Almost There and Back Again

by Nancy

Chapter 21

Haley got up extra early. She wasn’t going to miss class again. Even if she had to barf her way across campus, she wasn’t going to miss. And she wasn’t going to go looking like hell again either. She may have felt like hell, but she hoped there was enough make-up in her bag to cover the circles and puffiness. She slipped into a pair of jeans and a tank top, brushing her hair into a low ponytail. She gave herself another glance in the mirror. ….Not horrible.

The light snoring reached her ears the minute she opened the bedroom door. Nathan looked entirely uncomfortable. He was still completely dressed in the same clothes as the previous night, shoes included. He was curled in a tight ball on the couch, his arms crossed around himself, a pillow from the couch tucked under his head and no blanket. He looked miserably cold.

Haley barely gave him a glance as she moved into the kitchen to make herself a cup of herbal tea. It was the only thing she found so far that seemed to help her queasy stomach, which she already felt beginning to form. Her head was starting to hurt, the mild sweats were coming, her stomach was churning. Just another day in paradise she thought ruefully.

She looked at the clock. This was the very reason she’d gotten up early. She still had plenty of time before she needed to leave. She hoped against hope the sickness would come, and ease, before she had to go. Nathan had a class too…he could get his own butt up she thought as she sat at the table dunking her tea bag over and over in the hot water waiting for the inevitable dash to the bathroom.

He was startled awake by the loud twilling of Haley’s phone on the counter. He started to sit up, but thought better of it when his pounding head forced him back down with a low groan. He ran his hands deeply into his scalp trying to massage away the throbbing pain. He hadn’t had a hangover like this is in ages. He wanted so badly to scream ‘answer the damn phone’, but even in his muddled state he knew better.

He saw Haley through his barely slit eyes come out of the kitchen to pick up her phone. Unfortunately, she didn’t want to talk to whoever it was because she set it back down unanswered. The ringing continued as his head pound harder.

It was Dan. He and Haley talked briefly a month or so back about her working for him again this summer. She told him she wasn’t sure. Depended on where Nathan got drafted, should she go with him right away, should she work the summer then go, should she…all that was way before pregnancy reared its ugly head. Dan didn’t know anything, and she wasn’t about to be the one to spring that little surprise on him. She let it ring.

He finally found the energy to push himself to an upright position. He held his head in his hand massaging it harder. It wasn’t working. He squinted trying to get the clock in focus. “Damn it,” he cursed quietly when he saw the time. He was in desperate need of a shower. He had class. “Damn,” he said again gingerly easing up from the couch shuffling into the kitchen.

Her head was lying on the kitchen table. It had become a ritual since the first day of morning sickness. The coolness of the furniture seemed to help with the headache which trickled down to help the stomach. His brow furrowed in concern as he saw her lying there. Morning sickness was just words to him. He had yet to witness it.

“You alright?” he groggily asked rubbing a hand softly over her shoulders.

“Not really,” she mumbled against the table top.

He sighed giving her shoulder a light squeeze. Opening the cabinet he popped the top off the Advil, dumping several into his palm. He washed them down with several glasses of water before reaching into the refrigerator for the orange juice. He set the carton on the table grabbing the loaf of bread out of the pantry as he took up the chair across from hers.

She never lifted her head.

He took a piece of bread from the loaf eating it plain. He wolfed down another while pouring his juice. He kept a wary eye on her. She wasn’t budging. He was beginning to seriously worry.

“Hales…baby you want some of this Advil? Does your head hurt?”

“Everything hurts,” she groaned turning to lay the other side of her face on the table. She nudged the bottle of Advil back across the table toward him. “I don’t know what I can and can’t take so keep it,” she muttered further.

What difference does it make he thought, but didn’t consider verbalizing those thoughts. “Can I get you something to eat?”

“Not unless you want to watch me throw it up.”

“Yeah…sorry,” he said with a heavy sigh. He couldn’t stand seeing her so miserable. Especially when he couldn’t help. Especially when he felt responsible.

He thought maybe she’d fallen asleep she was lying so still. She was just riding out the nausea wave, hoping if she kept perfectly still the wave would pass instead of bowling right over her. So far it was working. He jumped when she blew out a long breath. She slowly raised her head resting it in her hand. She peeked one eye open at the clock. Whew…she still had a little time.

Shaking his head frustrated he got up to put the bread and juice away. His head was pounding unmercifully. His stomach didn’t feel so hot either. He’d managed to make both of them sick he thought totally disgusted with himself.

He moved behind her chair gently massaging her neck and shoulders. “I’m sorry Haley. I hate that it’s making you feel so bad.” He bent down leaving a light kiss on her cheek; wrapping his arm around the front of her shoulders he gave her a tight squeeze.

“Don’t do that,” she bit out harshly shaking him off. “You still reek of your little whore so get away. Which reminds me…” She shoved her chair back, knocking it hard into his legs. She dragged out of the chair, reaching under the kitchen sink she snatched up the bottle of Febreeze. “I’m sure you contaminated the couch,” she quipped as she went back into the living room to drown out the smell she was certain had taken over their couch.

He bit at the inside of his cheeks rolling his eyes with a quiet sigh after she passed by him. He knew he deserved it. He leaned in the doorway watching her spray down the couch. He was at a loss as to what to say to make it better right now. She was in no mood to listen anyway. “I’m going to go take a shower.”

“Yeah, you do that. You might want to grab the scrub brush out from under the sink. It’ll take some major scrubbing to get that cheap stinky shit out of your skin.” He kept walking.

He couldn’t get the water hot enough to suit him. If he thought he could burn the pain out of his head he was mistaken. The medicine had helped a bit, but it was still throbbing. He washed and rewashed. He looked at Haley’s soap…no that was going too far he thought setting it back down. He did use her shampoo. He inhaled deeply before dumping a glob in his hand. He’d smell like apple candy all day. He couldn’t help but smile at the scent.

“God my head’s killing me,” he moaned to his reflection as he slapped a small dab of cologne on his freshly shaved face. He put his toothbrush up trying to do something with his hair when Haley barreled through the door.

“Get out get out!” she shouted frantically. Nathan fell back against the sink trying to dodge her panicked motions. She gave him a hard shove in the back, slamming the door behind him.

“Jesus,” he sighed heavily as he heard her gagging behind the bathroom door.

After getting dressed he sat on the edge of the bed impatiently waiting for her. She was still wiping the dampness from her face when she opened the door. She looked completely drained. He was starting to realize the physical toll it was taking on her. And it was just the beginning.

He tried to hold her eyes when she submitted to glancing his way. She saw the worry, the guilt, the anxiety etched across his face.

“I’m okay,” she quietly answered his silent question. “I have to get to class.” She pushed her ring on her pinkie and threw her purse over her shoulder moving out the door.

“Can I walk with you?” he asked hopefully from the hallway. He wasn’t above groveling. He couldn’t take the wall between them.

She turned back after gathering up her bag. “I guess,” she shrugged pausing at the door for him to catch up.

“Thanks. Sorry I’m starved,” he said when she gave him an aggravated glare as she waited for him to grab an apple out of the refrigerator. Rolling her eyes when he went back to grab up a banana too. He quickly tossed the peeling into the trash can. He had to bite hard on his lip to keep away the smile when he glanced down at the trash to see the shirt he’d worn last night laying in a heap at the top of the trash. Guess that’s one less thing to wash he thought with an inward chuckle.

It took two blocks before he got up enough nerve to reach for her hand. She glanced briefly at him, but didn’t pull away. She interlaced their fingers.

They’d made it halfway across campus. “I have to sit down,” she blew out quickly hustling over to a bench under a huge oak tree. No one was on the bench, only a few people were scattered about the grass nearby. Some laid back day dreaming, others engrossed in their studies.

She bent over putting her head between her hands taking long deep breaths. Periodically dabbing at the sweat she felt forming on her forehead. She drew a few curious glances. Nathan quietly sat down beside her rubbing softly over her back.

“I’m okay now,” she sighed raising her head blowing a short breath. She pushed the stray hair from her face, tugging her ponytail tighter.

“You sure?” He continued to rub her back. She shook her head standing to go.

They finally made it to her building with five minutes to spare. Haley rolled her eyes at the way Nathan’s grip tightened when he saw Matt jogging up the stairs ahead of them. If he wanted me before, he sure as hell doesn’t now she grumped to herself.

“See you later.” He wouldn’t let her release his hand. She could feel the tears forming. She didn’t want to look at him, but he refused to let go. He took his finger gently lifting her face holding it until she submitted to letting her eyes drift to meet his. He shook his head with a quiet sigh when he saw the tears about to spill over.

“C’mere Hales.” He took her hand leading her down the sidewalk to a short brick wall that surrounded the front of the building. He sat on the wall pulling her onto his lap. Her head instantly fell to his shoulder, her arm wrapped tightly around his neck as her own shoulders shook with the tears that finally started. “I love you Pinky,” he whispered into her hair as he stroked over her head. “I love you.”

She pulled away after a couple of minutes still trying to choke back tears. “I have to go.” She fumbled with her purse trying to find a tissue. He took it from her dabbing lightly at her wet cheeks and under her eyes. His sweetness almost caused a new wave of tears.

“Look at me Hales…please,” he asked, patiently waiting for her to turn her eyes to his. “I love you. I promise you…I swear to you…I didn’t do anything with her. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. I love you. I was wrong to go out and get drunk like that okay. It was stupid. I’m sorry. Believe me…you have no idea how sorry I am. My heads killing me,” he said, his smirk growing when he saw her small smile. “You’re happy about that huh?” he chuckled. “I’m sorry you feel so bad too. I can’t stand watching you struggle to get through,” he sighed looking down. He drew a deep breath before holding her eyes again. “I’m sorry for yelling at you like I did too. I was a complete jerk. I know this is hard on you Hales. I…I can see it’s a million times harder on you than it is me. I’m ready to talk about it when you are okay. I promise I won’t fly off the handle. I’ll listen to your side…I will. Just…I don’t know, listen to my side too okay? We’ll figure it out. More than anything…more than anything, I want you Haley. I want you no matter what,” he smiled hugging her tightly into his chest. “You better get going. You don’t want to be late.” He laid a soft kiss on her cheek helping her up off his lap.

She held his hands in hers looking deeply into his eyes. She had to bite hard on her lip to stave off more tears. “I love you,” she whispered as she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. “I love you,” she repeated quickly with a light kiss to his cheek. “I’ll see you later.”

It was an afterthought…or maybe it was forethought, a premonition. She wasn’t sure. She was just covering her butt she convinced herself when she hit the print button and the law school application started printing. Quickly scanning the requirements she saw it was the same as everybody else. A royal pain in the rear. She put a paper clip on it and tucked it away in her folder. Just in case she told herself.

The whole process was beginning to grate on her. Trent had told Nathan to expect Seattle or Boston, but not to rule out Chicago now. She had a list of law schools in each of the cities. Some schools were definitely more appealing than others. She had to narrow it down. The application process was brutal. Too many forms, and letters, and transcripts, and recommendations, etc., etc., and everyone wanted a stupid fee. You have to send them money to be turned down. What a rip off she griped.

