous temper. He propped himself against the table, holding the cue at his side while he waited for Nathan.

“You know I hate you right now?”

Lucas shrugged. “And I care…why?”

“Look…I’m not an alcoholic okay. I don’t drink before games. I don’t even drink after games if we have another one the next day. So maybe I do have more than I need some days. Like I said, it takes the edge off.”

“Off what?” Lucas watched his every frustrated motion. He’d wanted to broach the subject for months, and now that he had, he wasn’t going to give up.

“Life?” Nathan huffed as his arms flailed agitated at his sides.

“It’s almost three years Nathan.”

Nathan’s hands were grasping Lucas’ shirt and he was landing against the wall before he knew what was happening. “Not here!” Lucas mumbled quickly under his breath as he tried to push Nathan’s hands from his shirt. Nathan gave him another hard shove and a fierce glare before releasing him. He ran shaky hands through his hair trying to calm himself. The glass trembled against his lips as he gulped the cool liquid. He quickly looked away from the eyes peering their direction from around the darkened bar.

“Nathan…” Lucas resumed his seat at the edge of the table tugging his shirt back in place.

“Why is everything about her Lucas? Not everything’s about her. I drink too much sometimes. I know that. Lots of people do. It doesn’t make me an alcoholic. It doesn’t mean I have a problem with it. And it doesn’t have anything to do with her!”

“You sure about that? Regret…it’s a bitter pill isn’t it Nate? If you’d only done this, or not done that...oh how things would be different right? A drink here, a few more there, and things get numbed for a while, till you can’t function without being numb…”

“Lucas…stop,” he breathed with a ragged sigh. “You’re over the top here man. It’s not like that. Yeah, I’d do some things a little differently if I could, but I can’t,” he shrugged. “No sense in dwelling on it right.”

“You’re right, it’s not…but you are. If you’d just been honest with her the last time...told her you loved her too…it would be different wouldn’t it. Way different. You wouldn’t be backed into the corner you’re in now. You can’t tell me you don’t regret that Nathan. The drinks won’t change anything…but you can. You need to get a hold on it Nathan, and I’m going to keep riding your ass till you do. You’re miserable. The drinking’s not making it better Nate; it’s not making you less miserable it’s only making it worse. Look…I know it may seem like it…but it’s never too late for the kind of love you two had Nathan.”

He shook his head blowing out one long breath trying to keep his temper in tact. He royally screwed up. He didn’t need to hear this. He couldn’t listen to this, believe it, let Lucas fill his head with false hopes.

“You know she’s about to graduate?”

“Uhh….yeah, no shit. Yippee…what the fuck do I care?” He growled, firmly slamming that wall back in place.

“You think she’s going to work for Dan?”

Nathan blew a harsh sigh. “Once again…what the fuck do I care?”

“How are negotiations going with the Celtics?”

“Jesus Christ Lucas…you’re all over the place here! Damn, follow a map or something. They’re…going. I don’t know. They suck actually. I can get more money other places. I hate their GM, he’s a prick and a half, and I’m not exactly his favorite either. Trent has others with a lot better offers. I don’t know.” He rubbed tiredly across his forehead. He could feel the headache starting already.

“You do know where the gossip has you going?”

Nathan rolled his eyes with another long head shake. “Next time we play here, I go back with the team.”

“Well?”

Nathan shrugged. “Maybe. I don’t know yet. There’s a lot more issues with that deal than basketball.”

“Is she going to go with you if you leave Boston?”

“What?” Nathan puffed loud.

“Is she going to go with you? Pretty simple question.”

“Nothing’s simple,” he muttered. Several long sighs later he was still kneading his scalp. “Damn my head hurts.”

“You need to see somebody about that too,” Lucas instructed with growing impatience.

Nathan laughed. “Don’t drink Nathan, take a few pills instead. Pick a vice for me Lucas.”

“I’m just saying every time you get stressed your head starts to pound. Maybe it’s migraines.”

“It’s not a migraine headache it’s just a damn headache. A few Advil and I’m good. Or another beer,” he sniffed before tipping back his glass.

Lucas shook his head. The guy was a train wreck waiting to happen…waiting, hell he was a train wreck in progress.

“What are you going to do about her?”

“What am I going to do? I’m seriously considering hiring a hit man,” he chuckled. “I don’t know Lucas,” he sighed wearily. “Honestly, I don’t know have a clue.”

“You gonna marry her?”

“MARRY! Are you fucking kidding me? Son of a bitch! I wouldn’t marry that bitch for ANY reason! I’d put a bullet in my head before I’d marry her. Lord man get a grip. Damn! God, just the thought makes me nauseous,” he groaned.

“Alright alright, I just thought I’d ask, considering the circumstances.”

“No. No circumstances would make me do that. It was a mistake. It is a mistake. A big fat huge fucking mistake. I’m not going to compound it by legally binding myself to the bitch. No no no! NO! I’ll pay her or do whatever. She can live at one end of town and I’ll live at the other, but not together. Not anymore. I don’t know how the hell I ended up with her in my house anyway. She’s a pain in the ass!”

“She’s hot, but she does seem a little…bitchy,” Lucas chuckled.

“A little?” Nathan scoffed. “It doesn’t take long before the hotness gets clouded over by the bitchiness. Unfortunately I didn’t kick her ass to the curb soon enough.”

“When do you talk with Charlotte again?”

Nathan cut his eyes at Lucas with a snort. Hollywood had nothing on the NBA’s gossip mill. “Jill has a big mouth. Nothing like sleeping with Trent’s assistant to get all the insider news huh?” Lucas shrugged with a small smirk. “Soon. A couple of weeks I think. I want to get signed with somebody by July. Even it’s with the Celtics, I have to get it over with.”

He glanced apprehensively toward Lucas.

“It’s going to kill her, you know that right?”

Nathan held his eyes before looking away with a regretful sigh. “Yeah.”

It was the third apartment they’d been through. It wasn’t right either. It needed some paint and the carpet looked…icky. Haley shook her head with a mumbled thanks. Peyton gave the woman a pained smile as Haley dragged her toward the door.

“Let’s go to those new ones on Inwood.” She scratched through the last loser.

“They’re kind of high aren’t they?” Peyton pulled into traffic. She flipped off the driver behind her when they honked. “Bite me asshole.”

“If you’re going to flip people off Peyton, can you just kind of fly it in front of your stomach or something? I don’t have a death wish today.”

“I said they’re kind of high aren’t they?” Peyton repeated a little louder.

“Not deaf here. Yeah…they’re a little more than I wanted to spend, but they’re new and after living in a crapped out dorm the last three years I’m ready for something clean and new and fresh and sanitary. I’ll just eat more mac and cheese for a while.”

“You can rent the back bedroom at Jake and mine’s place.” Peyton laughed at Haley’s appalled face.

“Hmmm…no. You guys just keep your nice little house all to yourselves. Besides, I don’t want to listen to you two going at it in the middle of the night thank you very much. Gross,” she grumbled under her breath. “Although…now that you finally have the engagement ring I guess that’ll start slowing down huh?” she laughed.

Peyton laughed in return, “Not a chance.”

They walked out of the apartment office with Haley clutching her shiny gold key to a brand new apartment. She was all smiles as she tucked her signed contract into her purse.

“Why didn’t you sign the year lease? The rent was a little less than with the six month lease you know.”

Haley glanced Peyton’s way before staring back out the car window. She chewed gently at her lip. She fixed the hair behind her ear. “I umm…I actually would rather have just gone month to month, but that wasn’t an option so…”

“Why would you want to do that?” Haley shrugged. She’d think she was crazy. Peyton pulled into the restaurant parking lot where they were meeting Jake for dinner. Haley let it drop.

“Hey! I didn’t know you guys were going to make it down here tonight?” Haley beamed pulling Brooke and Greg into bear hugs.

“My mother’s already starting with the baby crap. I couldn’t take it any longer,” Greg grumbled. “We’ve barely been married a year. Just ‘cause they started spitting out kids from the word go doesn’t mean we’re going to. Jeesh. She makes me crazy. We cut the visit short and came on to Charlotte.”

“She wasn’t that bad,” Brooke said in defense. “She just…okay so the suggestions for names may have been a bit much, but she meant well…I guess. And just for the record…I’m not naming my kid Arnold. I don’t care if it was her daddy’s name and her daddy’s daddy’s name and ten daddies’s before that’s name. No way.”

“Thank God you weren’t the oldest boy huh Greg?” Haley laughed. Greg’s older brother caught hell his entire childhood because of his name. By the time he got to high school, he started going by his middle name, but really, he was so much bigger than the other kids no one would have had the nerve to say anything any longer anyway.

“Did you find a place?” Brooke was ready for a subject change.

“I did. It’s a brand new complex. It smells good and looks good, and I’m so excited. My own place. First time in three years I don’t have to share a bathroom with a hall full of people. Hallelujah!”

“That’s great Hales. You deserve something nice,” Jake smiled reaching across the table to squeeze her hand in his. “So Dan pays good huh?”

“Not bad,” Haley smiled with a slight blush. She knew new attorneys didn’t make what people thought they did, but she also was pretty certain she was making more than Jake, maybe as much as Jake and Peyton combined. She wasn’t about to get into specifics. Dan had been generous that was for sure.

Haley grew more quiet as the dinner went on. They hadn’t been all been together since the wedding, and even then things were so hectic and nerve racking they hadn’t spent much leisure time together just catching up. She was thrilled when Brooke and Greg said they were coming to her law school graduation. Having everyone there made the day almost complete.

“Hales…you alright?” Jake asked when he finally noticed Haley doing a lot more listening than talking.

“Yeah,” she smiled. “I was just thinking how great it is being together again. I’m really thankful you guys came to graduation. It meant a lot having you there.”

“You know we wouldn’t have missed it for anything baby doll,” Greg grinned hugging her shoulders.

“So um…I’ve been thinking about something lately. I’ve…I’ve been thinking about it a lot actually. I want to run it by you guys, see what you think okay?” She had their full attention; there were head nods all around.

“I’ve been thinking about applying to some firms in the northeast…Boston in particular.” She chewed at her lip as she quickly swept her eyes around the table at the others, whose eyes were busy exchanging guarded looks.

“But you just took a job here Haley,” Peyton replied apprehensively. This just wasn’t happening. Not now.

“I know I know…it’s just…I’m done with school now, and I can go where I want. And I’m pretty sure…no, I know, I want to go to Boston.”

“Because…,” Jake pushed.

“You know why. Because Nathan’s there, and I want to be where he is. I think I can convince him to give us another chance. I mean…I know the wedding reception ended in a complete disaster, but he did want me to come to Boston...”

“That was a year ago Haley,” Greg gently pointed out trying not to sound as discouraging as he felt.

“What about Ryan? He seems nice…don’t you think?” Brooke said hoping she didn’t sound panicked. “He’s really good looking, and smart, and…”

“Not Nathan,” Haley flatly replied. “He is nice, but it’s not like I’m in love with him. We went out a few times. We weren’t really…dating…like dating.”

“He seemed pretty into you at graduation,” Peyton jumped in.

Haley sighed frustrated. She wanted to talk about Boston, and Nathan, and those plans, not some insignificant nobody.

“Okay…let’s get this Ryan thing out on the table and over with,” Haley huffed in irritation. “First of all, he’s going to a firm in Philadelphia, which definitely makes him geographically undesirable. We went out some. It’s just…he’s nice. He’s okay, he’s fine, but he’s not for me. He’s too…dull or…I don’t know he’s not Nathan. Nobody is. I can’t help it. Every guy I go out with I compare to Nathan. They never measure up. I know he said some really mean things last time, but it was the first time we’d seen each other since the breakup and he was still hurt. I can understand that. I kind of wish he’d figured out a little more constructive way to express it, but I mean, can you blame him? I just want to try again with him. Or…or I need him to tell me…it’s hopeless…once and for all.”

They didn’t know what to say. They looked nervously from one to the other. None of them wanted to be the one. Nathan was a damn disaster. He wasn’t the same person. She shouldn’t have to save him from himself, and that’s what would happen. That wasn’t fair to her. She’d just internalize everything. He was a mess, and she’d blame herself. It wasn’t right. And then there was…she wouldn’t be able to handle it. They knew now, with utmost certainty, she wouldn’t be able to handle it. When she found out - and she would - it was going to smash her into a million little pieces.

