Intertwining

by Morgan

Chapter Ten

I can hear her heart beat for a thousand miles

And the heavens open every time she smiles

And when I come to her that's where I belong

Yet I'm running to her like a river's song ---Van Morrison, “Crazy Love”

       Time had seemed to freeze as Haley watched the minutes tick by in her last class of the day tortuously slow. Normally she enjoyed her biology class but the basketball team had made it to the final four and the team, band, dancers, and cheerleaders were leaving for the airport in two hours. Gradually she became aware that she wasn’t the only one who had stopped paying any attention to her professor as snippets of conversation from the guys behind her floated front.

       “Dude, you can’t beat Scott underneath. No one can touch him on rebounds.”

       Haley smiled faintly to herself as she heard the familiar words of awe. The three boys talked about the two upcoming basketball games, the odds, the players, the predicted outcomes, Haley only listening because they were much closer in proximity than her professor who seemed oblivious to her class’s restlessness. Just as Haley had decided that she had better focus on the lecture the boys’ topic of conversation changed.

       “Yea, most of the team was at the party last night. Night of celebration before they head up to New York to kick some ass. You should’ve seen all the girls that were hanging on Scott. Girl he finally decided on was fucking hot,” the one boy shared his inside gossip eagerly. His two friends lapped it up responding with a mixture of laughter and envious groans.

       “He’s with a different girl every night. I need to know his secret,” another contributed to the conversation, the other two agreeing whole-heartedly.

       By now Haley had given up any hope of concentrating on the class material. She couldn’t concentrate on anything really, except a picture of Nathan with fifty naked girls draped over him, competing to be his first conquest of the night. She considered turning around and telling the boys that they all had to be lying. She knew exactly where Nathan had been last night and it certainly hadn’t been at any party. In fact, he hadn’t been to a single party without her in over three months. Yet, a part of her realized that if she did turn around and lay claim to Nathan’s whereabouts she wouldn’t be believed. Nathan had always been comprised mostly of legend and lore. Lately the knowledge that the Nathan of story still lived on, hurt Haley more than she would’ve liked to admit.

       The boys’ conversation wasn’t the first time she had overheard a story about one of Nathan’s supposed escapades but every time they became a little harder to laugh at. She couldn’t really it explain it. She knew she shouldn’t be so upset by the stories. She knew she should be confident and secure in the fact that besides Nathan’s brother Luke she was the only one who really knew him. Maybe it was hormones, maybe it was spring fever. Or maybe it was the fact that it pained her for anyone to disrespect her relationship with Nathan. Even if they didn’t know about it.

       Nathan and Haley had never had a conversation about keeping their relationship quiet. Haley would’ve liked to believe that if they had she would’ve protested vehemently. But a part of her was afraid to bring up the subject as more time passed. It had never been a conscious decision in the beginning, but she had noticed how uncomfortable he was bringing her around to the parties. How reluctant he had been after that first party to deal with the drunk frat guys, and eager girls, how he tried to shield her. Most of their time spent together was done so off-campus out of the reach of prying eyes, or in the sanctuary of her room. The room that had really became theirs. A part of Haley had known that she had to give him time to deal with this fear he possessed before they went public with their relationship.

       Haley knew everyone wanted to control Nathan, to grasp hold of a piece of him and never let go. For their own posterity, their own glory without regard to him, to his dreams, his hopes, or his fears. His father, his coaches, his fans. She wandered helplessly if it was unforgivably selfish of her to want everyone to know that Nathan Scott belonged to her. That no matter what stories they might tell of his weekend sexual exploits come Monday morning Haley James had laid claim to him three months ago and didn’t plan to relinquish it anytime soon. Except unlike everyone else who took and took of him without regard he had offered himself to her freely and she had done likewise. A part of Haley was terrified that someone like Nathan had become so important to her so quickly. She knew already that Nathan would be the defining relationship of her life, the meter stick by which she compared all others. And she wagered that no one knew, and that thought made her nauseous sometimes. Yet as Nathan continued to peer around anxiously for her suitemates before entering her room, she chose to ignore it. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could.

       Thankfully the class had now ended and she now had a little time to relax before she needed to be on the bus to the airport. A little time to clear her head. The overheard conversation continuously replayed in her head, a soundtrack looped over her memory of last night’s actual events.

~*~

       Nathan was bone tired from tonight’s practice. It was the last practice of the season that coach was going to be tough on the player’s before the final four got into to full swing and he wanted them to be at full energy. He had taken this last opportunity to exhaust them for all it was worth, countless suicide drills, endless free throws, and rebound after rebound. Nathan dragged himself into the locker room toward the shower, thinking about everything coach had been telling him and contemplating in his mind what he was going to say to his teammates in New York before they took the floor four days from now. Although, he was only a sophomore, putting him beneath a few players seniority-wise, it was clear from his first few games freshmen year that he would become the team’s leader. He wasn’t always necessarily the one controlling the plays, leaving that up to the point guard. But his team knew that when the game was on the line and all others had become timid, nervous, and scared Nathan had the confidence, the assurance, perhaps even the cockiness to see it through the end. And so it had become tradition before game time to listen to the coach’s advice and plan for the game, a last-minute recap of their opponent’s strong and weak points, then the three seniors would say a few words. Finally, Nathan spoke. The speech never changed much from game to game. It’s message simple but clear. No matter what challenges the team faced that night they were going to fight until the very end, they would not lose. He wasn’t going to allow them to. This year’s team had clicked in a way no one could have imagined, and as Wake Forest completed a nearly perfect run to the NCAA Final Four, Nathan pondered a speech befitting the enormity of the occasion. He thought about that and he thought about Haley. It seemed he was always thinking about Haley.

       He was vaguely aware that some of his teammates were talking excitedly about a party that night. He guessed they might’ve even invited him along. The only thought on his mind was how many steps it would take him to Haley’s room where he could collapse into much-needed sleep. Upon reaching her room, he was momentarily puzzled to note that it was darkened. He, however, quickly remembered that she had a late-night meeting with her lab group. Tiredly, he rummaged around in her small refrigerator finding an apple to eat, changed into a pair of boxers that had ended up there and fell asleep with SportsCenter still flickering on the screen.

       Haley was grateful she had had the foresight to bring her winter jacket along with her when she had set out to meet her lab-group earlier that evening. The air had been unseasonably balmy but now there was a sharp crispness to the air. Shivering slightly, she pulled her jacket tighter around her body as she hurried to the warmth of her room. And Nathan.

       She was surprised to see that her room was darkened, expecting Nathan to have already returned from basketball practice. Upon spotting Nathan sprawled across her bed, shirtless, remote still in hand, she melted and was tempted to take a picture but resisted. Quietly as possible, she sat on the edge of the bed next to him, slowly prying the remote from his hand. Grabbing her towel, she plodded down the hall to the bathroom, to brush her teeth and wash her face. After changing into a t-shirt of Nathan’s that she seemed to have permanently borrowed, she attempted to walk across him on the bed to her side. Not an easy task considering that side of the bed was pushed against the wall, and to get to it literally required her standing up on the bed and stepping over Nathan’s outstretched form. Haley had greatly overestimated her balance, falling face first into Nathan’s chest with a thud. Praying uselessly that she hadn’t woken him, she looked up into his eyes, heavy with sleep, to a see a tired but still present smirk rising on his lips.

       “Well, that’s quite a greeting.” Nathan drawled seductively, his hand snaking around to rest on Haley’s lower back.

       Realizing that she was still on top of him, and was most likely cutting of his circulation, Haley rolled off to the side. With an apologetic grin she turned to him, “Sorry about waking you. I’m apparently not as coordinated as I thought.”

       “Hey, no complaints here.”

       “How was practice tonight? she asked as she settled against him, sleep quickly overpowering her.

       “Good,” he answered sleepily.

       They were both asleep seconds later.

~*~

       When Haley reached her room, Nathan was finishing up packing. Try as she might to persuade him to pack ahead of time like she had, Nathan had insisted on waiting. She had to agree with him that he wasn’t going to have as much difficulty as her packing. Unlike the band, dancers, and cheerleaders, the basketball players had very little free time to explore New York City. If they weren’t playing, they were practicing. If they weren’t practicing, they were resting. Haley wordlessly watched as Nathan made sure he had packed both of his game jerseys, as well as ample clothing to practice in. Neither one could pinpoint the exact moment Nathan’s belongings started migrating into Haley’s room.

       Haley shook her head ruefully as she noticed that Nathan was holding up his black game shorts confusedly and looking around the room in a panic.

       “Your jersey’s hanging in the closet with my black tops.”

His face relaxed visibly as he reached into the closet to find his jersey. Pulling it off the hanger, he came to stand beside her.

       “Hey, I missed you today.” What started out as a short, simple kiss had them both grasping for breath minutes later.

       “I guess you did.” she replied with a laugh, when they finally pulled apart. “So you excited about the game?”

       “Yeah.” he replied nonchalantly, distractedly.

       “You OK, Nathan? Did something happen?” she asked concerned.

       “My dad’s coming to the game”

       “Oh wow. I thought you said you wouldn’t let him come to one of your games since your senior year of high school...that you threatened to quit basketball if he showed up.”

       “I did, but as much as I want to hate the guy sometimes, I can’t. He’s still my dad. I don’t know if I’m ever going to be going to the Final Four again and I want my entire family to be there. Even if it’s contrived and artificial. I want to break free from my dad, but a big part of me still wants to make him proud. I never want him to hate me.”

