Intertwining

by Morgan

Chapter One

When my soul was in the lost-and-found

You came along to claim it.---Carole King, "A Natural Woman"

Haley sighed frustrated as she enviously watched all of her suitemates getting ready for yet another frat party. Supposedly the theme for tonight was “What I Want to Be When I Grow Up.”

“Should just be honest and call them “easy-access” parties,” she muttered to herself. Party starts at 10 pm in the fraternity lounge, BYOB, and oh, please wear as little clothing as possible. We don’t want to be making the brothers work too hard tonight,” Haley mocked in her best sleazy frat guy voice.

Apparently, one could actually aspire to be a Charlie’s Angel Haley noted bemusedly as one of her suitemates strutted by. Yep, everyone was hurriedly primping and polishing for yet another night of drunken debauchery (apparently this process took about three hours seeing as how it was 11 pm. and the girls had started their beautification routine at 8. Haley was always amazed that it took anyone that long to not put clothes on). Everyone except her that is. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to go to the frat party with the rest of them. Ok, so she didn’t. Sticky, beer-drenched floors, weird odors, and random sweaty strangers grinding on you to overplayed hip-hop weren’t exactly her idea of a good time. But she missed forgetting about all her responsibilities for just a night, laughing uproariously at jokes only she and her friends found funny. Haley used to have fun, really she did. Yet here she was. Alone again. Lately, trying to juggle everything: maintaining her GPA to keep her scholarship, her community service work, and her involvement with the band and wind ensemble, there simply wasn’t time anymore for weeknight revelry. Sighing a little louder this time, she remained behind as the last of her suitemates flitted out the door, giggling to the rest of the group about the hotness of Playboy Bunny costumes. Before they would at least ask her to join them but after rejecting their offers for Toga Fest, Dirty South, Tacky Prom and countless others they simply gave up.

“Pathetic, James, that’s what you are,” Haley muttered, once again, to herself. “Well, back to the books.”

Haley had just started her genetics problem set when she heard someone banging on the suite door.

“Probably one of the party animals forgot her ID again,” she concluded to herself, setting down her pencil and rising reluctantly from her chair. “Alright, that’s it, James! You really need to address this talking to yourself issue you seem to have.”

Flinging the door open, she noticed that the chest in front of her was decidedly male. Surprised, she looked up into the most captivating blue eyes she had ever seen.

“Most likely to be due to the homozygous inheritance of a recessive allele from both parents. Wow, I’m an even bigger nerd that I realized,” Haley marveled, that’s right, to herself.

And quite possibly the most frustrating smirk as well. Haley had a sneaking suspicion that this was the “sexy smirk” of which so many campus legends had been told. Rumor was that one flash of that alluring half-smile and girls suddenly went into panic mode rushing to find the nearest semi-private room before the man-beast had second thoughts and moved on to other, more willing prey. Haley was no expert on these things, but she was fairly certain that they weren’t discussing stock options in those rooms. Ahh, the infamous Nathan Scott, starting center for the nationally prominent Wake Forest Demon Deacon basketball team and lady-killer extraordinaire. Right now, Haley just wanted to kill him for interrupting her study momentum.

“Damnit people! How many times do I have to say it? Genetics is not going to study itself,” she muttered angrily under her breath.

Haley snapped out of overachieving daze and realized embarrassedly that Nathan was still standing at the door. Still smirking.

“Um, hi,” she ventured unsure, her voice scratchy in her throat.

“Hey, I’m Nathan,” he offered his hand to her, the smirk getting smirkier. “Is Erica still around?” he inquired gazing around her small body into the suite.

Erica was one of the suite’s more…How to put it? Outgoing residents. Blond, skinny, flirty, giggly and fond of wearing clothes that left little to the imagination, Erica was a top ten hit with guys everywhere. Haley was fairly certain that guys who were interested in girls like Erica were not likely to be interested in her. Haley had yet to meet a guy who wasn’t interested in Erica. This made the continuing presence of the “sexy smirk” puzzling. Clearly, no one had informed Nathan Scott that Haley James was not an appropriate recipient of the “sexy smirk.”

“I’m Haley. Nice to meet you. And it was really kinda unnecessary to tell me your name. Despite appearances to the contrary, I don’t in fact live under a rock. Nice game the other night, by the way,” Haley finally managed to choke out with a self-deprecating grin. “Oh, and Erica and the rest of the girls already headed out to Sig Nu’s party.”

“Well, it’s not really much of a party until I get there, now is it? I hate to leave my ladies hanging,” Nathan jokingly replied, his handsome face breaking into what Haley could have sworn was an actual smile for a split second. “Hey Haley, do you by any chance have Erica’s cell phone number?” he asked her, the smirk back in full force. “I should probably make sure she is actually at the party before I go and try to catch up with her."

Haley looked down at herself inquisitively. She was still wearing the same worn, gray sweats and green t-shirt with Karen’s Café across the front in black. Her rather unremarkably brown hair was down not doing much of anything special. And what little make-up she might have had on had been washed off hours ago. Maybe she had misread the “sexy smirk.” Haley figured it was probably a very easy thing to do when you could count the number of guys who had ever made an attempt to seduce you on one hand. And the one had been speaking German, so for all she knew he had been trying to force a large shipment of produce on her. Maybe she was, in fact, gazing upon a wonderful example of the “can you get me another girl’s number smirk.”

“Sure, I think I have it written down in my room. You can come in if you want,” Haley said, returning to her studying sanctuary.

Stepping into her room, Nathan chuckled at the huge black-and-white print of Paul Newman in a scene from The Hustler that hung prominently above her bed. He looked at her movie collection and noted Cool Hand Luke, The Hustler, The Sting, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, and The Long, Hot Summer among her extensive movie collection. “Fan of Paul Newman?” he asked her teasingly, watching her graceful movements rather intently as she rummaged through her desk drawer for her address book.

“Favorite actor,” she replied with a slight laugh, turning around to look at him. “But what gave me away?”

“Oh, I’m just psychic that’s all. I also know you’re a fan of the Rolling Stones,” Nathan joked, as he heard her CD player switch songs from Let It Bleed to Gimme Shelter.

"Ok, well that’s just creepy. And I’m also apparently alot more disorganized than I thought,” Haley laughed, her brown eyes shining. “You don’t have to stand the whole time, you know,” Haley told him, noticing his tired posture for the first time.

“Thanks. Rough practice tonight. Coach is really riding our asses to get ready for the Duke game. You know how it is,” Nathan replied gratefully as he sank into her chair.

“Yes, yes, I know exactly how it is. I’ve wowed crowds everywhere with my basketball skills,” she sarcasticallyt answered him, a wide grin on her face. For a moment, blue eyes met brown and the air seemed to shimmer. Then the blue eyes closed.

Nathan had to snap out of this and get his game-face on. He was Nathan Scott, damnit! Girls practically showed up at his doorstep naked, offering homemade brownies and answers to his exams. He did not find girls’ company interesting, unless it involved the two of them in various states of undress. Nathan Scott did not make jokes to girls unless they were a thinly-veiled attempt to achieve the aforementioned state of undress. “I just meant living up to people’s expectations can be tiring sometimes.”

“Yeah, I definitely understand how that is,” she answered thoughtfully, ceasing her frantic search through her desk for a moment to look at him. “You sure you want to go to the party?”

Confusedly, he glanced up at her and smirked once again. Except this time his eyes seemed a little brighter somehow. “Why, you have a better idea on how I should spend my time?”

Blushing, Haley moved quickly to explain. “No, I just meant you look exhausted, that’s all,” she stuttered out, embarrassed.

“Well, like I said, people expect things of me, he replied with an air of resignation.

Pausing to study his face, Haley couldn’t find a response. Not one that would have any truth to it, at least. “I finally found Erica’s cell phone number. Sorry, it took so long.” She watched regretfully as his long limbs unfolded rather entrancingly from the chair. Damn her and her putting things back where they belonged.

Nathan reached for the piece of paper proffered in Haley’s hand, his large hand encompassing her much smaller one for a second. Then he turned to leave. Hesitating at the door, he turned around and smiled at her. A breathtaking smile that sparkled in his ocean blue eyes. “It was nice to meet you Haley,” he said. And then he was out the door.

Haley leaned against the door, thoughtfully. “It was nice to meet you, too, Nathan,” she whispered to herself. “Surprisingly nice.”

Chapter 2

When the night is someone else's

And you're trying to get some sleep

When your thoughts are too expensive

To ever want to keep

When there's all kinds of chaos

And everyone is walking lame

You don't even blink now do you

Or even look away

So I try to be like you

Try to feel it like you do

But without you it's no use

I can't see what you see

When I look at the world

can't wait any longer

I can't wait 'til I'm stronger

Can't wait any longer

To see what you see

When I look at the world---U2. “When I Look at the World”

Nathan stepped into the crisp December air and paused to lean against the damp brick of the building. He closed his eyes and forcefully released the breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding. There had to be something wrong with him. Just had to be. Maybe he was even more tired than he had thought.

“Those extra laps certainly didn’t help at practice.” But then again I always do extra laps. That possibility was dismissed.

      Or he was coming down with that virus that was spreading across the campus. “I think that kid that always wears the pastel polo shirt coughed on me in accounting class today.” Nathan tried hard to remember the day’s events and was disappointed to realize that “Yachting John,” as Nathan liked to refer to him as, had definitely covered his mouth. “Ok, think, Nathan, think. There has to be something else. Something you’re missing. We’re going to come up with an explanation and fast. Oh, and then we’re going to stop talking to ourselves.”

      A light bulb suddenly went on in Nathan’s head. “Aha! I knew there was something funny about the meatloaf in the dining hall this afternoon. I always thought that one lady who worked there looked kinda shifty, always looking at people funny. There it’s settled. I have food poisoning and have become delusional.”

      After his hasty self-diagnosing, Nathan waited for the relief to come. The relief of knowing he wasn’t fully responsible for his actions, seeing as how he had been a victim of dangerous meat consumption. He expected to feel marginally better about the strange reason he had just been flirting with Haley only moments before, flirting with a girl who was still fully clothed and studied.

      “And had incredibly beautiful brown eyes,” the part of his brain Nathan felt it was wise to ignore the vast majority of the time interrupted. The part of him that secretly liked to sing along to the oldies station whenever he was alone in his car and do the word jumble in the morning paper. The part of him that loved the Wizard of Oz. “Damnit, man! You’re Nathan fucking Scott. Get yourself together. And stop talking to yourself, for god’s sake!”

      Tainted meatloaf or not, Nathan Scott did not flirt with girls like Haley James that was for sure. The scary part was Nathan wasn’t even entirely sure he had been flirting with Haley. Or at least he hadn’t been consciously thinking about it.  He hadn’t been planning the words, the looks, and the gestures the way he always did. Hadn’t been planning his moves five or ten in advance, analyzing how quickly he could get the girl in question into bed much like an expert chess player.

      Unintentional flirting also never occurred in Nathan-land because no matter what star-struck girls and envious frat guys might whisper about his campus reputation, Nathan was one of the most organized and ruthlessly driven people around. He had to be to keep his head above water. Far too many people...his parents, his coaches, practically everyone that had ever watched him play basketball from the time he was 3 and his dad had returned from a business trip, a fuzzy, soft, oversized basketball in his outstretched hand...pinned their hopes and dreams on him for him to lose focus. He was Nathan Scott and Nathan Scott always, always kept his priorities straight. He could never fail to keep in mind what was important. Winning a NCAA national championship and then getting drafted into the pros. That was what was important. At least he was fairly certain that was what was important.