“You don’t think it’s a good idea,” she sighed as she searched for some encouragement from one of them.

“Look…it’s not necessarily that Hales.” Greg was the first one with nerve enough to speak up. If anyone knew about Nathan it was him and Brooke. She really needed to just forget about it. “It’s just…you know what…maybe you should try a phone call first. Don’t just up and move to Boston. Call him, feel it out first. That way if he’s not receptive, then you’re still good here.”

“You don’t think he’ll be receptive do you?”

“Haley…who knows with Nathan,” Brooke said. “At the wedding he wanted you to come, but then, you know, he wanted it all on his terms. Maybe he’s…I don’t know,” she sighed heavily. “I think Greg has a good idea. Call him first.”

This wasn’t quite the response she was hoping for, nor expecting for that matter. They’d always been supportive of her and Nathan; they had actually been more supportive of Nathan than her in recent history. Maybe they were trying to protect him.

She looked earnestly around the table at all the eyes that seemed to be avoiding hers. “I’m not going to hurt him…I’m not,” she softly assured. “I’m fine now. I’ve finished school. I can go anywhere I want. Anywhere he wants. I’ve got it together. I won’t hurt him, I swear I won’t.”

“It’s not that Haley.” Peyton sighed looking to Jake for help. His eyes told her to be quiet. “There’s been a lot of hurt feelings between you two. Just think about it a little more okay? Make the phone call. See what he says. You’re back to your old self Haley, but Nathan…he’s…he’s changed a little Hales. Where he was a little prickly before, he’s a lot prickly now you know. He may not be what you need anymore.”

“I know about the women alright. I know he’s pretty much gone on without me, maybe he genuinely hates me, maybe he’ll tell me to piss off, and I guess…I’ll have to learn to deal with that. But…he’ll always be what I need Peyton. I just want one more chance to convince him of that.”

“Call him Haley,” Jake instructed with finality.

“Jake…fine…fine. I’ll call him. But if I even get the slightest bit of encouragement from him I’m outta’ here. And even if I don’t, I may just show up on his doorstep anyway,” she huffed with determination.

They just didn’t understand their connection. They were forever, she knew that now. She knew that then, but she’d made a major mistake and let him go, let him think otherwise. But she was going to fix it, she had to try, she knew she’d never be happy if she didn’t. She just wanted one more chance at happiness with him.

She called him. He didn’t call back. Not once, but three times she called over the next couple of weeks. She tried to give him time to return the calls. He was busy. He’d call. He didn’t.

He played the messages over and over. The sound of her cheerful voice was hypnotic. He replayed them till he had every single word memorized. Every inflection, every little giggle burned into his mind. She sounded so happy. He was going to be the ruin of her once again.

Wow, did she stink. She knew without a doubt why she never participated in athletics in school. She was bad. Everyone laughed when her serve whacked the guy in the front row right in the back of the head.

“Sorry,” she grimaced with a sheepish giggle. Volleyball…not her sport, even in the sand surrounded by her coworkers, some of whom she was certain never played before…she was still by far the worst one out there. She knew they just kept encouraging her to stay because she was good for a few laughs.

He swallowed hard as he watched from the study room window, where he couldn’t stop wiping an uneasy hand across his mouth. He refilled his glass, returning to the window. He chuckled with her when the ball hit her teammate.

She was gorgeous. With her hair swept up in a high ponytail that kept swinging wildly behind her, her little shorts, her red bikini top, her bare feet with the red painted nails he could see even from the window, and her wide smile. She was the picture of perfection. She was happy.

He couldn’t help the surge between his legs every time she would move. Her hair would swing and her breasts would jiggle and even without sound he could hear her embarrassed giggles. He wanted to brush the sand off her body…actually rolling around in the serf with her sounded even better. He shifted uncomfortably, tugging slightly at his pants to…adjust things. He couldn’t believe what affect the mere sight of her still had on him. He hadn’t gotten over her, he’d never get over her, he was quite simply - a pathetic loser when it came to her. Stop being a creepy voyeur and get away from the window idiot he scolded himself.

“Nathan…what are you doing here?” The less than welcoming voice of his father greeted from behind.

He startled at the unexpected sound. “It’s good to see you too Dad.” He grumbled without turning to look.

Dan shut the door behind him coming to stand beside Nathan at the window. Haley was clearly what had his attention. “You shouldn’t have come here. Not today Nathan.”

“Nobody was at the house. I forgot it was your company’s annual Fourth of July kiss Dan’s ass party. My bad.”

“Well now that you’ve been reminded, maybe you should just slip back out the door…before she sees you. We can visit later at the house.”

Nathan blew an irritated snort as he glanced at Dan. “At the house? I feel so welcome,” he scoffed sipping at his drink. “Sure there’s not a carpet you can just sweep me under? Now I know how Lucas felt all those years. You forget which one of us is your kid Dad? Oh…it’s me by the way. You may wish it was her, but it’s me. Sorry.” He rolled his eyes at Dan in guarded anger strolling reluctantly away from the view of Haley and plopping defiantly on the couch.

Turning his back on the window, Dan took up the chair across from Nathan where they continued their increasingly hostile standoff. “You should leave.”

Nathan’s hand tapped nervously at his leg, and he chewed harder at his lip glancing away from Dan’s hard glare. “I can’t. Not yet,” he mumbled into his glass.

“Why the hell not?” Dan roared back. “Go back to the house!”

“I can’t! She’s…shit, she’s coming here to the beach house.”

“What! What the hell for? Where is your head Nathan? Besides up your butt I mean. What are you thinking bringing her here? Call her, meet her somewhere else.”

“I’ve tried! Her phone’s off!”

“Well then get your ass out front and intercept her before Haley sees her!”

“This is ridiculous!” Nathan shot to his feet pacing agitated around the room. He poured himself another drink. “Why…why do I have to tiptoe around her huh? We’re not together. She broke up with me remember. Why would she care anyway?”

“And people say I’m an insensitive ass!” Dan blew back. “Do we need to take a stroll down memory lane son? You honestly think this isn’t going to upset her? You can’t be that daft Nathan!”

“Fuck!” His hands ran frustrated through his hair; his chest was pounding at a furious rate. He knew meeting her out front wouldn’t do a damn bit of good. She’d barge right past him and into the house. She wasn’t going to miss a thing.

“Why is she coming here Nathan?” Dan asked trying to find some semblance of calm.

“She…I’m,” he blew out a long slow breath. “I’m signing with Charlotte,” he ground out.

“Well Nathan…,” Dan chuckled. “That’s great. I’m happy for you…I think. Are you happy about it?”

“Yeah, I am,” he sighed. “They made me a great offer, and Mr. Johnson is a totally cool owner. I know they’re not that great right now, but I think I can help them; they have a good building plan. Boston couldn’t…or wouldn’t match it, which is fine. I was pretty much done there anyway. So…say ‘welcome home’ Dad,” Nathan sarcastically enthused.

Dan shook his head. “Welcome home son,” he quietly replied.

Under different circumstances he’d be jumping for joy. But Nathan was a mess, his life was a mess, and Haley…he’d come to love her like the daughter he never had. He didn’t want to see her hurt.

“Thanks,” Nathan answered back with matching insincerity. “Anyway, she agreed to come and check it out. See if she liked it enough to move here. I knew you and mom would be in Tree Hill…she wanted to meet you,” he sighed hard.

“She wants to meet us,” Dan huffed, put out with it all. “Terrific. I thought you weren’t in love with this girl…I thought there was no future with her.”

“I’m not in love with her!” Nathan interrupted agitated. “Shit, I can barely stand her. But I guess I figured it would be easier on all of us if she lived where I did you know? Unlike some people, I don’t plan on pretending the kid doesn’t exist.”

Dan sighed with defeat. “It would be best I suppose.”

“Dan?” Both their heads snapped toward the voice. “Dan?” Haley questioned again peeking around the door into the room.

“Yes…Haley,” Dan smiled jumping to his feet. Haley’s eyes grew wide; her smile equally as wide when she saw Nathan perched on the couch.

“Hey Nathan…I didn’t know you were coming,” she said with a gentle smile. She approached them slowly. The tension between father and son was obvious, but it was also status quo, she didn’t give it much thought. Nathan stood up; his empty hand immediately filled his pocket. His smile was nervous.

“Neither did anyone else…surprise,” Nathan shrugged with a small chuckle. He put the glass to his lips trying to avert attention from his eyes that were scoping her body. God she was hot. Haley returned the tense laugh. She had a passing hopeful thought he’d come in response to her phone calls.

“I umm…I’m sorry to interrupt, but Deb…um…Deb was looking for you Dan.” Dan shook his head looking to Nathan for some sort of…he didn’t know what. But whatever it was, he knew he sure as hell wasn’t going to get it.

“Okay, I better go see what fire needs putting out. Excuse me,” he smiled patting Haley softly on the back. He silently sighed at Nathan over Haley’s shoulder. Nathan refused to meet his gaze.

Haley’s arms folded apprehensively across herself. The feel of her bare stomach under her arms had her suddenly keenly aware of her exposed skin. She gulped hard trying to keep the smile on her face, and the tremulous tone from her voice. The fact it was obvious Nathan was looking anywhere but at her wasn’t helping.

“It’s good to see you. I guess you just came for a little vacation?” Nathan shook his head with a mumbled “Yeah.”

“That’s nice. So…I…I tried to call you…a couple of times,” she laughed lightly. “Did you get the messages?”

He shook his head again. He dropped back on the couch with a quiet sigh. “Yes, I did. I just…you know I’ve been really busy, and things have been kind of hectic lately. I just haven’t had the chance to call you back,” he lied, none to smoothly. She saw right through it. He was scratching at his head.

He looked up with confusion when she laughed. “Nice try, but you’re uh…you’re scratching your head,” she laughed again pointing at his hand that was still messing with the back of his head. He chuckled in return quickly dropping his hand into his lap.

“I really was going to call you.”

She nodded. No he wasn’t. She eased into the chair. And that little bit of hope…it was quickly fading.

“This party is really something. I’ve never come before. Most of the Charlotte office is here. He really gets a turnout doesn’t he?”

“Sun, sand, free food, free drinks…I guess everybody likes to kiss the bosses ass,” he shrugged with a little smile.

“Guess so.”

Nathan blew a short breath grasping for more small talk. He couldn’t gather the courage for anything deeper. “Congratulations on the law school graduation. You made it Haley…I’m really proud for you. I guess Dad conned you into coming on fulltime huh? How’s that going?”

As much as he wanted to keep his thorny wall up with her, not talk, not be cordial, polite, or even minimally nice…he couldn’t do it. Not now. He needed to tell her, she was going to find out…he had less than zero courage. Despite his attempts to convince himself otherwise, it was going to hurt.

“It didn’t take much conning. I’ve always like working there. It’s going really well so far. I’m not exactly working in the area of law I want just yet, but I will before long. Dan thinks I should be exposed to a little bit of everything first. So,” she shrugged with another smile. “I’ll just suck it up for a while.”

“Sorry. He always thinks he knows best.”

“It’s fine. It’s probably a good idea actually.”

“What area did you think you wanted to concentrate on…you know, before Dan corrected you.” She laughed. He smiled. He couldn’t relax no matter how he tried. He glanced at his watch. He had no idea when the witch was going to come blowing in.

“I want to be a trust attorney mostly. You know do estate planning, wills, trusts that kind of thing. Maybe your Dad will let me take over your trust,” she giggled.

“That’d be great, considering I don’t know squat about it. I don’t get a dime for a few more years. At least I could count on you to keep it all straight.”

“Thanks.”

She watched him with increasing concern. He was about to pop out of his skin with nerves. His hands continually fidgeted with his glass, and he couldn’t stop biting at his lip. She couldn’t believe how uncomfortable she was making him. She knew their last encounter was a horrendous disaster, but he called, he apologized, it had taken a while, but she’d put it behind her, obviously he hadn’t.

She shifted to the edge of her chair peering around to his face trying to catch his eye. “Are you alright Nathan?”

“Me? Oh…pfttt…yeah I’m fine.” With a forced smile he pushed to his feet and ambled back to the window. She watched him stare out the window with an ever tightening jaw. “Dad and me…you know we were just having one of our typical love fests.” He finished off his drink. “You want a drink?” He leisurely offered moving to pour himself another.