       “You know I’ll support you no matter what you decide. I just want you to keep in mind that he doesn’t determine who you are. That who you decide to be is solely up to you. So I guess this means I’m going to finally get to meet your family?”

       “Yeah, I guess so.” His answer was unconvincing and noncommittal.

       All either one could do was stand there in the silence of her room, Nathan propped up against the wall, Haley leaning against his chest. Listening to the soothing rhythm of his heartbeat.

Chapter Eleven

Beauty I'd always missed

With these eyes before,

Just what the truth is

I can't say anymore.

'Cause I love you,

Yes, I love you,

Oh, how, I love you.---Moody Blues, “Nights in White Satin.”

      

       The arena was filled with sounds of celebration. The basketball team had won the NCAA tournament, and everyone was going crazy. Haley made sure that the band wasn’t leaving for the hotel for a while before pushing her way the corner where Nathan was standing with two women, and two men, one who looked to be their age. His family she supposed. If he wasn’t going to introduce her then she would just take it upon herself.

       “Not like I’m expecting him to be thinking about introducing his girlfriend to his parents at a time like this,” Haley thought to herself as she passed a sea of Wake Forest fans decked out in gold and black going wild with jubilation. But she didn’t expect Nathan’s family to be gathered again for awhile so she felt it best to partake of the opportunity. So she pushed past all the adoring fans, waited for the security guard to wave her past. Having an instrument in your hand definitely had its perks sometimes. Nathan was deep in conversation with Haley guessed was his dad, judging by the strong family resemblance. Noticing that the other three seemed to standing on the periphery, looks of discomfort on their faces, Haley stepped further forward into their line of sight. For the first time, since the game had ended, Haley saw Nathan’s face. Unlike the gleeful, child-like expressions his teammates were currently wearing, Nathan appeared uneasy, angry.

       “You should’ve watched Robinson in the paint more. He almost had your rebounding record.”

       “Dad, he was nowhere close.”

       “I’m just saying, you don’t watch and people are going to start taking what’s yours. And why’d you give that shot to Smith second half? You should’ve taken it.”

       “Because he was open and I wasn’t,” Nathan protested. “Besides, the object of the game was to win, not to get me some sort of record,” he argued. “And we did.”

       Haley had never won a national championship, but even she who had only been to every one of the games felt more elated than Nathan currently appeared. Not that she blamed him. Hearing about his father was one thing, but seeing it up close and personal was an entirely different matter. Haley wondered if his father had attended the same game she had. From her perspective, beyond the entire team winning which was enough cause for celebration, Nathan had played brilliantly, and according to those around her who actually understood the finer points of basketball he was a shoo-in to be named tournament MVP. Yet his father was lecturing Nathan as if he had blown the game completely.

       Nathan turned slightly to find Haley standing behind Karen quietly with a nervous smile on her face. He brightened considerably grasping her wrist and pulling her forward. “Hey, Haley. I want you to meet everybody. This is my mom, my brother Luke, and his mom Karen.” Each person nodded towards Haley with a smile as their name was called.

       “It’s really nice to finally meet you Haley.” Luke smiled as he shook her hand, “I’ve heard a lot of stories."

       Dan, however, was still focused on the basketball game and seemed to miss the implication that Nathan had been talking quite frequently to Luke about Haley.

       “And this is my…” Nathan started.

       “We need to talk about the scouts that were there. Maybe contact a few of them, set-up some interviews. You have to focus Nathan,” Dan interjected carelessly.

       “My dad,” he finished quietly. “Everyone this is…” he looked around at his family, Luke with a questioning expression, Deb and Karen who were as uncomfortable as always whenever Dan Scott and his son’s basketball game were involved. Finally he found Haley staring at him expectantly. “My friend, Haley,” Nathan offered, refusing to meet Haley’s gaze.

       She felt like she had been sucker-punched, but still struggled to keep her pride intact. Pasting her best perky grin on her face, she shook everyone’s hand in turn, “It’s really nice to meet everyone. I just wanted to congratulate Nathan on the game, but I should probably get going before the band leaves without me,” she laughed heartily.

       Nathan sadly supposed that he was the only one who could tell that the laughter was false. Haley turned to go, looking back reluctantly to find him staring at her, silent while his family chattered on. And then she walked away.

Chapter Twelve

You're not the only one

With mixed emotions

You're not the only ship

Adrift on this ocean---Rolling Stones, “Mixed Emotions”

       They had barely spoken in the past few days since the basketball team had returned from New York. He still slept by her side every night, but he could detect a distance, a tenseness that had never been there before. Even for her, who could sometimes be a very shy person, she had been unnaturally quiet. That day at lunch, she had hardly uttered two words to him, except to answer his questions. As they walked through the door, she finally turned to him.

       “Can I ask you a question?” Haley asked quietly, almost afraid. “Were you ever going to tell your family about me? Or was I always going to go on being your “friend?”

       “Haley. I’m sorry about that,” he started to offer lamely, but she cut him off, her reluctance and sadness replaced by anger.

       “Did you ever intend on telling anyone, Nathan? Do you know how many people know we’re dating?” she spat out, eyes flashing. Her question was met with silence and a blank stare. “That’s what I thought. Not that I’m any better. The only people I’ve told that we’ve been dating for the past three months are my family. And I’m not even sure my parents even know. I’m never quite clear on where to send letters to them. But I at least made the attempt, Nathan,” she rose up to her full height, leaning into him, wishing at that moment that he didn’t tower over her so drastically. Wished that she could be more intimidating, more powerful because underneath she was crumbling.

       “Haley…” he began again but stopped when he couldn’t find the words.

       Haley leaned against the closed door of her room, struggling to fight back the tears that were quickly forming at the corner of her eyes. She closed her eyes, fighting uselessly to regain her composure. She wasn’t an expert on matters such as these, but she supposed that the conversation, or rather argument, she was currently engaged in with Nathan didn’t require dignity or finesse.

       The part of Nathan that served to fiercely protect his pride and ego turned away from Haley to stare absently at the window. Looking outside for a solution to the problem he knew stemmed from within. Mostly though he couldn’t bear to look at Haley. Couldn’t stand to watch her falter, watch her break. He had promised himself he would pick up the pieces, glue her carefully back together if the time ever came. He should’ve known he would’ve been the one to destroy her.

       Haley forced herself to break the heavy silence, gripping tight to her anger hoping that it would provide her the strength she needed to continue. She feared that if she released it all of the other emotions boiling under the surface would swallow her whole. She had been surviving too long, getting from day to day by herself that she couldn’t allow it. She had never been a failure, never even allowing herself to come close to the edge. But then again she had never felt this strongly about anything, about anyone. It terrified her to know that this was not something she could deal with on her on, that she couldn’t approach the problem logically, outlining an effective plan of attack. Because no matter how hard she tried to reason it away, she was only one half of the problem. “I don’t even know what to say anymore, Nathan, she began tiredly. “I want to just ignore this and hope it will go away.

       “Sounds like a plan to me,” he answered still facing the window stubbornly.

       “But I know I can’t. And you know that, too. This was going to happen sooner or later. I just can’t keep pretending that this isn’t between us. You and I are not friends, at least not in the sense my introduction to your family seemed to imply. I consider you to be my best friend, Nathan, but to label me as your “friend” undermines everything we’ve been through together. Or was it one-sided? Was I going through everything alone?”

       “Of course not. Everything between has been real and you know that Haley,” Nathan replied bitterly, his jaw clenched.

       “Then why does no one know that we’re together? I used to be able to laugh at all the stories of the girls you were supposedly hooking up with but I just can’t anymore.” Her eyes were flooding once more, and she blinked the tears furiously away. Slowly, she walked across the room to sit tentatively on the edge of the bed. “I shouldn’t have to,” she added. “I tried to figure it out. You know maybe you were cheating on me.”

       At that last statement, Nathan whirled around, his eyes wide with surprise. “I would never...”

       “That’s the thing. I know that Nathan. It may not be the best reason to be so completely sure that someone is not cheating on you, but I just know. I trust you, completely and there’s a part of me that knows that you would never break that trust. And besides, I can account for your whereabouts during all of those infamous parties all the guys in my class love to talk about. So unless you were having some incredible quickies, it just wouldn’t be possible. That eliminated the cheating theory. Then I moved on to the possibility that your problem was with me. That you were ashamed of me, or embarrassed by me.”

       “What? Haley, no. You are incredible, I’m lucky to be with you. I thought you knew that,” he protested adamantly.

       “And that theory didn’t make much sense either. You can pretty much get any girl you want. They like flock to you like moths to a flame. So why would you choose to spend so much time with me if you didn’t want to, when you clearly have other options?” she finished her confidence growing slightly as she went on.

       “I am with the girl I want.”

       “Yet nobody knows. And I still can’t wrap my head around that.”

       “You’ve been fine with this for months, Haley and you’ve never said anything until now.”

       “And that’s my fault. I shouldn’t have acted like I was ok with it. I should’ve said something sooner. But I guess I was waiting, for what I don’t know,” she placed her head in her hands wearily. “I haven’t been fine with it. I was just trying to be patient, give you time to work out this issue you obviously seem to have. But as more time goes on, it becomes apparent that it’s not going to fix itself.”

       “Plenty of people know we’re together, Haley,” Nathan managed to bite out.