Harvard. Yeah, like I’m really gonna’ get in there she scoffed. She continued with the application anyway. “Maybe I should send them a video application in a bikini like that chick in Legally Blonde,” she giggled aloud. “Better do it quick James before your gut starts growing,” she sighed heavily.

All the necessary pieces were spread neatly on the table in the little room in the back of the library she’d been occupying for the last three hours filling out forms. Harvard…whatever, she puffed hitting the print button.

One letter, one transcript, one blah, one blah, one blah she groaned picking up one from each stack. She signed her letter before setting it on the top of the stack, and placing all of it carefully in an envelope. That was enough for today.

She sealed the envelopes and placed the stamps neatly in the corner. She gathered up her things placing them carefully in a folder. She’d completed three today adding those envelopes to the one she completed last night. God knows what it looked like she thought shaking her head as she stared hard at the envelope wondering if she remembered to put everything in there last night. Probably not, her mind was far from clear then.

“Here goes nothing.” She pulled down the door and dropped the envelopes in the mailbox.

“Talking to yourself?” Haley jumped at the unexpected voice.

“God Peyton, you scared the crap out of me!”

“And I was just worried about interrupting your conversation,” Peyton laughed looping her arm through Haley’s. “What’s up?”

“I just sent off four law school applications. They’re a major hassle. They want an unbelievable amount of crap. So overblown it’s unreal.”

“How do you know where to send them? I mean with Nathan’s future kind of up in the air and all or…”

“His agent thinks he pretty much has it down to three places so I’m sending them to schools in those cities. I hope to heck he knows what he’s talking about.”

“If he’s the same guy Lucas has he’s kind of a…cheeseball. All smiles and grins and happy, happy, happy,” Peyton bubbled out. “Bleech.”

“That would be him,” Haley laughed.

“How’s the baby business?” Peyton smiled pulling Haley into the student union with her. “Come on, I’m starved. The food sucks, but Brooke and I haven’t been to the store in a week. I’m desperate.”

Haley ignored the question. Peyton was off on food now, maybe she’d forget.

“So, what’s the scoop on the baby?” she asked again when they’d settled on a table. “You don’t need all those fries,” she smiled grabbing a handful of Haley’s.

Haley shrugged, concentrating on putting her sandwich together. She tossed the mushy tomato aside.

“What’s,” Peyton asked imitating Haley’s shrug, “that mean?”

“I don’t know,” Haley sighed quietly.

“Nathan still panicking?”

Haley sighed again. “No…I am.” She pushed her sandwich aside, raking her hand tiredly through her hair.

“You need to try and eat a little something Haley,” Peyton suggested softly, pushing the sandwich back toward her. “Having second thoughts?”

Haley’s eyes shot up at her words. “Why would you say that?”

“I don’t know,” Peyton shrugged. “Seems…I don’t know…like a normal reaction I guess. It’s a big step…a huge step...an enormous step. It’s not surprising if you are.” She stuffed another ketchup laden fry in her mouth.

“I don’t know Peyton,” she sighed deeply. “Part of me wants to have it. I mean I love Nathan. I want to have kids with him, I really do, but another part of me keeps saying it’s not the right time. I have so much school left. Hard school. Probably much harder than what I’ve done the last four years. I’m just so afraid I can’t handle it all. School, Nathan and a baby. That’s a ton of responsibility I’m not at all sure I’m ready for.”

“I can see that,” Peyton easily agreed. “But you have to seriously ask yourself Haley…can you deal with the alternative? I mean years down the road. Are you always going to wonder what if? What would it have been, what would it be like? Would it look like me…or Nathan? Would it be sweet like me or an ass like Nathan?” Peyton said with a small smile. Haley wasn’t appreciating the effort at humor.

“I mean I don’t know. Maybe everybody who has an abortion has those thoughts. I don’t know. I’m sure most probably accept their decision as what was best at the time and go on, but I’m sure there are plenty who have those nagging thoughts, who deeply wish they could do it over, and live in constant regret. You don’t want that Hales. Be sure. There’re no do overs.”

“Yeah…don’t I know it.”

“What’s Nathan think?”

Haley shook her head frustratingly. She picked at the bread before pinching off a piece and nibbling at it.

“He’s not the least bit in favor of it. We’ve…we’ve kind of been fighting over it actually. I told him what I was thinking yesterday morning, and he stormed off. He finally came staggering in around midnight drunk, not to mention…he…he smelled like perfume and had lipstick on his cheek. So...”

“He what!” Peyton blew out. “That sorry ass son of a bitch! I’m going to kill him! Where is he?” She was practically screaming as she slammed her chair back.

“Shhh! Sit down sit down,” Haley harshly muttered waving Peyton back into the chair as she kept her head lowered dodging all the stares being thrown their way.

“I hope you threw his ass out!” Peyton barked jerking her chair back to the table.

“No I didn’t throw his ass out. He said a girl came on to him in the bar, but he didn’t do anything with her,” Haley shrugged dejectedly.

“Do you believe him?”

She shrugged again. Peyton could see the tears welling up as Haley glanced at her. “Yeah…I believe him,” she said quietly.

“It doesn’t sound like it Haley.”

“No…I do, I believe him. It’s just…Nathan’s a bad liar you know. He kind of darts his eyes and scratches at his head. I can always tell when he’s skirting the truth. It’s just a little weird this time. I don’t know what it is… It’s almost like he didn’t…but he wanted to, and that’s scary. Especially now.” She threw her napkin on the table as she fell back against her chair, her arms folding across herself. “I don’t know.”

“Far be it for me to defend jackass,” Peyton huffed completely annoyed, “but he was drunk. He probably did think about it. He’s a guy. He thinks with the brain between his legs most of the time,” she scoffed. “I guess they all think about it Haley. I’m sure Jake’s given it more than a passing thought from time to time…the sorry bastard,” she grumped out, pissed off at the whole idea, “but…if he didn’t, he didn’t, and that should be the most important thing. Supposedly…although - I’m thinking a swift knee to the nuts is still in order.”

Haley couldn’t help the giggle. “I seriously thought about that,” she said with a laugh.

“Eat,” Peyton smiled digging into the fries again.

Haley definitely felt more energetic after eating. Listening to Peyton babble on about one thing, and then another, helped her momentarily get her mind off her own problems.

Peyton paused drawing Haley into a tight hug before they went opposite directions. “You need a break,” she smiled holding her hands tightly in hers.

“I need a nap actually,” Haley smiled.

“I’m going to Tree Hill this weekend to get my dad’s truck. He’s going to come up in a couple of weeks with my car and take the truck and my stuff back. I need to try and get rid of some of my crap now so I don’t have so much when schools out. Brooke and I have acquired so much junk it’s unreal. Although…I’m pretty sure Brooke has way more junk than me…but anyway…why don’t you go with me. A couple of days away from here…from Nathan, would do you some good Haley,” she gently coaxed.

“I don’t know Peyton,” Haley hedged. “I feel like crap every morning, and Nathan and I have so much unresolved, it’s really not a good time.”

“You can feel bad in Tree Hill just as easily as here. My dad’s not going to be there so it’ll just be us girls. We can bring Brooke…or not,” she laughed. “You need a little time to yourself to think Haley,” she added gently. “Please.”

Haley smiled gratefully. “Okay.”

“Great! I’ll call you later with details,” Peyton grinned with another hug. “Later.”

Haley smiled back. Maybe it would help…sure couldn’t hurt. Nathan wasn’t going to like it; she grimaced at the thought of telling him.

It took three gyms, but she finally found him. A gopher trainer helping him chase balls, passing him balls. She leaned against the wall watching. Her arms were folded across her chest, her face registering a prominent glower. It took several minutes for him to notice her. He gave her a befuddled glance.

What the hell is she doing here…and what the hell is she so pissed about he thought giving her a longer look this time.

“Take a break. I’ll be back,” he mumbled to his helper. He walked apprehensively to where Peyton stood holding up the wall.

“Hey.” She didn’t respond. Her facial expression said it all.

“Do I get a clue?” he huffed getting irritated with her silence.

“I just had a little late lunch with Haley.”

“Good. Did she eat anything?” he asked sincerely concerned. Peyton shook her head. “Good,” he said again.

Peyton continued to glare at him. He was searching her eyes for something…some hint of what was the problem.

“Okay. You win. Uncle,” he puffed with frustration.

“Did you?”

His eyebrows knitted together in complete confusion. “Did I what?”

Peyton cocked her eyebrow at him with a heavy sigh as her arms tightened around herself.

She wasn’t going to give him more. He held her eyes trying to put it together…Haley…lunch…

“No,” he sighed rolling his eyes aggravated when it dawned on him. “Does she think I did?” he asked his voice tinged with a slight panic. “Because I tried to tell her last night I didn’t, and again this morning...”

“Oh I think she believes you. But I think she’s worried you wanted to or that you’re going to. Did you?” she asked.

“Peyton…”

“Nathan…don’t shit me Nathan! Did you or didn’t you!”

“No Peyton! I didn’t do anything. Did I want to…No! Did I think about like…I don’t know, kissing her or something…Yes, I did, and I feel guilty as shit about it, but she was all over me Peyton. I’d have to be a freakin’ saint not to have thought about it. I know it’s not an excuse, but I was drunk as hell. But no I didn’t want to...to do her, if that’s what you’re asking. I didn’t want her okay. I did not kiss her. I did not touch her. Did I check her out…yeah I guess I did. Her damn…tits were practically hanging out. She was workin’ it pretty hard. But I love Haley. I wouldn’t cheat on her Peyton. I love her. I’m not going to jeopardize that, especially not now. I’m an ass, but I’m not quite the ass you seem to think I am Peyton. I love her.”

“You better be telling the truth,” she snarled holding his eyes in a tight lock.

“I am. I swear to God I am.”

“Alright,” she said finally releasing her glare. She started to walk away, stopping a few feet from the door. “I invited her to go to Tree Hill with me this weekend. She needs a break from all of this. From you. Don’t give her a hard time about it,” she finished disappearing out the door before he could say anything in response.

He sighed with a long hard breath before shaking his head going back to shooting baskets.

By the time he finished his workout and dragged home it was near dinner time. He made a quick run by the Italian restaurant a few blocks off campus that Haley loved. He got three different options hoping one of them would appeal to her unsettled stomach.

The apartment was silent. He knew she was there, her things were lying in the chair, her favorite cinnamon spice candle was burning on the coffee table. He set the food on the counter and grabbed a bottle of Gatorade, moving unsurely toward the bedroom.

He smiled when he saw her curled on her side under a throw blanket, her book lying open on the floor where it had probably fallen from the bed. Her face looked tired, but at complete peace as she steadily breathed in and out.

