By Kate
CHAPTER FOUR – Compromising Hearts
“So how long are you planning to avoid him?”
She stopped playing with the salad in front of her and looked across the table at Lucas. “What?”
“You heard me.”
“I’m not avoiding him. I’m over there everyday. You know that, Luke.”
Lucas nodded. “Right, right. You just happen to come over when he’s at physical therapy, or asleep, or at the doctor’s.”
She shrugged. “Timing’s everything.”
“Come on Hales,” Lucas said with a sigh. “You’re not fooling anyone. Least of all Nathan.”
“Luke, I told you I’m-“
“He needs you, Hales,” Lucas said softly, but firmly.
“I know that!” she said, her voiced laced with frustration. “I know he needs me to provide for his care, and to handle all of the business stuff and I’m-“
“No, not that,” Lucas said, shaking his head. “He needs you. You. He misses you.”
She stared at Lucas, not knowing what to say. She missed Nathan too, but after their confrontation, she just couldn’t face him. Clearly, he knew something had gone on between them, and that she was keeping something from him. He would keep asking and she couldn’t tell him.Rather than repeat that confrontation over and over again, she had taken the coward’s way out and had started to ‘conveniently’ miss him during her visits to the house. She stopped by when she knew he wasn’t going to be there and left him things, along with short, impersonal notes. She hated it, but she just didn’t know what else to do.
“And I need you, Hales.”
“What are you talking about?”
Lucas grimaced. “Remember Nathan when we first encountered him? Back in high school?”
How could she forget? That Nathan had been. . .a jerkish, mean-spirited ass. And she was holding back on that description. Neither she nor Lucas had liked that Nathan much. Of course, they had both come to realize that his ‘ass persona’ was really more of a defensive façade than anything.
“Yes,” she answered. “Why?”
“He makes appearances,” Lucas said, still grimacing. “Frequent appearances. And this version is much, much worse Hales.”
“What?”
Lucas nodded. “Yeah, this one also has the whole brain-injury, frustrated-at-life and pissed-off-at-the-world part of him thrown into the mix too.” Lucas looked at her seriously. “You need to talk to him, Hales. Otherwise I’m moving out.”
“Lucas! You can’t just-“
“Hales, I love Nathan. You know that. He’s my brother but my God! This past week has been like my first year on the team with him. The early part of that, you know when he was just unbearable and all I wanted to do was kick his ass.”
“Is it really that bad?”
“Yes,” Lucas said simply.
She sighed. “Luke, you know he’s going through a lot. He’s-“
“I get that, O.K.? I do. That’s why I’m sticking this out. That and because I know you need me to do this for you. But he’s. . .he’s been. . . .difficult is just too mild a word for it. Ever since you started avoiding him, he’s gotten worse and worse. Ornery doesn’t even begin to describe it.” Lucas looked at her gravely. “You need to talk to him Hales ‘cause I can’t stick it out much longer. I’m guessing he can’t either.”
She shoved her plate away in frustration. “What the hell am I supposed to say to him, Luke? He wants to know about his past. . .about our past!”
Lucas looked at the table for several long minutes before he responded. “Why don’t you just tell him then?”
“W-what?”
Lucas nodded. “I’m serious, Hales. Just tell him. Why not?”
“Because the doctor said-“
“Screw the doctor.” Lucas sighed. “Look, Dr. Glennon is a great neurosurgeon. I have the utmost respect for him and we owe him big-time for helping Nathan like he has, but I just. . .I don’t think his advice is very good. I mean Nathan’s not an idiot, Hales. He knows something more than friendship went on between you guys. And the more you resist in confirming it to him, the more it seems to be hurting the both of you.” Lucas shook his head. “I just don’t think that anything that hurts you two like this is good advice. Or something that you should continue to follow.”
A part of her agreed with Lucas. And yet. . . “And what am I supposed to tell him, Luke?”
“The truth,” Lucas said simply.
“I wish you would stop saying that!” she cried. “The truth is not that easy here! Which ‘truth’ am I supposed to tell him? We’re talking almost 10 years of ‘truth’ here!”
“Haley-“
“I mean, do I tell him that we’re engaged?” she continued, just letting all the frustration burst forth. “Or that we used to be married? Do I tell him about the divorce? Or why we divorced? And everything else?” She ran both hands through her hair agitatedly. “10 years of ‘truth’ is not that simple!”
“Hey, hey,” Lucas placated, as he laid a calming hand on her arm. “It’s O.K. I’m sorry, I-“
“Do you think I like doing this? Do you think I want to? Do you think I want to keep pretending that he and I are nothing more than friends?” She drew in deep breaths, hoping to stop the sob welling inside her throat. “I hate it! But I just don’t know what else to do!”
“I know.” Lucas looked at her. “But he’s not gonna give up. When he’s not acting his emotions out on me, he’s trying to get information from me. He’s getting pretty good at it too.” Lucas sighed. “He’s gonna find out sooner or later. It would be better if he found out soon. . .and from you.”
She knew Lucas was right. Nathan was bound to find out about them. He probably already knew it on some level, otherwise, he wouldn’t be pushing this. And while she knew that telling him would resolve some of their issues now, she also knew it would only raise more difficult ones. And she definitely didn’t know if either she or Nathan was prepared to handle those issues.
~*~
It took her a day.
A day and one very angry phone call from Lucas, who had given her an ultimatum, before she had finally managed to will herself to go see Nathan. Even then she took the longest, slowest route to the house that she knew and sat in the car for a good 15 minutes before she got out.
The walk from her car to the door seemed to take an eternity. And by the time she had let herself in, she could not only feel her heart thumping against her chest painfully, but she could hear it as well. She wouldn’t have been surprised if others could hear it too. It seemed so loud.
She didn’t call out to him. And she knew that Lucas had already left. He had told her as much during their call. ‘Need to blow off steam,’ was how he had put it. She could only imagine what had happened between him and Nathan.
She had seen Nathan at his worst, and she was probably the only person who knew how to handle him in that state. Everyone else either wanted to kill him, or get as far away from him as possible.
She made her way into the living room quietly and found Nathan on the couch, flipping through the TV channels rapidly. It was clear that he wasn’t really watching. His posture was tense, and his leg, now out of the plaster cast, and in a ‘soft’ brace-like cast, was propped up on an ottoman. His wheelchair was nowhere in sight, but the aluminum crutches he had to use in its stead, were within reach of him on the couch.
“Hi,” she said softly.
He jumped slightly at the sound of her voice. He turned and she saw him wince at the movement. His face, which she could have sworn had lit up briefly when he had seen her, quickly transformed into an unreadable mask before he turned back to the TV.
“Haley,” he offered in greeting. He flipped it to ESPN, and pretended to be interested in the baseball game airing.
She drew in a deep breath. She knew this wasn’t going to be easy. And this only served to make her realize the bleakness of their ‘new’ reality even more. Nathan, the ‘old’ Nathan, used to always try and make things easier for her. Sometimes even at his own expense.