       “Have you ever referred to me as your girlfriend to anyone? Have we really ever been around any of your friends when they weren’t ridiculously drunk? I’d like to believe that if people truly knew that we were together that the stories would get a little less frequent,” she shook her head and let out a pitiful laugh. “I’m practical enough to realize that they wouldn’t stop entirely, all the boys would have to have something to aspire to, even if it was make-believe. I mean I’m sure plenty of people think we’re having sex.”

       “In case you haven’t noticed we are Haley,” he replied sarcastically.

       “Is that all this is to you? I’m your fuck buddy, Nathan?”

       “You know that’s not true. Damnit, I love you Haley,” his voice increasing with each syllable.

       “I just don’t understand this. I like everything to be neat and orderly and this just doesn’t make sense to me. We’re twenty years old Nathan! We’re in this relationship because we chose to be.” She helplessly feels her anger dissipating being replaced with a deep, abiding sadness. Rising from the bed, she moved to stand behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder, “I love you, I just want you to know that and maybe it’s selfish of me but I want other people to know that, too.”

       He wandered briefly if it’s possible to be consumed by your own self-loathing. Wondered how much longer she could teeter on the edge before she plunged. Wondered if he even deserved to be at the bottom to catch her  when he was the one who pushed her over.

       “Do you even know why you can’t tell people we’re in a relationship? Is there even a reason?” she questioned him, her voice tinged with resignation.

       Again she was met with silence and a blank stare, his normally brilliant blue eyes clouded over.

       “I think it would be best if you left.”

       “What? Haley don’t do this,” he tried to plead with her but she had already opened her closet door.

       Solemnly she placed a few assorted articles of clothing in his unwilling hands, returned later with his toothbrush in hand. The practical part of her wanted to mock her for feeling her heart break over the sight of a worn, blue toothbrush. The other part of her, the greater part of her, the part that belonged to Nathan understood it was because it was a tangible symbol of the intertwining of their lives. “This should be enough to last you for a few days.”

       “Haley, I don’t want to leave you like this,” he knew he should offer her more than this, knew that she had always deserved more than he could give her. All of the excuses he planned in his head sound like just that, excuses. False, hollow, misleading. Somewhere he also knew he does have a reason, a reason he didn't care to admit. He knew that it would require him acknowledging everything he tried so hard to ignore about himself. This scared him more than anything ever has. Illogically he bargained with himself that voicing it, gave it more power, made it more real somehow. He wondered if he had always been a coward.

       “I just need some time. And I think you do, too. So please leave Nathan.”

       His blue eyes gazed searchingly into her brown ones, desolate to find an emptiness he knew he has created. Kissing her chastely on the lips, he reached for the door and paused, “I love you,” he murmurred and left.

       She answered to the door, long after he has already gone, “I know. I love you, too.” And returned to the bed, numbly, staring ahead in shock. It was hours later before she began to cry.

Chapter Thirteen

Oh I am a lonely painter

I live in a box of paints

I’m frightened by the devil

And I’m drawn to those ones that ain’t afraid

I remember that time that you told me, you said

Love is touching souls

Surely you touched mine

Cause part of you pours out of me

In these lines from time to time

Oh you are in my blood like holy wine

And you taste so bitter but you taste so sweet

Oh I could drink a case of you

I could drink a case of you darling

Still I’d be on my feet

And still be on my feet ---Joni Mitchell, “A Case of You”

       Nathan stood in the gym for hours after leaving Haley, shooting free throw after free throw. Basketball being the only way he knew how to keep his mind off of her. It didn’t work. Four hundred attempted shots later and all he could concentrate on was the look in her eyes as he walked out the door. All he could think about was all the things he had said. All the things he didn’t say. All the things he needed to say. But yet that part of him persisted stubbornly determined to prove that one more lap around the track, one more jump shot was all he needed to forget her. That he’d be able to forget her in time. Or at the very least that he would be able to exhaust himself to such a great extent that he could sleep peacefully that night.

       So he dragged himself to his room, unsure that he even had the keys to his room with him. It had been so long since he had even been there, tried to remember if he had locked it the last time he was there. It had been months since he had slept in is own bed, preferring to sleep beside Haley. He had been with her every night except one weekend when a couple of her friends from home came to visit. Opening the door which was thankfully unlocked he noticed how bare and empty the room seemed. All of the decorations were still there, the poster of the basketball schedule, a couple of pictures of his family, of Luke and him from high school their arms around each other hoisting the trophy for the North Carolina State Basketball Championships high in the air in jubilation. The navy blue comforter was still in the same rumpled state it was always in. Time had frozen in this room, a constant reminder of who he used to be. He wished he could return to that person; recapture the cockiness, the smugness. Figured it would be easier to deal with than the emptiness.

       Nathan considered calling Luke but after a quick mental calculation he realized that it was only one in California where Luke was at Stanford and that he was probably still in class. Tiredly Nathan settled into his bed.  Before it had always seemed inadequate to accommodate his large frame. Now it stretched on for miles with the absence of a small form curled into his side..without her hand curled over his heart. Nathan felt nauseous, anxious, desperate. Mostly he just felt lonely. Lonelier than he had ever imagined. Thousands of thoughts swirled in his head, taunting him, tormenting him. Unable to sleep, he stared at the ceiling, at the blinking red light of the smoke detector in the corner in his room, at the green numbers of his alarm clock as the minutes ticked by until his eyelids closed heavy with exhaustion.

       This routine continued for four days. He had become desperate for new ways to not be thinking of Haley. So far all of them had proven tremendously unsuccessful. He had spent countless hours in the gym, but now that the season was over it was just him alone with his thoughts, which always seemed to come back to her. He even tried studying harder than he ever had in his life. Attempted to lose himself in his studies, but studying just seemed to remind him of her. Most things did.

       Ashamed of himself, he made a pathetic attempt to flirt with some girls, but couldn’t help mentally listing all the things that made them not Haley. One girl had managed to have fifty-six non-Haleyisms accounted for in Nathan’s head before she finally took the hint that he was paying her no attention. The suave lines he used to be able to deliver so easily left a bitter taste in his throat now. He would still use them occasionally on Haley, watching her as she blushed, waiting for her usual witty response, the joint laughter that would follow. The difference was they had always been genuine with her. So he settled on just smirking at the girls, letting them bask in his presence. Allowed them to swoon over his muscles, his chiseled jaw, and his eyes. It seemed to work for them. He wished he could say the same for himself.

       Walking back from his last class on that fourth day, he passed some of the guys on the team. “Scott! You coming to the party tonight?”

       He had tried everything else, it was worth a shot. “Of course,” he shot back and walked away, replaying his reply in his head to determine if it had been convincing. But then again, no one had ever really paid him much attention beyond his façade, so one more performance wouldn’t be out of the ordinary. Everyone would still be fooled.

       Later that night, he reluctantly dressed for the party, staring at himself critically in the mirror. With a sigh of resignation, he began the trek across campus. Somewhere in the back of his mind he remembered that he was Nathan Scott. Nathan Scott didn’t walk anywhere. He strutted, he swaggered, and he conquered. He was Nathan Scott and he was going to drink himself into an oblivion, find some willing girl. And forget all about Haley James. He figured the first two would be fairly easy, but doubted his ability to accomplish the third.

       Sauntering into the party, Nathan greeted a group of his teammates, and the girls attached to them, with his infamous smirk, catching a beer that one of them tossed to him with a nod of his head.

       “Hey Scott. What’s up man?”

       “Nothing much. The usual,” he answered smugly. He seemed to remember this being easier, the confident words, the air of superiority.

       “On the prowl again,” another stated more than he questioned as he moved to slap hands with Nathan, moving to pat him heartily on the back.

       Nathan froze momentarily, the words stuck in his throat. “Nah. I let them come to me.”

       “Well, you won’t be waiting long. Hot brunette by the door is looking your way.”

       Nathan couldn’t decide whether to hope it was Haley. He couldn’t decide whether to hope that she would save him from the mess he was making of himself. Or hope furiously that it wasn’t. Not wanting her to see him like this. Not wanting her to see him in shambles, living up to everyone else’s expectations of him. Stepping around his teammate, he caught sight of the girl in the door.

       She was not Haley. Nathan wagered that the girl was pretty. He might’ve even classified her as hot. Many would’ve been shocked to learn that Nathan Scott was currently inspecting a girl’s physical features objectively, with an air of disinterest. The girl in question was about the same height as Haley, about the same approximate hair color. But even from across the room, his vision slightly hazy from the alcohol she remained a pale imitation.

       Yet he still let her saunter up to him. Watched as she pressed herself forward so he would get a clear view of her ample cleavage. A part of him figured that he shouldn’t have been quite so amused by the spectacle if he was going to retain his reputation as a ladies’ man. With closer inspection, Nathan realized that she really bore no resemblance to Haley at all. Her hair had too much blonde in it, unlike Haley’s which sometimes shone red in the sunlight. When she laughed her eyes remained the same listless, dull brown color as always. He wondered if he squinted enough if he could imagine the flashes of gold that would sparkle in Haley’s eyes. She also lacked the presence, the strength that emanated from Haley. Nathan had consciously said at least five asshole comments to her in the last five minutes, and she had laughed uproariously at every single one. “Haley would’ve totally called me on that,” he thought to himself after his last attempt to piss the girl off, with a mixture of pride and regret. This girl would willingly accept this arrogant, rude version of Nathan simply if it meant she got to sleep with him. Nathan couldn’t accept that.

       He didn’t want to be the person he was when he was without Haley. Even as he watched himself go through the motions he had performed so many nights before he met Haley, he wished desperately that he could somehow gain the courage to leave. To return to Haley where he belonged.