      Although, sometimes he wanted more, wanted something else. He wasn’t exactly sure what. He couldn’t remember the last time he hadn’t know what he had to do, what was expected of him. He couldn't remember the last time he hadn't known without failing that he must always live up to the expectations placed on him. There may have never been a time in Nathan’s life that he was truly free to make his own decisions, free of everyone else’s expectations but his own. Some nights right before he drifted off into a sleep, a deeply buried part of him wanted something that was entirely his. Every time Nathan stepped onto the basketball court, ready for battle, countless others stepped on with him, with their voices constantly buzzing in his ear. “You’re the best, Nathan. Practice more Nathan. You must always be the best Nathan. Only losers lose Nathan. You’ll never be good enough Nathan. Practice more Nathan. You must always be the best Nathan. Always. Don’t ever forget that.” So Nathan did just that. He practiced longer and harder than everyone else, rested, and then practiced ever more. He showed up early and stayed late. Nathan Scott always followed the plan. The plan was simply to be the best. Always.

      Nathan’s life was nothing if not a constant series of carefully-executed plans. No time to think, no time to feel, no time to want anything else except in those few, silent moments before sleep claimed him.

      Nathan woke up every morning at 7 to run and lift weights, took a shower, ate breakfast, went to his classes, went to practice, stayed after practice to work one-on-one with the coaches, went to study hall, finished up his work, showed his face at a few campus parties, downed a few beers, and hooked up with whatever half-dressed female caught his eye that night, and then left to exhaustedly collapse into bed and drift easily into a boneless sleep. Rinse, recycle, repeat. Girls like Haley James did not fit into Nathan Scott’s carefully devised plan. And unintentional flirting (no matter how skillful) with girls like Haley James most certainly did not fit the plan.

      “Even if she has a great body. And her hair smells like apples.” His brain interrupted once more. Apparently some part of him had failed to be notified of Nathan’s plan. This had to be remedied immediately. “Damnit, no! You will stop thinking about Haley this second. Forget the way you almost lost your cool and how you were about to lose your status as the biggest player on campus. Think about…what’s-her-name…think, Nathan, think... oh, Erica..that’s right.

      “You certainly don’t have any trouble remembering Haley’s name.” There was that voice again. Taunting him. Threatening to turn the plan to ashes.

      “Shut up! The plan is good. I am basketball and basketball is me. Basketball, basketball, basketball.” Haley’s wide, genuine grin still popped into his mind, and was followed shortly after by the familiar pull in his groin. “That’s it Scott. You need to get it together.” With a final sigh, Nathan composed himself, and began the short walk across campus, hoping to drown tonight’s spin out of self-control in cheap beer and someone’s soft thighs. Didn’t really matter who

      “Think about Erica, she’s safe. You know how to deal with Erica. Erica fits into the plan. Erica, Erica, Erica.” Nathan chanted continuously to himself, visualizing Erica’s practiced smile and hearing her practiced laugh, breathy and soft, but hollow somehow. Most girls didn't knowo him. Nathan had no pretenses about himself. He knew he was good-looking, that he could deliver the words girls seemed to need to hear effortlessly, pretend to be interested in getting to know them. And the only true thing about all his relationships was that he didn’t know them and they didn’t know him. Nathan preferred to keep it that way. Emotions were not going to help him realize his goals. Emotions were not going to get him a championship, or drafted into pros. Nathan found it more than a little ironic that after only fifteen minutes of knowing Haley, he now knew far more about her than any other of the countless girls he had slept with. That part of him that he only let speak in the dark solitude wanted to know far more.

      Nathan had known for years, instinctively it would seem, how to make women swoon. Turning them into nervous, giggly school girls had come as easily to him as basketball had. All of the guys on campus that idolized Nathan for his prowess on the basketball court and equal, or perhaps, grater prowess with the ladies would have killed to know his secret. It was simply really. There was a plan. If anything was true in Nathan’s life it was the plain fact that there was always a plan. Girls came to him, he made a few suggestive comments, smirked at them a little, and he got laid. Very neat, very clean, and he was in control at all times. Nothing ever left his lips without him knowing exactly the impact it was going to have on the girls. There was simply no room in the plan for girls like Haley James because Nathan suspected she was more complicated, far more knowing, far better than the seductive lines he had developed over the years. Feared that she would see past the exterior he had worked so hard to create.

      Nathan had always been an expert at making girls blush; making them so nervous they could barely recall their own names. He had always owned his sexuality. He didn’t believe in playing games, or being anything less than straightforward with his conquests. He enjoyed the chase; he enjoyed the sex, but the part afterwards? He had never stuck around long enough to find out. Basketball took up far too much of his time for him to invest his emotions in any of his sexual escapades. Thinking hard as he crossed the quad and watched the usual display of drunken girls in tiny skirts laughing loudly as they stumbled into Polo wearing guys, Nathan couldn’t remember when the last time a woman had made him nervous, as he wiped his still slightly damp palms against the rough fabric of his jeans. It had probably been in the fourth grade, when he had eaten a cookie before dinner and was afraid he would crack under his grandmother’s interrogation. That was before anyone had realized that Nathan Scott had the potential to be a legend on the basketball court. Before the praise and adulation started and the love started being conditional on his rebounds, assists, and points.

      Nathan hadn’t missed Haley’s slightly bashful gaze as he had left the room, but he wondered if she caught the way his voice trembled slightly. Probably not. Nathan knew better than anyone that he was composed mostly of legend and lore. He was consistent and he was predictable. Nathan Scott was not a mystery. Everyone knew Nathan Scott. He said something one time; he said it all the time. He did something one time; he did it all the time. Everyone knew exactly what Nathan Scott was. Basketball, girls, and nothing else. He wasn’t complicated, wasn’t complex. Nathan Scott did not get nervous around girls. Especially girls like Haley James. At least that’s what he let everyone believe, himself included.

      Another part of him, the part that couldn’t look himself in the eyes some days, whispered, “Because she’s too good for you. She’d see right through all your bullshit”

      Reaching the party, Nathan presented his ID to the brothers at the door, grinning at a few girls. He stepped into the party and quickly caught sight of Erica grinding with some nameless guy, and watched with disinterest as she practically had sex on the floor for everyone to see. Passing a few of his teammates, he slapped their hands. “Easy there Smith. One at a time, one at time.” Laughing at one of his teammates who currently had two girls draped across him, waging a war to be the flirtiest. Continuing across the room, he moved in between Erica and her dance partner, not really caring if it was rude. No guy stood a chance when Nathan Scott was around. He smirked at her, touched her arm, and did a noticeable once-over of her body. “You look good tonight. I’m just sorry I wasn’t here to appreciate you longer.” Erica gave out a practiced laugh, and leaned further into him. Nathan had finally regained control. “It’s getting kinda loud in here. What do you say we go somewhere a little more private?” Even as he left the pounding music behind, trying his hardest to concentrate on whatever Erica was whispering in his ear, trying to hone in on the way her body was pressed against his, he was left with an image of shining, brown eyes. And a smile that was real.

Chapter Three

All of us get lost in the darkness

Dreamers learn to steer by the stars

All of us do time in the gutters

Dreamers turn to look at the cars- - - Rush "The Pass"

Halfway through their trudge back across campus, Nathan mentally kicked himself for not realizing sooner that he had set himself up to be near Haley again, the very reason he had been so eager to find Erica in the first place. Erica was remained pressed to him, her fingers occasionally trailing up and down his arm. He was vaguely aware of the fact that she had been talking the entire time, stopping only to break into that laugh Nathan had come to loathe in a few short minutes. “Thank God Wake is tiny.  I might go insane if I have to listen to her much longer.”

They had already passed a few groups of people on their way, hopping from frat party to frat party, the girls looking at Erica enviously and the guys mirroring Nathan’s usual smirk. Nathan Scott was going to get yet another girl into bed. Routine, ordinary, common. Just another typical night at Wake Forest. Except Nathan had never been so eager to just have it over and done with, couldn't muster the energy to laugh at Erica’s jokes, or pay attention to her rambling, couldn’t even bring himself to pretend that he was interested in her. He wondered if any of the girls that had looked like they might’ve clawed Erica’s eyes out for the chance to walk in the presence of the great Nathan Scott knew the reason he picked Erica tonight. Because she was simple, she was safe, and she was the first female he had laid eyes on that night who would come willingly. Because he was Nathan Scott.

His idea to sleep with Erica to erase his nagging thoughts of Haley had seemed like such a brilliant one at the time. Unfortunately for his sanity, Nathan had conveniently forgotten the fact that Haley lived down the hall from Erica, that in some cosmic twist, Erica was the reason he had even met Haley in the first place. “Stupid, stupid Erica. Why the hell do you have to live with her? Not like you have anything in common. And why the hell are you so fascinated with a girl you just met? You’ve got this gorgeous girl willing to do anything and everything with you and all you can think about is some girl you’ve now known for less than two hours. Pathetic, Scott, that’s what you are.”

He was faintly conscious of the fact that, Erica had switched the topic of conversation, or more accurately, the topic of her monologues. Nathan wagered a guess that it might be the new cheerleading uniforms this time, and he nodded his head at what felt like appropriate intervals, not really hearing the words that were spilling from her mouth or caring to either. After what seemed an endless journey, Nathan and Erica finally arrived back at her suite. Now launching into full vixen-mode, she giggled seductively, her hands now laid flat against his chest, molding their bodies together. Nathan couldn’t help but notice that the light in Haley’s room was still on under her closed door, and that forgotten, hidden part of him spoke to him again. Even as he said the right words to Erica, made her shiver from pleasure, he wanted to leave her. Leave her and her false laughter and hollow words. Leave Erica, and the millions of girls like her and everything they expected of him, everything they expected him to be. Wanted to run like mad to that magnetic light.

But he didn’t because Nathan Scott had a plan. And he was going to follow his plan. Confusing thoughts about a haunting, auburn-haired girl or not, Nathan Scott was going to follow his plan and right now, the plan was to have sex with Erica. He didn’t have to think to have sex with Erica. He didn’t have to feel to have sex with Erica. He could just perform on auto-pilot and it would be amazing for her and good for him and that’s all anyone expected of him. So he did just that, fell into bed with Erica, going through the motions like he had so many times before. He suspected Erica enjoyed it, judging by her moans and the way her sharp nails clawed at his muscular back. Just another typical night at Wake Forest.

Nathan Scott had forgotten, had regained control. But as soon as they lay breathing heavily in Erica’s bed that seemed to grow increasingly more confining by the second, expecting to feel relaxed and relieved, all he could feel was trapped. Trapped by Erica’s bony leg that was currently draped across his, trapped by her incessant babbling. “Damnit, does she never shut up.” Even as that carefully built exterior of his answered her, smirked at her, lived up to all her expectations. Trapped by her awful pink flowered comforter which Nathan thought should get her arrested for being so fucking ugly. He had expected to feel relieved, and all he felt was trapped. Hearing a pause in the words spewing unceasingly from Erica’s painted mouth, Nathan seized this opportunity to slip wordlessly from the bed. Erica had fulfilled her obligation to him, but small-talk and cuddling was not part of the plan. He needed to return to his own bed, sleep, and try to forget. Then he’d start his routine all over again. Routines didn’t require thought. Routines didn’t require emotion. And he liked it that way. So he left Erica like he did every other girl. Every girl except the one he found staring at him knowingly, toothbrush in hand, breaking the palpable silence to chuckle slightly as they stood outside the suite’s bathroom door. Damn Haley James and her dental hygiene.