She made her way around the couch and sat down. “So I heard about your latest blow-up with Lucas.”
He barely glanced at her. “Really.”
“Nathan,” she half sighed his name. “I know this is hard for you and all but-“
“No, I don’t think you do, Haley,” he cut in, his voice harsh.
“Look, I-“ she stopped abruptly. She had tried to rehearse what she had wanted to say to him and each ‘version’ had sounded horrible to her. And nothing going through her mind right now sounded any better.
“Don’t bother,” he said dismissively. “We can just go back to everyone treating me like some childish idiot who can’t be told anything.”
“That’s not fair.”
He shrugged. “It’s the truth.”
His words stung her. But she knew the reason they stung was because they were true. They were treating Nathan like a child. And she could see how insanely frustrating that was for him.
She knew she had to tell him. He had a right to know didn’t he? And yet. . . .
“Nathan,” she said softly, trying to get his attention. He stubbornly continued to stare at the TV screen. She exhaled sharply. “Nathan.”
He turned and looked at her then and she forced herself to meet the full force of his gaze. He was beginning to look a lot like his ‘old’ self. The bruises were gone from his face, and his hair was growing in nicely. She could still make out the scar on his head, but that too, was fading quickly. Pretty soon, he would be walking again, and all physical reminders of his accident would be but a memory.
Memories. She stumbled over the word in her mind. That was what was causing all of these problems. Almost ten years worth of memories. But she and Nathan had never been about the past. If they were, they would have never gotten together in the first place. They would have let the past, filled with ugly memories between Karen, Deb, Keith and Dan, which had spilled over to Nathan and Lucas, stand in their way.
But they hadn’t.
Because they were about the moment. About living in it. That was one of their strengths. They had this ability to tune out the rest of the world and its pressures and just. . .be. Sure, the world intruded. . .sometimes harshly, sometimes rudely. . . .but above all else, they had always managed to find a way to just be together. Right in the moment.
Why should this be any different? She thought back to her conversation with Lucas. She couldn’t give Nathan back 10 years of memories even if she wanted to. No matter how much she explained, she could never explain it all.
She recalled Dr. Glennon’s words then.
The best advice I can give you is to look at this as a new start. A new beginning and go from there.
And suddenly she knew. She only hoped that she could convince him of it as well.
“Look, I’m sorry,” she said softly. His eyes held her own unwaveringly. “You’re right. We. . .I. . .have been treating you like a child. And you certainly don’t deserve it.”
She watched as the tension drained out of him then, like air from a punctured balloon. “I just. . . .”
“I know,” she said, nodding in understanding. “It’s your life. You have the right to ask about it. And to have people give you answers. Especially the people who care about you.” She drew in a deep breath. “But just think about it for a minute Nathan. Are you ready?”
“What?”
“15 years is a long time. A lot can happen in 15 years. A lot of good things. . .but bad things too.” She looked away briefly before making eye contact again. “Are you ready to deal with all that? The ups, downs. . .the good, the bad. . .everything?”
She could see him processing her words. “I just. . .I want you to understand why Dr. Glennon advised us against telling you about the past. Sometimes, things happen that are just too hard to deal with. But at least you get time to deal with it. No one has ever had to deal with 15 years of. . .everything all at once.”
He looked down, and fidgeted with the clasps of the brace on his leg. “I still. . .I want to know. I need to know.”
She sighed. “O.K.”
He looked at her in surprise. “O.K.?”
She nodded. “You have a right to know.”
“But?”
“I just. . .” She shook her head. “Will it change anything?”
“Yes.”
“Are you sure?” she asked, doubtful. “Remember when I told you that you and Lucas were close? Did that change how you felt about him? Did that make you instantly like him or even see him as your brother?"
He pondered her words and she could see that they were having an effect. “No.”
“So how would anything else be any different? Just knowing something isn’t going to change how you feel. About anything. . .or anyone.”
“It might,” he said stubbornly.
“Yeah,” she conceded. “And it might also just make things more confusing. Can you handle that?”
More fidgeting with the clasps. “I-I. . . .don’t know.”
Relief washed over her at the opening he gave her. She was hoping he would at least give her this much to work with. She did want to tell him. She knew she needed to. But she didn’t know where to start or even what to say. 10 years was too much time. And they had been through so much.
But the solution that had come to her in that moment of desperation and helplessness had given her a way. As much as she knew she should tell him, she just wasn’t ready. She didn’t know if her heart could take it if she were to tell him and have him look at her like he was. . .trapped. . .or worse yet, with no emotion at all. She was sure that would destroy her completely.
But this, if she could convince Nathan of it, it gave her a way to give Nathan what he wanted, but without destroying herself in the process. At the moment, it seemed to be the only solution that might work for the both of them. The only solution she knew that would let her protect her heart a little. “How about another compromise then?”
He looked at her warily. “Does it involve a nurse?”
“No nurse involved,” she said, smiling. “And speaking of, I just wanted to say ‘Thanks’ for limiting your um, attitude problem to just Lucas.”
“Attitude problem?”
She waved her hand in dismissal. “Argument for another time.”
“Can’t wait,” he said wryly.
“So the compromise?”
He sighed. “Let’s hear it.”
She took a deep breath. “We stop worrying about the past.”
“What? That’s not-”
“Just hear me out, O.K.?” she cut in. “Look, Nathan, obviously the past is important. I’m not saying we forget it. I’m just saying that, for now at least, we stop worrying about it. Let’s focus on now. This moment, right here, right now. We focus on getting you well.”
“But that’s-“
“And if the past comes up,” she continued. “If it comes up in the natural order of things, we’ll deal with it then. But we deal with it from the perspective of the present.”
“And that means what?”
“That means that from now on, if you have a question about the past, I’ll answer it. Or Luke will. Or whoever. We won’t actively try to keep it from you. But you don’t actively try and seek it out either.”
“But I. . .how can I not actively seek it out? I lost 15 years of my life, Haley!”
“But you still have the rest of your life ahead of you,” she said gently. “And if you spend most of your time looking backwards, you won’t get anywhere.” She looked down at her hands. “When you were in the hospital, in that coma, all I was praying for was for you to wake up, Nathan. I wanted you to just wake up and get another chance.” She looked at him and could see that her words were making an impact. “You got that second chance. This is a new start for you. Don’t waste it by looking back.”
“It’s not that easy,” he said quietly.
“I know. That’s why I promise there won’t be any more. . .avoiding. But I want you to move ahead too. It’s not gonna do anyone any good to have you just trying to piece the last 15 years of your life together.”
“I just can’t. . .”
“I get it. I do.” She met his gaze, not bothering to censor the emotions she knew was playing across her features. “But you have to understand that whatever happened in those 15 years, for a lot of people, that’s in the past. It’s been dealt with. And dredging it all up again, having to deal with it all over again, it’s. . .it’s hard. For everyone.”