With one more long gulp of his drink he slipped his shoes off and eased on the bed next to her. She didn’t flinch. He rested on his elbow watching her sleep. He couldn’t help but smile at the thoughts that ran through his head. Even he thought…I’m such a damn guy. As beautiful and peaceful as she looked lying next to him sleeping, as much as they were going through, as much upheaval as there had been between them in the last twenty-four hours, he still wished she was sleeping…naked. He rolled his eyes at himself. Don’t even think about going there he quickly warned himself.

The smile only grew as he moved his body tightly into her back. He reached around her small body and tugged her back into the warmth of his chest. He placed a light kiss on her head before resting his head on the pillow next to hers closing his eyes. Even if she did have clothes on, he was in heaven.

Her hand wrapped over the one he had around her as she nestled her back more firmly into him. She reached up gently rubbing her hand over his head before settling it back over his and drifting back to sleep.

By the time she woke again the room was bathed in darkness. Nathan was still pressed into her, his arms still held her close as his breaths blew warm against her neck. She sighed contently. Gently lifting his arm she tried to silently slide out from under his grasp. “Where’re you going?” he mumbled into the pillow grabbing hold of the hem of her shirt.

“Bathroom, kitchen…I can smell the candle, I need to go make sure the living room hasn’t gone up in flames,” she said turning to face him.

“I brought some dinner.”

“Oh yeah…what?” It was her turn to cook, she was grateful for the reprieve.

“Italian. I wasn’t sure what you could handle so I brought a variety.” He rubbed gently up and down her back.

“Thanks, I’m starved. You better come if you want some because I can’t promise they’ll be anything left when I’m done.” She gave him a small smile, patting his leg before padding off for the kitchen.

He was growing weary of the silence. He normally preferred it quiet, but that was when it was normal quiet not this…edgy quiet.

“So how was the rest of your day?” He gave in. If she wouldn’t talk, he figured he’d give it a whirl.

“Pretty good,” she offered between bites. “I umm, I sent off some law school applications.”

“Really?” he smiled genuinely pleased. “I hope Harvard was one of them.”

She rolled her eyes; he always had way more confidence in her than she did. “Yeah, Harvard was one of them. I had a passing thought of sending them an application video like the girl in Legally Blonde,” she giggled lightly.

He chuckled. “You in a sparkly bikini…I can totally see that. You’d get right in Hales.”

“I don’t know about that. I opted for the standard forms just in case.”

“I’m just glad you sent it.” He smiled reaching across the table to take one of her hands. “I’m sorry everything’s so up in the air. The draft can’t get here soon enough to suit me. At least we’ll know where we’re going.”

She gave him a little smile glancing away. She bit lightly at her lip as she pushed the food around her plate. “I…umm…uh…Peyton asked me to go to Tree Hill with her this weekend, and umm…I’m going to go,” she finished confidently, barely peeking up to glance at him. He continued to eat.

“Okay,” he shrugged. Her brow furrowed in confusion, staring hard at his bowed head as he kept eating. She drew in a sharp breath to argue with him, but snapped her mouth shut when what he’d said registered in her brain.

“Well…okay then.” She pushed her chair back gathering up dirty dishes. She glanced back over her shoulder at him as she walked away shaking her head at his agreeability.

If he threw the dart any harder it wasn’t going to come out of the board. Lucas was wondering whose picture he was imagining was pinned to it.

“Is it Dan?” Lucas chuckled bracing a hand against the wall as he jerked hard to pull the dart out.

“Is who Dan?” Nathan scowled taking a long drink from his water.

“Is that whose face you’re picturing on the dart board? And what’s with all the water?”

“No, it’s not Dan. It’s probably me. And I don’t need the booze. I got blitzed last night, and I’m still recovering,” he sighed slinging another dart toward the wall.

Lucas waved him to the table when the waitress showed up with another beer along with the wings he ordered to go with it.

“Talk,” Lucas mumbled between bites.

“About?” Nathan grumbled grabbing up a wing.

“Why you’re throwing at you, why you’re getting blitzed…why you didn’t order your own damn wings,” he huffed quickly tossing a few on his plate before Nathan could get them all.

“I don’t know. Things have turned to crap the last couple of days. Haley…Haley thinks she wants to have an abortion. Yeah…that’s what I thought,” he sighed when Lucas paused mid bite, staring astonished across the table at him. “I was pissed and went out and got wasted off my ass last night. Some girl was hanging on me in the bar so I came home smelling like a French whore, which, as you can imagine, went over great. I’m lucky she’s even talking to me. Which I guess technically she isn’t since she went to Tree Hill with Peyton for the weekend. Mostly to get away from me I’m sure. Shit,” he muttered. He dropped heavily against the booth wiping at his fingers still shaking his head.

Lucas dropped back against the booth himself staring annoyed at his brother. “Could ya feel anymore sorry for yourself there Nate?”

“Excuse me?” Nathan bit back.

“Get over yourself. Yeah the abortion talks a little disturbing…actually a lot disturbing I admit, but damn Nathan try thinking about things from Haley’s side. Having a baby, that’s huge man. Huge.”

“I’ll be there for her Lucas. It’s not like she’s in this alone you know.”

“Look…I’m not going to sit here and pretend I know how you feel alright. Thank God, I don’t know how you feel,” he said with a slight smile. “With or without you this is going to be a lot harder on her than it is you. Think about it…reasonably. She’s the one getting the morning sickness; she has to carry the thing. Hell, as small as Haley is she’s going to look like a beach ball before it’s over. Sorry,” he shrugged impishly at Nathan’s hard glare.

“She’s the one still going to school. Hard school. Yeah, you’ll be there to help…when you’re home. Not to mention you know zero about babies so there’s a huge learning curve there,” Lucas chuckled. “Stinky diapers…doesn’t that sound great?”

Nathan rolled his eyes continuing to aggravatingly tear at his napkin.

“So what…we’re just supposed to get rid of it ‘cause it’s inconvenient? We wouldn’t be here if everybody thought like that Lucas.”

“And don’t think for a minute either one of our mothers didn’t give it serious consideration. They wouldn’t be human if they didn’t.”

“But they didn’t do it,” Nathan reminded somberly.

“And maybe Haley won’t either. You’ve told her how you feel. Let her work it out in her own mind Nathan. ‘Cause in the end, she’s the one that has to live with a decision like that for the rest of her life. Yeah, I know you’ll be losing a child too, but knowing Haley, she’s going to lose a part of herself. A part she’ll never recover if she doesn’t have you there to support her,” Lucas quietly tried reasoning.

Nathan released a long sigh, shaking his head as he bit at his lips. “I can’t Lucas. I can’t support this. I…I just can’t.”

Lucas let out his own long breath, rubbing a tired hand over his head. He stared hard at Nathan’s frustrated and worried face.

“Then you better be prepared to call it quits Nathan. Because it’s inevitable if you can’t. You might want to think about it again.”

Peyton went into the living room to find Haley curled in a tight ball on the couch. Cartoons were playing on the television.

“I didn’t know the Smurfs were still on,” Peyton laughed taking up the space at the end of the couch, setting her tea on the table before digging a handful of Crunch Berries out of the box.

“I didn’t either,” Haley mumbled. “I couldn’t find the remote. I think the Disney channel has That’s So Raven on at this time on Saturday.”

“That’s So Raven? You know what time they show That’s So Raven?” Peyton asked trying to sound incredulous, but finding it amusing that intellectual Haley would intentionally seek out That’s So Raven.

”Nathan likes it too,” she defended.

“Well…there ya go,” Peyton scoffed. “Case closed.”

Haley turned her irritated face toward her. “It’s funny,” she huffed flopping her head back on the pillow. “Mark my words, that girl’s the next Lucille Ball.”

“Yeah…I can totally see that,” Peyton laughed. “You want some tea or coffee or a little bite to eat?”

“Tea would be good. Maybe a piece of dry toast. I actually feel halfway decent so far. I was pretty queasy earlier, but it passed so I think I’ll try something. Thanks,” she smiled snuggling tighter under the quilt.

Haley didn’t know if she was laughing harder at Peyton laughing at the show or the show itself.

“See, I told you it was funny.”

“Stupid. Totally stupid, but yeah it’s funny,” Peyton laughed again.

“I could use a Raven vision right about now,” Haley sighed trying to straighten her wild hair as she pushed herself upright.

Peyton bolted straight up staring rigid and wide eyed across the room. “I’m having one,” she gritted trying hard not to laugh. Haley couldn’t hold back the giggles.

“Tell me tell me…what do you see Peyton?” Haley excitedly played along.

“I see…shopping,” she gasped out, “…me in a new pair of jeans and at least…three new shirts...and something under my arm…oh, I think it’s a new album. And…oh…I see us…we’re…we’re sitting at Karen’s eating big greasy burgers. And you’re not throwing it up,” she finished falling on the floor rolling with laughter.

“You’re so dumb,” Haley laughed loudly, kicking Peyton in the butt.

“There’s more,” Peyton squealed quickly sitting up bug eyed again. “You…you…in the shower…because you look like hell,” she said breaking down again.

“Well I hope you only see the shower curtain,” Haley giggled, “and not me in the actual shower ‘cause that’s kind of gross.”

Haley managed to get by with only a couple of shirts and a couple pair of fancier than normal flip flops, but Peyton had a bagful of things. She couldn’t resist the sales. They both laughed at how jealous Brooke was going to be that she missed it. They split the cost of a shirt and matching earrings for her just to keep Brooke from throwing a complete hissy fit.

Haley made Peyton call Karen’s before they left the house to make sure Deb wasn’t there. They both smiled when Karen told them Deb and Dan had gone to Hilton Head for the weekend to golf. Haley was more than relieved. She could stop peeking around street corners afraid she’d bump into one of them.

“Hey girls it’s so good to see you,” Karen beamed pulling them both into tight hugs. “Have a seat. Anything you want, on the house. I’ll be back in minute,” she said giving them both brisk rubs on the back as she handed them menus and hurried off to the back room.

“Remember, I saw greasy burgers,” Peyton chuckled from behind her menu.

“That actually sounds disgustingly good. Although, I’ve eaten Karen’s burgers before, they’re not really that greasy.”

“Oh well. We must have been eating somewhere else then,” Peyton shrugged.

Haley gnawed at her lip as she watched the waitress out of the corner of her eye. She rolled her eyes; surely Peyton didn’t set this up. She couldn’t have been more than sixteen, seventeen tops, and she had to be at least six months pregnant. Great, she thought blowing out a light breath concentrating hard out the window.

Peyton glanced hesitantly at Haley, giving her a light knowing smile when Haley’s eyes met hers as she finally turned back when she heard Karen approaching.

“All cleared up,” Karen smiled pulling up a chair to sit with them. “So what brings you men less ladies to town?”

“I came to swap my car for my Dad’s truck. He’s going to swap back in a couple of weeks. Bring back some of the junk I’ve managed to acquire the last couple of years. I’m not sure even a U-Haul could hold it all.”