“No thanks,” she quietly answered. She could tell he wanted to be anywhere but near her, but she was determined to press further. Her mind was racing to think of something to draw him out. Calm him down. “Hey I was just playing volleyball, believe it or not…”

He laughed turning to face her again. “I saw.”

“Oh god…you didn’t? Was I not the most wretched thing ever?” She giggled as she moved to him. She took light hold of his hand. “Come play Nathan. You really look like you need to work off some steam. You can be on my team. They won’t dare make fun of me if I bring a good player. Besides…you can just jump in front of anything that comes at me. Save me from complete humiliation…if that’s even possible at this point,” she added with a laugh, grabbing his fingers a little tighter. “Come on…it’ll be fun.”

“I definitely could stand to work off some steam, but I…I can’t right now. Maybe a little later okay. I just…I just really can’t right now Haley.” He sighed, unmindful of his thumb rubbing gently over her hand.

She glanced down to their hands. She knew he didn’t realize what he was doing, or the pleasure it was giving her. She smiled up to him, to his furrowing brow and his eyes that seemed to be watching her with growing trepidation.

“Nathan…what is it?” she softly questioned.

His brow furrowed deeper as he nervously licked across his lips. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from hers that were beseeching him to let her help. He knew that look. He always confided in that look, it always helped him, calmed and satisfied him, took away all his anxiety. Made everything right for him.

He visibly shivered at the feel of her hand tightening around his. He’d forgotten he was holding it.

“Nothing,” he affirmed. “Nothing…I just can’t right now, but you should go…go ahead and go play, have fun Haley.” He wrapped an arm around her with a quick squeeze. He quickly reprimanded himself for the action. He wouldn’t rely on her, depend on her, he couldn’t burden her. He couldn’t let himself enjoy her company or most certainly her touch. He was about to crush her. He rubbed a brisk hand over her arm. “I’ll um…I’ll see you later.”

She sighed dejected at his back that moved hastily out of the room.

They stood in a little group in the middle of the living room; unaware guests flitted without a care around them. His arms were lodged across his chest. He continually shifted on his feet. His jaw was clamped so tight he was about to crack some teeth. He kept sighing and shaking his head in complete aggravation at the continued polite dialogue. Dan kept shooting him looks. He shot them right back. And Deb…poor Deb was trying to be accommodating and welcoming. She continually smiled and chatted amiably with the girl, but still, above all…she wanted to smack the holy hell out of her son.

“What do you think of North Carolina so far Kelly?” Deb asked trying not to acknowledge the heavy sigh coming from Nathan yet again. He didn’t want to have conversation. He just wanted to say ‘this is my father, this is my mother, now you’ve met - let’s go’. That obviously wasn’t going to happen.

“It’s…different,” Kelly disingenuously smiled. “Being from the northeast I’m used to a little more activity. It’s a bit more…rural than I expected.”

“Well Tree Hill’s a small town. I’m sure Charlotte will be more to your liking,” Deb tried.

“I flew into Charlotte. It doesn’t seem all that big.”

“Shit Kelly, it’s not going to be anything like Boston. At least it’s not so fucking cold here all the time,” Nathan grumbled.

“I didn’t think it would be like Boston, Nate. I was just saying it wasn’t quite what I was expecting.” She kept the smile pasted to her face as she brushed her hand over his back. He rolled his eyes, shifting on his feet again.

“Maybe you’ll grow to like it,” Deb said with a helpful smile. Kelly shook her head with yet another fake smile.

“What is it you do for work Kelly?” Dan asked trying for a more bland topic.

“I do some catalog modeling, but I’m a legal secretary also.”

Dan couldn’t hold in the laugh. “Really. Law…just seems to be in the cards for you huh Nathan?” Nathan rolled his eyes. He could barely contain the cursing he wanted to let loose. If there weren’t all these extra people milling around he wouldn’t even consider holding back.

“I’m not sure I understand,” Kelly said smiling up to Nathan.

He wanted to elbow away the hand she kept rubbing over his back. She knew how he felt about her. He was pretty certain he’d managed to kill any feelings she may have developed toward him, any ludicrous hopes she had for something deeper from him. He could do without the charades.

“He’s a lawyer,” he mumbled with a dismissive wave toward Dan.

“No kidding,” Kelly blew out in shock. “I had no idea.”

“I’m surprised, Nathan’s always been such an….open person,” Dan chided with a smirk. Nathan was about to completely combust.

“I’m sorry to pry,” Deb hesitantly questioned, “but how far along are you Kelly?”

Kelly glanced up at Nathan biting back the irritated sigh. “I’m about six months. I forget how many weeks exactly…do you remember Nate?” she asked with sweetness dripping from her voice.

“You’d know better than me,” Nathan puffed tightening the grip around himself.

“You haven’t been to the doctor with her?” Deb was appalled.

“Nope.”

“Nathan,” Deb said with an admonishing tone. “Don’t you think it’s about time you did? Take some interest Nathan.”

“She’s here isn’t she?” he huffed. “I’m taking responsibility okay? I’m trying to work something out. What more do you want? I’m going to support the…the…baby,” the word distastefully spit from his lips, “financially and every other way when it gets here. That’s all I got, take or leave it.”

Kelly gave Dan and Deb a distressed smile and a dejected sigh. Nathan looked down at her with a disgusted sigh of his own at the sound he knew she’d made an extra effort to muster up.

Her laughter wafted into the room. She stood in the doorway, looking back to whoever was talking to her from the patio. Nathan’s eyes squeezed closed, his body went rigid, he was certain his heart had stopped beating and he could feel the cold sweat flooding his body. He could feel his father’s panicked gaze on him, and heard the tiniest of gasps from his mother.

“No,” she laughed again. “I’m just sticking with this water,” she smiled holding her bottle aloft to them. “Yeah…yeah okay, I’ll make sure to get you the diet beer.” She hadn’t fully come into the room when the water bottle hit the floor, the liquid scattered haphazardly across it.

She couldn’t miss the four of them gathered in conversation in the middle of the room. They had a guest with them. A tall girl with long thick shiny brown hair. She was smiling. Her profile was perfect. Even without fully seeing her face she could tell she was pretty. Stunningly pretty. Her perfectly sculpted French tipped nails caught her attention for some reason. Maybe because she could see her fingers spread across Nathan’s back, moving ever so slowly around it or maybe it was the way the fingers of the other hand set splayed aside her swollen belly. She massaged gently into her lower back, returning to rub a light hand along the edge of her enlarged stomach before adjusting the top around it. The tall girl glanced up to Nathan with a smile. She really did have nice nails.

The quickly whimpered gasping moans…she didn’t hear them. If you’d asked her what her reactions were in those first few seconds, she would have told you she had none. She didn’t know she’d dropped her water in paralyzing horror. What water? There were four bodies in the room talking. Their mouths were moving, they had to be talking, but she heard nothing. Everything was moving in painfully slow motion.

One of them was Nathan. A girl was touching him. A pregnant girl was touching him and smiling adoringly up to him. And his parents…they were shaking their heads in acknowledgement of the girls moving mouth, Deb with a small smile, Dan with a tight one. And Nathan, he continued to stand beside this pregnant girl allowing her hand to rub over him.

It wasn’t until someone coming into the house bumped her with the door that she began to hear again, began to move again. Her foot slipped in the water as her bare feet kicked in gear. They tried to carry her away as her hand flew to cover her mouth that was making some god awful noise. Her chest was pounding so hard she couldn’t catch a solid breath. Her other hand waved furiously at her face trying to ease the heat, wave in some air, wave away the hot liquid spilling from her eyes. She recaptured her footing before she completely stumbled to the floor…god, she couldn’t breath. From her peripheral vision she caught the briefest glimpse of Dan’s stiff face as he stepped aside the group. The dark haired girl tossed a look toward the odd sound. She didn’t see anyone. Nathan…he didn’t stir.

She stumbled twice trying to scurry up the stairs to find her things. Her wobbly legs could barely hold her up. Her shins were surely going to bruise from the force of the steps hitting into them. The other people in the room, the woman coming down the stairs, looked at her bewildered by her frantic actions and the uncontrolled sobbing bursting from her.

Snatching her purse from the spare bedroom dresser she caught a peek at her reflection. Her face was splotchy and flushed, her eyes squinted tight and her shoulders shook hard against the crying that wouldn’t cease, she swiped a hand across her nose that wouldn’t stop running. Her chest was heaving, her breaths short and labored, as she sucked in deep gasps of air.

She couldn’t force down the replay of the girl rubbing her stomach and rubbing Nathan’s back and…she couldn’t breathe. Just as quickly, she looked away from herself and grasped her purse with a trembling hand. Her eyes continued to pour as she rushed back down the stairs digging with frenzy through her purse in search of her keys.

They fell out of her hand sliding abandoned across the tile floor just as she reached the bottom. She scrambled to get them, ignoring the concerned voice of the young woman in front of her when she asked if she was alright. She bit hard into her lip in an attempt to quiet the sobbing noises she couldn’t seem to stop. Stuffing her purse under her arm, she hurried toward the door, throwing it wide as she raced across the threshold, the sound of Dan’s voice calling her name bounced in the air somewhere behind her.

She dropped her keys again before she could reach her car. Her hands were trembling too fiercely to hold anything securely. “God,” she choked out as she grasped one hand with the other in an attempt to steady it so she could get a key in the hole to unlock the car. She threw her purse on the passenger seat as she jammed her key in the ignition. Her eyes were so clouded with tears she never saw the car she pulled in front of when she tore away from the curb. She only heard the squealing tires and blaring horn. She barely gave a glance toward her mirror at the noise, only wiped hard at her eyes with the heel of her hand in a futile attempt to clear her watery vision.

Dan stood in the doorway helplessly watching her run for her car; her weeping had chills running down his back. He called after her more than once, but stopped when it was apparent she wasn’t going to acknowledge him. He glanced at his son who joined him just in time to see her almost get smashed by the other car. “Jesus,” Nathan mumbled under his breath.

They both watched her speed away. When she was finally out of view Dan turned to Nathan waiting. Waiting for some words of regret or sorrow, remorse, contrition, or shame, he’d even take anger. His face reflected complete anguish, but he said nothing.

“Does this make you even now?” Dan quietly asked before leaving his son to stare down the empty road.

The sun was barely peeking through the window. She wiped a tired hand over her eyes and glanced to the spot beside her in the bed. The only thing there was the rumpled covers. One long stretch later, she eased out from under the warm covers. With a growing little smile she tugged her jersey down around her as she padded over to the little white bassinet in the corner. Peering in, her smile waned a bit when she found it empty, but it returned even larger when she heard the cooing coming from the other room. He must have gotten up so she could sleep. He was always putting her first.

Her face completely dropped and the trembling immediately took over her body when she saw them. Her face contorted in mortified confusion at the sight of the dark haired girl sitting in their living room. Nathan was squatting next to where she sat gently moving the rocking chair, his arm stretched around her shoulders, a euphoric smile spread across his face as his finger rubbed tenderly over the cheek of the tiny bundle the girl held cuddled in her arms. The girl smiled brightly at Nathan as he leaned in to drop a soft kiss on her forehead…

Haley bolted straight up at the sound that wouldn’t stop. She wiped at the water leaking out the edges of her burning eyes. The air was notably cooler and the sun was fading in her back window. Disoriented, she swatted away the bit of drool near the edge of her mouth and pushed her aching body to a more upright position. The sound wouldn’t quit. Her head swiveled to see out the windows. She closed her eyes letting her head fall back against the headrest with a muffled groan. She was still in her car, her dreams turned to nightmares.

She was still in the rest area somewhere between Charlotte and Tree Hill she stopped at what now appeared to have been hours ago. She remembered giving in to her tears and pulling over. She could barely see and it seemed every car that passed her looked over to her with concern etched across their faces. One woman even motioned for Haley to roll her window down. That’s when she gave up. She swatted away the tears and waved with a less than assuring weak smile at the woman. She pulled over into the rest area not a mile further down the road, and collapsed into a sobbing heap across her front seat. Judging by her current state, she had cried herself to sleep.

The sound that had momentarily stopped started up again. She sighed. Wearily reaching for her purse she dug her phone out of the bottom of it.