“Including you?” he asked quietly, blue eyes blazing with understanding.
“Yes,” she said, and involuntarily winced when her voice cracked on that single word. She drew in a deep breath to get her emotions in order. Falling apart now would do no one any good.
He stared absently at the TV screen for several long minutes. “And me moving ahead, is that gonna be by myself?” He looked back at her. “Or with you?”
She wanted desperately to say ‘with me’ but she had to be brutally honest now. That was her only hope. Their only hope. “Both.”
He nodded, taking her answer in. “So if I agree, if questions come up, you’ll tell me?”
“I’ll tell you. Or whoever else will tell you.” She met his gaze, sending him a silent plea. “But you promise to try and move ahead with your life. Live for the now, for this moment.”
He sighed heavily. “One last question.”
“O.K.”
“Are you gonna stop avoiding me?”
His question caught her off-guard. “I-I. . .”
“’Cause I’ve missed you these past few days,” he said honestly. She caught the note of vulnerability in his voice and her heart felt a sharp spasm of guilt.
“I’ll be by,” she said softly. He looked over at her questioningly and she smiled. “When you’re here. . .and conscious.”
He smiled at her answer, his eyes flashing with happiness. She felt a familiar twist in the pit of her stomach and had to look away quickly. She swallowed, telling herself to not ruin their fragile, just-brokered truce. “Besides, I think I may need to move in here to keep you and Lucas from killing each other.”
He grinned. “Really? Is that all it would take? Me threatening Lucas’ life?”
“Do not get any ideas!”
He chuckled. “Just a thought.”
“Right,” she said, smiling at him knowingly. “But just in case it isn’t, in the spirit of our new compromise, I’m gonna ask you to do something for me, O.K.?”
“What?”
“Lay off Lucas?”
“I thought you said you didn’t care if we argued? That you even expected us to argue?”
She shook her head. “I didn’t say I expected you to argue. I said it didn’t surprise me when you do. But as for you two butting heads to the point that you each are threatening the other with bodily harm. . .” She stopped because Nathan had the oddest expression on his face. “What?”
He shook his head. “It’s. . .I just. . .it felt. . .strange. Like. . . “ He looked at her quizzically. “Did we have this conversation before?”
“What?” she asked, confused.
“It’s, um. . .it just feels like I’ve had this conversation with you before. I mean not this exact conversation but you know. . .a similar conversation. Like you’ve told me to lay off Lucas before.”
She couldn’t help it. Her ever-optimistic heart surged with hope. And just as quickly, her head put a stop to it. She couldn’t afford to indulge in false hope. “Actually. . .”
“Truthful answers remember?” he said gently, though his expression was intensely serious.
“Right.’ She sighed. “Yeah, actually I have warned you off of Lucas before. Many times.” She smiled. “And for the record, I’ve warned him off of you too.”
His face relaxed at her honest, unguarded answer to his question. “You were the referee huh?”
“Against my will a lot of times but yes.”
“I thought you said Lucas and I got along.”
“You do,” she said smiling. Not having to actively avoid answering his questions anymore seemed to have lifted a huge burden off her shoulders. This compromise, born in a moment of desperation-fueled insight, might actually work. For both their sakes, she hoped so. “And you did. That doesn’t mean that you don’t argue. Constantly sometimes.”
He chuckled. “Well, can you blame me? Come on, you have to admit, Lucas can be a-“
“Do not finish that sentence!” she warned, but her stern tone was completely off-set by her amused expression.
He laughed and she soon joined in. In that instant, all things seemed right. If she really wanted to, it would be all-too-easy to fool herself into thinking that everything was as it should be. Her heart, despite the trauma it had and was enduring, still wanted nothing else. It was urging her to grab onto that illusion. If only for an instant. An instant would be enough her heart lied.
It was so tempting. The Nathan sitting across from her looked very much the same. The lingering physical scars from his accident aside, it was the same smile, the same blue eyes and the same face she had grown to love so much over the years. He sounded the same. He even acted the same sometimes. He was by all appearances ‘her’ Nathan.
Yet he wasn’t. Surface similarities couldn’t cover up the deeper differences. Illusions were dangerous her rational and protective head told her. They made you forget reality, and forgetting that now would only lead to heartbreak and disaster.
Illusions belonged to the world of dreams. And she didn’t, she couldn’t, believe in dreams. The dreams she had, they were in the past now. And just as she made Nathan promise to move forward, to stop looking back, she too had to do the same thing.
The only problem with that was, her heart wasn’t quite ready to give up on those dreams yet. Her heart wanted to believe. Needed to believe. And in instances like these, her heart was proving to be quite a match for her head.
CHAPTER FIVE – The Past from The Present
“Sorry, man,” Lucas said, coming into the living room from the direction of the stairs. “Couldn’t find the game. I guess we’re stuck with NBA Basketball again.”
He shrugged. “I don’t mind. Just means I’ll get to beat your ass. . .again.”
Lucas chuckled as he settled into the seat next to him on the couch. “Yeah, yeah. I’m getting better though.”
“I’ll spot you 10 points,” he said with a grin.
“Pity points?” Lucas asked, sounding insulted. “Just for that I’m definitely gonna kick your ass today.”
“Do you two ever do anything else but play with that thing?”
They both turned to find Haley standing there, holding a large shopping bag and looking at the plasma screen which was now hooked up to a Playstation2 system, with a mixture of annoyance, amusement and resignation.
“We watch T.V.,” Lucas said with a smile.
“Great,” Haley said with a shake of her head. “You know, there are other things to do besides watch T.V. and play video games.”
“Really?” he injected. “Like what?”
“Reading?”
He grinned. “Was I ever a big reader?”
“Well. . .” she hedged.
He glanced over at Lucas who gave an imperceptible shake of his head. “Right.”
Haley made a face at Lucas. “Just for that, you’re not getting cake, Scott!”
“Him or me?” he asked innocently.
“Both of you!” she retorted as she headed for the kitchen.
“Aww, come on Hales,” Lucas protested half-heartedly. His attention was more focused on setting up their game though.
“Yeah, come on,” Nathan chimed in. Since their compromise, the interaction between the three of them seemed to be much easier, much smoother, and he was definitely enjoying it. “You can’t use cake as blackmail. That’s just wrong.”
“So is ganging up on me,” she called back.
“Think she’s serious?” he mumbled to Lucas.
Lucas shook his head. “Nah. She’ll give up the cake eventually.”
“I heard that Lucas Scott!” Haley poked her head over the counter top separating the kitchen from the living room. “Now you’re definitely not getting any cake! And dinner’s not looking good for you either!”
He laughed softly as Lucas turned and made a face at Haley. His latest compromise with Haley had definitely helped to settle things down. The underlying tension that always seemed to be brewing just beneath the surface between him and everyone else had dissipated noticeably.