“I can imagine. I think I’m going to let Keith handle Lucas’ junk. On second thought, Lucas can handle his own junk. He’s about to become mister money bags he can take care of his own junk by golly,” Karen insisted as they all laughed.

“So what about you and Nathan, Haley? This uncertainty kind of makes finding a law school a little more of a challenge I would think.”

“Yeah, a little bit,” Haley agreed with a small smile. “The draft’s coming up pretty soon so I guess it shouldn’t be much longer. I’ve sent a few to some of the places Nathan’s agent seems to think are most likely.”

“Trent?” Karen asked rolling her eyes amused.

“Yeah,” Haley easily laughed.

“He’s a piece of work isn’t he?” Karen chuckled. “You should hear Keith imitate him. Not that I condone mocking people, but…it really is funny.”

“I’m going to join you two if you don’t mind,” Karen said when the waitress brought over a tray of food to the table. “I’ve been going non-stop all morning.”

“That’ll be great,” Peyton happily agreed.

“Kimberly, this is Peyton and Haley. They’re friends of my sons. Actually Haley is dating…dating, that just doesn’t seem to cover it does it,” Karen laughed. If you only knew Haley thought with a wry smile. “Anyway, Haley dates Lucas’ brother actually, and Peyton is his cousin. And anyway…ladies this is Kimberly. She’s been with me for about three months now right? And she does a spectacular job,” Karen smiled giving Kimberly a sweet smile and a soft pat on the back.

“Nice to meet you,” Kimberly cheerfully smiled. “I’ll get you guy’s refills.”

“Okay, I know I’m being totally nosy here, but how old is she?” Peyton asked trying to keep her voice hushed.

“Just turned seventeen,” Karen answered. “And the father of that baby is the biggest loser around. Yikes. Never waitressed a day in her life, but she’s a quick study and works so hard. She’s still going to high school, and she’s taking some classes over the internet trying to get finished before the baby comes. She’ll just barely make it if this baby doesn’t come early.”

“What about her family?” Haley asked now unable to take her eyes from watching Kimberly’s every move. She looked so uncomfortable, but she was all smiles and couldn’t be more pleasant with the customers.

“I’m not too sure about her father. She doesn’t talk about him. I’m pretty sure it’s just her and her mother. She’s a sweetheart, she really is. The baby’s father shows up here every so often. Usually on payday. Keith ran him off one night because he was getting her all upset. She’d be better off without him. It’s going to be hard enough without him adding to it, but she has a really good attitude which will help.”

“It’s really great you gave her a job Karen. Considering she’s pregnant and all, I’m sure she had a hard time finding something,” Peyton said smiling at Kimberly as she set down their drink refills.

“You guys need anything else?”

They all shook their heads with smiles all around.

“Déjà vu if you know what I mean,” Karen said with a light laugh. “Actually, I didn’t have it as bad as Kimberly. I was a little older for one thing. It kind of put things on hold for a while. Like…forever actually,” she chuckled. “Never did manage to get back to college. Disappointing, but, I have this place, and Lucas, so I can’t really complain now can I? I’ll be right back,” Karen said jumping up to check out another customer.

Haley couldn’t eat. She picked her burger up to bite it, but set it back down uneaten. “Please tell me you didn’t bring me here on purpose,” she said pointedly at Peyton.

“What…no, god no Haley I wouldn’t do that. I had no idea this Kimberly person even existed. Look, you’re two different people with far different circumstances. Don’t take her story personally.”

“She’s a teenager Peyton, and she’s sucking it up and having the baby. God…I feel like such a whiner,” Haley huffed frustrated. “I’m going to have money and an involved father, and god I’m pitiful!”

“What else does she have Haley? This baby’s probably one of the only good things going in her life. She probably sees it as something that’s hers, something that will love her where no one else does kind of thing. She probably hasn’t even considered the big picture. You have. Stop internalizing every pregnant person’s story,” Peyton muttered trying to keep her voice down.

Karen settled back in her chair. “Does everything taste alright?” she asked Haley when she noticed her food laid barely touched, and she didn’t seem too inclined toward eating.

“Oh…yeah it’s fine. I don’t have much of an appetite I guess,” Haley smiled weakly. She was a picture of restrained frustration. Her eyes followed Kimberly all over the restaurant. She kept folding and unfolding her arms across herself with deep sighs, raking her hands through her hair.

“I’m pregnant,” she suddenly blurted out, her eyes boring into Karen to gage the reaction. Peyton groaned rolling her eyes; her head fell with a thud into her hands. “For god’s sake,” Peyton mumbled under her breath.

Karen’s face fell with shock. She looked befuddled between Haley and Peyton. Haley stared back apprehensively waiting for more. Peyton gave Karen a tight smile before turning to Haley rolling her eyes again finally deciding she’d just go back to pretending nothing happened and eat her food.

“Well…I had no idea,” Karen said with a flustered smile. “Deb didn’t say a word. Congratulations Haley.”

“Deb and Dan don’t know.”

“Oh…oh…well hunh. I guess this is a really recent development then,” Karen said trying to keep the bewilderment from her voice.

“Please don’t tell them,” Haley pleaded.

“No, no of course not. This is definitely the kind of news they’d want to hear from you and Nathan. So don’t worry, I won’t say a word.”

“We did just find out a few days ago. I’m not handling it that well to be honest,” she admitted with embarrassment.

Karen looked toward Peyton for some guidance, but was met with a small shrug as she continued to stuff her face. Anything to keep her mouth occupied before she somehow stuck her foot in it.

“Don’t let that bother you Haley,” Karen tried to soothe. “It’s a perfectly normal reaction. A baby is an enormous responsibility. Nervousness is certainly in order,” she said with a sweet smile. “I know I was a basket case for months. I was pretty sure I’d lost my mind up until the day I delivered. Somehow it all just kind of washed away after I saw that wrinkled up mess that’s turned into Lucas.” She reached over to take Haley’s shaky hand tightly in hers. “Don’t worry it’ll all work out.”

Haley quickly swatted away the few tears she’d let slip out.

“Did you ever think about…not having the baby?” Haley asked softly. She was barely able to give Karen a fleeting glance.

Karen took a long breath, once again looking toward Peyton for some…something. Peyton was staying out of this one. Karen didn’t know Haley all that well; she was more than apprehensive about doling out baby advice.

“Is that you talking or Nathan?”

Haley closed her eyes with a frustrated head shake. “Me. Nathan’s accepting all of this much better than I am. Much better than I ever expected him to actually.”

“Well, then he’s a much more of a stand up guy than his father was believe me,” Karen said with a hard sigh. “Of course the situations aren’t very similar so I really shouldn’t try to compare the two. Dan just…ugh…never mind. It was one long nightmare there for a while that’s all.”

Haley blew out a light breath shaking her head defeated, trying hard to keep herself composed. “I’m just really frustrated and confused and afraid and…stupid,” she said with a small nervous laugh. “Ignore me Karen; I shouldn’t even be talking about this with you. Let’s just pretend the last five minutes never happened okay?”

Karen laughed lightly taking Haley’s hand in hers squeezing it tightly. “You want the real version or the story book version?”

Haley looked at her a bit confused before giving her a small smile. “Can I have a little of both?”

Karen laughed. “Sure. We’re two different people with very different circumstances Haley. You could talk to Deb, and you’d probably get a third very different story. All three of us were in similar boats, but not the same one that’s for sure. I’m not sure it really matters what my personal story or my personal decision was. In the end, it’s your decision alone to make. You definitely have to consider Nathan’s feelings, but ultimately, unfortunately, it falls on you. You’re the one who has to carry it, or the one has to go through the actual procedure to terminate it. Not Nathan. I wish it was a fifty fifty deal, but it’s not.”

“He really thinks I should have it,” Haley said quietly, slapping away another tear.

“And his father really thought I shouldn’t. Sometimes I think I had Lucas just to spite him,” she said with a small laugh.

“I wish I could give you a specific answer Haley, but I can’t. Even without a baby your life’s about to change in so many ways. A new city, more years of very difficult school still to go. It’ll probably be just you and Nathan for a while. You won’t have all the friends and family close by as a support system like you’ve been used to. It’s going to be hard. You’ll have to learn to rely on just the two of you. And then there’s the fact that Nathan’s going to be gone a lot, and probably super busy himself when he is home. Maybe a new marriage. Throw a baby into all of that, and the complications just grow a hundred fold. Don’t fall into the notion that babies make things better Haley. They don’t. If anything they just put further strain on an already stressful situation. I don’t envy you at all. It’s not an easy decision. I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t understand if you chose not to have it.”

Karen brushed her hand over Haley’s back trying to help ease the tears that seemed to be endless now. “But…now that I’ve depressed you, let me say this. While pregnancy will drive you crazy with the morning sickness and the pounds that never seem to stop mounting, and the swelling ankles and the constant struggle to get comfortable…babies are a wonderful, glorious thing. They’ll bring you endless joy. Even when they grow up and do countless stupid things,” Karen said winking at Peyton who smiled back through her own tear filled eyes. “I wouldn’t trade one second of my life with Lucas. Not one. I never regretted my decision. Never second guessed it. Not once. I’m sure Deb would tell you the same thing about Nathan.”

“We had some hard lean years I admit, and even though I didn’t have a husband, I did have Keith. He helped us and supported us in so many ways I can’t begin to tell you. He was always there for Lucas as I’m sure Nathan would be for your child. That support does make a difference Haley. An enormous difference.”

“As hard as you think it’s going to be…it’ll probably be even harder, but in the end, I think they’re worth it. When I look at Lucas now, it’s hard for me to even remember the difficult years, the difficult times. All I see is my son. Someone I love with all my heart, and someone that loves me the same. I can’t tell you what to do. I can’t even advise you what to do. Just know that either way Haley, you have to be sure. There can’t be any regrets.”

“Yeah,” Haley whispered with a faint smile.

“And with all my rambling I’ve let your food get cold. You want a fresh burger or something else. Maybe a turkey sandwich. Fruit…something.”

“No, I’m good.”

“Haley eat something. Please,” Peyton gently tried.

“I’m not…okay; turkey sandwich sounds good I guess. Thank you,” she smiled gratefully accepting Karen’s hug.

“I don’t know what to say Haley. I didn’t expect to get all that from Karen.”

“I asked,” Haley shrugged tired.

“Did it help or just make it worse or what?”

“I’m not sure really. I haven’t digested it all. She’s right; it’s ultimately my decision which I hate. I want this baby Peyton. But honestly, I’m scared to death. I’m not sure I can handle having it, but I’m not sure I can live with myself if I don’t. I don’t just want the easy way out... I really don’t, because an abortion is not an easy way out no matter what anyone thinks. That regret thing…if I have the abortion I know I’ll end up regretting it some day. I just don’t want to end up regretting having it too. And then there’s Nathan.” She laid her head in her hands with a heavy sigh.

“Haley you heard Karen, this is ultimately up to you. Nathan…he’ll accept it if you decide not to have it. It may take a while, but he’ll come around,” Peyton tried to assuage her fears.