Haley had only thirty minutes of uninterrupted study time, determined to cram as much genetics information into her head as possible. Determined to shove Nathan Scott and his mesmerizing blue eyes out. But as hard as she tried, she couldn’t ignore the whispering, and moaning when the suite door opened. Even as she defined her vocabulary, chapter by chapter, words neatly written and perfectly spaced, she heard them. Couldn’t ignore the whispering and moaning, which although she couldn’t pick out every word, she imagined that he was telling Erica all the things she secretly longed to hear. Haley James was smart, Haley James was responsible, Haley James was a  good friend. Haley James took the trash out, and walked the dog, and was reliable. But sometimes Haley desperately wished to hear those pretty words, to be appreciated purely for her physical beauty. “Yep, ‘cause you’re a regular Gisele there Haley. Woo hoo hot stuff, kiddo.” She desperately wished to be appreciated as a woman, to be looked at with desire burning in his eyes.

And she most certainly could not ignore the panting, the moaning, and the cries of pleasure that drifted down the hallway when they slipped into Erica’s room. She couldn’t shake the images forming in her overactive imagination “Focus, Haley, focus. Don’t listen to them. Think about something else. Anything else.” Another moan reverberated from the other room. “Damnit! Fruit flies think about fruit flies. Fruit flies are not sexy. Fruit flies, fruit flies, fruit.” Another picture of Nathan and Erica, glistening with sweat, their bodies moving together, their limbs becoming tangled in Erica’s horrendous pink sheets. Obviously, thinking about fruit flies was not doing the trick. “Alright, Spanish verb conjugations. We’ll think about verb conjugations. Present tense first a, as, a...damnit! Verb conjugations just make me think of conjugal visits.” Haley berated herself for her extensive vocabulary. “Everyone thinks it’s a good idea to read a lot, expand your mind, blah, blah, blah. They’ve apparently never been trying to block out the fact that Nathan Scott is having sex down the hall from you. I hate you Mrs. Foster! Hate you and your alphabets and teaching me to read. Damn you!”

Then it was quiet.  Haley listened carefully, and Haley sighed audibly relieved that the torturous, torturous sound show was finally over. And she fervently prayed to any higher power that might take pity on her for there not to be an encore performance. Grateful for the silence, Haley gazed lingeringly at the safety of her open books. Gazed longingly at the sanctuary they represented to her. “Not going to get anything more accomplished tonight, I suppose. Time to call it a night.” And she rose stiffly from her desk chair, her back screaming in agony at being forced to hunch over her books, and her note cards, and her problem sets for hours. Rose reluctantly, toothbrush in hand, and padded down the hall to the bathroom. Haley James was responsible and Haley James always brushed her teeth.

Haley expected to brush her teeth, floss, and splash a little water on her face. Then she would return to the solitude of her room and hopefully sleep. Sleep without dreaming about Nathan Scott, his blue eyes and his tantalizing smirk. She expected to break free from the ridiculous fantasizing she seemed to be doing tonight. She did not expect to open the bathroom door and come face to face with those blue eyes again. “Damnit Haley! Did you really need to brush your teeth?”

Both of them shuffled their feet nervously, Nathan ran his hand through his hair, and Haley’s toothbrush suddenly became fascinating. Remembering her manners, Haley smiled brightly at him. “Well, Nathan…Scott, is it? We meet again.” She joked lightly, stepping fully into the hallway.

“Yea, I was just, um—

“With Erica.” She finished, the awkwardness back in full force, now doing an Irish jig over her frazzled nerves. “At least one of us was having a good night.” Haley offered him a wry smile, not fully meeting his gaze.

“What?” Nathan’s eyes grew wide.  His ears had to be deceiving him, because he could’ve sworn Haley had made a half-attempt at teasing him about his sexual escapades with Erica.

“Um, I don’t know how to tell you this Nathan but the walls are kind of thin.” Was all she could manage to say before the tips of her ears turned red and she felt it would be best just to travel the remaining few feet down the hall to her room, lock the door and stop herself from saying anything else that was going to mortify her that night.

Nathan was unfamiliar with the sinking feeling of guilt that was settling like a weight deep in the pit of his stomach. He had sex plenty of times before, numerous times when other people were just doors away. And now because Haley James had looked at him with those big brown eyes, he felt regret for the first time. “Ok, this night has just become a disaster. So you’re going to leave and go back to your own room.” He followed Haley down the hall, the short space stretching endlessly before him.

“You’re leaving?” She questioned him, somehow finding the courage to look him in the eyes again.

“Yea, I have to get some sleep. Since all the guys are done with finals, Coach is letting us celebrate by having a double practice tomorrow. I take it you’re done studying?”

“For the night at least.  My last final’s tomorrow.”

“No rest for the weary, huh? I had my last final in accounting today actually.” He smiled at her, a smile she triumphantly reckoned few of his endless party sluts had ever seen.

“Haha, exactly. I think I’m going to watch Conan as a reward for my hours of forcing genetics into my brain.”

Nathan’s eyes grew wide and his voice took on the eager tone of a kid in a candy store. “Conan? Man, I love that show! I haven’t gotten to watch it in the longest time because I’m usually asleep before then.”

“You seriously go to bed that early? I just thought…”she studied him questioningly”

“I know, I know. But I have to get as much sleep as I can to keep up my energy for basketball.”

“So Nathan Scott is not the reckless party animal he’d like everyone to believe.” Haley knew somewhere deep inside her that this exchange should be more awkward. That she should be tongue-tied, less joking, more bashful. But she felt at ease around Nathan, she felt comfortable.

“No. But don’t tell anyone.” He leaned his tall frame against her door.

“Don’t worry your secret’s safe with me.” Then she uttered the words she would kick herself for even as they were coming out of her mouth. “You’re welcome to watch the show with me.” 'Ok, Haley, he does not want to watch with you. You heard exactly what he likes tonight, and it definitely does not involve you and TV.'

“Really? I’d love to.” 'Damnit Scott! You’ve been trying to forget about this girl all night and now you’ve agreed to sit in a darkened room with her for an hour. You’re really are a dumb jock!'

Nathan and Haley settled onto her bed, their legs hanging over the edge (well, his at least), their backs against the wall.

“Hey, do you want something to eat? I think I have Crackerjacks.” Haley jumped off the bed to rummage underneath.

Her perfect ass was teasing him, torturing him. He had such moronicideas sometimes. Agreeing to be in such close proximity to her tantalizing form was just one of them. “What? Oh…um, Crackerjacks…don’t you know those things are…” he hoped she didn’t catch his overt staring.

“Like, a thousand calories? People keep trying to tell me that.” Haley rose from the floor and dusted herself off, two boxes in hand.

“It’s nice that you actually eat though. I used to love Crackerjacks when I was a kid, but I try to watch what I eat for basketball.”

She thrust the box into “I’m pretty sure one box isn’t going to hurt. Go ahead, Nathan, live a little.” Peering over him, she unconsciously placed her tiny hand on his broad shoulder.

Nathan was positive he had stopped breathing. 'She’s touching me, she’s touching me. I am so fucking pathetic. She has her hand on your shoulder and you’re about to hyperventilate.' “What? You have your own box. Get away from mine.” He began a teasing game of keep-away, which wasn’t much of a challenge considering he towered over her.

“You’re mean,” Haley pouted, her bottom lip pushed out. “I just wanted to see what prize you got. My older brothers always used to steal mine from me. That’s probably why I still eat Crackerjacks, so I can keep the prizes all to myself. It’s sort of sad that I’m still so enthralled with 10 cent bracelets and lame jokes.” 'Stop rambling Haley, stop rambling. And oh dear god! Stop touching him!' she told herself as she became aware that her hand was wrapped around his shoulder, and somewhere in the midst of her enthusiastic dissertation on her continuing obsession with Crackerjacks she had rested her chin there, her hair brushing softly against his jaw line.

'She’s still touching you. Deep breaths, Scott, just keep breathing. She’s just a girl, just like all the others.' “Ha, and you’re the Queen of England.” Pulling a decoder ring from the cardboard box, Nathan tilted his head to the side and gave Haley a winning smile, holding out the ring to her. “Here you are Madame. I have this diamond ring for you.” Gesturing wildly and doing a horrible Italian accent.

“Why thank you kind sir.” Her skin tingled, and her breath suddenly became out of reach, as she slipped the ring onto her finger. Neither of them breaking eye contact for what seemed like an eternity. Haley came to her senses and looked away, removing her hand. “Oh look! No talking during Conan.”

“I...”

“Shh!” Haley interrupted, clapping excitedly, bouncing up and down on the bed. “The show’s starting!”

Starting it was indeed.

Chapter Four

Oh baby don't it feel like heaven right now

Don't it feel like somethin' from a dream

Yeah I've never known nothing quite like this

Don't it feel like tonight might never be again

We know better than to try and pretend

Baby no one could have ever told me 'bout this

The waiting is the hardest part

Every day you see one more card

You take it on faith; you take it to the heart

The waiting is the hardest part

Well Yeah I might have chased a couple of women around

All it ever got me was down

Then there were those that made me feel good

But never as good as I feel right now

Baby you're the only one that's ever known how

To make me wanna live like I wanna live now---Tom Petty, “The Waiting”

      It was only four days into the start of the spring semester, only four days since Haley had returned home from Pennsylvania and already her professors were trying to kill her with the work load. Granted they attempted academic homicide every semester but it usually wasn’t so immediate. “Ok, screw my plans to go to law school. That’s it. I’m dropping out of Wake and going to spend my life as an unloved and underappreciated sales representative at Petco.” Haley was, without a doubt, having the worst day of her young life. Her alarm didn’t go off, spilled coffee on her favorite pink-and-white striped shirt, surprise quiz in organic chemistry, found out all of her friends had classes when she had time to eat lunch. So here she was, alone in her room, just her and her best friend, Mr. Organic Chemistry Textbook, who was currently being ornery and difficult. Haley slammed her notebook down on her desk and let out a groan of frustration.

      “Whoa, there. I’m pretty sure that notebook never did anything to you.”

And there was that pair of blue eyes, twinkling at her with barely concealed amusement and the muscular form they belonged to leaning against her doorway. The very same pair of blue eyes Haley had spent her winter break unsuccessfully trying to forget. “Yea, I get it you don’t like me. Haha. Let’s torture poor Haley with Nathan Scott,” Haley mentally cursed the fates that be. “Oh, hey, Nathan. Organic chemistry is just not my thing. Gonna be a looong semester.” Haley looked painfully at the mountains of work before her.

      “Is that book even in English?” Nathan rested his elbows on Haley’s desk to scrutinize her textbook, lines of confusion on his forehead. “Then again I’m science-stupid. But anyway, I was just wondering if you knew where Erica was. I thought she and I could grab lunch.” 'You’re such a liar, Scott. You know exactly where Erica is. Which is not here. And hopefully it’ll stay that way.' Luckily for him, he had basketball practice and games throughout most of winter break, which offered him some respite from his constant thoughts of Haley.

      'Right, Erica. What did you think he actually came to see you, Haley? I amend that earlier statement. I’m going to drop out of school and spend my life as unloved, underappreciated, and insane sales representative at Petco.'  "Sorry, Nathan, Erica and the rest of the girls are at cheerleading practice. I think they have conditioning now.” She turned sadly back to her work. 'Look’s like it just you and me, Mr. Organic.'

Haley had written the number for the next problem when she noticed that Nathan was still standing there, shifting his weight, hands in his pockets. She looked up at him questioningly.

      “Do you want to maybe get some lunch?" 'Why are you so nervous? You’re not some pimply-faced seventh-grader asking her to the dance. It’s just lunch. You’ve eaten before. Do it three times a day.'

      “I don’t know. I have a lot of work to do.” Score, I get to be the pity-friend. You are so cool, Haley James. High school kids everywhere will be talking about you with envy.