       Haley James had managed to ingrain herself in him, in his life, in his heart. And he knew deep down that no amount of alcohol or casual sex would ever erase that, would ever erase the feeling he got when he was around her. That no one could ever calm him the way she did, ease his doubts, soothe his fears. He couldn’t look himself in the mirror anymore without seeing her face in his eyes. Now with this other girl trying to lure him to bed, he allowed himself to think about her for the first time in four days.

       He was the only one blessed enough to have seen the true grace of her soul. To have witnessed the magnificent beauty of her heart. He marveled that she had chosen to share it with him, couldn’t help but feel vastly undeserving. Nathan knew Haley better than anyone. Beyond knowing the tangible things like that she still cried at the end of Casablanca after seeing it a million times. Or that she would sometimes sing softly to herself as she studied, and when she forgot the words to one song she would insert the words from another. Nathan chuckled to himself as he remembered one night she had been folding her laundry, humming Metallica’s Unforgiven to herself when he noticed that the words didn’t seem right anymore. Listening further, he realized taht she had started using the words to Justin Timberlake’s Senorita. Nights like those Nathan would stand motionless in the doorway, captivated. Attempted to be as still as possible before she became aware of his presence and grew self-conscious, cutting off her singing with an embarrassed laugh.

       He knew her better than anyone. Perhaps even better than she knew herself. They could both effortlessly rattle off her favorite book, her favorite band, her plans for graduation, what she wanted to accomplish in life. Her hopes, her fears, her dreams, her passions. He knew the things she was afraid to admit to herself, the things she could only acknowledge in the solitude of her own heart. Knew she was afraid of failure, of always being ordinary. Of fading away into the background. Knew that although she often joked that it was great for her that her parents had moved away because “it gave her free reign to hold as many wild, drunken orgies as she pleased” she sometimes wondered if there was something lacking in her. He knew that Haley wanted more than anything to be everything to someone. To be needed by someone. And now as Nathan sat on the couch, a beer in hand, a stunningly poor substitution for Haley giggling into his ear, he knew without a doubt that he was that person.

       After four days, something in him snapped and he rose quickly from the couch, freeing himself from the girl’s grasp. Oblivious to the girl’s protests and the curious stares of the other party-goers, he walked out the door.

People would whisper about this for weeks. Nathan Scott had left a party, relatively sober and without a girl. He walked hastily into the warm spring air, feared if he didn’t hurry he would lose his nerve, almost breaking into a run. Knocking on the door impatiently, a sense of calmness washed over him when a sleepy figure emerged at the door.

       “Nathan, it’s two in the morning. You smell like cigarette smoke,” she rubbed her eyes tiredly.

       “Haley, I have to talk to you.”

  She rested her head on the door frame, before gesturing him for him to enter.

Chapter Fourteen

Maybe I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time

Maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you

Maybe I'm amazed at the way you pull me out of time

hung me on the line

Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you

Maybe I'm a man,

Maybe I'm a lonely man who's in the middle of something

that he doesn't really understand

Maybe I'm a man

Maybe you're the only woman who can ever help me

baby, won't you help me to understand---Paul McCartney, “Maybe I’m Amazed”

       He took her in, her hair was a rumpled mess, and her eyes were barely open. And she was beautiful. Suddenly his panic to come over here didn't seem like such a wise idea anymore as he fumbled to find sufficient words. Taking a settling breath, and counting to three, he tried to explain everything to her, “I’m not proud of the decisions I’ve made, or the person I’ve been. The person I am,” he amended.

       Haley shook the cobwebs off her brain, eying Nathan, waiting for comprehension. “I don’t understand what that has to do with you wanting to keep our relationship a secret.”

       “I’m not good at this, not good with words.”

       She rolled her eyes in disbelief, "Nathan Scott, King of Lines? C’mon, you’re a master at this.”

       “No, not like this. Not at the truth. I can lie with the best of them, but I’ve never been very good with the truth. I never needed to be until you came along and saw right through me.”

       She felt it best just to let him continue, chose to climb back onto the bed to wait patiently for him to continue.

       Nathan’s brow was furrowed in concentration, trying feebly to put everything in order. Abruptly, he broke the silence, “What’s my favorite color?”

       “What?” she asked confused.

       “C’mon Hales, just answer the question."

       “Fine. Your favorite color is blue,” with an exasperated sigh, she answered reluctantly.

       “Favorite band?”

       “Please don’t tell me you came over here to conduct a survey, Nathan.”

Moving closer to her, with his best puppy-dog face, he pleaded. “Just bear with me.  I have a point I promise. Please, Hales.”

       “I really hate it when you make that face, “she grumbled, narrowing her eyes at him. “Rolling Stones.”

       “How’d I get the scar on my elbow?”

       “Luke and you made a bet with guys from one of your rival high schools. You were playing on asphalt, ball got loose, you dove for it, and cut your elbow open.”

       “What do I want to do after graduation?”

       “Play pro for a while, then start your own small business of some kind after your basketball career’s over,” she began to answer the questions rapidly, not needing to pause to ponder the answers.

       “How many rebounds did I have this season? How many assists? How many points? How many minutes did I play in the game against Duke?” he shot off his questions briskly.

       And was met with a confused stare. Haley scrunched her face in thought, “Umm…I don’t know. A lot?” she tried.

       “There are people on this campus that couldn’t even begin to imagine the answers to those first questions. But those same people can rattle off all my basketball stats, my prospects for being drafted. How many girls I’ve slept with long after I lost track,” he finished bitterly. “And I live up to their image of me every single day. I’ve never done anything to make them think twice about their opinion of me. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten away with stuff, just because I’m good at basketball, and girls think I’m good-looking.”

       “You are,” Haley muttered under her breath, and then picked up her head to really look at him for the first time that night. She was stunned to see such a fierce mask of self-loathing on Nathan’s face. “And what?  You think that I’m so superficial that I’d give in to everyone else’s opinions?”

       “No. It’s just like I’m constantly waiting for you to figure out that I’m going disappoint, for you to realize what an immense screw-up I am. I guess subconsciously I figured it was better to just push you away than have to deal with you looking at me someday and seeing what everyone else sees.”

       Tugging on his hand, she dragged him down to the bed, to sit beside her. “Ok, first off, you’re going to have to try a lot harder than that to get rid of me.” She noted his tired, defeated posture, and fully understood now that this had nothing to do with how he felt about her, but rather how he felt about himself. “You know why I like to watch you play basketball? she asked, turning to him. His shoulders remained slumped, his head hung, so she continued, “Not because you’re great at it, although I would be the last person to deny that. You have an incredible talent, Nathan. No, I like to watch you play simply because it makes you happy.”

       Nathan lifted his head searching Haley for clarification.

       “Before and after the games you always look as if you have the weight of the world on your shoulders, but when you step onto the court, I don’t know. It’s like everything else fades away and there is this pure joy that just radiates from you. And it’s powerful. I don’t really understand the finer points of basketball, but I understand passion.”

       “Except you,” he mumbled.

       “What?”

       “Everything else fades away except you. I’ve mastered the art of blocking everything out. I’ve even managed to ignore my dad’s voice in my head, after years of him giving me unwanted advice. Except you. I can’t figure out how to ignore you,” he closed his eyes, and expeled a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. “And I don’t want to. This season whenever the game was getting tight and I was starting to lose my focus, I’d just concentrate on you because you’re the only thing that calms me.”

       “Nathan.”

       “But the fact remains that I’m a jack-ass. I’ve hurt people, used them just because I can. I just saw you at the game, standing next to my family, next to my dad who made me into the person I am and I just panicked.”

       She stared straight ahead for a few minutes, picking at imaginary lint on her comforter before beginning, “You’re a good person, Nathan. You’ve made mistakes in the past, yes. But we all have. That doesn’t decide who you are today.”

       “You’re the first person who has ever seen me as the person I want to be rather than the person everyone thinks I am,” Nathan choked out, his voice thick with emotions.

       “Sometimes I hear all the stories about you around campus, about the things you’ve done, the things people say you still do. The parties, the girls. And then I try to reconcile that image with the man I know you are and I just can’t sometimes. I wonder how the person who will go over flashcards with me for two hours just because I’m panicking over a test, or laughs at my dorky jokes, who will offer to skip basketball practice to sit in a car with me for eight hours just because he’s worried about me, the same person who looks like a lost little boy every time he gets off the phone with his dad can possibly be the same person as this legend people have built up,” absent-mindedly, she slowly rubbed his back soothingly. “You said that I see you as the person you want to be. I think that’s true of everyone in some regard. Most people have us pigeon-holed from the first meeting and we spend the rest of our time either futilely fighting to change their opinion of us or to constantly live up to their expectation. And no one notices the toll it takes on us. No one bothers to ask if this is what we wanted. But there are always a few that have the ability to break down those walls that we’ve put up. Sometimes whether we wanted them to or not.” Haley stopped momentarily to blink away tears, “I truly believe that no one else is ever going to say my name the way you do or look at me the way you do.”

       Nathan felt like he should add something to the conversation, but everything that came to mind felt inadequate. “I just want you to know without a doubt that my fear of making our relationship public had absolutely nothing to do with you.” He reconsiders this, “Well, I guess that’s not entirely true because it had to do with your perception of me. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I just felt like you were going to see what I’m really like and that you wouldn’t necessarily leave me but that I’d destroy you, strip you of your beauty.”