She slowly raised her head shaking the hair back out of her face. “No he won’t,” she said certainly. “He won’t come around Peyton. If I don’t have this baby, he’s gone. That’s something else I’ll have to live with.”

“Don’t let him like…backwards bully you into having it Haley. If he leaves then…he leaves. His loss,” Peyton said stubbornly folding her arms across her chest.

Haley had been up for hours when Peyton finally dragged out of bed around noon. Actually, Haley had just kind of shuffled from the bed to the couch. She still had pajamas on too.

“You always watch this much T.V.?” Peyton asked nudging Haley over so she could sit on the couch with her.

“No, but I didn’t bring anything to study. Shhh.”

Peyton scowled at her, then the television. “Is this the Lifetime channel? For crap’s sake Haley ever heard of MTV? I’d rather watch the Disney channel.”

“Then go in the other room and watch it,” Haley grumped back.

Peyton stuck her tongue out at her stuffing her thumbs in her ears and flapping her fingers at her for good measure.

“I saw that,” Haley mumbled. “Good,” Peyton chuckled.

Peyton waited for a commercial before she attempted to get a plot summary, not wanting to rile an obviously already touchy Haley any further.

“Her husband was beating her and she killed him. Now she’s on trial, and they’re trying to take her kids from her,” Haley quickly relayed.

“I don’t know why I bothered to ask. Aren’t all Lifetime movies that same plot? They just insert different actors and different locations.”

“Sometimes the husband kills the wife,” Haley shrugged matter of fact. “Although that’s usually so he can get rid of her to be with his mistress. Who always finds out he really did kill the wife, and then ends up running for her life at the end. Of course, she runs up the stairs or into the darkened room which conveniently doesn’t have working lights, or, like a total idiot, she runs in front of the headlights as he bears down on her in his Mercedes. You’re right,” she said suddenly changing moods, “it’s crap. Let’s eat lunch.” She pointed the remote at the television clicking it off and heading off to the kitchen leaving Peyton sitting bewildered on the couch.

They made one more trip by the mall before they left. Both of them managed to find a couple more things they couldn’t live without. They stood in front of the movie theater debating what they should see before finally deciding it all sucked, and they may as well head back to school so they could get there before it got too dark.

“You gonna’ be alright?” Peyton gently asked giving Haley’s hand a light squeeze as she pulled up to Haley’s apartment.

“Yeah,” she replied with a smile. “Thanks for taking me with you Peyton. Time away from here was just what I needed. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll talk to you tomorrow okay?”

“Okay. Thanks again.”

Haley took a long deep breath before turning the knob.

Nathan was cocked back on the couch, his legs stretched across the table as he furiously worked the remote on the Playstation.

“Hi,” she quietly greeted setting her bags behind the couch.

He hit the pause button quickly dropping the controller on the floor. He hadn’t heard her come in.

“Hey baby,” he hesitantly replied moving to draw her into a tight hug, leaving a long kiss on her head. “How’d it go?”

“It went good. I got lots of sleep. I have definite couch potato potential,” she smiled continuing to hold her arms around him. “I think Peyton understands the greatness of That’s So Raven now.”

“How could you not,” he grinned hugging her to him again. He closed his eyes holding her ever closer. “I missed you Hales.”

“I missed you too. Let’s sit okay.” He nervously agreed letting her lead him by the hand to the couch. She got settled in, taking both of his hands in hers. “I’ve made a decision, and…it’s a final one. I’m…I’m not going to change my mind Nathan.”

His stomach was one huge knot. His mouth had gone dry, he wasn’t totally sure he was still breathing. He looked down at their joined hands, biting at his lips. He wasn’t convinced it was working, but he tried his best to paste a calm look on his face before glancing back up to meet her eyes. It was obvious she was trying her best to appear calm as well.

“Alright,” he finally replied.

Chapter 22

She’d been staring at their hands for what seemed like an eternity. Nathan’s shifting in his seat and the small squeeze he’d just given her hand seemed to jar her out of her thoughts. She looked up with a quick smile. The return smile he tried for didn’t quite make it to his face.

“How was your weekend?”

He bit lightly at the inside of his cheek to ward off the frustrated sigh. He wondered if she was seriously expecting an answer.

“It was long. It was extremely long.”

“So that means you missed me huh?” she said with a sweet smile, placing a light kiss on his lips.

The sigh escaped this time as he glanced down at their still joined hands. “Yeah, yeah I missed you,” he replied, lightly shaking his head. He raised his eyes to hold hers, “I’m…I’m pretty sure I need you more than it’s healthy for one person to need another.”

She raised her palm to his cheek brushing her thumb gently over it, smiling at his words. He couldn’t help the way his eyes floated closed or the way he leaned into her soft touch. It felt like they’d been apart for ages.

She felt it too. She couldn’t resist the want on his face as he leaned into her hand. She placed her mouth over his; a soft moan blew over her lips as she felt his mouth responding with slight desperation to hers. He could barely resist letting her push him down on the couch.

“I love you,” she whispered against his lips. His fingers tangled though her hair as he tried to hold her still, tried to pull away, fighting his need to get lost in her.

“Hales…,” he barely choked out, pressing another long kiss against her mouth before drawing in a deep breath as he rested his head against hers.

“I know, I’m sorry,” she sighed laying one more light kiss to him. “I know, it just feels like we haven’t been close in so long. I…”

“It feels that way to me too baby, and it’s all my fault, I’m so sorry. But right now…I need you to talk to me Hales, please.”

She sunk back into her place with a disappointed sigh. Taking up his hand she softly kissed the back of it. “I know. I love you Nathan.”

“I know you do Hales, I love you too.”

His stomach had turned into one huge knot. He wasn’t completely certain he wasn’t about to get nauseous waiting for her to start. He focused on keeping his breathing steady as he chewed lightly at his bottom lip.

He was prepared. He knew he was. He just needed her to say it so they could go on with their lives, because no matter what, he wasn’t going to lose her over this.

“Gosh, my hands are shaking,” she said with a forced laugh wringing her hands tightly together trying to calm them.

“It was a long weekend for me too or…maybe it wasn’t long enough I’m not sure which. It did help to get away. Peyton was right. You should give her more credit Nathan, be nicer to her, she was so great.”

“Whatever,” he mumbled rolling his eyes at the mere thought.

“Anyway…it turned out to be a good weekend. I didn’t see your parents for one thing. Thank God for small favors. It was quiet and I got a lot of thinking done. You know, Peyton was there to try and lighten the mood. We actually did a little shopping. But mostly she let me be by myself, and I think that’s what I really needed.”

He wanted her to just say it already. She wasn’t helping his nausea.

“I’m going to tell you this, I know you’re not going to like it, but…I told Karen.”

“Why?” he broke in trying his best to hide the irritation he felt.

“Well…it just kind of came out unexpectedly actually. There’s a young girl working for her that’s pregnant, and we were talking about her, and the next thing you know I just blurted it out. I’m sure Karen was wishing I’d kept it to myself as much as I was. But don’t worry; she’s not going to tell your mom. She promised she wouldn’t.”

She waited for him to say something further, he didn’t. He knew Karen would never divulge information like that. He still didn’t want anymore people knowing than already did, especially when things could be changing at any minute.

“We talked. It was actually very helpful Nathan. I mean Karen went through something similar – like you don’t know that –,” she tried to laugh again, “and your mom too. I admire them both for their choices. They did what they thought was right, what was best for them, and…and that’s really all you can do.”

He shook his head in agreement. He knew the answer; he just needed her to say it. It was beginning to feel like she was intentionally torturing him.

She stood up walking nervously away from him. She folded her arms across herself blowing out another long breath.

“I’m…I’m really confident in my decision so I don’t know why I’m so nervous. I’m still shaking actually,” she smiled, furiously shaking out her hands at her side.

Nathan sat back against the couch, his face passive as he seemingly waited patiently for her to get it together. His own hands were shaking. He pushed them under his legs to keep them still.

“Anyway…I’ve always prided myself on my school work. My grades. I don’t have much else you know. I can’t play any sports. I’m just klutz deluxe as you know, and I can’t do much else. I mean I can half ass play the guitar and the piano, and I’m a hell of a shower singer, but other than that I don’t have much going but my school success.”

“That’s not true Haley. There’s a lot more to you than good grades.”

“Well, thank you, but as far as I’m concerned that’s the highlight. And the thought of that not being top notch it…it bothers me. I have to - I need to - excel at school. It’s who I am. The smart girl. The thought of something…something controllable interfering with that is…well it’s very upsetting to me. I guess that sounds selfish, and I know that’s not valid in anyone else’s mind, but it is mine. And that counts for something.”

“You know as happy as Karen is that she has Lucas, that she chose to have Lucas even when Dan didn’t want her to, she was very honest, I mean almost blunt, about how difficult it could be for us. You know with school and moving and your job and then a baby. She just emphasized what I already felt, that it was an incredible hurdle. B…” She startled when Nathan’s phone started intrusively ringing.

“You want…”

“Let it ring,” he brusquely cut her off. “This can’t wait Haley. Go on.”

“Okay.” She wiped her sweating palms over her jeans, drawing in another long breath. “Okay, so anyway, everybody has an opinion. You and me and Peyton and Karen and Jake and on and on, but as was also pointed out …it’s pretty much up to me. I have to carry it or go through what it’s going to take to…not carry it. It’s all on me.”

“It’s not all on you Haley. I…”

“Yes it is,” she jumped in. “It is. I know you don’t want it to be. I don’t want it to be believe me, but it is Nathan. It is ultimately my decision. No one can make it for me unfortunately.” He opened his mouth to say more, but shut it just as quickly. There was no use arguing the point.

“In working through all of this in my head the one thing that kept coming back to me is something Peyton said. Am I going to look back and always wonder what if? You know…what if I’d had it, what would it be like, who would it look like, heck what would it have been…a boy, a girl…all those little nagging questions just continuously jumbled through my head.” She glanced down at her hands she noticed were fidgeting with her shirttail. She dropped it shaking her head with another long sigh.

“I can’t live with those questions,” she quietly breathed. “I’m already asking myself those things. I’ve already wondered a hundred times, is it a boy or a girl. If I’m doing that now when I’m just skeptical about having it, what am I going to be like in eighteen years when I don’t have it, and I realize they would be graduating from high school that year or in just six short years when they should be going off to their first day of school? I’m never going to stop wondering what if. I can’t live always wondering.”

She ran her hands frustratingly through her hair before folding them across herself again, drawing yet another deep breath. She glanced toward him searching for a reaction.

Nathan still sat motionless. He wasn’t sure at all as to what she was saying. She hadn’t just said it. He intently watched her every nervous moves. It was making him even more nervous.

“Haley…I don’t want to interrupt you okay. But I just need a yes or no. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be an ass, but I’m a little slow sometimes I guess. I can deal with whichever it is. Honestly, I swear I can, but I need the simple version. Yes or no.”