      “I’m pretty sure even geniuses have to eat. Come on, pleeease. Pretty please, Haley. I’m starving!!!” Nathan shook Haley’s shoulders lightly, doing his best puppy-dog face.

      Haley did her best to pretend that she was ignoring him, which was incredibly hard considering that his face was only inches from her. Truth was she was starving too and she had all semester to fail organic. “How do you even know I’m a genius?”

      “Please. I’ve seen you, like, three times and you’ve been studying every single one of them,” Nathan replied easily as he began to walk out the door.

      “Some of us don’t have basketball to pay our way and actually have to work,” Haley retorted, her voice mock-serious as she slipped in her coat and locked the door.        

      “Oh! Low blow! Actually I’m not on a basketball scholarship,” he answered her, his long legs taking the three flights of stairs down from Haley’s suite two at a time. Nathan liked Haley, in more ways than he wanted to admit, but he was still a guy. And the opportunity for food, even that low-quality, campus variety was not to be taken lightly.

      “You’re not? Aren’t you supposed to be some sort of basketball god?” Haley looked at him skeptically, knowing he had to be lying. She wasn’t exactly a huge basketball fan but even she knew that Nathan had been one of the most-sought after college recruits. She’d read somewhere that a few scouts had offered to buy him cars, and “take care of all his needs.” She didn’t really want to think about what that last part meant. Figured it probably had something to do with naked women, though. 'Seems to be doing just fine with that part on his own.'

      “Nah. I’m actually on a scholarship for good looks,” Nathan’s voice very somber, looking extremely pleased with himself. He swept his eyes critically over Haley, “And by the looks of it, so should you.”

      Haley simply stopped dead in the middle of the sidewalk, pulled her jacket tighter around her body, looked up at him searchingly and busted out laughing, shaking with mirth as she held her sides. “Ok, please don’t tell me that lame line has actually ever worked on anybody?”

      “That and a lot worse. It’s kinda sad sometimes,” laughing alongside her.

      “So what?  Do you just use your awful pick-up lines in alphabetical order or what?”

      “Sometimes I switch it up and do them chronologically in the order that I first thought of them.”

      “I’m officially ashamed to be female.”

Nathan and Haley had now reached the campus dining hall, known to all the students as The Pit. Whoever had thought to name a dining establishment that sold mediocre, over-priced food such a glowing name obviously had had one too many Krispy Kremes. They looked at the massive crowd that was pushing its way through the lines, shoving each other in the hopes to be the first ones in the fajita line. Nathan looked over at the right side of the hall, the unofficial “athlete’s tables” saw all the people that would expect him to sit with them, and finally looked down at Haley, saw the look of unease plain on her face. She had stepped away from him slightly as if to convey with her body language that they were, in fact, not together but had just coincidentally walked through the doors at the same time.

      “Pretty crowded in here. Why don’t we go off-campus?”

      Haley had felt the stares, the curious eyes burning into her as soon as she stepped through the doors. Knew that they were mainly for Nathan, he was the star of the campus after all. He had a presence that just drew people to him. But she couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable, didn’t want people to assume things about the two of them, start creating stories about their relationship. 'What relationship?' She couldn’t help but feel relieved when Nathan suggested leaving the Pit to seek a more favorable dining climate.

      They sat quietly in his black Escalade, Haley watching out the window as Nathan drove, his left arm on the wheel and his right resting lightly on the window. Suddenly there it was just the two of them, no excuses, no suitemates, trapped in a small space. They would glance at each other, cautiously, shyly, turning their heads away quickly when the other noticed.

      “Jason’s Deli? You’re my hero!” Haley squealed as she noticed where Nathan had pulled into.

      “She likes Jason’s Deli. Mark that down.”

      Ten minutes later, after a heated debate about which of the soups was better...Nathan mostly continued the argument because he thought Haley looked cute when she was trying to be angry...they sat down with their food.

      “Have I mentioned you’re my hero, lately?” taking a sip of her broccoli cheese soup.

      “Only like ten times in the last 2 minutes.”

      “Just thought I’d mention it, in case you forgot.” They smiled at each other, Haley bit her bottom lip. “Ok, now that we’ve established that. I still think you have to make it up to me for dragging me away from my beloved organic chemistry.”

      “Oh yeah. That was really a struggle there Haley.”

      “No, I’m sorry. You’re going to make it worth my while. Tell me something about you. Something that doesn’t involve basketball.”

      Nathan set down his sandwich and took a sip of her drink. “What do you want to know?”

      “Favorite sport?” Haley looked around the restaurant, her long hair whipping across her face. “Anyone, anyone? Oh. I know, I know pick me! Pick me!” waving her hand and squirming in her chair like an overeager third-grader. “Yes, Haley?” she asked in her best teacher voice. “Basketball” she answered gravely, very proud of herself.

      “Haha, Haley.” Leaning back into his and crossing his arms across his chest.

      “Ok, moving on…what do you like to do in your free time.” she held soup in her hand, as if she was an interviewer poised to write.

      “Shoot hoops and play video games, mostly NBA Live,” Nathan answered her after a slight pause, a sheepish expression on his face.

      “Favorite TV show?”

      “SportsCenter.”

      “I am going to think of something. Oh, I got it…favorite book? Ha!”

      “I’m not really much of a reader but I did like one of Wilt Chamberlain’s biographies that I read awhile ago.”

      “Favorite movie…don’t even say it…Hoosiers.” Haley rested her chin on her fist, deep in concentration. “You haven’t bested me yet, Scott. There has to be more to you than basketball. And I’m going to figure out what it is.”

      Nathan simply shrugged his shoulders at her, and resumed eating. He hadn’t been lying when he had said he was starving.

      “I got it! I’ve figured it out!” Haley slammed her hand on the table victoriously, causing Nathan to jump slightly. “Favorite band. ‘Cause I’m pretty sure there’s no band called “Basketball.” She pointed her soup spoon at him accusingly, a triumphant grin curling at the corners of her mouth.

      Nathan brought his hand up to his mouth, trying rather unsuccessfully to cover his spreading smile. “Rolling Stones.”

      “They are not.”

      “They are too.”

      “You’re just saying that because you know I like them. I saw the CDs in your car.  All you listen to is rap.”

      “Mostly, but usually I’m just hauling around the guys on the team. Here I’ll prove it to you.” And with that he was reaching into his back pocket for his wallet, then struggling to pull a small, circle-shaped object that could be seen clearly outlined in the worn leather.

      “Oh god! He is going to pull out a condom. Why in the hell is he pulling out a condom?” Looking at him wide-eyed, not sure if she should scream or laugh. Right now, she was seriously contemplating the likelihood that she could do both simultaneously.

      “There.” He set said object down on the table in front of her for her inspection.

      Haley looked cautiously at the object in question, noted thankfully that it was not a condom, but rather a button. A small button with the famous Rolling Stones’ tongue logo.

      “Got it at a concert I went to senior year. Now that you’ve grilled me, it’s my turn. Let’s see here. Favorite movie? Favorite book? Favorite TV show? Favorite band? What do you like to do in your spare time?” He rattled off her questions to him in rapid-fire form, then sat waiting. His weight leaning forward onto his forearms.

      “Cool Hand Luke. The Rainbow by D.H. Lawrence. Toss-up between Gilmore Girls, Conan, or the Daily Show with John Stewart. I don’t know, read or watch TV or movies, or listen to music. The band director would probably like me to say that I love to spend every glorious minute of my free time practicing my instrument but then I’d probably burn in hell for lying” she answered him back just as rapidly.

      “Oh so you’re in the band?

      “And wind ensemble. Play the tenor sax.”

      A knowing look passed across Nathan’s face.  He looked at her long and hard, his blue eyes narrowing. “So that’s why you’ve been coming to the basketball games. Because you’ve been forced.”

      Tucking her hair behind her hair, “Exactly.” A world-weary expression on her clear face. “It’s horrible really the things I have to do,” her voice full of pain and sorrow. “No, seriously, it’s more of a hassle for me to go to our football games. I love the basketball games. They’re so much fun. And I can’t really argue with front-row seats for every home game. Which is weird, ‘because normally I like football more. Me being an Eagles fan and everything and I grew up watching Penn State football. I would be willing to bet we had more of an attendance at my high school’s football games.”

      Through all of this, Nathan sat quietly, fascinated by her. Willing to make a bet of his own that he had never spent this much time actually holding a conversation with anyone, especially a girl. Especially a girl as gorgeous as Haley James. Not one that listened to him told him the truth, one that wasn't trying to break the campus-record time on the seconds it took to end up in bed with him. But at the same time he couldn’t help but stare at the way her long neck curved down into her shoulder or the way her eyes shone amber, her thick eyes fluttering down slightly whenever she laughed. Which was often. “Haley James is in the band. I’ll have to look for you at the next game.” He didn’t really care that his soup could probably be used to do that cryogenic-freezing thing he had seen late one sleepless night on one of those hokey infomercials.

      “Yeah, you do that.” Haley had also spent the greater part of this little lunch-time outing, in fascination. It was apparent to anyone with eyes that Nathan Scott was a gorgeous man, but surprisingly there was a hidden warmth to him as well, something greater and more alluring than all of the stories told about him brewing under the surface.

      “And you never told me your favorite band.”

      “Rolling Stones. I guess we have something in common.”

      “I think we have more than that in common,” he answered her quietly, almost shyly, something Nathan Scott hardly, if ever, was. The sound barely making it across the table.

Somewhere in the midst of this exchange, she had unconsciously reached for his hand. And twenty minutes later, it remained there unmentioned by both, although it made eating somewhat difficult, for fear that the other would want to pull away, want to break the tenuous bond they had begun to form. As they sat there that day, cold soups in front of them, neither would realize that they had started something greater than both of them.

Chapter Five

The world was on fire and no one could save me but you

It's strange what desire will make foolish people do

I'd never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you

I'd never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you---Chris Isaak, “Wicked Game”

      Nathan, much to his credit or perhaps dismay had actually managed to keep up his rather transparent charade of looking for Erica or Courtney or Beth, whichever name popped into his head first, for over two weeks now. At first he would knock on Haley’s door, pausing for a moment and counting to five, but lately he’d taken to just entering and plopping down on her bed. Flipping through a magazine while he waited for Haley to come to a place in her work where she could take a break. Or more accurately waited until he grew too impatient, too hungry to wait anymore and forced her to stop. Today was no different.

      “Hey, Haley. Is…” Nathan had already settled himself comfortably on the edge of her bed, watching Haley at her desk, her trusty orange highlighter clutched in a death-grip.

      For her part, Haley had been happy to play along, happy to give him time. Until now. But it had been a long day, promising to stretch endlessly before her, as it was only noon. Today she simply didn’t have the energy to feed this cycle of make-believe she and Nathan seemed to have gotten themselves trapped in. She wasn’t convinced by Nathan’s pathetic attempts to look for the other girls, wasn’t fooled by his ever decreasing pause before he tried to casually ask her to lunch. Two weeks later, their daily lunch date was a foregone assumption for both of them. Yesterday Nathan had switched to driving with his left hand, his right intertwined with Haley’s as it rested on his thigh. But Haley had been taking care of herself far too long, had been hurt by people who were supposed to love her far too many times to keep playing these games.

      “Erica’s not here Nathan. Neither is Courtney or Beth or Alyssa or Jamie. None of them are here. They’re all at…”Haley snapped at Nathan, her back remained to him, not trusting herself to look him in the eye.

      He had wondered when this moment was going to come, when she was going to tear down this facade. Like the proverbial elephant in the room, it had been steadily building to this confrontation since that initial lunch two weeks ago. “Conditioning for cheerleading. I know. I have known,” he finished quietly, turning to look out the window.