His interactions with Lucas went back to its easy camaraderie. He had to admit that Haley was right. Having Lucas stay with him was helping them re-build their relationship. He was learning more and more about Lucas, and in turn, more and more about everything else. His mother. Lucas’ mother. Their father. Bits and pieces of his past here and there.
Then there was Haley.
He only wished things with Haley were as easy as things were with Lucas. On the surface, they were definitely getting along well. Those awkward pauses between them were gone. And their interactions flowed much easier. . .almost naturally at times.
But underneath the surface, there was. . .something. He still had millions of questions. But he only asked some of them, despite the fact that their new compromise allowed him to ask as much as he wanted. And Haley was living up to her end. Any questions he had, she had answered. Some more willingly than others. But he didn’t ask the questions he really wanted to.
A part of him was scared. Her words had affected him. He really didn’t know if he could handle 15 years of memories. Some of the things he had found out were already hard to deal with. Like his parents’ divorce. When Lucas had told him that a few days ago, it had been hard to take in. He wasn’t even sure he had fully grasped it yet.
But more than that, something about how Haley had proposed the compromise had struck something deep inside of him.
There had been a sense of desperation to it. It was as if she wasn’t quite ready to deal with things either. And he just didn’t want to push her. Haley had been there for him since he had awoken into this strange, confusing, and scary ‘new’ world. She had tirelessly taken care of him, and stayed by him always. Even during the worst of it, she had stayed.
He felt as if he owed her something in return for it. And if that something was to go easy on figuring out his past, then he was willing to do it. He wanted to know about his past, desperately at times, but he couldn’t do it if it was at her expense.
“I knew I should have gotten rid of that thing when I had a chance,” Haley mumbled as she walked back into the living room.
He looked at her with feigned shock. “You were gonna get rid of my Playstation? That would definitely have been an abuse of my power-of-attorney.”
She rolled her eyes. “Are you two planning on eating dinner any time soon?”
Lucas smiled. “One game, Hales.”
“I’ll take that as a ‘no’ then.”
“What’s for dinner?” he asked looking over towards the countertop where she had placed some take-out containers. Haley had taken to coming over and bringing dinner with her several times a week these days. And he really looked forward to those times. The three of them sitting around, eating, laughing and talking felt so comfortable. . .so familiar.
She made a face at the both of them. “Well for you two, I’m thinking leftovers. But I did bring a couple of steaks, rice pilaf and grilled veggies.” She grinned. “And a chocolate and raspberry cake.”
He looked at Lucas for a beat before he tossed his game paddle down. “Sorry, man. A guy’s gotta eat.”
Haley laughed. “So Luke. . .leftovers for you?”
Lucas regarded the both of them with a sour expression. “That wasn’t fair, Hales. And thanks for the back-up there bro!”
He grinned as he reached for his cane. His leg was healing remarkably well and he had been off his crutches for a few days now. “You expect me to pass up on that kind of a meal? Besides, the game’s on pause. We’ll just eat fast and get back to it.”
“Ohh!” Haley exclaimed. “I give up.” She looked at Lucas. “And here I was, hoping you’d be a good influence on him.”
He looked at her in indignation as he limped towards the dining table. “Hey! What’s that supposed to mean? That I’m a bad influence?”
“Of course not,” she said casually as she began transferring the take-out containers to the table.
He settled into a chair. “I think I’m hurt.” He glanced at her and saw her suppressing a laugh. “Oh sure, laugh.” He reached for his plate, focusing on the food, but still talking. “Yet, I do seem to recall you not being too thrilled with Lucas at times. Like when we were at the docks and you were complaining about how he was running from his problems.”
He didn’t notice the silence at first but when he did, he looked up to find both Haley and Lucas looking at him with stunned expressions. “What?”
Haley didn’t move, only staring at him with eyes that radiated both disbelief and hope. Lucas finally managed to find his voice and asked softly,
“Are you remembering that?”
That’s when it hit him. He could clearly recall a conversation with Haley about Lucas and something about Lucas running away. If he focused hard enough, he could even ‘see’ flashes of her in his mind’s eye. Yet, much of what he was recalling was just bits and pieces of conversation in his head. He hadn’t even been aware that he was recalling a ‘lost’ memory until then.
It happened quite a bit these days. He would get flashes. . never complete recollections. And they were always ‘scattered.’ Bits he would remember visually, while others he would recall in sounds and voices. They were never complete, full-fledged recollections. That was why he wasn’t even sure if they were old memories. He often wondered if it was just his mind making up something to ‘fill in the blanks’ in his head. If it wasn’t his psyche’s way of coping with his loss.
He looked at Haley, who was standing completely still, her expression still frozen in that look of disbelief and hope. “Was that. . .am I remembering something?”
Ever so slowly, she nodded her head.
His voice caught in his throat. “I-I. . .I’m remembering?”
Haley suddenly dropped the container that she was carrying then. “Oh! God, I’m sorry!” She quickly dashed into the kitchen, but didn’t reappear again with a towel like he had expected.
“Haley?” he asked in concern.
“I’ll be right out,” she called back, her voice sounding strange.
“Should we?” he asked Lucas, who was bent over, picking up the container that Haley had dropped. Fortunately, it was one of the containers containing the baked potatoes so there wasn’t much of a mess.
Lucas shook his head. “Just give her time.” He grabbed a cloth and wiped the small spill before he came over and sat down in the chair across from him.. “I can’t. . .I can’t believe you’re remembering something man.”
He nodded absently, concerned about Haley. “It’s weird. It feels like. . .like a dream I’m recalling. I’m not even sure it’s real.”
“This one is,” Lucas said with a smile.
He looked at Lucas questioningly. “So what were you running away from?”
Lucas smiled wryly. “Which time?”
He returned his brother’s smile, glad for a return to the easy bantering. “So that’s like a what, pattern with you or something.”
Lucas made a face. “O.K. For the record, I only did that twice! Twice in 26 years isn’t exactly a pattern!”
“So what’d you run from?”
“First time? Girls.” Lucas said, looking uncomfortable. “I, uh, messed up a friendship between two girls-“
He laughed. “Oh, man. You were a player!”
“No, I wasn’t!”
“You were, Luke!” Haley said, returning from the kitchen. Her voice was light and teasing, but he noticed that her eyes were slightly red and shiny, as if she had been crying.
He chuckled, deciding the best course of action was to just maintain the carefree tone of conversation. “You, a ladies man. Who would have thought?”
“Hey, don’t sound so surprised! It’s not like you inherited all the charm in the family you know.”
Haley looked at Lucas reprovingly. “Oh, so now you’re proud of what you did to Brooke and Peyton?”
“Brooke?” he asked slowly as a memory flashed through his mind. “That wouldn’t be Brooke Davis would it?”
Haley looked at him questioningly. “Are you remembering Brooke now?”
He frowned. “Yeah, I mean, you know. . .she lived like two blocks from us in Tree Hill. We went to the same school growing up. My Dad and her Dad played golf together so she would come over at times.” He frowned. “She was kind of annoying as a little kid. Cute but annoying.” Haley chuckled while Lucas smiled and shook his head. “Are we talking about that Brooke?”