She smiled at his honest fluster. She moved back to sit next to him, taking up one of his hands absently playing with his fingers.

“You know, you never have been a very patient person. That’s why I still can’t shoot a basketball. You get so put out with my…my ineptness. No patience…none at all,” she huffed trying to hide the smirk.

“Haley,” he sighed closing his eyes briefly with a frustrated head shake. “Please don’t. Just…please.”

“Alright, I’m sorry. After all of the crying and fighting and whining and stewing and worrying…it kind of comes down to one thing. I want to have it,” she shrugged. His head shot up at her words, his eyes flying wide with surprise.

“What?” he stuttered out.

“I thought I was being pretty clear,” she shrugged again smiling at his stunned face. “Snap out of it Scott. You’re gonna’ be a dad.”

“Are you sure Haley? Really, really sure? Because I’ve thought about it long and hard, and I’m okay with it if you don’t want to. All I want is you. I’m fine as long as I have you, so don’t do it because of me. Please don’t.”

“I’m not. I’m having it because I want to. It’s our baby. I love that. I love you Nathan. We’re getting started on a family way sooner than I wanted, but…oh well,” she smiled at his still befuddled face. “I may end up at the bottom of my law class, and that’s something I’ll have to learn to deal with but you will too, because it’ll probably turn me into a raging bitch. So get ready.”

He finally allowed a little smile. “Couldn’t you have started with the ‘I want to have it’?”

“But then you wouldn’t know why.”

“Haley…I’m still not sure why. Because you want to?” he asked trying to grasp what had just transpired. He’d psyched himself up for the exact opposite news.

“Exactly. Nathan, as far as I’m concerned there’s a little person inside of me. I know not everybody thinks at the stage I’m in that it is, but I do. And I can’t help but love it. It’s half you, how could I not love it. We made it out of love, granted it was in a moment of complete lust in an airplane bathroom,” she giggled a light blush dotting her cheeks, “but I never would have been there if I didn’t love you so much.”

He couldn’t fight back the huge grin any longer. He firmly grasped her head between his hands pressing a hard kiss to her smiling lips. “Thank you Haley. I’ll be there for you I promise. You won’t regret this. You won’t,” he sighed quietly, laying his head to hers.

“I know I won’t,” she returned. She sat back kissing the back of his hands that held hers. “That’s the thing, I can’t see myself regretting this decision, but I know in the end I would have the other. But,” she said with a small head shake as her hands rubbed over his. “It doesn’t really change all those other feelings of apprehension and fear I’ve been having. They’re still there Nathan. I’m scared to death. I still want it all, law school, and you, and the baby. I have no idea how I’m going to handle all that. No idea at all. I’m not completely sure I can, but I know somehow I have to. I’m going to need your help. Big time I’m going to need your help.”

“I’ll be there. I’ll help you Haley. I promise. I don’t know a damn thing about babies, but…I’ll figure it out. I may get it wrong the first hundred times, but I’ll get it eventually. Thank you.”

She flipped her shoes off before she pushed herself from the couch to stand in front of him. The silly smile was still entrenched on his face. The smile definitely grew less silly, his eyes ever darkening as he watched her slowly peel the jeans down her legs. Her own smile got wider as he took the edges of the shirt she’d just unbuttoned pulling it apart. She blushed at the lustful growl he’d just made.

She straddled across him in her panties sucking slow kisses over his neck, letting him pull the shirt down her arms. “I love you Pinky,” he murmured through a deep sigh. He worried he was going to combust at the waves of heat pulsing through his body as she nibbled at his ear, her hands massaging deeply into his hair, his own hands massaged into every inch of her.

“I need you,” she breathlessly moaned into his ear. His breath hitched. He couldn’t stop the long groans at the feel of her teeth scraping lightly over his neck. His hands grasped tightly to her hips feeling her move, his breath grew panted as she ground herself against the erection pressing through his pants. It felt like forever since he’d had her.

Their mouths moved wet and wide over the others. She pushed to her knees so he could easily reach her breasts. He effortlessly unhooked her bra tossing it aside. Her moans filled the apartment at the feel of his mouth sucking wet over her warm skin.

“I need you Nathan,” she said barely able to catch enough breath to speak. She took over his mouth again. “I need sex and I need a lot of it,” she mumbled against his lips. He shook his head agreeably, pushing his tongue deeper into her mouth. “God,” she groaned out her head falling back to let him ravage her neck.

He pushed himself up to the edge of the couch, her legs wrapped tightly around him. She suddenly grasped his face between her hands holding it still in front of her, both of their chests heaved for air. His hazy eyes drifted open to meet her intensely dark eyes and serious gaze. “Nathan,” she whispered pushing a light kiss to his swollen lips. “Are you listening?” He shook his head. She kissed him again. She held his eyes, her voice as firm as she could manage, “I want sex Nathan. I want it hot and I want it dirty. Give me what I want Nathan, now.” She pushed another long kiss to his smiling lips.

“Not a problem,” he chuckled against her mouth as he laid them to the floor.

If only it was as funny as their giggles made it seem Haley thought as she watched Brooke and Peyton across the table from her practically doubled over with laughter while she sat, chin on fist, staring annoyed at them.

Of course, she may have found it funnier if she was starting her third Margarita like them instead of the stupid lemonade she was sipping on. Even Brooke making them put it in a Margarita glass so she’d feel included wasn’t helping any. Pregnancy sucked.

“Come on Haley, you have to admit it was funny.”

“Yeah…yeah it was funny Brooke,” she agreed with a small smile.

“Okay what’s the deal?” Peyton asked still trying to stifle her giggles.

“Nothing. I’m feeling sorry for myself that’s all. I can’t drink. Everything’s always funnier when you drink you know. Believe me, I’m learning that real quick right now,” she grumbled at them. “You guys drag me into Victoria’s Secret so you can buy barely there lingerie knowing full well it’s useless for me to buy any considering I’m going to have the figure of a beached whale in a few short months…”

“I showed you the pregnancy lingerie they had. There was some hot stuff Haley. Nathan would totally get into it,” Brooke assured her.

“I’m so sure Nathan wants to see me waddle out in some lacy…muumuu sized lingerie with my big stomach not to mention the rest of my extra large body I’m about to grow. Yeah, he’d be totally into that alright.”

“He loves you Haley. He’s not going to give a crap how big you get. Besides, I hear your boobs like double in size. They’d be falling out of that stuff. He’d be all over that…so…to speak,” Brooke stuttered. “Anyway, he’s a guy. As long as he gets to look at a little skin, some boobs, he’s good,” she shrugged taking a long sip from her drink.

Haley rolled her eyes. “I guess. That perv in the store didn’t even need skin or boobs. He…god he was so disgusting,” she groaned shaking her head at the memory.

“He was disgusting,” Peyton laughed. “I never did see a girl with him. I think the creep was just in there to ogle the stuff. I mean I wouldn’t mind seeing some guy,” she looked around lowering her voice, “with an obvious hard on, if he was worth…you know seeing, but this guy was total perv. Yuck. It was funny though. Gross, but funny,” she said as they all broke out in more laughter.

Haley greedily shoveled in the last bites of her Mexican food knowing she’d be severely regretting her choice when she was hugging the commode in the morning. It was too good to turn down.

“Okay, give it to her,” Brooke instructed nudging Peyton in the side.

“Give me what?”

“You’re pre-pregnancy gift,” Peyton grinned handing her the Victoria’s Secret bag.

“It’s a little late for pre-pregnancy don’t ya think?” Haley quipped taking the bag.

“I meant pre-fat…I mean pre-bi…you know…oh, just take it.”

Haley pulled the dark red baby doll from the bag. She couldn’t help but smile at her friends attempt to build her confidence about her impending figure explosion.

“It’s beautiful, thank you. You guys are so sweet. But…is this the pregnant version. Looks pretty small.” She didn’t notice the table of business men next to them cutting their eyes appreciatively at the lingerie she was holding up for all to see.

“That’s what it said,” Brooke shrugged. “I couldn’t really tell either. I think maybe it’s just longer or something to accommodate your huge stomach.”

“Huge…thanks, can’t wait for that. If my boobs actually do double in size, I promise, there’s not enough material here to cover them. It’ll barely cover them now. Yep, Nathan’s going to totally be into this thing alright,” she giggled. “Thanks you guys.”

Her blush matched the material when she glanced sideways to see her audience of men. She quickly stuffed it back in the bag, waving a hand in front of her face to ease the heat as Peyton and Brooke howled with laughter.

Nathan ignored her glare and the way she sucked her teeth at him yet again. You couldn’t watch the NBA without jerking around, and jabbing your fists in the air, and hooting at the slams. It just couldn’t be done. She should know that by now.

“Nathan please!” she barked when he laughed loudly at the way some player just got dunked on, sending the bed into the same fit as his body. Not to mention jiggling her computer and sending half her papers to the floor.

“What…did you see that? He needs to sit down, man he sucks.”

Haley glared again. “Would you mind picking up the papers you just knocked on the floor please? I need them. I have a huge test tomorrow and you’re not helping any with all your wiggling.”

He dumped the papers back on the bed climbing back in next to her. “Take a break,” he whispered in her ear before he nuzzled his lips to her neck sucking lightly over it.

“Stop,” she cut her eyes at the T.V. “It’s a commercial, no wonder,” she grumbled.

“I can miss the game for this Hales,” he smiled working his way over her shoulder as his hand massaged her breast. She swatted his wandering hand.

“Stop, back, don’t, quit!” she rapidly fired off, fighting the urge to just say screw it all and give in like her body was telling her to.

“Alright, alright,” he pouted dropping another kiss on her cheek slumping back on his side. “Did you find a dress for the banquet?”

“No. I’m just going to wear the black dress I already have. I quit looking. I got majorly depressed after Victoria’s Secret. That dress will work. I don’t need a new one.” She sighed frustrated trying to reorder the papers he’s strewn.

“Victoria’s Secret?” He perked up on that.

She rolled her eyes at his tone. “There was this…I want to ask you something. Do you get all…you know…do you get a hard on when you go in Victoria’s Secret?”

His face twisted into a deep scowl at her question. He turned back to the game increasing the volume ignoring her further.

“I take that as a yes,” she questioned with growing smirk.

“No I don’t. I haven’t been in a Victoria’s Secret in forever. That’s what the internets for.”

“So you get all excited when you shop on the internet?”

“Haley…god, why are you asking me this?” he puffed annoyed by the continued prodding.

“Well do you?”

“I…no…I guess…sometimes maybe. Jesus can we just…you need to get back to studying.” He shoved at the pillows under his head to prop himself up better. He knew already this was going to end badly.

“So you get all excited looking at those models huh?”

“Look Haley…I…okay, I see stuff I think you’d look good in, and I, you know…imagine you in it and…things pop up. What can I say,” he sighed frustrated by the whole conversation.

“You imagine me in it…un huh…sure. Nothing to do with the model, and the way she’s falling out of everything and has a come screw me look I guess,” she teased enjoying the way she was making him blush for a change.