“Hello,” she croaked before clearing her throat and repeating the greeting.

“Haley…where are you?” Jake quickly questioned more than panicked.

“I’m um…,” she cleared her throat again trying to gather some strength to her voice. “I’m at a rest area between Tree Hill and Charlotte…why?”

“Are you okay?”

“Yes.” She could already feel her lip beginning to tremble.

“Are you sure Hales?” Jake asked softly. He could hear her straining to stay calm.

“Yes,” she repeated more firmly. “Why?”

Jake sighed. He knew what was going to happen the minute he said it. “Nathan called. Hales…I’m sorry.”

She couldn’t talk.

“He’s worried about you Haley. Why don’t you call him and talk about it.”

“Oh I think that would be a big fat NO. He has a girlfriend, a very pregnant one apparently, so I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have time to spend on me and my useless crying.” She drew a long deep breath wiping away the silent tears. “I screwed up Jake,” she choked out, once again succumbing to intense sobbing. “That’s supposed to be me. He’s supposed to be with me. I’m the one that’s supposed to have his babies not her. God Jake it’s not fair! I’m so stupid! I told him to go on with his life, but I didn’t mean it. He was supposed to know that! He was always supposed to love me…want me! I didn’t mean go get all involved with someone else and have a baby! Damn it Jake this isn’t the way it was supposed to go,” she cried as her body shook harder with the tears that flooded down her face.

“Shhh, come on Hales…settle down okay…please,” Jake gently pled. “It’s okay…shhh. It’s okay,” he continued to quietly coax her to calm down.

“I should have gone to Boston when he asked me the last time. I’m such a screw up! Now she gets Nathan and a baby and it was all supposed to be mine. I hate her I hate her I hate her!”

Jake couldn’t help the little chuckle. “Nathan’s not too keen on her either if that helps. She’s kind of a bitch actually.”

She grabbed a handful of tissues wiping at her wet face before fiercely blowing her nose. “That was nice,” Jake chuckled again. “Sorry,” she whined still wiping at her leaking tears.

“Apparently he was keen enough on her to make a baby with her,” she grumbled through her sniffles. “I don’t care if she is a bitch…she’s gorgeous…wait a minute…how do you know she’s a bitch?”

If she could have seen Jake’s face she would have seen him blanch, and seen the wheels visibly turning in his head trying to come up with a plausible story.

He knew all about Kelly. He and Peyton both met her when they went to Boston for a visit a few months back. She wasn’t pregnant then or she hadn’t told if she was. She came to Nathan’s while they were there; acting all comfy like she owned the place. He’d barely paid any attention to her. It was obvious he was more than uncomfortable with her presence and the way she kept hanging on him. They went to dinner. He didn’t invite her. He didn’t say a thing to her about it, not even a ‘see you later’ when they left. He never uttered a further word about her that night. It was a few weeks later during a phone conversation that Nathan told him about the pregnancy. To say he was unhappy about it would have been a major understatement. He was livid, not only with her, but with himself for letting it happen, letting her infiltrate his life in any way at all. But the damage was done. He had to live with it now.

“Jake?”

“I um…I met her a few months ago Haley, when Peyton and I went to Boston. We found out she was pregnant a couple of months ago.”

“So you’ve know all this time?” Haley gasped a quiet breath. “You knew, all of you knew, and you didn’t say anything? If you knew Greg and Brooke surely knew, and none of you said a word.” Her voice gained more strength with the disquieting realization they’d all been keeping this huge secret. “A few weeks ago when I was going on about moving to Boston you all just sat there! You let me think there was still a chance with Nathan! How could you do that Jake! How could you not tell me? I called him. You guys told me to call and I did. Why didn’t you tell me! I’m sure I sounded like a total idiot! No wonder he never called back. He probably got a big laugh when I told him I was thinking about coming for a visit!”

“No he didn’t Haley...”

“I’m sure you all got a big laugh out of it. Poor Haley…still hanging onto the past. How pathetic is she? He has a girlfriend; he’s having a baby…why doesn’t she just get her own life! Poor pitiful Haley!”

“Haley it wasn’t like that. We wanted to tell you. It…god Haley…it was…we couldn’t hurt you like that. Nathan wanted to tell you too, but even he couldn’t get up the courage. He didn’t want to hurt you either Hales. I’m sorry Haley. I’m so sorry…I…”

She was too angry for more tears. While Jake was groveling she’d dried her tears. Checking the mirror she tried to wipe away the smeared make-up. She straighten her clothes and adjusted her seat.

“Stop! Just stop Jake! I don’t want to hear anymore crap. You didn’t tell me because you didn’t want to hurt me. He didn’t tell me ‘cause he didn’t want to hurt me… How kind of all of you,” she sarcastically snit as she pulled back on the highway. “Maybe I have no right to be hurt you know. After all, I am the one who called the whole thing off with him. I have no right to feel anything about any of it, and there were no obligations on anyone to tell me a thing! So don’t worry. I’m over it,” she bit as she hung up on him tossing her phone into the back seat. She ground her teeth into her lip to stop that damn trembling she could feel starting up again.

She came in Monday morning to find her shoes, her towel and the remainder of her things she’d left at the beach house sitting on her chair. Dan finally showed up later that day to apologize as well. She gave him a curt ‘don’t worry about it’ before informing him she was late for a meeting with a client and leaving him standing alone in her office.

She buried herself in work for the next couple of weeks, staying late and coming in early. Anything to keep her mind occupied on things other than Nathan and his girlfriend and their…baby.

She couldn’t avoid it forever, and Dan was about to make that abundantly clear.

She was so engrossed in her work she didn’t hear him come in. He cleared his throat trying to gently get her attention before he closed the door behind him. She glanced up with obvious annoyance. She tried to gloss over the look when she saw it was Dan. He was the boss after all.

“How’s everything going?” he asked sliding into the chair across from her.

“Fine.”

“Good…good,” he said with an uncomfortable smile. Her return smile was just as uncomfortable. She apprehensively sat back against her chair, her hands rested lightly in her lap waiting for him to say something…anything.

“I…I’m just going to come out with it Haley,” he sighed frowning a bit as he cleared his throat again. “Nathan needs an attorney. And you’re it. We’re meeting with him tomorrow morning at 9:00. Be here at 8:30 ready to go. See you then,” Dan stated with resolute authority before getting up and walking back out the door.

She really needed to work on that avoidance thing.

Chapter 28

She changed clothes three times before she finally settled on something. She wanted to don herself in black including a black veil, rim her eyes in too much dark eyeliner and eye shadow and add some horribly dark lipstick. It would have fit her mourning mood. So what if it was August and the heat was sweltering. She waded up the black clothes and threw them angrily in a heap in the middle of her floor. “Shit!” she screamed loud enough for all her neighbors to hear as she pawed through her clothes. She snatched a green skirt off the hanger, a white camisole top along with a matching jacket. She slammed her feet into a pair of heels as she grabbed up her purse and marched with a huff for her door.

“Be here at eight-thirty ready to go,” she mocked as she

sat behind her desk with her arms folded tightly across herself, her legs crossed, her foot swinging with agitation. Her fingers drummed at the arm of her chair. She glanced at her watch. It was eight-thirty-three. “Why don’t you take your own advice,” she grumped under her breath.

She grabbed up the mail that Barbara handed her as she whisked by. She could at least busy herself with something since she had to wait on punctual Dan. Junk, junk…junk…she tossed the things she needed to read in a pile and the rest in the trash as she went to refill her coffee.

She sipped at her cup as she unfolded the morning paper. Her eyes bulged. She gasped stunned. There across the top of the paper was the last thing she expected to see. The last thing she needed to see. Could this god forsaken day get any better! In bold black letters the sports headline across the top of the paper read: Nathan Scott Signs with Bobcats. A box on the upper left section of the front page had an action picture of Nathan in his Celtics uniform. She was certain she’d missed a few words but the blurb under the photo went something like, ‘Former UNC all-American and Boston Celtic Nathan Scott signed a multi-year contract with the Charlotte Bobcats yesterday. Scott became a free agent at the end of last season. The Bobcats deal is reported to come with a substantial pay raise to the Celtic all-star. See sports page 1B for more details.’ She read it again…and again. She didn’t have a chance to get to page 1B before Dan appeared.

“Good morning,” Dan smiled closing the door as he came into her office.

“Morning,” she mumbled. She turned the paper around so he could read it as she dropped it back into the middle of her desk.

Dan glanced at her clenching jaw and stiff face with little emotion. “And there would be one of the issues,” he said folding the paper over and tossing it aside. “Let’s just go over a couple of things before we leave alright?” She wanted to roll her eyes. Like she had a choice?

“Nathan…I don’t even know where to start Haley,” Dan sighed frustrated. “This girl Kelly that he’s involved with…or not involved with if you listen to him…she’s pregnant…as you know. And as you’ve also seen, he just signed with Charlotte. The two aren’t going to mix. She doesn’t want to move to Charlotte. Not necessarily a bad thing,” he mumbled more in comment to himself than Haley. “But…what we want to do is work out some arrangements, custody arrangements support arrangements if you will, before the baby gets here…”

“Before it gets here?” she puffed with obvious confusion. “How are you going to do it before it even gets here?”

“I’m not…you are. Look Haley, this girls the type that could make Nathan’s life miserable when it comes to seeing this child. She’ll dangle it like a carrot to get no telling how much money, limit visitation…who knows what. It would be better for him if he gets something legal signed now. That way when it gets here there’s no tug of war going on. Once she sees that kid in the flesh the wheels are going to start turning in that head of hers and no telling what crap she’ll come up with. He’ll be lucky if he sees the thing before it starts school. This is the most prudent way to go. Get something signed, sealed, and legally filed, then he has some grounds to stand on when she starts up.”

Leaning her elbows on the desk she ran frustrated fingers through her hair. She was grasping for some sort of calm because at the moment all she wanted to do was run from the room screaming. She tapped annoyed fingers on her desk as she stared back at Dan. She was hoping against hope he’d see her struggle and just say ‘never mind, I’ll handle it’. From the look on his face, that wasn’t going to happen.

“So you want me to come up with some sort of custody deal some…financial support deal is that what I’m hearing?”

“Exactly.”

“Un hunh,” she mumbled as her fingers drummed with increasing agitation. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Why me? I mean…why me? Given my history with Nathan you would think I would be your last choice. If you have any sympathies toward my sanity at all you’ll pick someone else. I don’t want to handle this case Dan…I really, really don’t.”

Dan smiled. “I understand that Haley. And the old Dan would have said ‘tough, I’m not asking, I’m telling’. But I’m a new and improved Dan,” he chuckled. “I’m sensitive to your plight Haley, honestly I am, but we’re talking about my son here. I have to do what I think is best for him. And you handling this case is what’s best.”

She couldn’t stop chewing at her lip or hold back the long heavy sighs. Her hands dug through her hair with frustration once more. “I don’t see it. You have two floors of attorneys here Dan. Most of who have a lot more experience than I do. They could knock this thing out in no time. And…not to be insubordinate or anything…, but you could do it yourself you know,” she paused with a tight jaw waiting for the ass chewing but only found Nathan’s smirk on his father’s face. She wanted to slap it right off. “I mean…you have a bit of a reputation Dan. You’re well known for going right for the jugular which sounds exactly like what you want me to do. I’m not real good at that yet.”

“Now Haley…you really think Nathan wants me as his attorney?”

“Well, he came to you didn’t he?” She realized the lunacy of the suggestion. She knew she was going to end up doing it, but she wasn’t going to go down without protest.

“We’re all forced to do things we don’t want,” he said with a smile. “You know Nathan’s anal about his privacy Haley. He only came to me because he didn’t trust some other firm to keep it quiet. He at least trusts me with that. Which is where you come in frankly. You’re right, I do have other attorneys that could handle this, but you understand the client best Haley. You know what he wants and you know how to handle him. You know how he is about his personal business. Your familiarity is an invaluable asset here Haley. As for going for the jugular,” he chuckled with pride. “I could teach you a couple of things, but given the particulars of the case…you’ll figure it out. I don’t think you’re going to mind all that much, in fact, I’m pretty sure it’ll come real easy with her.”