Lucas nodded. “Yeah.”
“You hooked up with Brooke Davis?” he asked incredulously.
Lucas smiled at him knowingly. “Let’s just say she grew up right.” Haley rolled her eyes at Lucas’ comment which made him chuckle.
“So you, Brooke and her friend huh?” he asked.
Lucas sighed. “It was a mistake, all right? I realize that and I-“
“Ran away,” Haley injected. She smiled when they made eye contact, but he had caught that strange expression on her face just a second before.
“And I came back!” Lucas protested.
“Then you ran away again!” Haley retorted. He laughed as she settled into a chair next to him and began to pass the food around. Soon, they were all eating and good-naturedly teasing each other. Just like any other dinner. And yet, that. . .something. . .that was always lurking beneath the surface. . it was becoming harder and harder for him to ignore.
~*~
Haley was in his arms.
And there was something so perfectly right about that.
At first, he had thought he was dreaming. His dreams have been such jumbled messes that sometimes they literally startled him awake at night so upon stirring into semi-consciousness, he wasn’t quite sure if he were awake or still dreaming.
But there he was, stretched out on the large, comfortable couch in the living room, with Haley sprawled across him, their legs intertwined, her head resting comfortably on his chest and her arm draped across his stomach. He looked down at her in surprise for a few seconds before last night’s events came back to him.
They had dawdled over dinner, and then had decided to all watch a movie together. Not soon after the movie had started, however, Lucas’ girlfriend, Anna, had called and Lucas had gone upstairs to take the call. That happened on most nights, so neither he nor Haley had been surprised when Lucas hadn’t returned downstairs for the rest of the night.
He had been surprised, however, when Haley had nodded off about halfway into the movie. She had looked so peaceful that he hadn’t wanted to disturb her, so he had simply gone to his bedroom to retrieve a blanket and had draped it over her sleeping form before he settled in to finish the rest of the movie.
The movie must have been a snoozer, literally, because the next thing he remembered was jolting awake late at night to a blue screen. He had only stopped long enough to reach for the remote to shut of the T.V. before falling back asleep.
Now here he was. Sometime in the middle of the night, they had found their way into each other’s arms. He looked down at her, sleeping so peacefully and was again struck by just how. . .right. . .this felt.
It was as if waking with her in his arms was how it was supposed to be. Perfectly normal.
That was when he was hit with one of those scattered, confusing ‘flashes’ that he wasn’t quite sure were recollections or something else.
This one was of Haley, hair tousled, and a lazy smile on her lips. She was snuggling against him and laughing. She looked completely happy. . .content.
He shook his head. Was that a memory? Or just his mind playing tricks on him?
He looked down at her again and couldn’t resist the urge to push some strands of hair away from her cheek. She was beautiful. He had thought that the moment he had opened his eyes in that hospital room to see her, eyes shining with relief and joy, smiling at him. And he hadn’t changed his mind since. If anything, she seemed to have grown more beautiful since then.
He had no trouble admitting that he was attracted to her. If it were any other situation, he would have made a move by now. But this wasn’t ‘any other situation.’ He wasn’t just a guy attracted to some girl. And Haley was definitely not ‘some girl.’
Just then, he felt her stirring. Soon, her big, brown eyes fluttered open and slowly focused on him.
He smiled. “Hi.”
In that brief, unguarded instance, where sleep still had a grip on her, she openly returned his smile. “Hi.” Then consciousness abruptly snatched her and she literally jumped up, as if touching him burned her. “Nathan! Wha-”
Unfortunately when she had jumped, their legs were still intertwined and she had come down, hard, on his still-healing leg.
“Ow!” he yelled out involuntarily.
“Oh my God!” She quickly tried to disentangle herself from him but her hurried actions only made it worse.
“Ow! Haley!”
“Sorry!” She finally managed to separate herself and stumbled away from him. “God! I’m sorry! Are you O.K.?”
He rubbed his leg. “It’s fine. Don’t worry.”
Suddenly, there was the sound of footsteps flying down the stairs and a disheveled-looking Lucas, wearing a T-shirt and pajama-bottoms, rushed in. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Haley standing there, hair tousled from sleep and last night’s clothes completely rumpled.
“Haley?” Lucas looked between the two of them, confused. “W-what are you doing here?”
She nervously ran her hands through her hair, trying to straighten it. “I-I, uh. . .I think I, um, fell asleep last night.”
Another look between the two of them before Lucas visibly relaxed. “I just, uh, I heard some yelling and. . .” He stopped and shook his head. “O.K. I’m just gonna go get ready for the day then. You staying for breakfast Hales?”
“I, um. . .”
Lucas nodded. “I’ll see you in a bit.” He smiled. “Ms. Clark’s due any minute so you guys might want to clean up too.” With a final look, this one distinctively amused, at the both of them, Lucas retreated back upstairs.
“Oh, God,” Haley mumbled as she began to retrieve her shoes.
“Haley-“
“Nathan-“ she began at the same time.
They both smiled awkwardly before he nodded. “Ladies first.”
“I just, uh. . .” she stopped and shook her head. “Are you sure your leg’s O.K.?”
He knew that wasn’t what she was going to say but he nodded anyway. “It’s fine.”
She smiled briefly. “That’s. . .good.” She finally managed to put on her shoes and was running her hands through her hair nervously again. “So, listen, I better head out of here.”
“What? Why?”
“Why?” she repeated, surprised.
He nodded. “Don’t you want to stay for breakfast?”
“I just um. . .I need to go.”
He smiled, enjoying how flustered she was around him all of a sudden. A part of him knew he shouldn’t and yet, she was looking so entirely adorable that he just couldn’t help it. “Why?”
She sighed. “Are you going to keep asking me ‘why’ all morning?”
He chuckled. “As long as you keep giving me the same answers, yes.”
She shot him one of ‘those looks.’ “I really do need to go.”
He sighed. “O.K. But Lucas will be disappointed that you didn’t stay for breakfast.” He saw her struggle against it, but the smile slowly spread across her face, lighting up her features. Yep, Haley James was one beautiful woman.
“I’m sure Lucas will deal with it.”
He limped over to where she was. “I’d be a little disappointed too.”
Her cheeks flushed but she kept her voice steady when she responded. “You’ll deal too.”
He grinned. “True. But that’s only because I know I’ll see you later. . .right?”
He saw a struggle going on in her eyes but she finally nodded. “Right. Later.”
She smiled awkwardly at him before she made her way around the couch and towards the door. He heard her call to Lucas to tell him ‘good-bye’ and then the sound of the front door opening and closing.
And again, that ‘flash’ appeared in his mind. Haley, in his arms, looking so content and happy. For that one brief instant this morning, he had seen that same look. And it had felt so right. . .so familiar.