“Absolutely not,” he assured scratching at his head. Her burst of laughter was met with another scowl.

“You scratched your head.”

“It itched!” he huffed.

“You dart your eyes and scratch at your head when you’re fibbing Nathan.”

“Whatever, I do not. Why the hell are you asking me this crap anyway?” He wanted this to end right now. Much more and they were going to end up in a fight he just knew it.

“Because there was this pervert in the store. He was just kind of wandering around fingering stuff. His umm…excitement over it all was very apparent.”

“What!”

“He had a hard on. It was so gross,” she shivered.

“Did you tell them?”

“Oh yeah Nathan. ‘Excuse me Ms Manager, but that man over there has an erection. Would you mind telling him that’s not allowed,” she mocked in her best stuffed shirt voice.

“He might be some sort of sexual psycho or something Haley.”

“You just said you get excited too,” she argued back.

“Yeah but I’m at home when I do, not wandering alone in the damn store. Stay out of there, Jesus,” he grumbled trying to concentrate on the game again.

“Did you buy anything?” He asked a few minutes later. He couldn’t help the curiosity.

“Peyton and Brooke bought me a pregnancy baby doll.”

“Pregnancy? They have pregnant lingerie?” She was surprised at the excitement in his voice. “Where is it…put it on.”

“Oh for god’s sake Nathan.” She was trying to ignore him now. She really had to get back to studying.

“You’re pregnant. Pregnant lingerie…put it on.”

“No. It’s for when I’m fat.”

“God Haley, you’re not going to get fat. I’ll never get to see it if that’s the criteria. Where is it?” He jumped out of the bed when she pointed at the closet. She rolled her eyes trying to hide the smile when she heard the sexual growls and whistles coming from the closet.

She looked up to find him standing by the bed holding it up grinning like a letch.

“That’s it…that’s the same look the guy in the store had,” she pointed excitedly, breaking into a fit of giggles. He rolled his eyes.

“Come on Hales, try it out,” he said wiggling his eyebrows the grin still across his face.

“No, then you’ll have nothing to look forward to in a few months, but a fat me in flannel.”

“Come on…,” he coaxed sweetly.

“No Nathan. Besides, you won’t be satisfied just looking at it. I won’t have it on two minutes and you’ll want to take it off me, and then…you know. I’ll never get any studying done. Put it back,” she ordered waving him away trying to concentrate once more on her work.

He tossed it back in the sack setting it back on the shelf smiling at the thought of her spilling out of that thing.

He took the computer right out from under her fingers. He quickly gathered up her papers tossing them in a pile on the floor. His mouth was on hers before she could even whine in protest.

“I admit it. That stuff gives me a major hard on. I need you to help me get over it baby,” he whispered hotly.

“Wow, so smooth,” she giggled into his kiss easily letting him pull her on top of him. She pushed up long enough to rip his Tarheel jersey off over her head before her mouth descended over his again. Studying would have to wait.

She warily watched him shuffle back into the bedroom. His face was as tight with tension now as it was when he’d left the room. He blew out a long heavy sigh dropping with a thud on the edge of the bed; his hands ran slowly around his head before he flopped back across the bed staring blankly at the ceiling.

She sucked in her own long breath, “That bad?” she quietly asked.

He blew out another long breath. “No,” he mumbled in utter disbelief. “They were actually very…understanding and…supportive. I had to check my phone to make sure I’d dialed the right number. I hate it when they act like that.”

She couldn’t help but giggle at him. “Would you rather they told you how stupid you were, and how it was going to ruin your life?”

“Not really, but that’s more what I was expecting. At least from Dad. I figured Mom would suck it up and paste the happy smile to her voice, but Dad… It’s like he slept on the pod or something. Do you know he had the nerve to say congratulations and actually sound like he meant it? Unbelievable,” he scoffed shaking his head still stunned.

“Really, the nerve!” she sarcastically agreed. “You want me call him back and chew his ass out?”

He wanted to believe it. He really did, and a part, a part deep back in the recessive areas of his brain kind of did, but still…

“I think this is about you. He likes you. He actually likes you better than he likes me, which I totally understand, but man…he’s freaking spooky. I think those heart drugs he takes are really hallucinogenics. That, or his body’s been invaded by aliens. Either way…I’m just glad it’s over. I did my part. I told them. The end. They can’t accuse me of hiding shit from them this time.”

“Yeah well, it’s going to be a little hard to hide my big gut come Christmas time. I think even they could figure it out.” She crawled down to where he still lay sprawled out dropping a soft kiss to his lips. “Thank you. I know that wasn’t easy.”

He tiredly pushed himself up to sit at the edge of the bed again, his head fell into his hands as he rubbed them through his hair, another long frustrated sigh blowing past his lips. “At least my parents still love you. Yours are never going to speak to me again. I knocked up their daughter, and sent her life right down the shitter in the process.”

“Oh bullcrap. They love you. You know my Mom has a huge crush on you. She totally has that Mrs. Robinson thing going for you.”

“Yeah, I’m so sure about that. And your Dad? He wants to have me castrated you know. Holidays at the James’…can’t wait for that. Your Dad glaring at me from across the room the whole time. Good times they are a ‘comin, I can feel the love already,” he grumbled with another long sigh.

“Stop that. My Dad loves you too. He’s fine. He’ll be spoiling this kid rotten just like he does the rest of his grandkids. He’ll be there for us don’t worry.”

The clicking of the computer keys woke him. His eyes eased open from where his head still lay rested in her lap, the same place it was when he fell asleep an hour ago while she studied on.

“What are you doing?” he asked through a groggy yawn. “That doesn’t look like law class material,” he chuckled when his hazy eyes focused in on the computer screen.

“I’m just trying to see what’s going on with this kid of yours. I’m thinking I’m about nine weeks…so…according to this, it’s starting to grow arms and legs and its heart’s beating. You think we’ll get to hear its heartbeat when we go to the doctor this week?” she smiled, her voice full of excitement at the prospect.

He rolled over grinning up at her joy filled face, stroking his hand softly over her cheek. “You are definitely asking the wrong person Hales. You’re really getting into this aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I am,” she shrugged her face still lit with excitement. “I’m really torn on the boy or girl thing though. I can’t get a good feel for what I think it is yet. I can’t decide which I prefer either. I mean a boy would be totally great he…”

“Hales…,” Nathan cut in, “Hales you’re rambling. You know what it does to me when you ramble, and both of us are too tired for that. It’s late, put your stuff up and let’s get some sleep okay. You and my daughter both need some sleep,” he chuckled.

“Daughter? You really think it’s a girl?” she asked intently, like he had some special insight to the truth.

He helped her set her things aside, trying to get her settled in beside him. She laid her head on his shoulder, enjoying him stroking softly over her hair. He dropped a kiss on her head before closing his eyes and squeezing her tighter into his body. “I have no idea what it is Hales, but I know I’ll be happy with either. As long as I have you I’m good. Go to sleep baby.”

“You talking to me or them?” she giggled into his chest finally closing her eyes with a content sigh.

She hated to turn off the soothing warm water, but she really needed to get a move on. She tied her hair up in one towel, grabbing the other one to dry her body. The nausea had been getting better the last couple of days, but the mornings still left her a tad queasy. She just didn’t seem to have any energy. She plodded from class to class, barely able to keep her eyes open most of the time. Most of her class time was spent longing to get back in bed.

And if Nathan made her eat one more healthy meal instead of a plate full of chocolate cake like she wanted she was going to smack him one. She liked sweets, she was certain the baby must too. What was his deal with balanced meals all of a sudden? Yuck!

She turned sideways to the mirror easing the towel down. She examined her stomach the same way she had every morning for the last couple of weeks. She couldn’t really tell any difference. Maybe a little, but she wasn’t sure. Her pants did seem slightly tighter, but not uncomfortable. She figured it was her imagination. She thought she may have gained a couple of pounds. She always fluxed two or three, but lately the flux hadn’t fluxed down. She figured that constituted a pregnancy weight gain. She had her first doctors appointment scheduled for the end of the week. She already had a page of written questions.

She couldn’t contain the smile as she ran her hand slowly and gently around her abdomen. “So far so good sweetie. Thanks for easing up on the morning sickness. I appreciate it. I’m going to sneak you a big fat brownie or banana split or something really gooey when your Dad’s not around, don’t worry. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” she bit back the giggle. She kissed her finger tips touching them to her stomach. “I have to get ready now. I love you.”

She tugged her hair from the towel, running it briskly over her head. She had to jump out of the way before the bathroom door hit her square in the ass when Nathan came barging in. She scrambled to get the towel around herself. She didn’t have time for his distractions.

He was too quick. His arms wrapped around her naked body pulling her back into him before she even had it halfway up. His lips kissed tenderly over her shoulder and up her neck she had laid her head over to give him better access to. She sighed, her eyes floating closed at the feel of his warm hands rubbing softly over her breasts and stomach.

“Jeez Hales…lay off the beer,” he teased as he rubbed over her stomach.

Her eyes flew open her hand quickly swatted back into his head. “Just when I was thinking how sweet you were being you come out with that! What a big fat jerk you are! Let go!”

He wouldn’t. “You know I’m teasing you. You’re perfect as always.” She instantly forgave him relaxing back into his chest. Both of them watched his hand in the mirror move over her stomach. “You can’t even tell. Still flat as ever. Well, not everything’s flat,” he purred into her hair as his hands massaged into her breasts.

“Stop that,” she whimpered. She stretched back to rub her hands through his hair with another sigh. “I have to get dressed. Stop Nathan.” She pulled his mouth around to meet hers, twisting in his arms pushing her mouth harder against his.

“I thought you said stop,” he smiled pulling back to smirk at her darkening eyes. She blushed at how easy she was.

“I did. I have to get dressed and get out of here and so do you.”

“I’m dressed…for now,” he winked pressing a light kiss to her lips. “Should I get undressed?”

She sighed reluctantly untangling herself from his arms. “No. We can take this up again later. That’s if I’m not asleep again. I swear I am so tired the last few days I can hardly keep going.”

“I have a protein shake already made for you, and I peeled an orange and…”

“Stop, God I’m getting sick already from all the health I feel pouring through my veins. Don’t you have any donuts? Sugar gives you energy rushes in case you forgot.”

“And you fall just as far down as you rush up. Doesn’t last long enough. That’s why you need healthy food Haley.”

“That’s why you need healthy food Haley,” she mocked giving his smirk a big pout. “I’m going to eat some crappy shit today if it kills me,” she adamantly proclaimed. “Wait and see if I don’t,” she added firmly when she saw his frown.

“Hurry,” he ordered popping a kiss on her head and slapping her bare butt before leaving her alone to get ready.