“Dan,” she whined out his name barely able to keep from sticking out her bottom lip in a complete pout. It usually worked with Nathan, she figured she try it out on Dan. “Please don’t make me.”

“Sorry Haley,” Dan said with honest empathy. “You are working family law right now, and this does fall into that department. Everyone else in there is swamped. I actually considered having Ken do it since he’s partner over that section…”

“Ken…oh my god yes! Ken would be perfect Dan. He’d be very discreet. He’s perfect!” She grinned nodding her head with emphatic enthusiasm.

“He’s having knee surgery next week.”

“Shit,” she sighed in complete defeat.

“We’re late.” His statement apparently announced the discussion was over. “We need to get over there.”

“Shit,” Haley grit under her breath again as she stuffed her laptop and other things in her bag. “I’d just like to say for the record…the old Dan and the improved Dan…not much difference. They both said ‘tough, I’m not asking, I’m telling’.” Dan chuckled, if she only knew.

“Does Nathan know about this?”

“I told him on my way in this morning,” Dan said as he ushered her out the door.

“And?”

“And…,” he shrugged. “I really don’t know where he got that mouth. I’m thinking a few bars of soap stuffed in there when he was younger would have done a world of good,” Dan laughed.

“Terrific,” Haley grumbled. This was so going to suck.

She tallied her bills in her head on the drive over. She was trying to figure out how far in the hole she’d fall if she just up and quit. She just wouldn’t put the last couple of months of employment on her resume…no one would have to know she quit her first job out of law school after such a short stint. She couldn’t do it. Being responsible was a bite.

Dan knocked on Nathan’s hotel suite door, glancing down at Haley he tried not to smile at the irked sigh she’d just blown out. She tucked her hair, she chewed her lip, she shifted on her feet. If she could just punch Dan in the stomach she could get some much needed tension relief.

It was all Haley could do not blurt out ‘well fuck’ when the door was opened by a tall female wrapped in a robe. Judging by the comb she was running through her long damp blonde hair she was fresh out of the shower.

“Dan!” The girl’s smile spread from one end of her face to the other with her cheerful greeting. She threw her arms around Dan in a tight hug.

I’m going to vomit right here Haley groaned to herself. Right here…I’m going to lose it all right here…on this chick’s bare feet. She was beginning to see Nathan’s point of view where Dan was concerned. She didn’t like him too much right now either.

“Jill…how are you honey?” Dan grinned returning the firm hug. “I didn’t know you were here.”

He knew her…of course he knew her, what was she thinking. He apparently knew Nathan’s entire harem. Super!

Jill...Kelly…wow, Nathan really didn’t let any grass grow under his feet did he, she continued to inwardly complain. So one was pregnant…a man still had needs. She’d been hit square in the gut with the newspaper this morning. Now this Jill smacked her in the head. She felt like she should turn around and let Nathan kick her in the ass. It was coming…may as well get it over with. Shit!

“I got in yesterday. I had some business here so I stayed with the grouch. I’m glad you’re here. I was going to stop by and see you on my way out. You look good,” she sweetly continued as she rubbed a brisk hand over Dan’s back.

“Thanks, so do you. I’d like you to meet one of my associates,” Dan smiled stepping aside to gently push Haley forward. She wanted to elbow him so bad right now; instead she pasted a fake smile to her lips and graciously extended her hand. “This is Haley James. Haley, Jill Butler.”

“Hello,” Haley politely greeted trying not to jerk her hand away. The girl’s eyebrows perked up with surprise. She looked at Dan. She looked at Haley. Her smile grew wider. She held Haley’s hand tighter.

“Haley,” she said with breathy shock. She glanced up to Dan again. He gave her the most discreet head shake he could manage. She positively beamed at Haley. “Hi…Haley,” she repeated vigorously shaking her hand. “It’s so nice to meet you. Where are my manners,” she laughed stepping aside to let them in. “It’s really nice to meet you.”

Haley apprehensively smiled back. “It’s nice to meet you too.” She looked up at Dan perplexed by this Jill’s joy at meeting her. Dan ignored the eyes he felt on him.

“Nathan!” Jill practically shrieked. “Get out here!”

Nathan apparently got along with her about the same way he did every other female.

“You’re so pretty,” Jill gushed. “And so…pleasant,” she continued, looking up to Dan with surprise. Dan shrugged knowingly. He didn’t know how the hell Nathan got her either.

“Thank you,” Haley replied trying to mask her continued confusion.

“Nathan!” Jill yelled again. “Sorry...he’s…,” she stumbled waving her hand haphazardly in the air. “I’ll get him.” She hadn’t gone five feet when Nathan shuffled into the room tugging a t-shirt over his head. Jill had to bite her lip to keep the laugh from falling out when she saw Haley’s eyes linger over Nathan’s chest.

“Stop the damn yelling. God you’re a pain.” Jill stuck her tongue out at him before excusing herself to get dressed. He glanced apprehensively toward Haley. “Hi.” He ignored Dan all together.

“Hi.”

“Good morning to you too.” Dan chuckled at Nathan’s rolling eyes. “Shall we sit?”

“No we shall not,” Nathan snapped back. “I thought she was the attorney? Wasn’t that your grand proclamation this morning…she’s my attorney? I don’t even know what the hell you’re doing here if she’s it...”

“Hellooo…she she she…she has ears. She’s in the room. She can speak for herself. She doesn’t like it anymore than you do, but she’s stuck and so are you,” Haley complained as she began pulling her things from her bag and setting up at the table.

“Yeah no shit,” Nathan muttered with a hard glare directed at his father.

“Nathan…,” Dan started to argue before Haley held her hand up to stop him.

“Dan, please…just…just let me handle it. This constant nonsense between you two isn’t going to help anything. As much as I’d rather be beaten than do this, I’m here, so just let Nathan and I take care of it okay?”

Nathan listened awed. She politely told Dan to butt out…and he did. Dan glanced at Nathan a bit annoyed, but only replied to Haley’s demands with a mumbled “fine” as he shoved his hands in his pockets and turned to stare out the window with a barely detectable pout. Nathan brushed a hand over his mouth to cover the admiring smirk.

He slumped into the chair across from her waiting bored while she set up her computer and got herself situated. Haley paused staring holes through his rapidly drumming fingers. “Stop that.” He frowned unaware of the problem till he looked up to see her eyes drilled into his hand. He folded his arms across his chest with a deep sigh. She rolled her eyes with a sigh of her own.

She blew out a light breath, cursing herself for her thoughts of how good he looked. “Alright…”

“Why don’t you go bug Jill,” Nathan threw out to Dan. He didn’t want him eavesdropping.

“Focus,” Haley grumbled. Nathan threw his hands up waving an annoyed one toward Dan.

“I believe she’s getting dressed,” Dan said with restrained politeness.

“Jill! Are you dressed?” Nathan shouted. Haley cringed at the volume. Her fingers immediately went to massaging her temples. This was going to be even worse than she thought.

“God…why must you yell? Why don’t you just go check?” She quietly grit back at Nathan.

“No. What if she’s not?” He puffed as if she were stupid.

“And…”

“And…I’d really rather avoid that vision. Jeesh.”

“Whatever,” Haley scoffed as she began clicking away on her computer.

“Wait,” Nathan laughed. “You think she’s with me?” He laughed harder. “That would be a no. A big hell no…”

“Not my business,” Haley sing songed as she continued to type.

“She’s Lucas’ girlfriend. She works for Trent.” Haley barely held back the relieved sigh.

“How nice,” she sarcastically mumbled pretending complete disinterest.

“She’s like a blonde Brooke or something. Drives me up the wall.”

“I like her already,” she mumbled again. “Now then,” she looked to him with a tight smile. Her mind drew a complete blank for more words when her eyes locked on his. She wanted to drown herself in the blue pools like she had done a thousand times. She tried to look away from his lips and the way he was nervously chewing at the corner but couldn’t. He bit into his lip harder as he watched her tongue swipe damp across her lips. She was nervous as he’d ever seen her, and the numerous ideas of how he could calm those nerves wouldn’t leave him alone. Even under these dreadful circumstances he had a one track mind where she was concerned. He couldn’t even consider going there. He’d blown it but good this time. He cleared his throat and sat up straighter glancing once again toward Dan.

“Excuse me a minute.” She could hear him and Jill’s agitated voices, and then they were suddenly standing beside her with Jill still trying to get her shoes on. Jill gave Nathan a narrowed glare before she tugged her clothes straighter and painted a happy smile back on her face.

“Dan, I know it’s a tad late, but how about some breakfast? My treat. The restaurant in this place is actually pretty good.”

“I don’t…Haley…you sure you don’t need some help?”

Nathan groaned.

“She better call somebody else if she does.” Nathan didn’t even have to look, he heard her silent shut-up loud and clear. His arms folded across himself with a huff glaring once again at Dan.

“I’ll be fine. Go ahead and go. I’ve got it.” Nathan gave Dan’s hesitant sigh a sarcastic smile. Jill rolled her eyes. These two were just as ridiculous as ever. Lucas’ family was just…weird.

Jill looked at Dan as they waited for the elevator. They both started laughing. “Was there tension in that room or what? My lord, could they have tried any harder to hide the way they were checking each other out. Five dollars we come back and find them in bed,” Jill said holding her hand out to Dan for confirmation on the bet.

Dan shook her hand. “Normally, I’d say you were right, but given what they’re about to discuss…I think it may kill the mood.”

Nathan couldn’t take it anymore. Haley’s continued spurts of typing were driving him crazy. “What in the hell are you typing?” He finally huffed frustrated.

“Stuff,” she mumbled without slowing down. He began the finger tapping again. “Stop it!” He hit them a few more times just to piss her off a little more before he dropped them in his lap and slumped further in his chair.

She drew a deep breath, mentally coaching herself to be strong, forget anything personal. Just treat it like any other case. Treat it like she didn’t know a thing about him…like he was any other client…like he didn’t mean a thing to her…like any of that crap was going to work.

“Alright…Kelly…let’s hear about her,” she asked with a remarkably business tone that surprised both of them.

“She’s a bitch. The end. I need to say something,” he quickly rambled.

“You’re the client…go ahead,” Haley smiled with a small please do gesture. “And by the by…I’ll need a little more info than that on Kelly, but go on.”

“I’m um…I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” He briefly hesitated when Haley’s face completely stiffened. “Haley…I wanted to tell you, I tried that day at the beach house I just couldn’t get up the courage. I knew it was going to hurt you, and I just…I couldn’t make myself do it. But I should have I’m really sorry. You deserved better than to find out like you did. It was cowardly and I’m just so sorry,” he softly apologized. She closed her eyes for a second desperately grasping for the calm and resolve she’d managed to gather earlier.

Her insides were screaming so loud she was surprised he couldn’t hear them. She fought to soften the tension in her face. “Thank you, but I really don’t see why you should apologize. I don’t know why I acted the way I did. It was ridiculous how I completely overreacted. I’m embarrassed frankly. You’re entitled to do whatever you please Nathan with absolutely no obligations to me. You have a new life. That’s fine. That’s the way it should be. You’re about to be a father. I should actually be congratulating you. It really is awesome for you Nathan. Your own child…congratulations. I’m happy for you…I really am,” she said with as genuine a smile and with the utmost sincerity she could muster. It was exhausting.

He was taken a bit aback by her words. Her congratulations, the sound of sincerity in her voice. And she seemed truly calm. While he was glad she’d found some peace with it, for some reason it irked him a bit. He wasn’t happy about it, she certainly shouldn’t be. Apparently it was just the baby part that upset her and not the fact that it was his baby he twisted his mind to conclude. Just like when they broke up…she was devastated about the baby, but the loss of him…she managed just fine. He shook his head with a mix of agitation and defeat. Why he ever imagined she’d care was beyond him.

“What do you want to know?” He asked ready to get this meeting over.

She was slightly unsettled by the sudden mood swing. Where he seemed concerned and soft before, now he was just…grumpy. She was just going to ignore it; she had to get through this.

“Okay…what I understand from Dan is we want to work out some sort of custody and child support agreement. Hopefully she realizes how important it is that you be involved in this child’s life and she’ll be cooperative…” “Don’t be on it,” he grumbled.

“Alright, well then I need to know more about her just in case we have to get a little more…personal about things. How’d you meet, what she’s like, what kind of things does she like to do. How far along is she, is she taking care of her health. What does the doctor say about how it’s going. Just those type of things.”