       Resting her chin on his shoulder, she intertwined her hand with his, “I have seen what you’re really like, Nathan,” she stated forcefully.

       He looked at her not entirely convinced, not believing.

       “I went into this relationship with my eyes open. I’ve heard all the stories about you. I’m not naïve Nathan. If all I saw in you was a good-looking basketball player who was good with pick-up lines we wouldn’t be here right now. I’d just chalk it up to a few months of great sex and move on. Maybe, even burn a few of your things.”

       He chuckled despite himself at this last statement.

       “But from the very beginning it’s always been more than that. I’m the happiest when I’m with you. And I love you. Not the image of you, but the real you. The one that sings horribly off-key to the oldies station whenever we’re in the car, and knows all the words to the Wizard of Oz, and steals my newspaper in the mornings just so you can do the word jumble. I love that person and that person just happens to be an incredibly good-looking guy who’s great at basketball.

       Lifting his head toward her, the smirk slowly returned to his face, “So I’m incredibly good-looking, huh?” he drawled, eyebrows raised.

       “Oh, look. There’s the ego. Hello, Mr. Ego, we’ve missed you so much,” she teased, her smile lighting up her face.

       He studied her for a few moments, breathing in her presence, a smile curling at the corners of his mouth before tugging her up off the bed. “Get dressed,” he ordered her out of the blue.

       “What? It’s almost three in the morning?”

       “Please, just do it.”

       After she finished dressing, he draged her hurriedly to the parking lot.

       Haley rested her head against the seat back once they started driving, too tired to protest anymore, aware of the fact that Nathan continuously glanced over at her. As if to check that she was really there. “Where could you possibly need to go at three in the morning?” she asked groggily.

       Rubbing the hand that was currently resting on his hand, he whispered “Just go back to sleep. I’ll let you know when we’re there.”

       She did as he asked and dozed off, but eventually the awkward position was no longer bearable. Opening her eyes slowly she read a sign saying 'Tree Hill 10 Miles'. She noticed that the sun had come up in a blaze of reds, and oranges, looked at the clock in the car and realized that they have been driving for almost three hours. “Nathan?”

       “We’re almost there.”

       With an encouraging nod, that Haley wagers is more for his benefit than hers, Nathan finally steered the Escalade into the driveway of a looming house. The lawn was immaculate; the luxury sports car parked in the driveway sparkling clean. Clutching her hand tightly, he pushed the front door open, and walked in confidently. Hand in hand, they strolled back past a few lavishly furnished rooms before coming to the dining room, where a blond female is analyzing investment reports while her dark-haired husband reads the sports page over his morning coffee. Nathan ignored his dad’s questioning, critical look when they noticed him standing at the foot of the table.

       Grasping Haley’s hand tighter, he pulled her closer to him, “Mom, Dad…”

Chapter Fifteen

Lay beside me

Tell me what they've done

Speak the words I wanna hear

To make my demons run

The door is locked now

But it's open if you're true

If you can understand the me

Then I can understand the you

Lay beside me

Under wicked sky

The black of day

Dark of night

We share this paralyze---Metallica, “The Unforgiven II”

       Dan glanced up from the newspaper, folded it calmly, as if his son who was supposed to be away at college showed up with a girl in tow every morning at 6 am. Nathan had been feebly hoping for more of a reaction, but knew this is exactly what Dan’s response would be. It twisted his stomach in knots that Nathan had started to build a life for himself, and Dan was cool and collected as always. Always quietly planning. Nathan knew he wouldn’t yell or throw things or even raise his voice, though part of him wished he would. That he would show some sort of emotion, besides the smug smile of satisfaction that grew from Dan believing that he remained in control. Nathan glanced over to evaluate Deb’s reaction. He smirked at her usual display of indecisiveness. She had gone for surprised first, tried a happy perfect-mom face out, and then snuck a glance over at Dan to determine what reaction she should have to cause the least amount of repercussion later. The way Nathan saw it, his parents made the perfect couple. Deb couldn’t make a decision, but luckily for her she had Dan, who was more than happy to make everyone’s decisions for them.

       “Nathan. It’s certainly a pleasant surprise to see you this morning.” Dan acknowledged Nathan in the same tone of voice he used to hustle cars down at the dealership. “And..”

       “Haley,” she responded with a polite smile.

       “Right. It’s so good to see you again,” his cool disdain implied otherwise, his eyes boring into her.

  Standing her ground, Haley kept her gaze fixed on him, a steady grin on her face.

       Feeling uneasy with the tension in the room, Deb jumped up out of her chair, with a bright, perky expression. “Haley, why I don’t I give you a tour of the house,” even as she was finishing her non-question, Deb made a beeline for the kitchen door.

       Haley squeezed Nathan’s hand encouragingly and turned to follow Deb, but not before standing on her tip-toes to whisper in his ear, “Don’t miss me too much. He tries anything and I’ll totally kick his ass,” she whispered seriously. Nathan struggled to maintain a straight face.

Opening the refrigerator, Nathan deliberately poured himself an orange juice, biding his time. “Just say it dad,” Nathan propped himself against the kitchen counter, arms folded across his chest, sipping his juice slowly, determined for once to not let Dan get the best of him.

Feigning ignorance, Dan’s eyes widened slightly, “What?”

     Nathan scoffed, stifling an urge to roll his eyes. “You always have something to say. Usually without anyone wanting to hear it. But I’ve given you a rare opportunity to express your opinion by request.”

       “Well, I guess now is as good a time as any to talk to you about some issues that need to be solved.”

       Ahh, the classic opening line. Nathan waited expectantly for Dan’s usual speech about basketball and the path of Nathan’s line to commence.

       “I talked to some of the pro scouts recently about your chances in the upcoming years.”

       “Let’s see. Unwanted interference, check,” Nathan thought to himself. He resisted the urge to act as he would’ve when he was younger, with a loud outburst. He had learned over the years that only served further Dan’s conviction that Nathan couldn’t make any decisions for himself if he was going to get “emotional about every little thing.”

       Dan had been manipulating everyone in his path for as long as Nathan could remember, and he wagered for much longer than that. Basketball had simply been his methodology. Until he started high school, Nathan hadn’t yet realized the impact that basketball and Dan would have on his life. The combination of the two was sometimes more than he could bear. From the moment Nathan was the only freshman to be named to the varsity team Dan’s presence in his life had been single-minded, destroying anyone who might think to get in the way of his son’s journey to basketball greatness. Nathan hadn’t even really made the varsity team. It was true that he had the most natural talent, and was the most driven of the boys trying out that year, but Whitey didn’t believe in placing freshmen on varsity. Thought they should get one more year to just play the game for the pure love of it, before the pressure-cooker began, but Whitey also liked his job. And after Dan had finished threatening, bullying, and belittling everyone involved with the athletics department, Nathan was suiting up on varsity. Nathan wished time and time again that just one person had stood up to Dan.

       “But imagine my surprise when they informed me that you had already been encouraged by more than one to enter the draft this year. Imagine my even greater surprise when I learned that you turned them down. I had just hoped the day had come when you were going to grow up and stop making such stupid decisions, Nathan,” Dan’s voice never changed pitch, his smug grin never leaving his face.

       A moment of clarity struck Nathan, his awe coupled with fear of his dad, could be a thing of the past, if he chose so. His interaction with his father was nothing more than another choice to make.

       “Why are you surprised, dad? Surprised that I turned down offers to attempt to go pro when I’m twenty-years old. When I still have the chance to get a good education, provide myself with a back-up plan in case something happens to me and I can’t play ball anymore?” Nathan lifted his chin so his gaze was set firmly on Dan, “After all injuries happen, Dad.  You know that better than anyone. Or are you just surprised because I made a decision for myself that you had no input in. Surprised to realize that I don’t really need you anymore. Don’t need you to dictate every aspect of my life anymore. Or rather I won’t.”

       “Of course you still need me. How else are you going to survive, get by out there? After everything we’ve worked all these years for, you’re just going to throw it all away.”

       “See, that’s what does it, dad. It’s my career, my choice when I go pro. If I do. And it’s not what ‘we’ worked for. It’s what I worked for dad. Me, not you. I was the one running at 5 am every morning, who stayed an extra hour after practice to work on my jump shot. Me, not you,” he intoned forcefully, his words carefully and deliberately selected.

       “So what? You’re just going to cut me out of your life? After everything I’ve done for you? How are you planning on paying for things?”

       “No, I’m not. I still want you to be in my life, I just want you to recognize that it’s my life. And I don’t know if you’ve forgotten, but I’m on a full scholarship and I have more than enough money from being a counselor at basketball camps all those years. Trust me, I can get by,” Nathan calmly informed him.

       “Well, now that we’ve apparently settled that matter, can I offer you a few words of advice on that girl?”

       “I’d say no, but when has that ever stopped you before,” Nathan’s falsely pleasant tone grew rapidly icy, “And her name is Haley.”

       “She’s just going to ruin things for you. Distract you from basketball, from everything that’s important.”

       “She is important. And your theory that she’ll distract me from basketball is kind of a moot point, because we’ve been together pretty much the entire season,” Nathan grinned confidently, “And I don’t know about you, but I’d say the season went pretty well.”

       Dan regarded Nathan just as calmly, turning the paper to the next section. “I know you think that you can balance it all now. But sooner or later, you’ll have to make a choice.”