She rushed home as quickly as her tired legs would take her. Her umbrella barely kept her dry from the downpour that had been relentless since before sunrise. Nathan was going to be at the gym all afternoon. She wanted a long nap before she had to go to that damn basketball banquet. She thought that crap went out with high school. They’d never bothered to go before, but this was Nathan’s senior year and he and Lucas were going to be the center of attention. He had to go. He actually wanted to go, which meant she had to play the dutiful girlfriend, and smile and laugh and…blech! She’d much rather sleep and hear about it later.

She snuggled into her pillow with a satisfied sigh. Her hand drifted down to rub over her stomach the same way she’d unconsciously been doing for days. She rested it there, a comfort to herself and the little person inside, as she drifted off to sleep.

He figured his banging around in the bathroom would wake her. She hadn’t budged. He chuckled at the light snore that continued to fill the bedroom. She was totally zonked. He hated to wake her, but he wanted her, he needed her, to be with him tonight. It was his last hurrah. He wanted to share it with her. It was the ending of a pivotal time in his life; it was like the beginning of their new one. He needed her with him.

Brushing the hair from her face he laid a soft kiss to her temple. She didn’t flinch. His hand drifted under the covers rubbing slowly over her waist and hip, she finally wiggled when he moved down the side of her breast. Her eyes actually fluttered open when he massaged her breast gently in his hand.

“What are you up to?” she mumbled glaring at him through the small slit her eyes allowed.

“Just …waking you,” he shrugged innocently. He hadn’t released her chest yet.

“I think I’m awake now,” she smirked in return rolling to her back.

“How’s junior treating you today?” he rubbed slowly over her stomach. He tugged her shirt up laying a kiss to her belly.

“You’re child is being an angel as usual,” her smile matching his. “I’m feeling kind of blah actually. I’m just so damn tired. I hope that doctor has some pep pills for me tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry. I know you’d rather skip this dog and pony show, but I really want you there. We’ll cut out early I promise.”

She startled at the lightening flashing through the window. “Is it still raining? Great, my hairs going to be a big fuzz ball. Oh…hell I’ll just pile it on my head or something. I better get it together,” she sighed pushing up off the bed.

“Haley…thank you. I appreciate you going.”

“I wouldn’t miss it Nathan,” she winked disappearing behind the bathroom door.

She jumped when she saw the red napkin suddenly waving in front of her face. She scowled over at Peyton’s laughing.

“What?”

“I was just giving you a napkin. By the look on your face, you’ll need it to catch the drool any minute now.”

“I’m wide awake,” she said with a big fake grin.

“Let’s make fun of people. That should wake you up.”

“Speaking of…where in the world did Lucas dig up the bimbo he dragged along?” Haley frowned twisting around in her chair in search of Lucas and the tall brunette he’d shown up with. She was grateful when they left the table; the girl did nothing but giggle at everything. She was afraid Nathan’s eyes were going to stick in the back of his head if he rolled them one more time.

“She’s in his anatomy class I think. There they are,” Peyton laughed pointing at Lucas and his date huddled in the corner pawing each other.

“Anatomy? Is that a joke?” Haley scoffed disbelieving.

“I swear to God. She’s probably his lab partner.” They blew out loud guffaws at that. They both must have been tired.

“Holy crap! Look who’s here!” Peyton exclaimed tugging hard at Haley’s arm.

“Easy, I’m going to need that arm Peyton… Lord, what is she doing here?” Haley grumbled when she saw Megan slinking their way. “Duck, here she comes.” There was no getting away.

“Hey! How are you guys?” Megan chirped with her usual annoyingly bubbly voice. “I haven’t seen you in forever.” She drew both Haley and Peyton into tight hugs. “You guys look so good.”

“Thank you Megan. You’re looking good too.”

“Thanks,” she giggled. “I bet you’re surprised to see me huh?”

“No, of course not. Why would you say that?”

“Well I haven’t been on the dance squad for the last couple of years, as I’m sure you know,” she added with a plastered on smile. “So I haven’t gotten the invite that goes with that, but all the girls get to bring someone, and Cami’s date had to back out so, she begged me to come. And…here I am,” she bubbled out again.

“Well, I’m glad for you Megan,” Haley sweetly replied. “I hope you’re having fun.” She wanted her to disappear. Go up in a puff of smoke. Ride off on the broom she’d arrived on. Whatever it took just…

“Megan. How’s it going? Long time no see,” Nathan greeted with obvious fake glee in his voice... Or Nathan could show up. That would work too. He dropped in the chair next to Haley wrapping his arm around her shoulders tugging her into him. Haley glanced up at his smirking face, fighting hard the giggles she wanted to let go.

Megan glared hard at Nathan’s smirking face. “Nathan,” she finally managed to bite out.

“What brings you here? Oh that’s right…the cheerleaders and dance squad get to come too, I completely forgot. Oh…but you’re not part of the dance squad anymore are you? Sorry, my bad. Just crashing huh?”

Megan jumped to her feet, her eyes shooting daggers through Nathan. Haley twisted a frown his way, but he was unwavering, his eyes shot right back at Megan.

“I was invited to come by a friend, but you’re right, I’m not part of the squad – as YOU well know Nathan.”

“Come on Megan, you’re not still blaming me for your lack of talent are you?” he cajoled chuckling at the complete outrage taking her over.

Megan was so flustered she couldn’t form words. “You…I can’t believe you’re still with him Haley! He’s…he’s…OH…he’s awful!” She turned on her stilettos huffing away.

“Hey,” Nathan winked popping a kiss on Haley’s cheek.

She gave him a hard elbow in the side. “That was mean.”

“I know,” he shrugged completely uncaring. He threw a grin Peyton’s way. Nathan Scott at his finest she mused, rolling her eyes at his stupid grin.

“Did you really get her kicked off the dance squad?” Peyton asked curious about the tale Megan had made sure to spread to anyone that would listen the past two years.

“I didn’t get her kicked off anything Peyton. She had to try out the next year like everybody else. She didn’t make it. Oh well,” he shrugged taking a long sip from his drink popping another kiss on Haley’s head. Haley rested her head on her fist turning wary eyes his way. She was never certain whether he had a part in it or not. “What? If she sucked it’s not my fault.”

“Me thinks he doth protest too much,” Haley drolled back.

Peyton fell back against her chair, folding her arms across herself shaking her head as she watched him ignore her.

“What’d you do little Dan?”

Nathan turned instantly enraged eyes on her. Peyton immediately knew she’d pushed too far. He released Haley, leaning across the table toward Peyton. She fully expected him to start berating her at the top of his lungs, but his cold and even voice was actually more chilling.

“She tried to screw with me and Haley, Peyton,” he spit out. “Tried to get between us with her bullshit. I told her I wouldn’t forget. So I knew a few of the judges. So. I didn’t pay them off or any shit like that. I just put a little bug in their ear. They didn’t pick her,” he shrugged dropping back against his own chair. “More due to lack of talent on her part than anything I said I’m sure.”

“I’m sure,” Peyton puffed.

“I warned her, nobody screws with me and Haley. She…”

“Okay Tony Soprano, take it easy, enough already,” Haley jumped in irritated. She’d always kind of knew he’d had something to do with Megan not making it, but tried to convince herself otherwise. She wasn’t the least bit happy with Megan and the crap she pulled, but she didn’t like Nathan messing with the stupid girl. It wasn’t worth that. Everything had turned out fine; he didn’t need to do anything.

He shrugged them both off going back to watching the crowd. Megan didn’t get near what she deserved as far as he was concerned, and he didn’t feel the least bit guilty over any of it.

The whole evening was beginning to feel like a glimpse into the future for her. It felt like their life in the spotlight was just beginning. She couldn’t get the smile off her face she was so happy for him. Nathan was the center of attention, garnering practically every award the team had to offer. The few he didn’t get, Lucas did.

She was proud of him, proud for him. He’d worked his butt off for the last four years, balancing basketball, and school, and her, and he’d been wonderfully successful at all of it. Taking everything in stride. She’d only had to manage him and school, now it was him, and law school and a baby and his career…she only prayed she could do it as well.

All the accolades were more than deserved. He was going to make it to the pros, he was going to get his degree, and he had her. So the baby was a bit unexpected…she couldn’t help but smile, couldn’t help but be happy about it, he acted like it was the biggest award of all.

She felt lucky. It was all going to work out. He was getting everything he wanted. She lightly bit at her lip as she beamed a broad smile, enthusiastically applauding with everyone else when he received the conference MVP award. Her smile only grew when he winked at her, his own smile stretched across his face, as the cameras snapped photo after photo of him and his trophy. She blew out a light breath…all she had to do was stay strong, and she’d get everything she wanted too.

“Hales come here,” Nathan smiled waving for her to come over and get her picture taken with him and his trophy. “I love you,” he whispered in her ear, dropping a kiss there, as he wrapped an arm around her resting his hand across her stomach, holding his award out with the other hand. They both smiled blissfully happy back at the cameras.

“Let’s get the hell out of here,” he chuckled pulling her back to the table so they could gather their things and make a quiet escape while the room was still abuzz with activity.

He had his arms wrapped snugly around her, holding her back into his chest. She couldn’t quit giggling at the way he kept whispering lusty comments in her ear while they waited for them to bring their car around to the front of the hotel that was hosting the banquet.

“Maybe we should have brought the ark,” she laughed watching out the glass door at the storm that raged on. The rain, the thunder and lightening hadn’t let up all day. They were going to have to float home if it didn’t let up soon.

Haley climbed into the passenger seat, pushing back the annoying stray hairs that because of the weather, had taken on a life of their own. She let go a long breath relieved she was only a short drive from her soft bed.

Nathan laid his handful of awards in the back of the SUV before climbing in beside her.

“Congratulations Mr. Bigshot,” Haley grinned pushing a soft kiss to his lips.

“Thanks. Thank you for going Haley,” he smiled back returning the kiss. “Let’s get you home so you can some sleep.”

“I’ll go for that.”

“Wow, that hit something,” Nathan mumbled about the crack of lightening that had just lit up the sky. He leaned up into the window shaking his head at the bolts that seemed relentless.

“Where’s my CD case?” Haley asked flipping open the glove box and console, bending over to peek under the seat.

“I think it’s in the backseat.”

“What’s it doing back there?” she grumbled unhooking her seatbelt to climb over the seat to get it.

“What the heck Haley. Sit down,” Nathan grumbled back. “Sit,” he ordered as the light turned green and he pressed on into the intersection. “Son of a bitch!” he literally jumped in his seat, flinching at the blinding lightening that seemed to streak directly into the transformer on the other corner causing sparks to fly in all directions.

The block went black. The light went black. The only lights seemed to be coming from the car to their right. The one he didn’t see. The one that didn’t see them. The one that just slammed squarely into the side of their car.

Chapters 23 - 24

1 - 3 :: 4 - 7 :: 8 - 11 :: 12 - 13 :: 14 - 15 :: 16 - 17 :: 18 - 20:: 21 :: 22 :: 23 - 24 :: 25 - 26 :: 27 - 28 :: 29 - 32 :: 33 - 35 :: 36 - 37 :: 38 - 39 :: Epilogue