He shook his head with a quiet snort. He couldn’t get over how calm Haley was, how this whole thing was nothing but business to her. Fine…she asked.

“Okay. I met her in a bar. We had sex the first time I met her. She kept calling, we kept having sex. Then she shows up at my place. We had more sex. She kept showing up, we kept having sex. Then…”

“Wait!” Haley swiftly interrupted trying to mask the impact of his blunt words. She blew a long sigh raking her fingers through her hair struggling for control.

“What…you want to type this or something?” His compassion was gone.

“No I don’t want to type it! Look Nathan, I don’t need an intercourse count okay. I’m talking about relationship type things. Something more than just the screwing. God,” she huffed with frustration.

“What relationship? That was the relationship. Sex,” he shrugged.

“So if I asked her the same thing she’d say it was just sex?”

“I don’t know what the hell she’d say, and I really couldn’t care less. As far as I’m concerned that was it.”

Haley rolled her eyes with a harsh scoff. Here he was…Nathan Scott the complete ass. She could never understand the way Peyton and Brooke would talk about him. Now she got it. He was never this cold and unfeeling with her. Never even close. It was never just sex with them. He was always so respectful of her. He’d hidden it well all those years, because apparently he’d reverted to his natural assy form.

“But isn’t she living with you?”

“A lot of her stuffs there, or was there. I never asked her to move in. She just sort of did it on her own.”

“Did it on her own?” Haley repeated with disbelief. “You didn’t think to say, ‘hey Kelly, what’s with all your shit in my house?’”

“Not really.”

“As long as she kept putting out it was okay.” Haley stated flatly as she dropped back against her chair and folded her arms across herself, looking at him with pure disgust.

“Yeah…pretty much I guess,” he shrugged matter of fact.

She continually shook her head as she began typing again. “She must have been good that’s all I have to say,” she muttered jabbing across the keys with more force.

Nathan leaned his folded arms on the table staring at her till she felt his piercing glare and looked up. “I’ve had better,” he growled low. “A lot better.”

She held his cocky smirk thankful she was still wearing her jacket so he couldn’t see the goose bumps his tone had caused. He probably knew they were there. He knew exactly what that voice did to her. She shook off his stare with another scoff and an exaggerated eye roll. He chuckled falling back against his chair pleased.

“So we’ve established she was your fuck buddy. Great. Not sure that’s the least bit helpful to the situation, but you never know,” she sarcastically snit. “Anyway, what’s her story? Where’s she from, how old, jobs, etc.”

“Is all this crap really relevant Haley, or you know, are you just being nosy?”

The fury immediately filled her eyes. He tried not to flinch at the look or the way she was jabbing her pen in the air at him as she went off. “Look jackass, the last thing I want to listen to is a dissertation on your sex life, or details on your sex partners, but I have a job to do. In case you’ve forgotten, you’re paying me to settle your problem, and I don’t come cheap. So I could do without your smart ass comments!”

“Okay okay,” he sighed barely humbled. “She’s twenty…something. Two I think. She does some modeling.” Haley was having a hard time biting off her own snide comments. “She’s a legal secretary. She’s from…Vermont…no Connecticut. I don’t think she went to college. I don’t really know anything about her family. What else?”

“That was really informative,” she muttered under her breath. “Does she smoke or drink, especially since she’s been pregnant?”

“She doesn’t smoke, cigarettes anyway. She drinks, but I’m not sure about the pregnant part. Not that I remember seeing.”

Haley’s eyes eased up from her keyboard. “Cigarettes…as in she smokes other things?” She slowly ground out. He shrugged.

“She smokes pot?” Her voice grew more agitated with each word.

“I don’t think I’d say, ‘she smokes pot’ like she’s a pothead or anything, but yeah, I’ve seen her smoke pot a few times,” he replied as if it were routine.

Her arms clamped across herself again as she glared at him once more. “You’re involved with a pot smoker? You’ve seen her smoke pot…like you’re sitting around with people smoking pot… Nice Nathan, that’s just…real nice. What about you?”

“We’re not talking about me,” he retorted evenly.

“We are now,” she huffed. He shook his head with a quiet scoff. “Answer me. Have you been smoking pot Nathan?”

“It’s not really your business now is it Haley?”

“Sure as hell is. Now answer the question. This character assassination shit works both ways you know,” she rejoined with barely controlled anger. He rolled his eyes locking his jaw tighter.

“Nathan…”

He leaned his elbows on the table, tucking his folded hands under his chin, matching her glare as their eyes locked in silent battle.

“We have random drug testing Haley. I’d be kind of dumb to smoke pot don’t you think?” He condescendingly quipped.

She quirked an eyebrow before leaning forward on her elbows, and tucking her hands under her chin in a mocking gesture. “You didn’t answer the question,” she replied with calm control.

She refused to play his game. His eyes were slowly drifting from her eyes to her lips. He lightly dampened his own. She knew he was trying to unnerve her with his little ‘I’m sexy and I know you think so too’ bedroom eyes. She stayed strong even though everything in her was screaming at her to challenge him by wetting her own lips and smile coyly at him, give him that come and get it look. She swallowed hard gritting her teeth more tightly against his teasing.

Her eyebrow quirked higher.

He finally sighed in resignation. He couldn’t even get to her anymore. He dropped back against his chair shaking his head with another dejected sigh.

“No lawyer James. I haven’t smoked pot since I was eighteen, and reformed my hedonistic ways for someone.” She didn’t flinch at his implications only listened to his words and watched his every move satisfied it was the truth.

“It would appear you’ve had a relapse in some areas,” she coldly retorted. He refused to meet her accusing eyes.

“Okay,” Haley sighed. This whole thing was incredibly taxing. Her head was beginning to throb and she felt like she needed a nap.

“What about the baby?”

He shrugged as his face grew tight. He stared off into space for a moment. “What about it?” he sighed quietly.

“When’s it due? How’s the pregnancy going in general?”

He sighed again. Talking about Kelly was one thing. He didn’t like her, he could bitch about her all she wanted, but the baby…he preferred to pretend it didn’t exist.

“Haley…look…,” he sighed again. “I don’t have many answers for you. She’s about six months along. I don’t know the due date. I haven’t been to the doctor with her so I don’t know how it’s going. To be perfectly honest…I don’t care to hear the details. I’m not happy about this baby Haley, not even the tiniest bit, but I’m kind of stuck…”

“Stuck! You’re stuck! How can you be so callous Nathan? That attitude is horrible! You should be ashamed of yourself. That’s awful! This is your child Nathan. How you feel about Kelly is irrelevant. This baby needs you…”

“And I’ll be there for it,” he barked back. “Once it gets here I plan on taking care of it in every sense of the word. I don’t plan on pulling a Dan Scott. I’ll be there, but right now…I can’t. I can’t. It seems so unreal to me. I just can’t find any feelings for this baby right now.”

She sat back against her chair again, stunned by his extremely unsettling words. She was actually finding herself feeling sorry for Kelly. “Well I don’t know what to say to all of that Nathan. I’m shocked. That’s sad. It’s just terribly sad. It’s sad for you and it’s especially sad for this baby. It deserves a father that loves and cherishes it.”

He stared at his fingers that fidgeted in his lap. He agreed, but from the minute Kelly told him the wall he held her back with just grew that much higher. He couldn’t feel for this baby no matter how hard he tried. He wasn’t sure the reason. There was just something wrong about having a baby with somebody you couldn’t care less about. He just prayed his attitude would improve once he saw it.

“It’s not the same,” he absently whispered to himself.

Haley’s face twisted in confusion. “What? What’s not the same?”

He shrugged as he continued to fidget. “The whole thing. The baby. It’s not like with our baby.” He didn’t hear Haley suck a sharp breath nor did he look up to see the instant tears prickling her eyes. She fiercely blinked them away.

“Nathan…,” she softly started before he cut her off.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring that up. I’m sorry Haley.”

“No it’s okay. Why isn’t it the same? It’s a baby Nathan. An innocent little baby that needs your love.”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged truly confused by his feelings or lack of feelings. “It just isn’t. Maybe it’s Kelly. I don’t know. I just know before…I mean I was a little unnerved at first, but I never didn’t want it. I was never unhappy about it. Ever. I wanted that baby. I mean I was crazy in love with that kid and it was just beginning to grow. I look at Kelly and her obviously pregnant body, and…I feel nothing. I know it’s bad to be that way Haley, but I can’t help it. With our baby…I don’t know…maybe it was because I loved its mother.” He sighed frustrated with himself and the true confessions that seemed to be spilling out. He pushed himself out of his chair and wandered to the window staring forlornly into the distance. “What else do you need to know?” He quietly asked as he continued to stare.

He didn’t know she was there till he felt her head lay against his back and her arms wrap around his stomach. He would have given anything in that moment to turn around and place his mouth over hers, just get lost in her comfort; instead he laid a warm hand on top of hers and gently squeezed them.

“I’m sorry Nathan,” she whispered desperately fighting back the tears. “It’ll be okay. Once you see that baby you won’t be able to help loving it…just like you did ours. It’ll be okay.” He rubbed his hand over hers. There was no way she should be reassuring him, comforting him, but she was and he was grateful. It was typical Haley, worrying about him, trying to sooth away his worries, it was just one of a million reasons he knew he’d never stop loving her.

It wasn’t until the door thumped closed that they realized they weren’t alone. Haley jumped a foot at the sound quickly releasing Nathan. She thumbed away the dampness she felt under her eyes before her arms wrapped around herself and she turned with a weak smile toward Dan and Jill. “How was breakfast?” she asked trying to strengthen her smile as she ran a shaky hand through her hair. Nathan never turned; he wordlessly continued to stare out the window.

They both noticed Haley’s watery eyes. Jill briefly glanced to Dan hoping he would take the lead and say something. He was as mute as Nathan. “It was good,” Jill finally spoke up. “We brought you guys some muffins. They’re really really good.” She elbowed Dan trying to bring him back from wherever it was he’d gone.

“Yes, they’re really good,” he agreed. Haley couldn’t help but smile at Jill’s rolled eyes toward Dan and his unusual lack of words.

“Thank you.” Haley took the plate from Dan and refilled her coffee cup. “Nathan you want one? Nathan,” she repeated louder when he didn’t budge.

“Hunh?” he distractedly mumbled finally turning to them. “Yeah sure,” he mumbled again when Haley held up the muffin to him, moving back to slump in his chair again.

Dan was about to bust with questions. He watched the two of them nibble at their food trying not to audibly groan in frustration. The lack of control of the situation was about to kill him. The silence was only broken when Jill came back in rolling her luggage behind her. If Dan wouldn’t ask she would. Who cared, Nathan already knew she was a busy body.

“How’d it go?” she directed toward Haley. “You figure out how to beat the ‘ho?”

“Well,” Haley smiled wiping at her mouth. “We’re not really trying to beat her exactly. More like work out a viable compromise. We’ve made some progress, but we still have a ways to go.” Nathan’s attempt at a smile fell flat.

“Okay, well…good. Dan’s offered to run me to the airport so you guys can stay after it. It was really nice to meet you Haley. I’ve heard a lot of great things about you.” Jill couldn’t help but smile at the way Nathan cut rolled eyes her direction. “Well, I have,” she laughed punching his arm. Haley giggled.

“Thanks.”

Jill hugged Nathan’s droopy shoulders, and dropped a quick kiss on the top of his head. “I’ll see you soon grouch. Love you. I’ll tell Lucas you send your love because I know you do. Oh…don’t forget to call Trent about those endorsement proposals I left alright. Haley…I’m sure we’ll be seeing more of each other. Bye.”

“Bye,” Nathan muttered between bites.

“I’ll swing by on my way back from the airport to get you.” Haley gave Dan’s apprehensive words from the doorway a confident smile and an assuring nod.

“I like Jill. I can totally see her with Lucas.”

“She’s okay. Sort of reminds me of Brooke. She’s not quite as abrasive as Brooke, but she doesn’t hesitate to boss me around like Brooke. She’s a pill actually.”

“You could probably use a little bossing around. I’m sure she works well with Trent and his spastic self. Speaking of which…I forgot to tell you congratulations on signing with the Bobcats. It sounds like a great deal for you,” she smiled sweetly.