      “So why do you ask me everyday where they are? When both of us know that you know perfectly well where they are. And that you weren’t really looking for them in the first place. I’m tired of this, Nathan. I expect more from you because I know you’re nothing like people say you are. That you’re charming and funny and frustrating and stubborn and amazing. So tell me why we do this day after day?” she had moved to sit beside him on the bed, their thighs barely grazing each other.

      Nathan continued to gaze blankly out the window, the hum of the air conditioner the only noise in the room. Then he looked at Haley, his eyes a brilliant, intense shade of blue, “because I have no excuse to see you.”

      “You have no excuse? What the hell does that mean?”

All of his reason, his feeble excuses had made sense in his head. But now, in the open, being spoken out loud, they just seemed empty. “I just, I don’t know. You and I have no reason to spend time together, except for the fact that I like spending time with you.”

      “Isn’t that reason enough?”

      “It should be. It is. But I don’t know how to do this.”

      “Do what Nathan?” Haley had been desperately trying to hold onto her anger, use it as a protective shield but watching Nathan’s tired, drawn face all she could feel was a heavy, dark fear. Fear that they would leave each other this way, with all their unanswered questions. That they would leave this beautiful thing they had begun to create behind, their fears and insecurities overwhelming. That he would leave her.

      “This. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Haley, but there’s a…thing between us,” Nathan motioned between the two of them.

      “I’ve noticed. I wouldn’t have brought this conversation up if I hadn’t. You want to know how to do this? You just drop the bullshit Nathan. I refuse to be your choice only because no one else is around,” pacing back and forth her tiny room, Haley stopped to lean over her desk, her head in hands struggling to regain her composure.        

      Nathan moved to stand behind her, hands in his pockets, his jaw clenched. “That’s not the way it is and you know it,” his voice sharp, angry.

      “I know. But sometimes knowing isn’t enough. I need to hear the words Nathan. I need to know that if we continue this thing, as you put it, that it’s not a one-sided thing,” finishing in a whisper, she turned to face him, her eyes locked on his.

      It’s not,” was all he could manage, not trusting the steadiness of his voice to continue.

      “Then we’re going to stop the pretending right now. And we’re going to do this right. First, you’re going to ask me to lunch.”

      His stomach was twisted into knots, fearful that she was going to realize that he wasn’t worth it. That she deserved more than he could offer. But now he couldn’t help but chuckle slightly at her forceful demand. “Fine, bossy. Let’s go to lunch.”

      “No. Clearly you misunderstood me. I said ask me to lunch, not order me,” she glared up at him jokingly, her hands in fists on her hips. “Now go outside and try again,” she shoved him out the door, closing it on his bewildered face.

      He had never done this before, never asked a girl to spend time with him that didn’t involve nudity, without any pretenses. Without both of them knowing that their feelings for each other went deeper than lust. He wasn’t even really sure what this process involved. Nathan hesitantly raised a hand, knocking softly on the door. He felt foolish, uneasy, and although he would never admit it, scared.

      After a painfully long moment, in which Nathan contemplated using all of his endurance from basketball and running like the coward he was, the door swung open. “Yes?” Haley raised her eyebrows questioningly at him, leaning against the doorframe expectantly.

      “Do you want to go to lunch, Haley?”

      She continued to look at him searchingly, remained unmoved from her spot against the door. “I don’t know. What’s in it for me?” she pretended to ponder his question, enjoyed watching him squirm. There was a strange, dizzying power in knowing you made Nathan Scott nervous.

      “Um, time with me, I guess,” he answered, furrowing his brow in concentration.

      No response from Haley, her expression unchanged.

      “Food?” he tried again hopefully. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to say. You’re my favorite person.  Lunch with you is the best part of my day.  I think about you constantly,” he added silently.

      Smiling slightly at his fumbling, Haley decided she had had enough fun tormenting the poor boy. “I suppose I could go to lunch with you.”

      “Don’t sound too excited about it,” he smirked at her. “Come on let’s go, I’m hungry,” he whined.

      “You’re always hungry,” she snapped back, her eyes twinkling, placing her hand securely in his. “And don’t start herding me like cattle. I’ll come when I’m good and ready.” Haley defended her free-will and independence uselessly, considering Nathan was already pulling her behind him at breakneck speed.

      “Yeah, yeah, whatever James.” It amazed him sometimes, how a relationship could be so frightening, yet so easy at the same time. How one person could reassure him, ease his fears, his doubts.

      “Ok. Just for that, you’re paying for lunch.” She wondered sometimes why she was the only one he showed this side of himself to, wondered what he saw in her, if others could detect a difference in her, wondered if her rapidly developing feelings had changed her outwardly somehow.

      “You know what? You should come with me to the party tomorrow night.” They had started driving now, Haley flipping through the radio stations, groaning at the overabundance of country.

      “I don’t know Nathan, I’m pretty busy. And besides I’ve heard what you do at those parties,” although her voice was light, airy, mirthful, her uncertainty was not.

      “You had your exam in Spanish yesterday, turned in your lab report for bio on Tuesday, and your exam in organic isn’t until the end of next week, so I think you can afford to come.”

      She was stunned, to say the least, “You actually remember all that?”

      “Of course.” He reached across the seat for her hand, pausing to collect his thoughts, to find the right words. “And about that other part, it’s not about that. Not with you.”

      Unable to contain her blushing, she smiled shyly at him, her thumb rubbing slow circles against the back of his hand. “Okay, then. Party it is.” Bending over to pull a piece of paper out of the glove department, she shifted in her seat. “Now that that’s settled we’re going to continue with our questions."  During one lunch session, while waiting for their food to arrive, Haley had suggested that write down a list of questions for each other. “Spares us from the awkward silence, in case we run out of conversation,” is what she had said.

      Nathan was sure that wasn’t likely to happen with her. But now it had become a daily ritual for them, reading their questions in order. Laughing at the sillier, more mundane ones, talking through their meal and the ride back to campus at the more probing, serious ones.

      “I think I’m next. Let’s see…number 43. Why did you choose Wake?”

      “That’s 43? I’m surprised you didn’t ask that earlier.”

      “What can I say? I was more concerned with your thoughts on toothpaste brands and Fraggle Rock.”

      “You’re a weird girl, Haley James. Did anyone ever tell you that?” he replied, pulling into a parking space and shutting off the engine.

      Jumping down from the car, Haley shut the door behind her. “All the time. Besides, you definitely asked me my favorite Mr. Roger’s episode, and my thoughts on coffee vs. tea, like that’s any better.”

      “Let’s see, why did I choose Wake? A lot of scouts were looking at me, from all over the country. But I had decided that I wanted to stay in-state. My dad was pressuring me pretty hard to take Duke’s offer,” he hesitated, unsure. He avoided talking to her about his dad, not because he didn’t trust her or feel comfortable confiding in her, but because he didn’t want to mar the happiness time with her brought by bringing up such a painful, messy subject. Stepping into the restaurant behind him, Haley waited patiently for him to continue.

      “But I kept talking to the Wake scout just to piss him off, figuring it was an easy way to stick it to him. They had been building a program over the years that was slowly gaining equal footing with Duke’s. Better now that I’m here,” he boasted, cockily. Although, many, it not most sports analysts would have agreed whole-heartedly with this assessment. “I visited both schools in October of my senior year, convinced that I was going to decide to go with Duke. I mean, it’s what my dad had been talking about all these years. What all those 5 am practice session were about. Duke was always the dream. But then I stepped onto Wake and it’s just felt like the right place to be, you know?”

      Standing on her tip-toes, she pressed her lips softly against his. “I know exactly what you mean.”

Chapter Six

You, you I see in my mirror in the mornin'

Instead of seein' me

I see you, I see your face

And inside me is a growing need for your embrace

In the light of day, though our faces meet

Someone there might see someone else speak

Till the dark of night, while the moon is new

While we whisper words of love in our secret rendezvous

Somethin's wrong I know, girl I love you so

Yes I need you, I need you baby---Marvin Gaye, “You”

Haley was amazed that anyone could possibly own that much make-up. It’s just seemed entirely unnecessary, especially some of the neon eye shadow shades. Upon mistakenly telling the girls in her suite that she was planning to go to some of the parties that night, they had launched on her, insisting that she join them in getting ready. Reluctantly and warily, she obliged them, joining them in the bathroom to participate in the spectacle known as the Martin Suite 303 Party Preparation Spectacular. Twenty-five minutes later, after brushing her teeth, shaving her legs, running some gel through her damp hair to coax it into soft waves, and applying some bronzer, black eyeliner, mascara, and a soft berry lip stain and deciding that the sea foam green eye shadow did indeed look best with Courtney’s outfit, Haley managed to escape their clutches. She was officially ready to go. Except for the slight matter of her clothes. Running down the hallway, she hurtled herself back into her room.

Frantically tearing through her closet, Haley berated herself for her lack of wardrobe choices. “I have nothing to wear. Absolutely nothing. Let’s see here.” She began tossing clothing onto her bed, “Not dressy enough. Too dressy. Not warm enough. Too warm. Not girly enough. Too girly. Ugh, makes me look like a troll. You know what. I’ll just call him and tell him I can’t go after all on account of the fact that I can’t manage to dress myself to go to a frat party and mingle with the campus drunks.”

Taking a deep, steadying breath, she braced herself against the door of her closet. “Ok, Haley you can do this. We’re going to find a top to wear. And then we’ll move onto a skirt that matches. One step at a time,” half-heartedly, she attempted to motivate herself out of her fashion crisis. “Now, first off. It’s pretty cold out tonight. We’re not looking to attract anyone with our breasts, so I think it’s best to go with a sweater. Black is probably our best option, matches easily and also handy in case of an accidental alcohol spill,” she reasoned thinking back to a particularly memorable incident at party her freshmen year. Now, a v-neck sweater because it never hurts to show a little skin. You are going with a guy who has probably seen the entire cheerleading squad naked at one point.” This last thought began to make Haley feel like she was going to begin hyperventilating again, so she quickly shoved it out of her mind. “Ok, we have a top. We’re making progress here, James. We may just be ready before midnight.” After much deliberation, she decided on her light blue corduroy skirt and knee-high leather black boots. To finish off the ensemble, she put a simple pair of silver hoops into her first holes, and light blue topaz studs into her second, hooked her silver chain around her neck, and a silver link bracelet with different semi-precious stones. Critically, she studied herself in the mirror, and was just about to fix her hair for the twentieth time since she stepped out of the shower, when a knock sounded on the door.

“You’re ready already?” Nathan asked surprised as he entered the room, dressed in a dark pair of khakis and a black long-sleeved polo. 

Fidgeting with the hem of her sweater, Haley began to nervously ramble, “Yeah, I told some of the girls that I was going to go tonight and they thought I should get ready with them and I kinda forgot that it was supposed to take me three hours to get ready. I think Erica has started The Hair: Hour 2 by now, but I just let mine dry and got dressed.

“Haley---,” Nathan tried unsuccessfully to interject, watching amusedly from the bed as she paced a hole into the floor.

“Why?  Do I not look ok? I look horrible, oh god. You have to leave. I have to get changed. Come back in 5 hours. You can’t look at me any longer like this.”

He rose to stand in front of her, grabbing her shoulders to stop her frantic movements. “Haley!”

Startled out of her daze, she glanced up at him. “What?”

“You look fine. I was just surprised you got ready so fast. I was expecting to just drop by and tell you to give me a call when you were ready to leave.”

“I look fine.” Haley contemplated this thought in her head for a moment. “I just look fine?  Because I definitely think I caused some retinal damage with my eyeliner for just looking fine.”

“You’re right. You don’t look fine.” Nathan concurred with a helpless shrug.