If he didn’t already have this intense desire to re-discover his past, every moment he spent with Haley only served to fuel that desire more. What he had glimpsed in that quick moment this morning had felt to him as if it had been an important part of his past. Of his life.
Now that he was remembering. . .or at least it seemed like he was. . .he only hungered for more. He hungered for more of those ‘flashes.’ But most of all, he hungered for that feeling of complete happiness that he had felt for that one, all-too-brief instant.
CHAPTER SIX –The World Intrudes
****Flashback****
“Hey.”
His voice startled her and she nearly fell off the stone bench. “Ahh!”
“Whoa!” he said, reaching out and grabbing her elbow to steady her.
“What’s with you Scotts and sneaking up on people?”
“Sorry.”
She stared at him in surprise. “You’re here.” She flinched at the stupid obviousness of her words. “I-I mean. . .” She stopped, drew in a calming breath and tried again. “What are you doing here?”
He shrugged. “Summer break seems to compel me to come to Tree Hill to visit.”
“I don’t mean in Tree Hill, I mean, you know, here.”
Another nonchalant shrug. “I’d figure this was a good place to find you.”
“You were looking for me?” she asked, surprised.
“You think I come to Tree Hill to visit my parents?” he asked with a teasing grin.
She smiled despite herself. “I’m glad you’re here.”
He seemed to take a moment, as if gauging her sincerity before he returned her smile. “It’s always good to see you, Hales.”
An awkward pause followed before he made a gesture, silently asking if he could sit besides her on the bench. She nodded, and scooted over to make room for him.
“How are you?” he asked her quietly once he had settled in besides her.
“You talked to Lucas,” she said knowingly.
He nodded. “He called me last night.”
She sighed. “So, what do you think of his plans?”
He shot her a wary look and took a few moments before answering. “I don’t know. But it looks like his mind’s made up.”
“Yeah, it is,” she said quietly, staring out at the river rolling by. The docks had always been one of her favorite places.
“I guess you don’t like his plans much huh?” he asked gently.
She shook her head. “No, I don’t.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s just his way of running away again.” She expelled a short, quick breath in frustration. “He’s just using his shoulder injury as an excuse.”
“What’s he running from?”
“Dealing with the injury, not being able to play basketball competitively anymore, his personal life.” She shook her head. “Take your pick. It’s not like he even needs a reason. He’s run away from his problems before.”
“His personal life?”
“He didn’t tell you he broke up with Kristin?”
“No,” he said. “We didn’t talk that long actually. I was kinda tired from the flight. When did that happen?”
“A week ago.”
“What happened?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I just know Lucas wants to move clear across the country in a few months.”
“Maybe a change of scenery will do him good,” he said quietly, not looking at her.
“Like a change of scenery did you good?” she blurted out, her tone more accusing than she intended.
He looked at her, and she could see that her words had stung him. “Haley-“
“I’m sorry,” she said quickly, almost dismissively. “Forget it.”
“No.” His voice was still soft, but she heard the hurt in it. “That wasn’t fair.”
She sighed. “I know.” She met his eyes. “I’m sorry. Really.”
He shook his head. “Damn it, Haley. You know I had to leave! And you know I didn’t want to. But what else was there for me to do?”
“Nathan, I said I’m sorry! Can we-“
“If I had stayed here, we would have just-“ He jumped up, agitated. “We wouldn’t have been able to salvage anything from our relationship. There was too much. . . .” He looked at her, eyes challenging. “You know that. Me taking the scholarship offer from Maryland was the only way we managed to save our friendship from everything. So for you to compare what I did to what Lucas is doing is just. . .it’s wrong.”
She sighed. She didn’t know what was wrong with her. But ever since Lucas had told her he was planning to leave UNC for California and UCLA, she had been an emotional mess. She didn’t know why, but she was feeling abandoned. Lucas was the only one of their ‘group’ to have stayed in North Carolina with her.
The plan, when they had been young, wide-eyed idealistic romantics was to have everyone stay in North Carolina. But in the end, only she and Lucas had. She got a partial academic scholarship to UNC and Lucas had decided to take UNC’s basketball scholarship offer.
Brooke had taken a year off to ‘tour’ Europe and last she had heard, was somewhere in California, pursuing an acting career. Peyton had gone to New York to study art. Tim, Jake and all the others had just scattered across the country. And Nathan. After they had divorced their senior year, he had chosen to take Maryland’s scholarship offer instead of UNC’s. More than a few people had been disappointed that the ‘Scott brothers’ weren’t going to be star freshmen for the Tarheels. One person in particular had outrightly blamed her.
But Nathan was right. He had done it mostly for her. . .for them. Their feelings had been too painful and overwhelming at the time and she knew if they had attended the same college, they would have irreparably destroyed whatever had been left of their relationship after the divorce. Over the years, however, they had managed to become friends again.
Perhaps that was why she was so upset about Lucas’ leaving. If Lucas hadn’t stayed in Tree Hill, she and Nathan might not have repaired their relationship so soon. But it was Lucas, through his insistent demands for Nathan to visit Tree Hill and then his blatant attempts to get the three of them together, that had started Nathan and herself talking in the first place.
She felt as if Lucas was her remaining tie, not only to Tree Hill, but to Nathan as well. And the fact that he was now leaving, left her feeling completely adrift. She had made good friends in college. . .even had a few romances. But those relationships had never come close to feeling like. . .like family to her. And that’s what her relationship with Lucas and Nathan had felt like. Family. She was closer to Lucas than she was to her own brothers. . .or sisters. And for a time, Nathan had been her family, in every sense of the word.
So Lucas telling her that he wanted to leave had been a blow. And Nathan seemingly agreeing with it certainly wasn’t helping. She felt as if she were ‘losing’ them both. . .and she just didn’t know what to do.
She stood up and went over to where he was standing, staring out at the water, his tall, muscular frame rigid with tension. “Nathan.” He didn’t move, but a small tilt of his head told her he was listening. “I’m sorry. I really am. I. . .I don’t know why I said that. It wasn’t fair. .or right. I just. . .I. . .”
“Hales?” he prompted, turning to her in concern.
She shook her head, fighting to keep her emotions in check. “I just. . .I hate that everyone I love is leaving.”
He reached out then, in an all-too-familiar gesture and brushed some loose strands of hair from her face. “No one’s left you, Haley. Just because people move away doesn’t mean they’re not gonna be there for you.”
She tried to smile and failed miserably. “Yeah. It’s just. . .not the same.”
“I know,” he said softly. “But you know Lucas is always gonna be there for you if you need him right? It’s just a 6 hour plane ride from here to L.A.”
“Right,” she said. She offered him a ‘brave smile’ and turned to stare at the river once again.
“Hey.” His voice was gentle but something in it made her turn and meet his eyes. “You know I’m always here for you right?”
“Sure.”
“I mean it, Hales,” he said, his blue eyes boring into hers. “No matter what. I’m here for you. Always.”