       Clenching his jaw, trying to maintain control of his seething anger, “You’re right, dad, you’re absolutely right. Somewhere down the line, I may have to make a choice. But it’ll be my choice. I know you think that I can’t possibly balance my potential basketball career, and a relationship, just because you couldn’t. But you know what? No matter how much you tried to mold me, make me into your little clone, I’m still not you. Hell, I’m already doing way better with the balancing act. I’ve been a starter since practically the beginning of college. You, played what? 5, 6 games.” Nathan figured if there was ever a time for his dad to snap and become physically abusive now would probably be it, as he watched his father’s eyes darken with rage, but still he walked the line, “I have a relationship with Haley. You, ok. Well, credit for being with mom. And I have a relationship with my brother. One that’s not based on demeaning him just so I can feel better about myself. How long has it been since you talked to Keith?”

       “It’s your choice to have a relationship with Lucas,” Dan sneered, placing careful emphasis on Lucas’s name.

       Nathan could do nothing but chuckle unbelievingly. “It’s great how when it’s convenient for you, you morph into the biggest Lucas supporter in the world. That’s to be expected though, isn’t it? Your relationships are all solely dictated for you.”

       Dan raised his eyebrows considerably, his face drawn into a tight line, “And what? You’re jealous Nathan?” he questioned him, with an air of hope.

       “Of course not. I know you hate that I’m close to Lucas because it’s just an example of how you failed to control everything. It was a nice touch though trying to form a relationship with him, later on, to act as if the whole thing had been your idea in the first place.”

       “You’re going to regret this someday, Nathan.”

       “You’re the one with the regrets, Dad. I’ve let you guide me for too long. I want you to be in my life. I do. But I can’t have you living vicariously through me any longer. Whether or not I have a pro career, it doesn’t change the fact that I’m still your son.” Nathan spotted Haley and Deb, standing awkwardly outside, pretending to be engrossed in some family pictures hanging on the mantle. Walking toward them, Haley turned to Nathan with a small, smile, an understanding look in her eye. “It’s pretty sad that I have to remind you of that,” Nathan finished bitterly as he hugged Deb good-bye, took Haley’s hand and walked out the door.

       Haley paused a beat, quietly studying Nathan’s clenched jaw.  "Well, that was fun.  Might I just say that if I had known you in high school, I would’ve never left your bedroom.”

       His tension fading he smirked cockily at her, tilting his head sideways. “Reeaally?”

       “Don’t get so full of yourself. I meant the entertainment system,” she joked.

       “So you would’ve been using me for my television?”

  Haley pretended to ponder this thought deeply for a minute. “Pretty much,” she answered seriously before breaking into a wide grin.

       “Good to know your priorities are in order.”

       Deciding it was now safe to change the subject, Haley gently questioned him. “So how’d things go with your Dad? What did he have to say about you and me?”

       Nathan was busy fishing in his pocket for the car keys. “Eh. The usual. You’re going to be disastrous for my basketball career.”

       She buckled her seatbelt, drawing her knees to her chest. “And do you believe that?”

       “No, I know it’s not true. Plenty of pro players have been in relationships. No, my dad’s problem with me maintaining any sort of relationship stems more from his bitterness that his opinion isn’t the most important to me anymore than any actual concern for the state of my personal life. It was weird though.”

       “What was?”

       “I finally said all the things I had wanted to say for years to him, and it was easy. Incredibly easy. All I could think about was the fact that I could’ve done this years ago. I don’t know why I didn’t.” His hand searched for hers, linking their hands together, he amended, “That’s not true. I just never had the security of knowing someone would support me in my decisions before, so I was too scared to make any.”

       Haley laid her head on his shoulder as he drove, “Could you possibly make a decision to buy breakfast? I’m starving.”

       He swiveled his head to regard her skeptically. “So I just had a tense, emotionally-wrenching conversation with my dad, that has been brewing for years and all you can think about is food?” he teased her, pretending to be hurt.

       “Hey, touring your house is exhausting,” she whined. “Besides, you can give me a play-by-play later. I’m not going anywhere.”

       “Me neither.”

Chapter Sixteen

Hey, my love, you came to me like

Wine comes to this mouth

Grown tired of water all the time

You quench my heart and you

Quench my mind

Celebrate we will

Because life is short but sweet for certain

We’re climbing two by two

To be sure these days continue,

The things we cannot ---Dave Matthews Band, “Two Step”

Haley was happily engrossed with her waffles, oblivious to her surroundings before she noticed that Nathan had stopped eating to watch her. “What?” she asked growing self-conscious, examining her shirt for syrup stains. She had been known to become overzealous when waffles were involved in the past.

“Leave some for the rest of us,” he joked lightly.

“Haha. I was going to share some of my waffles with you, but now you’re being mean to me.”

“I don’t even like waffles, Haley,” he argued.

“I know,” she replied swirling a piece in syrup and putting it in her mouth slowly, tauntingly. “That’s why I ordered them.”

Further on into their meal, Haley tried to stifle a yawn. “I think I’m just going to take a nap when we get back to school and skip my morning classes,” narrowing her eyes, she continued in a sarcastic voice. “‘Because someone had to drag me out of bed at 2 in the morning."

Nathan smirked at her lasciviously, his voice dropping into a low whisper. “Oh, Haley James, not going to class. What is the world coming to these days? I’ll more than make it up to you when we get back to bed.”

Haley carefully placed an annoyed, disbelieving look on her face, even as she wanted to giggle like a little girl. “Who said anything about we?”

“You know you missed me. Sleeping together. The very enjoyable parts leading up to it.” Nathan was observing her thoroughly, waiting to see how long she could last before succumbing to a blush.

“Ha. I missed you. Says who?” she returned to her waffles mistakenly thinking she had won the battle.

But Nathan scooped the ground ball up and lobbed it towards home. “Says the girl who was sleeping in my jersey.”

Haley huffed, knowing she had been defeated. “It smells like you,” she muttered under her breath.

“What was that? I didn’t hear you?”

“I said it smells like you,” she replied loudly.

“If you enjoy the smell of my jersey so much, just think how good the real thing will be.” Enjoying watching Haley squirm, trying to hold back her blush, he ran his eyes over her body, and smirked appreciatively to push her over the edge.

“That’s fine. Two can play that game,” Haley thought to herself.

Nathan’s eye widened in shock, and his breathing became erratic as Haley continued to rub her foot teasingly up his calf, while she pretended to innocently eat her waffles. Swallowing hard, “Ok, you should probably stop that before I start wanting to do things to you that really aren’t appropriate for a public place.”

Asking in a sweet voice, “What things?” Haley batted her eyelashes unwittingly, triumphantly taking in Nathan’s flustered expression. “Ohhh. Is the great Nathan Scott hot and bothered?”

“It’s pretty much a given when you’re involved.”

She grinned at him, and after they had paid, she stood to leave. “Let’s go. We have a bed to attend to.”

“Don’t need to tell me twice.”

Their coming together when they returned to Haley’s room was frantic and urgent, stopping only to erupt into giggles when Nathan’s zipper stubbornly refused to open. “God, I missed you. I love you,” Haley moaned.

“I love you, too,” he returned breathlessly.

Afterwards both exhausted, they quickly drifted off into sleep for the first time in four days, cocooned together. As the afternoon sun, streamed in brightly, Haley woke with a groan, rubbing the bridge of her nose. Groggily she slowly recognized that she seemed to have quite a bit more room in the bed. Rolling over she realized Nathan was no longer lying beside her. Panicky, she sat up quickly, her eyes searching frantically.

“Do you want to go out for lunch later on?” sitting at her desk in his boxers, hair mussed from sleep, Nathan flipped his cell phone shut.

Unconsciously Haley breathed a deep sigh of relief. “What are you doing all the way over there? For a second there, I thought you had left,” she pouted.

“Had to make a phone call. And besides, you’re stuck with me.”

“I like the sound of that,” she answered as she crawled out of bed reluctantly to rummage through her dresser for a pair of pants, Nathan’s eyes following her every move. “Lunch sounds good.”

“Great.”

“Why do you seem nervous?” she questioned him curiously.

Nathan quickly moved to counter, “I’m not nervous. Why would I seem nervous?” he stuttered.

“You’re doing that knee-jiggling thing you do. You only do that when you’re nervous about something,” she confidently informed him, slipping into her jeans. “It’s just lunch. We’re very good at lunch.”

Running a hand through his already ruffled hair,  ”I, um…may have asked some of the guys to meet me for lunch,” Nathan worriedly explained.

“And by guys, you mean what, exactly?”

“Thebasketballteam,” he shot out in one breath. “Well, the ones that can make it at least.”

Finishing putting her jewelry on, Haley arranged herself in Nathan’s lap, “So are you nervous about me meeting them or them meeting me?”

“I guess a little of both, because once this happens there’s no turning back. I feel this is the way my life is meant to be, with you, but it’s still nerve-racking. .”

“If things get difficult at lunch, just remember that you’re definitely getting lucky tonight,” kissing him hard on the mouth and winking at him, she rose to grab her coat.

“Somehow I don’t think that’s going to help,” he groaned. “And I should probably tell you before we go that I’m not responsible for any of their idiotic opinions. And believe me they have quite a few.”

Arriving at Palermo’s Pizza, Haley had no trouble finding seven members of the basketball team, already assembled around two tables they had pushed together. “I can see why you’re friends with them. They’re very easy to spot in a crowd,” she joked.

Amused, she watched at they proceeded to perform the whole man-hug-hand-shake greeting ritual. “Scott! What’s up man? Crashed and burned at the party last night” one of them mocked. “Guess it happens to the master, too.”