“I don’t?” with a frustrated, anguished wail Haley began to tear through her closet again.

“No. You look gorgeous.” Nathan smiled at her. “A bit insane but gorgeous nonetheless.”

Haley looked up and nodded as she narrowed her eyes at him, a slight grin appearing at the corners of her mouth. “Play your cards right Scott, and I just might keep you around.” She sat on the bed and turned on the TV, flipping aimlessly through the channels. “Party doesn’t start until 10 right? So I guess I’ll see you in 2 hours.”

“Is that some sort of hint for me to get lost so your other boyfriend can come over?” Nathan asked confused.

Tearing her attention away from the excitement that was the TV Guide channel, Haley glanced up at him. “Yes. I’m trying to find time to see all twelve of my boyfriends. It’s very hard work being adored by so many. Although I guess you have some experience with that. No, I just figured since you said you were planning to come back later that’d you want to leave.”

“I never want to leave you, Haley. Actually, I had other ideas on how we could spend our time until the party started,” sliding dangerously close to her on the bed, Nathan wiggled his eyebrows at her suggestively.

Struggling to keep a straight face and her heart from racing, Haley mocked back, “So we’re going to do Groucho Marx impersonations?” Even as she began to slide her arm around his neck.

Nathan hooked an arm around her waist, pulling her to him. Kissing her jaw line, he whispered into her ear, “I think you know what I mean.”

Haley leaned back slightly, not missing the look of desire smoldering behind Nathan’s eyes. She pursed her lips, and shook her head adamantly. “No. I’m sorry. I’m drawing a blank here.”

Pulling her back to him forcefully, he pressed his lips to hers urgently, his tongue probing for entrance. Moaning slightly, she ran her arm up and down his muscular back. With their tongues dueling feverishly, he begin to inch a calloused hand under the hem of her sweater, making slow circles across her abdomen, continually rising until he had reached her bra-clad breasts. Shifting, he pulled her eagerly into his lap, their lips never breaking contact. Determinedly, roughly she pulled his shirt over his head, stopping momentarily to appreciate the wonder of his chiseled abs. Slowly, she bent her head to run a trail of slight, feathery kisses down his chest, only stopping when Nathan pulled her back up to meet his lips. Haley raised her arms above her head for Nathan to remove her sweater; his hands were moving steadily up her thigh when he seemed to catch himself. As if burnt, he slid back across the bed from her, “Haley. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…I’m an asshole. I’m telling you that this isn’t about sex, and here I am trying to force myself on you.”

Recovering from her brief moment of hurt and wondering anxiously if Nathan had been entirely unsatisfied with her ministrations, Haley studied him silently, and then moved next to his side. “Trust me Nathan you weren’t forcing anything. It’s a two-way street you know? I would’ve stopped you had I wanted to stop.” She snaked an arm up to caress his jaw, turning his head to look deeply into his eyes. “Which I didn’t by the way. And I know that this isn’t all about sex. But does that mean it isn’t about it at all?”

Running a hand through his already tousled hair, he let off a deep chuckle. “Believe me, if you knew some of the thoughts I had about you, you’d think twice about spending so much time with me.”

“Really. Interesting. I bet it doesn’t beat one of my fantasies.”

His infamous smirk was back in full force. “Oh, so you fantasize about me?”

“Yea, it involves you, a llama, and a ham. It’s very kinky.” Haley tried her best to look mysterious and sexy, before bursting into laughter.

Laughing along with her, he absently stroked her hair. “You’re a weird girl, Haley James. Anyone ever tell you that.”

“You, yesterday, actually. Yet you keep choosing to spend time with me. Which doesn’t say a whole lot about you, buddy.” She had now moved back into his lap.

“What can I say? I secretly have a thing for members of the camel family and meat products. I was told you were the girl to go to for that,” he joked back. “Now where were we?”

“Right about here,” she answered as she crashed her lips into his in a furious, dizzying kiss.

An hour and a half later, they wrenched themselves apart breathlessly. “I guess we should get going if we want to make an appearance at the party,” Nathan suggested more than a little disappointedly.”

Haley rose to gather her purse and check to make sure she had her id with her. “No, you make appearances. I just go.”

Arriving at the party, he supposed he could treat it like any other night. Same guys at the door, same under-dressed girls shooting him come-hither glances, same strange, sickening odor wafting from inside the lounge, a potent mix of beer and sweat, same pounding music. But tonight, Nathan couldn’t help but feel an unfamiliar sense of rage at the way the guys kept giving Haley side-long glances as the two of them danced together, and then passing him encouraging, sneering nods. He wrapped a protective arm around her waist, pressing her into his side, giving every male in the nearby vicinity his best “I’m Nathan Scott and you don’t want to fuck with me" look.

One of his teammates ambled up to him, took a long look at Haley and whistled approvingly. “Damn Scott, you sure know how to pick ‘em. Another hot one. They just keep coming don’t they? You really do have the magic touch with the ladies,” more than a little inebriated he stumbled over his words.

Glaring at him indignantly, Haley retorted, “You do realize that I’m standing right here and can indeed hear you? Fucking idiot,” she muttered under breath.

Nathan, who had heard the last part clearly, grinned faintly at Haley and grasped her hand firmly in his.

Stepping forward, he got in his teammate’s face and warned him in the same leering tone he had been using. “Keep talking like that asshole and I’ll beat your ass,” he finished with a menacing, intimidating smile. He turned back to Haley apologetically, “What do you say we go find the drinks?” They began to move in search of one of the frat’s brothers that Nathan knew he could persuade into supplying them with a couple beers.

“Why?  Are you trying to get me drunk and take advantage of me?”

“Well, if the last few hours were any indication, you don’t need to be drunk for me to take advantage of you,” he replied wrapping an arm across her abdomen to bring her into his chest.

“Oh. Haha. You’re such a comedian. Maybe I should call the NBA scouts and tell them you’re going to forego a pro career to make your name in stand-up,” she leaned her head back against him contentedly, laying her hand securely over his.

After a few seconds, he broke the silence. “You know I feel like I’m doing this whole thing backwards.”

“What?”

“I usually show up alone, find a girl who’s smashed and then…”

“You have sex,” Haley concluded quietly.

“Yeah. But this is,” he searched for the right word.  Failing he settled for, “Better.” Placing a gentle kiss on her lips, he decided, “Definitely better.”

Chapter Seven

The secret of your beauty

And the mystery of your soul

I've been searching for in everyone I meet ----Moody Blues, “I Know You’re Out There”

     

      Six weeks later, Nathan and Haley were happily ensconced in their usual places, he sitting upright on her bed, leaning back against the cool, concrete wall watching the basketball scores on SportsCenter and she was settled between his thighs, her chest to his back highlighting passages from her biology textbook. Nathan had one hand on the remote, flipping from channel to channel whenever SportsCenter went to a commercial and at some point, his other hand had unconsciously wrapped itself around Haley’s waist.

      “Hey, a couple of the guys were talking about seeing some band at Ziggy’s next Thursday. I can’t remember the name, but cover charge is only like 5 bucks.  I thought it might be fun. You wanna go?” Nathan asked Haley, his focus still mostly on the television.

      “Oh. I think it’s Rilo Kiley. I heard some people talking about it in chem today. I’d love to go but I can’t,” Haley’s attention was still mostly on her textbook.

      “Why? Don’t tell me you have to study again? You do that an awful lot. I had no idea it was so exhausting being brilliant until I met you,” Nathan turned away from the TV as the analysts started discussing that week’s hockey matches.

      “I study just as much as you practice basketball. You want to go into the NBA. I want to go to law school. Takes work. Actually, I’m pretty much free from bookworm duty that night. I have a wind ensemble concert that night.  I’d really be tempted to skip it, but Dr. Lane would hunt me down. Never mind the fact that I have a solo.”

      “Wait. You have a concert and you didn’t tell me?” Nathan asked, surprised and a little hurt. He could pinpoint Haley’s exact whereabouts at almost every moment of the day; a concert seemed to be a fairly important time commitment for him not to have known about it.

      “I just…didn’t think it was that important,” Haley had turned to face him, sitting Indian-style. “I didn’t think you’d want to come.”

      “You didn’t ask me,” pouting Nathan feigned anger, a petulant look on his face, crossing his arms over his chest and turning his head away.

      Leaning over so they were face-to-face, Haley laughingly reassured him. “It’s really just a bunch of dorky band kids. Trust me, I’d understand if you didn’t want to come. You should go with the guys to Ziggy’s,” she replied.

      “Ok, answer me one question.”

      “Sure.”

      “Are you going to be at the wind ensemble concert?” Nathan interrogated with an intense stare.

      Slightly confused, Haley pondered the question for a moment. “Well, I don’t really have a choice. I am in the wind ensemble after all. So yes.”

      “Ok, I’m coming then.”

      Haley laid an arm on his shoulder, looking him deeply in the eyes. “Are you sure about that? People have been known to fall asleep at these things. I don’t mind ‘cause I’m actually playing the music but usually the only people that show up are other music dorks who can’t be in the ensemble because of their schedule that semester, profs in the department and kids who need to go to it to fulfill a concert requirement for the intro to music course and most of them don’t stay the entire time,” Haley laid all the facts on the table, didn’t want to be responsible for killing Nathan of boredom. A graphic image of a mob of angry basketball fans running after her with pitchforks and torches flashed across her mind and she shuddered.

      But Nathan’s mind was made up. “I’m coming.”

      Giving it one last try, Haley reiterated, “Again with the dorky band kids.”

      Smirking at her, and laying both hands on her knees, he tilted his head at her, “See now I know that at least one of those dorky band kids is really hot. So I hate to break it to you Hales, but I’m gonna have to come.”

      Rolling her eyes, and blushing slightly simultaneously at his cheesy line, she returned to her studies, “Ok. You can come if you insist. But I want to sign a waiver before you go clearly stating that if you do die of boredom that I, Haley Elizabeth James, was not responsible. This waiver will also plainly state that you were fully and clearly warned by me of the possible consequences of attending the above-mentioned concert, in case such a need arises to ward off your rabid fans who would want to torture me into a slow and painful death in the event of such a situation.”

      “Ok, I only understand about half of what you said. But whatever.” The credits for the end of SportsCenter were now rolling and unlike Haley, Nathan now had nothing to occupy his time. He looked down at Haley, immersed in her reading, mostly about words that looked to be either foreign or made-up to him, said a brief prayer of thanks that he wasn’t a genius like Haley, looked back at the TV, and flipped through a couple channels. Upon finding nothing that interested him, he searched around the room for a distraction.. Looked back down at Haley. Slowly, he brushed her hair off of her neck and began to kiss her across the length of her bare shoulder. Haley turned to give him a warning look, before returning to her book. Undeterred, Nathan continued to give quiet, deliberate attention to Haley’s neck and shoulders.

      Pointing her highlighter at him accusingly, she muttered, “Ok. You stop that. You are not going to get me into law school. I swear you have the attention span of a five-year old sometimes.”

      He twisted his chest, so that his face was in front of her with a comic leer twisting his features. “No, but I can get you in other places…”

      “Don’t even finish that line. Besides you totally didn’t get me in anywhere. I sat down on the bed first. You were the one who had to come and bother me while I was trying to study, because it was of the utmost importance that you saw the basketball highlights,” she retorted mock-serious.

      Suddenly, Nathan’s weight had shifted; his arms were no longer around her waist. “Fine. Whatever, Haley. I can leave,” he huffed.

      Stunned, she looked up to see a look of hurt cross his face. “Nathan I was joking. You don’t have to go.”

      “Nah, you’re busy. I’ll leave you alone.”