“Oh…thanks. Yeah…it is a nice deal. I think it’s going to work out. They have some good plans so yeah; I think coming to Charlotte was a good decision.”

“Good…I…well, I guess we better get back at it,” she smiled shifting her attention back to work. Things had already gotten way too personal. She needed to refocus and get through this.

They were almost back to the office and Dan was growing concerned at the way Haley hadn’t said a word the whole way back, only stared with a small furrowed brow out the window. They seemed to be done when he got back to the hotel room. Haley was packing up her things while Nathan sat quietly watching. They seemed to be making amiable small talk. They even exchanged a couple of smiles. It seemed to have gone alright. But since they left Haley seemed to have grown sullen.

“Haley…are you alright? Things go okay?”

“Yes they went fine. I’ve got to put things together and get up a formal proposal for custody and support for Nathan to approve, but it went okay…considering,” she mumbled.

“I know it was difficult for you Haley, but I appreciate you doing this. Nathan does too. I hope he wasn’t too hard on you.”

Haley shook her head. “He was fine Dan. It started a little awkward, but we got it together. I think we’ll be ready for Kelly. I told Nathan I’d try and set up something with her attorney in the next week or so, and I’m really going to try and get them to come to Charlotte. I think it would be better.”

“Sounds good. Thank you again Haley,” Dan smiled lightly patting her hand. She returned the small smile before going back to daydreaming out the window. Being face to face with the woman Nathan had been basically living with, having sex with, getting pregnant, was going to be complete torture. She had to find some way to stop replaying the thoughts of the two of them rolling around in the bed…of Nathan doing to Kelly what he did to her. She really needed to thwart the ideas of how she’d like to take this Kelly and…god, she had to stop. She had to find some way to stop thinking about him period.

Work. She immersed herself in work. She took on extra cases, she worked tirelessly on the ones she already had. She stayed late, she came in early. She had a hard time getting to sleep most nights. Despite Nathan’s protests about not wanting the baby she kept having the same recurring dream of him smiling down in rapture at the baby Kelly held cuddled in her arms. He looked so happy. Only the dream had changed a bit over the days, he always left their bed after having slow burning sex with Haley to happily greet Kelly and their child in the other room. One dream even had him carrying the baby back to their bedroom to show Haley as she lay in their bed with a sheet barely covering her naked body still in the afterglow of their love making. They weren’t dreams. They were freaking nightmares!

She agreed to meet some people from work at the restaurant slash bar just down the street from the office. It was Friday. She was worn out. A couple of drinks a little bite to eat and maybe she could get some much needed rest. She could sleep in tomorrow. Never going to happen, but she could still hope.

Most of her little group was already there. They greeted her like she was Norm from Cheers. They’d obviously been there a while. She smiled wide accepting their warm hugs. She draped her suit jacket over a chair, brushing her hand over her skirt and tugging her top a little straighter. She sipped at the drink the waitress had already brought to her. It was cool and refreshing…just what the doctor ordered. She giggled at some silly story one of her associates was telling.

She wasn’t twenty feet from him. His head snapped over when he heard the name being loudly called out. Sure enough it was his Haley. He watched her interact with her coworkers. She was smiling and relaxed…and beautiful as ever. He admired the way her top fit snuggly along the curves of her breasts, the way her skirt showed off the perfect roundness of her butt cheeks, and the way her heels accented the firmness of her bare legs. And the sweet sounds of that giggle. He could feel his pants expanding. It was a good thing he was sitting. Being in the same city with her was going to be…difficult to say the least.

His friend waved a hand in front of his face to draw him back to the conversation. He followed Nathan’s eyes. They were glued to the ass of the girl standing at a table across the room. His friend laughed.

“Why don’t you go over and introduce yourself man. I mean, you may as well find out the name of the girl you just nailed in your head,” Mark laughed elbowing Jason who guffawed right along with him.

Nathan held back comment only allowing a small smile at getting caught being so obvious. He tried to refocus on his friends. He didn’t want to interrupt Haley while she looked so happy and content with her friends. He would only make her uncomfortable.

Her own head jerked around minutes later when she heard the laugh. She knew that sound. It always made her heart flutter. Just like it did now. There he was, sitting in a booth with a couple of guys laughing. He was gorgeous. He was perfect. He looked so relaxed. He belonged to somebody else…even if they hadn’t made it into the world yet.

She kept trying to make them stop, she kept yelling at them to stop, but her damn feet kept moving her along until they deposited her right beside his table.

“Hey,” she smiled brightly at Nathan, glancing at his friends so as not to appear rude.

“Hey,” he smiled back. His friends grinned at the pair. Nathan was definitely living up to the reputation they’d heard about. He only had to stare at the back of this girl, and the next thing you knew, there she was standing beside him. Some guys had all the luck.

“I didn’t know you were here, well till I heard you laugh,” Haley giggled with a mild blush.

“I…I saw you come in, but you looked like you were busy with your friends so I didn’t want to interrupt. You look nice Hales.”

“Thanks.” The blush grew a little deeper. “I had to go to court today so I had to dress up all lawyer like. These heels are kind of killing me though,” she grimaced reaching down to wiggle her shoe around her foot. The men laughed.

“I don’t think I’d trade shaving everyday for heels,” Nathan’s friend laughed.

“I’d rather have the heels,” Haley grinned at him.

“Oh um…this is Mark and Jason. They work for the Bobcats. This is Haley James, she’s…she’s…”

“His attorney,” Haley finally jumped in to finish his stammering sentence for him reaching out to firmly shake his friend’s hands.

“Attorney…you’re his attorney?” Mark chuckled in disbelief. “Nice Nathan. My um…my attorney has a comb over and a big belly. I didn’t know they made attorney’s that looked like you. I may need to switch. You have any business cards Haley?”

Nathan’s face had turned to stone. Mark didn’t notice, but Jason was about to bust a gut trying not to laugh at the way Nathan was obviously none to thrilled by Mark’s blatant flirting with his attorney.

“No. She doesn’t have any cards,” Nathan ground out before Haley could even move her mouth. “I have her number. I’ll give it to you…if I decide you’re worthy of it.”

Mark laughed tossing his hands up. “Okay man…whatever you say,” he laughed again.

Nathan finally looked back at Haley to find her frowning at him. “I have cards,” she said as her arms landed across herself.

“He said he had an attorney. He doesn’t need two. Keep it.”

She held Nathan’s eyes with a disapproving glare before turning back to Mark. “I’ll get you a card Mark.” Nathan sniffed in irritation.

“Why don’t you join us?” Jason politely asked waving at the open seat next to Nathan in the booth.

Haley glanced unsurely at Nathan who covered his own nerves with a light smile as he scooted closer to the wall to make more room.

“Well…I guess I could…for a minute,” she shyly replied. She smoothed her skirt under herself as she slid into the space beside Nathan. He nudged himself a bit closer to the wall. Just completely changing seats with one of the others may be too obvious he quickly decided.

She sipped at the drink they ordered for her while she listened with passing interest to the stories of Mark and Jason. Nathan hardly had a mumble to offer to the conversation. His weak chuckles were about the only noises she heard from his side of the seat. He quickly jerked his knee back when it bumped into hers when he relaxed his legs too far apart. He barely glanced toward her in apology. His thumb was in constant motion against his glass. He was a huge ball of nerves.

He blew a light nervous breath. God she smelled good, and could he have a stiffer woody? His mind had wandered far from the conversation. He was reminiscing. Reminiscing of moments somewhat similar to this with Haley, moments when they’d be in a darkened booth or a near empty movie theater and he’d reach for her hand and bring it back to rest on his enlarged crotch. She’d massage him till he couldn’t take it anymore, and they’d end up rushing from the restaurant or theater to finish in the car. They’d even managed to make it home a few times. Of course, there were a couple of times they finished in the theater. It was a matinee, a crappy movie, they were in the back row, the nearest person was several rows away. She was wearing a skirt, just like now…and she’d crawled in his lap and they went at it. He was certain someone was going to hear her breathless little moans or his rapid panting, but no one acted the wiser. He could go for some of that panting with her right now…

“Nathan…,” he heard Jason call to him. His head snapped over at the sound. “You alright? You sound like you’re about to hyperventilate or something. Your face is flushed man…you okay?”

He shook his head. “Yeah…fine. I’m fine,” he quickly mumbled out running a quick hand through his hair. He glanced toward Haley giving her concerned look a small smile. Her brow furrowed a bit. He blew a short breath trying for a more relaxed expression. She wouldn’t stop staring. “I’m fine,” he repeated directly to her worried face this time.

“Okay,” she said with her own small smile. She thought she recognized that flush, but blew it off as an impossibility. There was no way he was thinking what that face usually meant he was thinking.

God go down already he grumbled inwardly to his hard on that wouldn’t give him a break. He was desperately trying to concentrate on the conversation instead of his crotch that was begging for some attention. If she would just stop that damn giggling…and hair flipping…and smiling…and god why did he think of nothing but sex when she was around. It was so pointless. He was never going to be able to go there again.

He was in deep thought about the value of purchasing a tazer. He could just zap the hell out of himself whenever he thought about sex with Haley, and maybe…eventually…he’d stop thinking about it. Whatever, he could tazer his dick directly and it would still spring to attention every time he thought about her. He had a hopeless hard on for her. He always had, he always would.

Haley elbowed him. He startled to the touch. She nodded at the girls standing at the table smiling…apparently at him. He shook his head a bit trying to recover a clear thought.

“Can we get an autograph?” The one girl asked, apparently not for the first time.

“Oh…yeah…sure,” Nathan managed a smile taking the paper from her hand. “What’s your name?” He scribbled her name and some inane greeting followed by his own and handed it back with a smile. He did the same with the other girls. “Here you go.”

“Can we get a picture with you too?” She asked holding out her camera phone to Haley.

Haley gave the girl a tight smile. Biting off the annoyed sigh she slipped out of the booth so they could get closer for the pose with Nathan. He gave her an apologetic smile. The girls giggled with delight at the resulting picture as they giddily flit away.

“Sorry.”

“Not a problem.” Haley smiled trying to keep her appearance unfazed. She figured sticking her tongue out at the girls may appear immature, and flipping them off down right rude. She wondered what they’d think if they knew he was having a baby with some girl he didn’t care about…they’d still want to screw him, just like she pathetically wanted to. She was a groupie now. Terrific!

“Hey beautiful, find some new friends?” They all looked up to find a man of maybe thirty standing at the table. Average height and build, impeccably dressed, not a hair out of place, and a megawatt smile...a smile directed right at Haley.

“Hey Mitch,” she grinned jumping up to pull him into a hug. “I did find some friends. Some new, some old,” she said turning to introduce them. “This is Mark and Jason…they’re new. This is my friend Mitch.” There were polite greetings all around. “And this is Nathan Scott…he’s old,” Haley giggled. Nathan nodded giving Mitch’s hand a brief squeeze. His jaw was already set. “Mitch and I work together.”

“Scott…as in big daddy Scott?” Mitch questioned with a little chuckle.

“One and the same. Nathan is Dan’s son.”

“I thought I recognized the resemblance. Not to mention there’s several pictures of you in Dan’s office.” Nathan nodded again completely unimpressed. He couldn’t keep his eyes from drifting to the hand that this Mitch still had draped around Haley’s waist. “So how’d the rest of your day go sweetie?” Mitch focused back on Haley, his face a bit more serious now. “Court go alright?”

“It was fine,” Haley said with a reassuring smile. “I can see why she’s intimated by him, he’s a big man and a little scary sounding, but the judge gave us the restraining order no problem, and his lawyer was very cooperative. I think he can see the guys a jerk too. He tried to start something with me when we were walking down the hall, but his attorney grabbed him. He’s not going to make it easy for her to break away,” she sighed tiredly.

Nathan’s frown grew deeper as he listened to her talk. He was annoyed by Mitch now he was worried about Haley and whoever this person was that apparently attempted to threaten her today. “What happened Hales?” Nathan asked his voice filled with worry.

She held his eyes for a moment. She could see the concern behind his gaze. She could tell he wanted to help. His concern was sweet. “Oh it was nothing,” she scoffed reassuringly. “This divorce case. The husbands a nightmare that’s all. He keeps threatening his wife. Some people are just not nice,” she said with a little laugh. “It’s okay.”