****End Flashback****
“Haley?” the phone on her desk squawked, jolting her back to the present. “Sean Richards is on Line 1.”
She shook her head, as if to clear it before she reached over and pressed a button on her phone. “Thank you, Cindy. I’ll take it.”
She rubbed her head tiredly, the memory of that day still fresh in her mind. She had thought back to that conversation often since Nathan had revealed that he could recall bits of it yesterday. It was odd that he remembered that conversation because that was the start of the journey that had led to their reconciliation and engagement.
Her heart so desperately wanted to believe that it was significant in some way. But her head told her to not read more into it. After all, her head argued, ‘Always’ came with an expiration date in this case.
She sighed and pushed the button to line one. “Hey Sean.”
“Hi Haley,” the voice coming from her speaker phone greeted her warmly. “How are you?”
“As well as can be expected,” she answered out of habit. She found this answer seemed to preclude any further prying from most people.
“And Nathan?”
“He’s, um, doing better each day.”
“Good, good,” Sean said. She could sense that there was something he wanted to discuss with her but didn’t quite know how.
“What’s up, Sean?” she asked, giving him the opening he clearly wanted.
There was a pause, followed by a sigh before he finally answered. “Um, I just talked to Rick Edelson and-“
“Rick Edelson?”
“Assistant to the Kings’ General Manager?”
“Right,” she replied.
“So, um, Rick says the team wants to hold a press conference this week. . .” Another pause. “Um, with Nathan.”
“What!”
“Haley-“
“No, no way!” she exclaimed. “Sean, no.”
A tired sigh. “I don’t think we have a choice here, Hales.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Rick said that the Kings are getting swamped with requests for. . .something on Nathan’s situation and that the weekly, standard ‘he’s showing steady progress’ press releases aren’t cutting it anymore.”
“Well, that’s-“
“Look, Hales, you’re doing a great job with everything. I mean keeping Nathan out of the press and all but. . .” A pause. “Maybe it’s time.”
“For what?”
“To get him out there. The press are already wondering why he’s been AWOL since his accident. So are his fans. The Internet is buzzing with all these rumors.”
“I don’t care about any of that,” she said, annoyed. “I care about protecting Nathan. He is not ready to do a press conference! Are the Kings crazy?”
“They’re under a lot of pressure.” A beat. “So am I.”
“Meaning what?”
“I’ve been getting a lot of calls from Nathan’s endorsements lately. They want to know how their. . .investment is doing.”
“Then tell them he’s doing better,” she said impatiently.
“Haley, we might not have a choice here. The rumors are saying he sustained a career-ending injury and the Kings want to put a stop to that. Nathan’s endorsements would like to put a stop to it too. They need the public, especially the press, to just see that Nathan is OK.”
“But he’s not!” she cried, frustrated. “Sean, we’ve talked about this. When he was recovering in the hospital, I thought we agreed that keeping Nathan’s memory loss under wraps would be the best thing for his career. And now you want him to go meet and greet the press? That’s going to do more harm than good!”
“Maybe,” he conceded. “But right now, I don’t think there’s any other way.”
She sighed. “Sean, Nathan has kept you as his agent all these years because he knows you have his best interests at heart. I know that too. That’s why I can’t believe you’re actually considering this! Having this press conference could be career suicide for Nathan!”
“I know,” he said, sounding tired. “But it seems like the more we keep him under wraps the worse it’s getting. Usually when there’s an injury you get some kind of photo-op with the athlete in the hospital or with his doctor or something. Obviously we couldn’t do that with Nathan then. And now the questions are popping up.”
“Couldn’t we just issue a personal statement or something?”
“They would just treat that as another press release from the Kings or my office. In other words, they’d ignore them.” He sighed. “I’m sorry, Haley. We need Nathan for this.”
“Even if I were to agree, Nathan’s not up to it. He doesn’t remember Sean! How’s he supposed to answer questions without giving his condition away?”
“I’ll be there,” he replied. “And I’ll do most of the talking. They really. . .they just need to see Nathan. After this, I swear, Nathan can go back into hiding for as long as he needs.”
She rubbed her head. “I don’t know.”
“Haley, if we don’t put an end to these rumors now, it’ll just get worse.” He paused and she could hear him tapping his pen agitatedly. “Look, we’ve known each other a long time. And I think we both respect the other for always looking out for Nathan’s interests so I don’t think I’m being out of line for asking you to trust me on this.”
“I trust you, Sean,” she said sincerely. And she did. Unlike some of the smarmier sports agents that she had encountered, Sean Richards may well be a real-life ‘Jerry Magure’ who genuinely cared about his clients beyond how much in royalty they could generate for him. That was one of the reasons Nathan had gone with Sean, even though the ‘big boys’ of sports management had wooed Nathan with increasing intensity as his NBA draft date had approached. “I just. . .don’t know if Nathan’s up to this.”
“Like I said, I’ll be there and I’ll do most of the talking. If things get dicey, we’ll cut it short. I already talked to Rick and he says whatever we come up with is fine, just as long as we get Nathan at the press conference.”
She sighed. She knew Sean was right. They didn’t have much of a choice here. Nathan’s career was on the line, and while no one knew at this point whether he would even play basketball again, she wasn’t going to close that door prematurely. For all the heartache and pain that basketball had caused him in his life, and by association in hers, she knew that in that deepest part of him, Nathan loved the game. And in the past year and a half, he had really come into his own as a professional.
So if he decided he wanted to come back to the game, to this career, she had to make sure it was still there for him. As much as she didn’t want to at the moment, she would protect it for him.
“O.K. I’ll talk to him.”
~*~
“I don’t know why I agreed to this,” Nathan mumbled, nervously fidgeting with his tie.
She quashed her own nervousness and smiled at him reassuring. “It’ll be fine. You heard Sean, just let him do the talking.”
He nodded absently, looking around the room. They were sitting in the office of the Kings’ General Manager, waiting to be called into the press room for the conference.
Nathan had been reluctant at first when she had talked to him about the idea, but after she had convinced him that it would be ‘fine’ he had agreed. After that, everything had been set up fairly quickly. So now, here they were, waiting as if they were the sacrificial lambs about to be led to the slaughter.
Or at least Nathan was.
She usually avoided these things. She was always comfortably at home, watching his press conferences on T.V. like everyone else, but this time, Nathan had insisted that she be there with him. That was the only way he had agreed to participate in this whole thing. Lucas would have been there as well, but he had to fly to L.A. for a meeting with his bosses. Telecommuting only went so far.
She really wished Lucas could have been there, if only to provide Nathan with real support. She felt completely useless because she was as jittery and as nervous as he was. So far, she was managing to cover it up well but with each passing second, she felt her control slipping.
She glanced over at him again. By all appearances, he looked great. Amazing even. He was wearing one of her favorite suits. . .a dark blue silk suit with pale blue dress shirt and a dark blue tie with yellow accent. The whole outfit complimented his dark complexion and accentuated his blue eyes beautifully.