“Nah, I just decided to go in a different direction.”

The guys on the team became cognizant of a small brunette girl, who had previously been hidden behind Nathan, standing close to Nathan’s side. They passed looks of surprise but quickly wrote it off as Nathan trying to atone for last night’s party blunder. However, their minds were baffled when Nathan slung his arm around the girl’s shoulder, pulling her even closer to him. If there was anything Nathan valued more than a good roll in the hay, it was his independence. He was rarely spotted with a girl in the daylight. Nathan wasn’t the type of guy who believed in public displays of affection, didn’t believe in starting something unless he was going to finish it. At least they thought so.

Nathan didn’t miss their confused expressions, pulling out Haley’s chair for her; he sat down next to her. Unaffected he opened a menu, “Oh hey, guys. This is my girlfriend, Haley.” It struck him giddily that that was the first time he had ever uttered the words. And marveled at how easily they rolled off his tongue. It left him wondering what he had been so scared of, he supposed it was somewhat like the start of a basketball game. Before the beginning tip-off his feet would become leaden, his mouth dry, but once the opening whistle sounded, everything else just faded away. Except Haley, who caught his eye, breaking into a joyful smile, her brown eyes flashing in shades of gold. Unnoticed by the others, she reached for his hand under the table, firmly joining them together.

The guys on the team stared at Nathan as if he had grown a second-head. They must’ve heard wrong. It was ridiculous. Because they could’ve sworn Nathan Scott just said “girlfriend.” More than one of them struggled to keep from bursting into disbelieving laughter. But Nathan returned their examining eyes challengingly, his façade a near mirror of the look that would pass over his face during a tense basketball game. During time-outs right before they broke from the huddle to return to play, and he would warn them in a menacing tone to “Quit, jacking around. Now.”

“Haley, this is Mark, Jamal, Chris, Kevin, Eli, Rob, and Kyle.” still shell-shocked each one nodded his head in turn.

Haley discerned how easily Nathan slipped into his role of leader. The calm, collected, cocky one. It was blatantly clear the other guys looked up to him, but any last-minute worries she may have had, disappeared without a trace, as his calloused thumb began making small circles on the back of her hand.

Well into their meals the guys were still sitting with a mixture of bewilderment, curiousness, and stunned surprised written clearly on their faces. Nervously, they tried to tailor their usual conversation to something they felt might be appropriate and not entirely offensive for Haley to listen to. Sometimes greatly unsuccessful. Early on, Kevin had tried to rib Nathan about the girl who had failed to seduce him at the party, but when he was met with a deadly glare, all the guys decided it would be best for their safety to stay away from such topics.

Content to observe the conversations, peacefully eating her pizza, Haley attempted to contribute to the discussion whenever she could. Which wasn’t often considering she knew nearly nothing about basketball. At least not enough to be on par with eight guys who played on a national championship squad. But when they moved on to girls well, that was another story.

“I don’t know, man. It started with an E...I think?”

Haley raised her eyebrows questioningly.

“Seems Chris can’t remember the name of the girl he hooked up with last night,” Nathan drawled. “See that’s the benefit of only being with one girl. I never have that problem.”

Rolling her eyes at him, she turned toward Chris, “What’d she look like?”

Thinking hard he answered ", Umm…blond, I think, pretty skinny...”

“Might it be Erica? Skinny, blond, cheerleader who laughs like this, Haley imitated Erica’s false, hollow laugh perfectly.”

“Yea! Erica! I think that’s it,” Chris replied excitedly. “Thanks.”

“Glad to help,” she answered with a small laugh. “Excuse me, gentlemen but I have to go to the bathroom.”

Once she was out of sight, the guys pounced on Nathan with eager questions. “What do you mean she’s your girlfriend? How’d you meet? How long has this been going on? What do you mean she’s your girlfriend?” They all volleyed him with their inquiries simultaneously.

“Whoa. One at a time. First off, she’s my girlfriend, means she’s my girlfriend. I know some of you aren’t the most intelligent, but I think even you can understand that concept. You know, we’re together. Her and I. I love her,” he explained slowly as if attempting to help a small child understand the meaning of life. “We actually met because of Erica. They live in the same suite, I was looking for Erica, and Haley was there. And it just went from there” Cutting off their knowing chuckles with an exasperated shake of his head, “No not like that morons. We’ve been together three months.”

“That’s the…”

“Entire basketball season,” he concluded. “I know.”

“So all this time you’ve been with her?” Eli questioned trying hard to comprehend.

“Yes.”

“Just her?”

“Yes,” Nathan answered forcefully

“Huh.” Eli sat back in his chair to ponder this.

“Oh, and in response to the last question,” Nathan fixed his gaze on Eli, Rob, Kevin, and Kyle who had been sitting across from them, “she’s my girlfriend means if you don’t quit trying to take a peek down her shirt, you’ll be in so much pain you won’t be able to play next season.” Nathan smiled viciously at them.

Returning from the bathroom, Haley halted momentarily before reaching the table to watch Nathan. Even in the bustling, noisy restaurant he remained the most magnetic presence in the room. It scared her sometimes the magnitude to which she felt drawn to him, the way her heart leapt into her throat at the sight of him. Sometimes it scared her even more to know that he felt the same way. Settling beside him, she melted to feel his hand automatically stray for hers. “What’d I miss?”

“Nothing. We were just setting the record straight about some things.”

Chapter Seventeen

I feel you - your heart it sings,

I feel you - the joy it brings.

Where heaven waits, those golden gates

And back again.

You take me to and lead me through oblivion

This is the morning of our love,

It's just the dawning of our love.

I feel you - your precious soul,

And I am whole.

I feel you - your rising sun,

My kingdom comes---Depeche Mode, “I Feel You”

      

       The next month passed rather uneventfully for Nathan and Haley. The usual mix of classes, parties, and clubs. Trying to explain to their friends that they were, in fact, dating. No, it was not a joke. Yes, they were serious. Haley had joked that she was going to get a t-shirt printed to clear up the confusion, reading “I, Haley James (yes, I’m in the band) am dating Nathan Scott (yes, that Nathan Scott).” And that he could get one of his own saying “Thought I didn’t date. Nope. I just don’t date you. Any of you. So stop pressing your boobs against me. Really. Back off before my girlfriend attempts to strangle you with your hair.”

       But eventually, albeit reluctantly, the campus seemed to have accepted the fact that Nathan Scott and Haley James were dating. Or the entire student body had managed to get themselves trapped in an episode of the Twilight Zone. In any case, the end of the semester had arrived, hand in hand with the warm, balmy spring weather. Haley was bustling around the room, packing for her return home. Nathan had started to pack but he had stopped almost half of an hour ago, to sit and gawk at Haley in amazement.

       “Nathan, you should really be packing. I have to have my RA check the room before I can leave. And I can’t leave if all your stuff is still in the room.”

       He continued to stare as she created box after box to pack in. Moving onto the one designated for her books, she neatly labeled the outside with a black Sharpie and then placed each book carefully inside. She had divided her clothes between shirts, pants and skirts, sweaters, and jackets, keeping them in the color order they had been hanging up in her immaculate closet. Her CDs went in alphabetical order of genre, alphabetical order of artist within the different genre, chronologically if she had more than one by the same artist. Same with her movies.

       Nathan’s packing strategy went a little like this: If it belonged to him, it went in a box.

       “I figured I’ll just wait until you’re done and then just gather up my stuff.”

       “But you’ll be so rushed. Don’t you want to have time to properly sort everything,” Haley asked confused.

       “I can do that later.”

       “Well, in any case, I made a packing checklist for myself. And I printed off a copy for you. I added your basketball stuff.”

       Nathan scrutinized her face, making sure she was being serious. Oh dear, she was. “A packing checklist?”

       “Yeah. So that way you know that you didn’t forget anything.”

       Nathan simply gave her a look of utter confusion.

       Haley thrust the paper into his hands, “See. I divided it up into categories. Basketball, Clothing, Educational, Entertainment, Miscellaneous, Toiletries. And you put a check next to every item when you’re done packing it.”

       “Haley, the only two people’s things that are in this room are yours and mine. So once you’re done packing everything, everything that’s left must be mine,” He explained carefully, stifling a laugh with immense difficulty.

       “Well, what if you left stuff in your room, Nathan. Let’s not forget that this room technically isn’t yours. Or you lent something to a friend. Or what if I accidentally pack something of yours. You wouldn’t realize it because you refused to use the checklist,” she argued, hands planted firmly on her hips.

       Nathan couldn’t hold back his laughter anymore, taking her adamant tone, the wisps of hair blowing around her face.

       “What’s so funny?” she demanded.

       “I worry about you sometimes Hales,” he dead-panned.

       “At least I’ll know where all my stuff is. And besides, our homes are twelve hours apart, so in the off-chance that we do accidentally pack each other's things it’s not going to be like we can just see each other the next day to return it.”

       “I actually wanted to talk to you about that,” he answered her seriously.

       “About what?”

       “About going home.”

       Haley narrowed her eyes, not understanding, her lips pursed, “What about going home?”

       “What if I came with you?”

       She dismissed him with a wave of her hand. “Oh, it’s OK. I’m not driving by myself. One of my friends lives on the way, so I’m just going to drop her off. I’ll only be driving by myself for about forty-five minutes.”

       “I didn’t mean the drive. I meant what if I stayed with you?” He suddenly felt nervous, regretful he had even asked. It was clear it hadn’t crossed her mind.