”We were about to toast Amber’s engagement. Although for the life of me I can’t see why. That guy she’s marrying is going to have an affair within the first year mark my words,” Mitch assured. “If he hasn’t already,” he quickly added.

“Miiitch,” Haley dragged out. “Stop saying that. That’s not true. He’s very nice and Amber is crazy about him. They’ll live happily ever after.”

“Or until she finds out,” Mitch scoffed under his breath.

“I’ll come just to make sure you keep your big mouth shut,” she laughed. “It was nice to meet you guys,” she smiled to Mark and Jason. “And Mark I’ll get you that card.” Nathan’s eyes were still full of worry as she reached out to take his hand giving it a little squeeze. “Thanks for the drink. I’ll see you next week okay?”

He shook his head in agreement trying to return the smile as he returned the gentle squeeze. “Sure. Have fun.”

Jason smiled as he watched how absorbed Nathan was in Haley. He hadn’t heard a word he or Mark had said since she walked away. He’d even stopped with the mumbled ‘unhunh’s.

“He’s gay,” Jason repeated louder hoping to draw Nathan back. It worked.

“What?”

“Mitch. He’s gay.”

Nathan glanced back at Haley’s group. She and Mitch constantly had their heads together in giggled conversation. Mitch kept hugging her. He was unsuccessfully struggling with not letting it piss him off. She deserved to be happy. And Mitch seemed nice, but still…he desperately wanted to walk over there and cold cock the guy.

“Why do you think he’s gay?”

Jason shrugged. “At the risk of coming off like a prick…he sounds gay. He giggles. He…sashays when he walks. He’s in touch with his feelings, he called her sweetie,” Jason mocked with a chuckle. “I know…I sound like a homophobe. But don’t worry, he’s gay.”

Nathan scoffed. “Why would I be worried?” He scoffed again adding a chuckle for good measure.

Mark and Jason both laughed. “Because you’ve got the hots for your attorney. Cause you haven’t taken your eyes off her since she walked in the place. Cause you haven’t even noticed this bar is full of hot girls. About a third of which have sent you a look you have yet to notice much less return. Cause you’ve undressed her about a hundred times since she walked in. Cause you look like you want to take that Mitch guy out back and kick his ass cause he’s touching her. Cause….,” Mark tried to continue.

“Stop! God almighty stop already. I didn’t know I was that damn obvious. Jesus,” Nathan huffed in frustration.

“Ask her out,” Jason stated like it was the simplest thing in the world.

Nathan looked across at the two of them bemused. “Ask her out,” he repeated with a tired sigh. “You have no idea.”

Haley had walked away from the group with her phone pressed to her ear. A smile fell across her face as she talked on the phone for a few minutes before rejoining her friends. She glanced at her watch before continuing with her drink and conversation.

Not five minutes later her phone was once again pressed to her ear only her face was one big frown. Mitch was mumbling things to her and she kept swatting at him to hush. She plugged up her other ear in an attempt to hear better. She was talking more quickly as she fumbled with her purse trying to find a pen and something to write on. Mitch shook his head as he watched Haley scoot past the crowd and out the front door of the restaurant.

Nathan lifted the slat in the blinds to see where she was going. She’d left her purse. She paced a bit before she dropped on the bench outside and began to write on her paper. She closed her phone and then immediately opened it again. His brow furrowed deeper at her worried expression. He saw Mitch sit down beside her and drape an arm around her shoulders in support. Mitch hugged her closer when she finally hung up. He saw Haley wearily lay her head on his shoulder for a few seconds before giving him a confident smile that Mitch returned. Nathan couldn’t stand it another second.

“I’ll see you guys. Have a good weekend,” he said pushing himself from the booth.

Haley’s head twisted around in surprise when she heard his voice. “Hey…are you alright?” Nathan asked hesitantly as he slowly approached the pair.

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” Haley smiled. “Just work,” she shrugged holding up her phone. “No biggie.”

“Liar,” Mitch grumbled. “It’s that asshole she was talking about earlier…”

“Mitch be quiet,” she quickly tried to thwart him from revealing more.

“What about him?” Nathan tersely grumbled. “Haley?” he questioned further when Mitch clamped his mouth shut at Haley’s hard glare.

“I’m going in, you try,” Mitch huffed. “She’s got to get thicker skinned, she can’t let every case turn her inside out,” he mumbled to Nathan as he went past.

Nathan took over Mitch’s spot on the bench. He tried to catch her eyes that remained focused on anything but him. He went to put his arm around her shoulders, but dropped it back in his lap. She was already upset he didn’t need to add to it. “What is it Haley? Is everything alright? He didn’t…I don’t know threaten you or something like that did he?” He could feel the anger bubbling. This guy was going to severely regret anything even resembling a threat.

“Me? No…no of course not. His wife…now that’s a different story. She just called. He called her with lots of threats, starting with taking the kids and ending with killing her…”

“What! What the hell Haley…”

“That’s what restraining orders are for. Although, if he really wants to, no order’s going to stop him. The police are there now. He didn’t come, at least not yet. I called her sister, and her brother-in-law is on his way over to get her and her kids. Some people just suck beyond all imagination Nathan,” she quietly said finally looking his direction with a wane smile.

“Yeah…they do. I’m sorry you have to deal with low life’s like that Hales.” His arm was around her shoulders and he was hugging her to him before he could stop it this time. She relaxed gratefully into his embrace. It was all the comforting she needed. She felt completely safe. He wrapped his other arm around her as she laid her head on his shoulder letting him take away her cares if only for a moment. It felt right…it felt natural and normal, and familiar. It just felt good.

Even though he was comforting her, it felt the opposite. Having her face pressed against his shoulder, the relaxed sigh she’d just released, the way the silence spoke for them felt so right. It comforted him just as much if not more. To be able to be there for her even in the tiniest of ways felt right…no matter how wrong his head was telling him it was.

His content bubble was burst by the approaching voice. “Haley?” Her head lifted and a big smile filled her face. “Hey it is you. Look how hot you look,” the guy laughed when Haley jumped up to envelope him in a tight embrace. “Damn if you don’t look like a lawyer,” he laughed again.

“And you look like a vagabond,” she giggled while her fingers teasingly pulled at his shaggy brown hair and roughly rubbed over his very stubbled cheeks. “You’d think Europe didn’t have razors or barbers.”

“They don’t.” He smiled pulling back to give her a closer look. He cupped her face in his hands as he pushed a kiss to her lips. “It’s good to see you Haley.”

“Yeah, you too,” she grinned hugging him once more.

It was all Nathan could do to keep from loosing his food in the bushes. He stood up shoving his hands deep into his pockets where his fingers dug into his thighs. He shifted on his feet. He wanted to walk away or better yet run away, he wasn’t sure how much more he could take. His curiosity, or his male ego, or his need for self-torture wouldn’t let him. He had to know who he was.

“I’ll see you later Hales,” Nathan quietly spoke hoping to draw back some attention.

“Oh Nathan,” she turned back like she’d forgotten he was there. She hadn’t forgotten for one second. The whole scene was making her incredibly nervous. Her hands were shaking.

One part of her was worried he’d think something was going on, the other part worried he wouldn’t care if something was going on, and the third part wanted him to think something was going on and wanted the thoughts to drive him to the brink of insanity. That thought was by far the closest to his reality.

She lightly touched Nathan’s arm while her own remained stretched around her friend who had his own arm tightly wrapped around her waist. “Nathan this is Ryan Yates. We went to law school together. Ryan, Nathan Scott.”

No this is my ex-boyfriend, no this is my friend, no this is my client, no this is some asshole I used to know, just…Nathan Scott. Wow, so personal.

Ryan smiled shaking Nathan’s hand. Nathan managed a weak smile of his own. He searched Ryan’s face for a look of recognition. A ‘shit it’s her ex’ kind of drop to his face. There was nothing. He either was a hell of an actor, or he’d never heard of Nathan. It wasn’t a comforting thought. “Nice to meet you,” they both mumbled with equal disinterest.

“You give great directions Hales. Found you no problem.”

“Good. Ryan’s been traveling Europe since we graduated. He’s on his way to his job in Philadelphia right now. One more week of freedom right?”

“One more. I guess I’ll have to get a hair cut and shave before then,” he laughed hugging Haley tighter. “I can’t get over what a good looking lawyer you make. So professional and button down, I’m impressed. You’ll have every male in Charlotte trying to get you to represent them, and I’m going to be jealous as hell. Unless of course I can convince you in one night to run away to Philadelphia with me.”

“Oh stop. You’re a nut,” she giggled slapping at his chest. “I really thought you’d be in Philadelphia by now.”

“I probably should have been. Got hung up with my family and all their goodbyes. You’d think I was going off to war or something. I had to run through here and see you though. Thanks for letting me stay with you. It’ll give me a chance to show you my pictures. Got one with this hot Italian girl. It’ll be your turn to be jealous,” he laughed.

Nathan was about to gnaw through the inside of his cheek. He was surprised Haley hadn’t shot him the look for all the sighing he was doing. He wanted to wham this guy for touching her, for…god for freaking breathing the same air! He kissed her! And it sure as hell wasn’t the first time. He was staying with her! As in…staying with her! Fuck! Yeah…exactly that. He was quite literally feeling nauseous.

“Hey Hales, I gotta go. It was nice to meet you Ryan. Have a good weekend,” Nathan quickly rambled off as he gave Haley a light pat on the arm and briskly took off across the street toward his car before she could get anything other than a faint ‘bye’ out.

He glanced back over his shoulder once he felt a safe distance away to see them going back into the restaurant with their arms still draped around each other. He sucked in long deep breaths trying to calm his nerves and his queasy stomach. Get used to it he tried to preach to himself. It’s your own fault. She deserved a happy life. She deserved a nice guy who didn’t have a butt load of baggage, not to mention a baby bag, dragging her down. He should be happy for her. And some day maybe he would, but right now, it wasn’t close to happening.

Haley rolled over and flipped off the lamp. It had been an exhausting day. Work was stressful, making idle chitchat with Nathan was stressful, sitting next to him was beyond stressful. And then Ryan. Nathan was polite to him. No hateful glares, no jaw clenching, no smart ass comments. She should have been relieved, but found herself disappointed. Maybe he was maturing. He had a baby on the way, and he realized he had a lot more important priorities than her. That was good. It should be that way. Still, it was disappointing, it hurt a little. It hurt a lot actually.

She had a hard time concentrating on Ryan and his stories. Ryan was a great guy. He didn’t have baggage, no babies on the way. No crazy women always trying to get in his pants. Or him theirs. It should have been easy to get lost in the long kisses they’d shared that night. Get lost in his hands that searched her body. She should have, but she couldn’t. He politely left her with a long tongue swapping kiss at her bedroom door before he climbed into the couch bed disappointed.

Ryan knew there always seemed to be this invisible wall between them; he just didn’t know what it was or how to knock it down. He’d keep calling, he’d try to keep visiting, and maybe she’d realize she missed him like he knew he was going to miss her, like he’d already missed her. Haley was too great a girl to just let go without extra effort.

If he flipped his phone open and closed one more time he was going to break it. He dropped it aside and picked up his nerf ball again tossing it in the air above his head over and over. He wasn’t going to call and wake her…or interrupt things…no matter how desperately he wanted to.

He’d been in bed for two hours and had yet to close his eyes. He knew if he did he’d immediately see Haley…and Ryan…and they’d be doing something he didn’t want to see.

He went to his little kitchen and poured himself another drink. He even dropped a couple of ice cubes in it this time. He swirled the brown liquid round and round the glass. He leaned back against the counter legs crossed in front of him examining the contents. The drinking’s not making you less miserable it making you more. He took one long swallow. He grimaced slightly, the first few always burned. He swallowed down another long drink. He sighed. He knew how truly pitiful it made him. Drinking alone in the middle of the night while he pined for some girl he’d never have again because of his own stupidity. He eyed the liquid a little harder. It numbed things, but somehow it never made anything go away. “You got a kid to think about now,” he grumbled as he tipped the glass and watched the contents disappear down the sink. He stared after it with one long sigh. “You better figure out how to get the wheels back on yourself man…she’s moved on.” He set the glass on the counter and shuffled back to bed.

Chapters 29 - 32

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