      Shaking her head at his stubbornness, she reached an arm behind her to pull him towards her. “C’mere", she whispered to him, before crashing their mouths together in a passionate kiss. “You know for being such a guy, you would give any girl a run for her money if you ever compared guilt-trips,” she gently chided him as she began to unbutton his shirt.

      “Yet, you keep spending time with me.  Doesn’t say a whole lot about you,” Nathan repeated her earlier line to him, moving back to kiss her, as his fingers deftly undid the buttons on her blouse, their mouths only breaking contact, to allow him to push it haphazardly down off her shoulders, landing in a tangled ball on her floor, along with his shirt.

      “Oh, but didn’t anyone tell you? I’m just using you for sex,” Haley had moved her attention to his bare chest, which no matter how many times she saw, she still let out a slight appreciative gasp every time it was unveiled. Nathan was a perfect specimen but Haley believed loving someone made them that much more beautiful to you, as if you saw them in a different, more pure light than everyone else. 'Whoa, did I just say love? It’s definitely too early for that. I think. I mean it’s only been like a month and a half.' Shocked Haley tried to concentrate on the crumbling logic of her own thoughts, which was an insurmountable task considering that Nathan’s agile fingers were now poised at the button of her jeans. Unconsciously, she lifted her hips off the bed, to allow him to slide them down. Reaching over to switch off the lamp, she asked him, “Do you have something?”

      “Yeah.”

Later, as they lay their breathless, in a tangle of limbs, Haley rolled over to face him. “So do you want to tell me what was bothering you earlier?”

      “What? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Sometimes, Haley’s uncanny ability to read him like an open book scared him; he was so used to living his life in the shadow of his basketball talent. Never having to account for his actions, or contemplate his emotions until Haley. And there sure seemed to be a lot of emotions lately. But on the other hand, Haley’s insight into his psyche was liberating, calming at the same time.

      Resting her head on her hand, she warned him, “Don’t play games with me, Scott. I know you too well. You weren’t yelling at the TV screen like you usually do whenever you saw a good play or something. That tends to mean something’s wrong.”

      “Some NBA scouts have been talking to me lately about entering the draft for next year.”

      “Nathan! That’s amazing. I’m so proud of you.”

Shrugging he feigned disinterest, caressing her back absent-mindedly. “I turned them down.”

      “What? Why? I thought this is what you were working towards.” Haley prayed with every fiber of her being that she was putting on a good show. That outwardly she appeared as happy and proud for Nathan as she knew she should be. And she was, for the most part. She knew better than anyone how hard he worked. How much he deserved this opportunity. But a larger part of her sank with despair, knew what would happen if he turned pro. There’d be no more laughing, or kisses or talking into the wee hours of the morning wrapped in each other’s arms. There’d be no more nights like this.

      Nathan contemplated trying to answer Haley’s question. He knew the real reason behind his rejection of the scout’s offers, but feared scaring Haley away. Settling for a safer reply than the truth, he logically explained his motivations. “It is. But the thing is, I’m a sophomore in college. I have the rest of this season and two more to get game-experience before I enter the draft. If they were interested in me now, I’ll just be that much better two years from now. Besides, I want to get my education.”

      Haley nodded her head in understanding. “Makes sense.” Tiredly, she laid her head on Nathan’s chest and closed her eyes.

      “Haley?” he whispered in the dark.

      “Mmhmm?” came her muffled reply.

      “I just…I just wanted to tell you that night of the party was the first time I’d ever…”nervously he tried to put all of his feelings into words

      “If the next words out of your mouth are had sex, I’ll have to say liar, liar pants on fire,” her voice still groggy, half-asleep.

      “No, I’ve done that plenty of times before. I meant stayed after.”

      Haley was more fully awake by now.  She lifted her head tiredly off his chest, “So that night I caught you sneaking out of Erica’s was..?”

      “Everytime.”

      “Yet you stay with me. Why?”

      “Because you don’t suffocate me?” he offered lamely.

      “Ahh, I don’t suffocate you. Good to know.”

      Frustrated at his lack of verbosity, Nathan pushed himself into an upright position. “No, that didn’t come out right. I just felt trapped with every other girl, like I had to get out of there, like I couldn’t breathe. Because once we were done having sex, there was nothing more. I’d rather be by myself.” He struggled to find adequate words. “But with you…I can breathe with you. I’m happier with you. I’d rather be with you than anywhere else.”

      Haley had remained silent, patient, her heart fluttering. Knowing that Nathan wasn’t big on words, but when he did make attempts to put his emotions into words, it was sincere and honest. Satisfied with his reply, she laid her head back on his chest, her leg thrown over his, one of her arms flung across his stomach, his wrapped around her waist. “Ditto.” was all she said to him in the dark stillness of her room.

      Minutes later, she murmured, “Besides, I don’t know how you planned on leaving earlier. Most of your stuff is here,” and drifted off into a peaceful, contented slumber.

Chapter Eight

Yeah

Love hides in the strangest places.

Love hides in familiar faces.

Love comes when you least expect it.

Love hides in narrow corners.

Love comes to those who seek it.

Love hides inside the rainbow.

Love hides in molecular structures.

Love is the answer---The Doors, “Love Hides”

      Exhausted from the extra basketball practice the Coach had decided was necessary to prepare for the start of the NCAA tournament next week, Nathan dragged himself across campus to Haley’s room, hoping to take a nap before he started on his homework. And maybe steal some of her leftover food he knew she kept in her refrigerator when she wasn’t looking. Although she seemed to have eyes in the back of her head when it came to that sort of thing.

      His foot hit something hard, in the doorway; arms flailing he barely caught himself before landing face-first on the floor. Looking down, he noticed that he had tripped over Haley’s suitcase, which was currently open and in the middle of the doorway. And he doubted that she kept random clothing in her suitcase like he did because he was too lazy to unpack after a trip.

      “You going somewhere?” he asked puzzled. The only place he could think of that Haley would need a suitcase would be for the NCAA tournament. Select members of the band, dance team, and cheerleaders were traveling with the team, but they weren’t leaving until next Thursday. Haley had a tendency to go a bit overboard in preparing for everything but this was excessive even for her.

      A muffled voice came out from under the bed, where Haley was wrestling with her sleeping bag, which had stubbornly lodged itself between the slats, “Yeah. My neighbor from home called and said our area got hit with a lot of rain. Most of the homes are flooded. He checked on ours for me, and he said the first floor was flooded. I need to go home and take care of things.” With a final tug, Haley emerged victorious from underneath the bed, sleeping bag in tow.

      Taking in her appearance for the first time that day, Nathan was shocked at how tired and defeated she seemed. Dark circles lined her eyes, her skin sallow, and she appeared heartbreakingly desolate.

      “Are you driving home?”

      She let out a heavy sigh, “Yeah. I can’t afford a plane ticket on such short notice. I’m actually going to leave in a little bit, and drive through the night. That’ll give me three days to get things straightened out.” Rubbing her eyes with the heel of her hand, she moved back to her dresser to continue packing. “That means I have to miss my classes tomorrow.”

      “I’m sure your professors understand.” He watched as she slowly folded her clothing, her motions languid and heavy. He feared she would break in front of him at any second, “Do you want me to come with you?”

      “What? No. It’s ok. You have to practice. Don’t worry about me,” she brushed off his concern, almost too rapidly.

      “Haley, it’s an 8 hour drive. I don’t want you driving by yourself. What if something happens and no one knows where you are?” he growled, angry that something was obviously hurting her, something he couldn’t fix.

      Briefly she met his gaze, before continuing to rummage through her sweaters. “I’ll be fine, Nathan. I can take care of myself.”

      'Ok, don’t demean her independence. New approach,' he thought to himself. “Maybe I could meet your parents?” he suggested gently. 'I can’t believe I just said that. When have I ever wanted to meet anybody’s parents?' But a horrifying picture of Haley lying in a ditch somewhere, alone and afraid had him keep trying.

      “I appreciate the offer Nathan. But I doubt they’d even be home.”

      Nathan didn’t miss the dark shadows that clouded Haley’s eyes. “What do you mean they wouldn’t be home? I thought you said that the house was flooded?”

      “It is. And I’m going to go take care of it. My parent’s won’t be bothered.”

By now, he was completely and utterly baffled, “They don’t care what happens to their house? My dad freaks if the paint is chipped.”

      “They did at one point. They have other things to worry about now. Like sight-seeing,” she bit out, her voice clenched. “Last postcard I got was from Houston. They’re very predictable with the postcards. Every Tuesday without fail,” she joked, in a bittersweet sing-song. She silently willed herself not to cry, struggled to hold back the moisture that was gathering at the corners of her eyes.

      “So you mean they started traveling once you started college?”

      “Kind of. So what does Coach Prosser think of the team’s chances in the game?” She eagerly hoped he wouldn’t press the matter any further. No such luck.

      “Nice subject change there, Hales. What do you mean kind of?”

      “They started traveling my sophomore year of high school. You know how I’m the youngest of six, right?”

      Nathan nodded his head in reply, still bewildered. He couldn’t fathom that in all the talks they had had over the past few months, the subject of Haley’s family had never come up. He was amazed and more than a little embarrassed to realize that beyond the names and ages of her siblings he really knew nothing about them.

      “Well, by that time everyone else was out of the house and it was just me. So one day in November, right before Thanksgiving my parents sit me down and tell me that they bought an RV. At first I was excited. Money has always been tight in my family because of all the kids. So my first thought was that we’d get to go on more vacations because we wouldn’t have to worry about getting a hotel,” gazing off in to space, she inhaled with a deep, shuddery breath before continuing. “And the next words out of my mom’s mouth were, ‘So we’re trusting you to take care of the house, Haley.’ And then I thought it was just going to be a week-long thing like some of my friend’s parents did. You know they’d take a vacation to get away from everything. The kid’s would stay with their grandparents or neighbors and they’d get a stupid t-shirt out of the bargain.”

      “Haley…” feeling helpless, he kneeled beside her.

      She turned to him with a self-deprecating smirk. “One week. Ha. More like 4 years. I guess by the time they got to me they had had enough parenting. And I’m Miss Responsible. I wouldn’t let the house burn down or anything. Eventually, I got emancipated because it got to be too much of a hassle to keep explaining to my teachers and employers why I couldn’t get a parent signature.”

      Nathan stroked her hair soothingly, furious that he couldn’t do more. That anyone would cause Haley this much pain. “So every time you go home, you’re alone?”

      “Mostly, yea. Sometimes my brothers and sisters will visit around the holidays or I’ll have friends stay over. Most of the time it’s just me.” By now, Haley’s eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, silent tears streaking down her face. “Did you know that they missed my high school graduation? They managed to find the time to attend five others, but mine just didn’t matter enough to them. Well, they tried to go but they got stuck in traffic on I-81. I remember my brothers’ and sisters’ graduations being an all-day affair. We’d all eat breakfast together in the morning, and be forced to take thousands of pictures together with the graduate in their cap and gown, then we’d drive over together and cause a big scene about who was sitting next to who,” she let out a rueful laugh as she remembered, choking on her sobs. “But do you know what I was? I was just a stop-over between places they would’ve rather been.” Finally, unable to hold herself together any longer, she collapsed into heaving sobs.

      Gathering her into his arms, he rocked her back and forth until her crying had subsided. Now, he really did want to meet Haley’s parents. Meet them and yell them at them for abandoning the most incredible person he ever met, for ever causing her to be in this much pain. Wanted to yell at himself for not knowing more though. For not noticing the flicker of hurt that crossed her eyes when ever he mentioned how much of a jerk his dad was. Which was often. Or the subtle way she would tense whenever a “picture-perfect” family appeared in the movies or on the television.