If he had to do nothing but sit there and look good, he would pass with flying colors.
But it was a bit more complicated than that.
“I was drafted by the Wizards?” he asked suddenly.
“Yes.”
“Then traded to the Kings two years ago?”
“Nathan,” she said trying with all her might to sound as reassuring as possible. “You’ll be fine. If you get confused or anything, just take a sip of water and Sean will jump in, O.K.?”
Again, he absently nodded before he went back to nervously glancing around the room.
She hated this. She really did. She hated putting Nathan in this position. It wasn’t as if he didn’t have enough to cope with, but the last few days had been a study in stress management for them. After Nathan had agreed to the press conference, he had been put through a crash course on his career as a basketball player. She, Lucas and Sean had spent most of their time reciting his stats, awards and accomplishments on the courts to him every chance they had. She wondered if Nathan managed to absorb it all, but he didn’t complain despite the tediousness of it all.
The only ‘good’ thing about it all was the fact that prepping Nathan for his press conference took up so much time and needed so much effort from everyone that neither she nor Nathan had much time to dwell on the oddness of their relationship. She didn’t know if she was grateful that she didn’t have the time or energy to think about what it meant that Nathan could remember things about her. . .about them.
She was certainly grateful that she didn’t have time to dwell on what it had felt like to wake up in his arms that morning. That quick moment when all her protective mechanisms hadn’t been up had given her a peek at what used to be. That instant had been enough to awaken a deep, intense longing within her. Something that she had fooled herself into thinking that she had been able to suppress.
“This tie is driving me crazy,” Nathan grumbled, fidgeting with it.
She smiled. Nathan had always been a jeans and T-shirt or warm-ups type of guy. He owned some gorgeous suits that he wore only when absolutely necessary. She stood up and indicated for him to come over so that she could fix it for him.
Even in heels, he still towered over her so he bent slightly as she adjusted the knot of his tie. His hand came to rest on her hip, steadying himself as the other hand leaned on his cane.
“I’ve always thought it was funny how men tied a noose around their necks each day,” she said teasingly as she loosened the knot a bit so that it wasn’t so constricting.
He grinned. “That’s not helping.”
She smiled. “Sorry.” She straightened out the knot and then smoothed his tie before tucking it back inside his suit. “There. Perfect.”
“Thanks,” he said softly, as his eyes met hers.
It was then that she suddenly noticed just how close they were. They were standing only inches apart. She could feel his breath against her hair and the warmth of his body. She longed to just lean herself in against her, as she had done so many times before. She suddenly became acutely aware of his hand on her hip. Her own hands seemed paralyzed against his chest. She could feel the taut muscles of his chest as his breathing seemed to change.
She was close enough to smell the subtle scent of his aftershave. Close enough to see the color of his eyes shift ever-so-slightly. Close enough to just reach up and touch his face. To just lean in for a kiss. At that thought, her eyes shifted to his lips, those full lips of his that-
You’re too close her head screamed at her.
But not close enough, her heart screamed. Louder. She swallowed, unable to move and not wanting to.
“Hey.” The sound of Sean’s voice at the door caused them both to jump slightly. “You guys ready?”
She looked up at Nathan and gave his arm a reassuring squeeze. “You’ll do great.”
He inhaled deeply and then nodded. “Let’s do it.”
~*~
She didn’t know when she began to breathe normally again. Probably after the 10th question that Nathan expertly fielded. Any concerns that she had had about Nathan being able to deal with the press slowly disappeared as he fielded one question after another with that trademark charm of his.
Some things just didn’t change.
It also helped that Nathan’s ‘reputation’ in the press as aloof seemed to be working for him today. He had always had a. . .distant. . .relationship with the press. He didn’t welcome it and had zealously guarded his privacy. Where he needed to deal with the press, he did so, but in a cool, detached, professional manner. And he had never, ever discussed his personal life. The press knew that and so far, no one was straying from asking him about anything other than basketball, his health or recovery. Which thanks to their extensive prepping, Nathan seemed more than able to handle.
No one questioned it when he didn’t elaborate on answers, because ‘Nathan Scott’ rarely did. He answered questions and moved on. So the Nathan now sitting in front of a packed room full of journalists, photographers, and TV camera crews was just like the ‘old Nathan’ as far as anyone could see. No one thought it odd that Nathan would answer a question with a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ and then proceed to the next question. That was how most press conferences or interviews with him usually went.
She could see, standing just off the side of the conference table where Nathan sat with Sean, the Kings General Manager and Head Coach, that they were actually pulling off this. . .charade. Nathan looked great. His outward confidence, which he hadn’t lost, coupled with that charm of his was winning over the press corps. He was definitively quashing any and all rumors that he had sustained a career-ending injury in the car accident.
“Mr. Scott,” a middle-aged reporter called out, directing everyone’s attention to one side of the room. “Before the accident, you had made mention of making some big changes in your life. Could you elaborate on that now?”
She froze. This was the moment she feared. An unanticipated question that Nathan was not prepared for. She looked at him anxiously, willing him to reach for his water glass so that Sean could field the question.
Nathan paused and then smiled. “I think that the past few months have brought more than a few life-altering changes for me so for now, I’m just gonna deal with the status quo.”
There was some nervous chuckling in the room, but the reporter seemed satisfied with the answer. She exhaled and nervously checked her watch. Almost 20 minutes had gone by. Would this torture be over soon?
“Mr. Scott?” a young reporter held up his hand to get everyone’s attention. “Is it true that you have someone else handling your business affairs?”
Nathan nodded. “Well, Sean here still handles most of my career decisions. He’s a great agent by the way.” Nathan paused to smile broadly at Sean who smiled back. “But after the accident, as you know I was incapacitated for a while so I turned over my power of attorney to a trusted friend. Since then, because of my rehabilitation, it’s just been easier to let this person continue to handle those things.” He grinned. “I’d figure it’s a pretty good deal ‘cause I can just sit at home and play video games while someone else deals with the bills and all that.”
Everyone laughed briefly before the same reporter continued. “Could we ask you who that trusted friend is?”
“Haley James.”
It was disconcerting, hearing her name reverabate through the small room. She was pretty sure that no one knew about her engagement to Nathan. They hadn’t announced it, and hadn’t planned on announcing it. They were only planning on springing it on the public after they married since marriage certificates were a matter of public record.
It was then that she realized what she, Lucas and Sean had overlooked. Too late, however, because another reporter chimed in,
“Haley James?” the reporter stood up, looking both intrigued and confused. “That’s the Director of your charitable foundation right?”
For the first time during the press conference, Nathan looked confused and glanced at Sean who somehow wordlessly communicated the answer to him. “Yes.”
“Isn’t she also your ex-wife?”
At that instant, it was as if everyone in the room faded away and only she and Nathan were left. He stared at her and she couldn’t look away from the confusion, hurt and anger she saw whirling in the intense blueness of his eyes.