      With a few mournful hiccups, Haley regained her control. Embarrassed by the large wet spot she had left on Nathan’s shirt, she quickly moved to apologize, “Nathan, I’m so sorry. I don’t know...”

      “Haley, stop it. You have nothing to apologize for. That’s what I’m here for. But why didn’t you tell me about this before? Do you not trust me?”

      Resting her forehead on his chest, she sighed. “No, of course I trust you. You’re actually the first person I’ve told that doesn’t live in my hometown. I just...I don’t know. I don’t like to talk about it. It’s too hard sometimes.”

      Propping her jaw up with his finger, he forced her to look him in the eye, “You know you can tell me anything right?”

      “I know.”

      One last-ditch effort wouldn’t hurt, “You sure I can’t persuade you to let me come along?”

      “No. You have the big game coming up. You need to get your rest.”

      “Yes, mother. Ok, you win on that one. But I want you to call me every hour so I know that you’re ok,” he demanded, a serious look in his eyes.

      “Nathan, you’re going to be asleep for at least part of that time,” she protested.

      “Let me worry about that. Every hour. I’m not kidding.”

      “Yes, mother,” she mocked back. It never ceased to surprise her that time and time again, such a dynamic, magnetic personality like his could have such a calming effect on her.

      “You’re going to be back in time for the game right?”

      “Yeah. I’m just going to stay the weekend and work things out. My neighbor looks after the house when I’m at school, so I guess if there was any major damage I’ll just get started on the work and pay him to finish it...with my magic beans,” zipping the suitcase closed, she checked for her car keys.

      “If you need any money, I’d be happy to give you some.”

      “I can’t ask you for money, Nathan.”

      Leaning against the doorway, his large frame blocked her exit. “You didn’t. I offered. I know you like to be independent, or maybe it’s just because you’ve always had to be, but it’s ok to let people take care of you every once in a while.” He pulled her into a fierce hug.

      She whispered in his chest almost inaudibly, “Thank you.” Then a little louder, “And I’ll be at the game. Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

      Nathan was relieved to notice that a slight fraction of her smile had returned.

      “Besides, I know you really just want to grope me on the plane,” she joked.

      He pretended to be appalled, pulling away from her in false shock. “Am I really that transparent?”

      “Only to me.”

She kissed him deeply and shut the door behind her. “I’ll see you in a few days. Behave yourself. Study, practice hard, eat your vegetables.”

      “Yes, ma’am. Don’t forget to call me. Stop driving if you get tired, I’ll lend you money for a hotel room if you need it.” When she was down the hall, almost out of ear-range without thinking he shouted to her, “Bye! I love you.”

      Slowly she turned around, a huge smile on her face, her eyes sparkling brilliantly. “I love you, too.”

Chapter Nine

But of all these friends and lovers

There is no one compares with you

And these memories lose their meaning

When I think of love as something new

Though I know I'll never lose affection

For people and things that went before

I know I'll often stop and think about them

In my life I love you more---The Beatles, “In My Life”

      “This test is worth like half my grade and I don’t understand the material at all. I’m going to fail and I’ll have to drop out of Wake and then I won’t be able to go to law school.” Haley James was currently in the middle of an all-out panic attack, her usually meticulous desk strewn with papers.

      “It’s ok. You study on the plane. I’ll just make-out with one of the cheerleaders. I think Suzie was giving me ‘the look’ last weekend’” Nathan called out to her, debating on whether to laugh at Haley, or be worried that she was going to hurt herself in her current frenzied state.

      Haley swiveled in her chair to glare at him, “You’re not helping the situation Nathan. Besides, every single one of those skanky cheerleaders is always giving you ‘the look’ and you know it,” she bit out.

      Nathan broke out into a full-fledged grin, “Yeah, but if I fooled around with them I wouldn’t get the joy of watching you have a nervous breakdown.”

      “Oh. So my nervous breakdowns are amusing, huh?”

      At this point, Nathan decided it was probably best for everyone’s safety if he stopped joking around. “Haley, deep breaths, sweetheart, deep breaths. You are going to pass this. You’ve been studying for days. Hell, you’ll probably have the highest grade. Besides, you’ve never failed a test in your life.”

      “I almost did,” she stated matter-of-factly, still trying to be angry at him for the cheerleader comment. This was difficult considering the way he had brushed them off when they tried to congratulate him after the basketball team’s wins in the first week of the tournament.

      “Almost did what?”

      “Failed a test. Or at least I planned to.”

      “What do you mean, ‘you planned to’? ” By now he was convinced that she was loopy from all the highlighter fumes she had been inhaling for the past few hours.

      “About a month after my parents left, we had a quiz in Spanish,” shaking her head, she rolled her eyes. “This is so stupid, I can’t believe I’m about to tell you this.”

      “Hey, you can’t start a story and not finish it,” he protested. “And I promise not to make fun of you. Well, not too much at least,” he added, grinning, his eyes twinkling.

      “Ok, ok. Well, anyway, I was so sick of being the perfect student, and that’s all anybody saw in me, Little Miss Straight A’s. So I decided that I was going to purposely fail this Spanish quiz. I think part of it was I wanted to do something to make my parents notice me again. Obviously, getting good grades wasn’t working,” Haley grew contemplative at her last statement. Shaking it off, she continued her story, “But when it came time to take the quiz, I panicked. The part of my brain that was thinking ahead to college applications and scholarships was screaming. So I cheated off the guy who sat next to me.”

      “Haley James cheated on a Spanish quiz?” Nathan asked with raised eyebrows.

      “Yeah. The whole thing was so dumb anyway. Even if I had failed the quiz it wouldn’t have affected my grade that much, it was just a little vocab thing, barely worth any points.”

      “But you couldn’t let yourself be a failure?” Nathan questioned her knowingly.

      “Yeah. Sometimes people’s expectations of me are overbearing, but there are times when I wonder how much of it I just put on myself.”

      “I understand. I sort of did a similar thing in high school. Not like failing a test or anything. That wasn’t exactly out of the ordinary for me.”

      “So what did you do?’

      “Quit the basketball team my sophomore year.”

      “What?” she asked surprised, her eyes growing wide.

      “Well, only for like two weeks. I’m not sure why I did it even. Probably to prove something to my dad. I guess I wanted to see if...” he trailed off.

      “His love wasn’t conditional.” She finished for him.

      “Yeah. But once I realized what a dumb move it was on my part I rejoined the team. I mean basketball was my only way out of Tree Hill, the only way I had to get away from my dad.”

      “So what did he say about you quitting the team?”

      “Nothing. But the first game we had once I was back on the team, I remember him telling me right before, ‘My points per game average was 25. You’re still 2 under that Nathan.’ I went out that night and blew his record to hell. He couldn’t even act like he was happy for me. He was more concerned that a record he had set twenty years ago had been broken.” Nathan finished angrily.

      Haley rose from her chair to sit quietly beside him on the bed, both of them deep in thought. Finally she turned to him, “Isn’t it funny the things we do to impress people? To prove something to them? And you think that this newest thing you’ve thought of is going to do it. That they’ll look at you suddenly and say, “I’ve been such a fool! I love you just because. You don't need to do anything for me to love you. I just do.” Sadly, she glanced out the window. “But that moment never comes.”

      Reaching across the bed, Nathan took her hand in his. “Haley, you’re amazing. Anyone that can’t see that is an idiot.”

      “Thank you. And you’re not so bad yourself,” she joked lightly. “Ok, now that we’ve finished depressing ourselves over our crappy parents, I really do need to study.”

      “Go ahead. I’ll just amuse myself," he leered grotesquely, “thinking about Suzie in her little cheerleading uniform.”

      “Oh gross!” she exclaimed, hitting him lightly on the arm. “You know I heard a bunch of the cheerleaders talking about what they would do to you on an airplane. Very graphic,” she started out laughingly.

      Nathan didn’t miss the fact that her joking façade faded as she continued. A thought suddenly dawned on him, “You’re worried? Wow, you’re actually worried.”

      Suddenly Haley became defensive, “What? No. Of course not!”

      “Yes, you are,” Nathan insisted with a cocky smirk.

      “Ok, maybe a little, but can you blame me? I’m mean look at you,” she gestured to him, as if she was one of the Wheel of Fortune girls showing off the “brand-new car!” Then you have the cheerleaders in their little skimpy uniforms willing to do anything and everything with you.”

      “Been there, done that,” he answered, still slightly baffled as to why she was so worked up by the matter.

      “And then you have me, on the other hand. The cheerleaders are all “whoo” and I’m all not.”

      Nathan simply stared at her confused, the machinery of his male brain operating incredibly slowly. Suddenly understanding dawned on him, “Haley have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately?” he questioned her, scrambling to piece together this puzzle.

      “Yea. Do it every day. Why?” She fell back onto the bed, collapsing into the pillows, then tugged him down to her.

      Rolling over on his side, he studied her deeply. “Trust me you have nothing to be worried about. None of those cheerleaders has anything on you,” he narrowed his eyes in concentration, looking as if was mentally adding a long column of numbers in his head. “Wait, no. I take that back.”

      Appalled, Haley tried to move away from him, “Well, maybe you should go join Suzie and her chocolate syrup. I’m sure she’d be happy to see you.”

      But Nathan locked his arms around her, holding her close to him, “I meant no one has anything on you. I remember thinking very clearly the night we met that you were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. And you were fully clothed,” he finished with a laugh.

      Haley turned to him skeptically, her brow creased. “The night we met. See because I remember thinking that I looked like a wreck. God, what was I even wearing?”

      “Sweats and a Karen’s Café t-shirt. Which by the way I meant to tell you that I know Karen, the first café was in Tree Hill. She’s my brother’s mom, actually.”       

“Lucas, right?”

      “Yea, pretty much the only person in my family I like. Karen’s cool though, tried to keep me out of trouble in high school, didn’t always works but she tried. She’d love you.”

      Although he didn’t say it, Haley could sense that Nathan wished his own parents had shown the same sort of concern for him that Karen had. “I’d love to meet her and Lucas sometime.”

      “Definitely. YeaH, Karen’s café t-shirt, sweats and you were gorgeous.”

      She turned to him with a bashful grin, unable to contain her blushing. “Ah, Nathan Scott always good with the lines. Was that an alphabetical or chronological use?” she questioned recalling the first time they had gone to lunch together. “And don’t expect me to reciprocate I’m sure plenty of girls have already moaned about your hotness countless times. There’s no need for me to fuel your ego,” she punctuated this with a brief kiss to his cheek.

      “True, he agreed with her. “But I value your opinion above everybody else’s,” then he sat back up, resting on his forearms, expectantly waiting.

      “I’m not going to say it, Nathan,” she refused.

      Still he sat there, patiently and quietly waiting.

      “Ok fine. Nathan Scott is unbelievably hot,” she drawled out in a dead-pan voice. “Are you happy now?”

      “Yes, I’m always a fan of people stating the obvious," he smirked at her.

      For a few minutes they lay there, her head on his chest, his against the pillows, the sound of their breathing the only thing to be heard.

“We are such an odd pair, you know that?” Haley asked him, breaking the silence.

      “Why do you say that?”

      “Well, I’m a nerd and you’re the star of the campus.”

      “I prefer to think about it in terms that you’re hot and I’m hot and thus we should clearly be together,” he replied unable to contain his grin, even as he intertwined their hands. He grew serious and turned to her, “Actually because I love you and for god knows what reason you love me, too.”

      Haley reached up to pull him back down to her, “Because you’re you,” she stated simply. “You don’t need to prove anything to me.”

Chapters 10 - 18

1 :: 2 :: 3 :: 4 :: 5 :: 6 :: 7 :: 8 :: 9 :: 10 - 18  :: 19 - 25  :: 26 - 32  :: 33 - end