       “You don’t have to Nathan,” she protested, overwhelmed by his unexpected question. The knowledge that they would be apart for the greater part of three months had saddened her deeply but she had come to accept it grudgingly as a part of life she just had to deal with.

       “I know I don’t have to. I want to,” he insisted gently, brushing her wayward hair out of her face. “I don’t like the idea of you being alone for three months.”

       “I’ve done it before.”

       “I know. That doesn’t make it any better. OK, let me restate that. I don’t like the idea of being away from you for three months. I don’t like the idea of being away from you for a day.”

       Haley tried to search her brain for a reason Nathan’s idea wouldn’t work. No parents stopping her, his parents concerns wouldn’t have an effect. Oh wait. “Don’t you have to do stuff for basketball over the summer,” she asked resignedly, realizing that she had begun to really like the idea of Nathan and her spending the summer together in her hometown. Curled up on the worn, faded soda watching old movies, lying in the damp grass under the stars, attempting to cook breakfast in the morning with hilarious results.

       “Yea. I have to take some courses over the summer so I can maintain a light schedule during the season, and I have to make sure I’m working out and doing some drills.”

       She nodded silently, trying hard not to get too upset over the defeat of an idea that had only just been mentioned. ‘Well, I guess you can’t come home with me then.”

       Absent-mindedly, he ran a nervous hand through his hair. “Actually I can. I’m already registered for three classes at the local college in Hershey. And I got myself a gym membership. I talked to Coach and he said that as long as I was taking courses and staying on top of the team’s workout schedule it would be OK.”

       Now, it was her turn to stare at him in open-mouth shock. “You would’ve had to register for those courses a month ago.”

       “Yeah.”

       Laughing brightly, she tossed her hair aside to study him in wonderment. “You’re awfully sure of yourself, aren’t you?”

       He smirked at her cockily, “Well, it’s easy when you’re this good-looking.”

       Stepping out of his grasp slightly, she rolled her eyes in amusement, “Never mind the part about being that much of a dork,” she teased lightly.

       “Seriously though Hales. It’s up to you. If you don’t want me to come then I guess I understand.”

       “No, I want you to come. Trust me, I do.” Haley asserted strongly, laying a reassuring hand on his broad shoulder

       His face broke into a wide beam, “I guess it’s settled then.”

       She could do no more than smile back at him, their joy a perfect mirror, “I guess so. Wow, you and me this summer. How awesome is that going to be? No classes, no practice, no suite mates. Just you and me,” Haley pictured the coming months giddily.

       “It’s gonna be a hell of a summer. But if you already have plans, don’t let me interfere.”

       Haley exhaled forcefully with a mock-sigh of exasperation. “Weeelll, I was planning on going to see my other boyfriends. But I suppose I can rearrange those plans. If I must.”

       Pulling her back to him, Nathan raised his eyebrows at her questioningly, “Other boyfriends, huh? You better not have any other boyfriends Miss James,” he kidded.

       Stretching up on her tiptoes, she pecked him lightly on the cheek. “You’re definitely enough. More than enough.”

       “Ditto.”

       “But you and me this summer. Doesn’t that scare you a little bit?”

       “Why would it?”

       “Because we’ve only been together about four and a half months. And we’re already planning on living together. Some couples date for years before they get to that stage.”

       Settling himself carefully on the bed, between the box for her TV, and the box for her computer and printer, he chortled slightly. “I guess we’re just ahead of the curve then Hales considering for all intents and purposes we’ve been living together pretty much the entire time we’ve been together.”

       Posing dramatically, “Yeah, ‘cause you can’t get enough of my hot body.”

       His eyes roamed over her body before tilting his head to the side. “That’s true.  I may not be the smartest guy but I do recognize a good thing when I see it.” Pushing aside some of the boxes on the bed, he beckoned for Haley.

       Settling herself between his legs, she leaned her head back against his chest contentedly. “We’re a good thing.”

       “Yes, we are. Besides, by the looks of today’s packing adventures I’m going to be spending my life making sure you don’t organize yourself to death. I’ll need to get as early a start as possible.”

       As they sat there amidst a pile of boxes, Haley’s brain was churning in overdrive at Nathan’s last statement. Said so casually, so simply. But somehow she knew he hadn’t been joking when he had spoken of spending his life with her. That this summer could become years.

       “So you and me this summer, Hales.” He kissed the top of her head, resting his chin there briefly.

       “Sounds perfect.”

Chapter Eighteen

When you look into my eyes

And you see the crazy gypsy in my soul

It always comes as a surprise

When I feel my withered roots begin to grow

Well I never had a place that I could call my very own

That's all right, my love, 'cause you're my home---Billy Joel, “You’re My Home”

       Summers in Pennsylvania were notoriously hot and humid. Lately, the mosquitoes were unbearable. And paying for tuition required arduous hours waitressing, mostly on tourists down from New York and New Jersey come to spend their money at HersheyPark. This summer was no different for Haley James. Except, she had someone to share it with. Someone to sit with at night as she calculated the tips she had received from working the breakfast and lunch hours every day of the week, someone to sit with as she typed up her notes from her part-time internship at the law office downtown, someone to spray bug spray on all the hard to reach places before venturing out into the backyard to throw a Frisbee. In hindsight, this summer was very different.

       Haley was fond of saying that if she and Nathan were nothing more than two parts of the same person than she was definitely the organized side. Living together had definitely been an eye-opener, for both of them. It was certainly one thing to co-exist in one room for a semester, another matter entirely to be sharing an entire house. It would seem that sharing a small room would present more difficulties. The lack of space, the absence of a kitchen, and one bathroom shared with nine other people. But in some ways it had been easier. The house represented something larger. One would never imagine a life in a dorm room. It was just a resting place before you began your life. People lived their lives, raised their families in places like an old farmhouse in the countryside of central Pennsylvania. A house was inescapable, part of your soul. You couldn’t just request a new roommate in the spring.

       Nathan and Haley had argued considerably over the last two months. He was messy, she was neurotic. She liked skim milk, while he preferred whole. But life-changing disagreements over dairy products aside, it worked. There had been tense moments, but they both knew without a doubt that they never had to pretend or sugarcoat things. That the other would still be there at the end of the day.

       Their lives had settled easily into a comfortable routine. They would wake up at 5:30, shower and take turns making breakfast. To be more accurate, on her days Haley cooked. On his, Nathan poured cereal. He was an expert on cereal. Sometimes, they would watch the news, or eat quietly talking every so often to trade sections of the newspaper, or they would simply sit in silence enjoying each other’s company. And then the day would begin. Nathan off to run, lift weights, and work on his shooting until 8:30, and then to attend one of his classes until noon, meet Haley for lunch at the café while she took her break, and then he went back to the college for his other two courses, all of them in finance. Nathan liked the logic, the step-by-step nature of finance.  It was conducive to people who liked plans. People such as himself. Haley worked the breakfast and lunch shifts at Karen’s Café, ate lunch with Nathan and then drove downtown to her part-time internship at a law office. Both returned home after five. Their nights were treasured, anticipated. Some nights they would go out in a large group with Haley’s friends, or they would sit curled up on the couch, Nathan finishing up his work for his classes, while Haley paid bills, or completed applications for scholarships. The best nights were when they would go down to the basketball courts outside the local high school. Haley would set up a folding chair by the chain-link fence, reading, or listening to music, or just watching Nathan as he practiced, enjoying the warm weather and each other until it became too dark to see.

       “Yeah, your friends are great Haley. I’m just saying that it’d be nice to have someone to play with. I guess we’ll find out in a week if I’m ready to go for the season,” Nathan said as he sent another free throw through the hoop easily.

       “Let’s see. You play on a national championship team, you were named NCAA tournament MVP, won at least three player of the year awards, people are constantly trying to predict when you’ll enter the draft where it’s said to be highly likely that multiple teams will be fighting over you, and you wonder why a bunch of guys who at most played on a mediocre team in high school might be reluctant to put their basketball skills up against yours?” Haley questioned with raised eyebrows.

       Nathan threw up his hands in defeat. “Well, when you put it that way.”

       Haley placed her bookmark carefully, folded up the chair, and walked over to Nathan. “I’d offer to play with you, but I think that would probably hurt your game more than it would help it. You’ll be back with the team in a week.”

       “Yeah, and then we get to worry about furnishing the apartment,” Nathan answered as he jogged over to the corner to retrieve his shirt.

       The university had sent housing forms for the fall in early June to both Nathan and Haley. Haley because it was obviously her house and Nathan who had the foresight to get his mail forwarded there, thus ensuring minimal contact with his parents. The forms had been read over, the survey for roommate section analyzed. Looking at each other overwhelmed and rather uneager to make the decision, someone had joked that they should just get an apartment together. Neither one remembered who, but that Friday after they both returned home they loaded the car and headed to Winston. They had spent the entire day Saturday looking at apartments, arguing about apartments, becoming utterly despondent that they would find an affordable place to live near the campus that wasn’t falling into decay. They finally found it fifteen tries later, and were set to move in the first week of August, when Nathan had to be back with the team.

       “Ugh, don’t remind me. And I have a feeling I’ll need to be doing most of the decorating,” she joked as they walked back to the house.

       “Why? I’ll help,” Nathan protested.

       She turned to him, with a skeptical look, “Ok, if your bedroom at your parent’s house is any indication of your decorating skill think I’ll take a pass. I can do without large posters of basketball players all over my bedroom.”

       “Oh really? So you’re saying you don’t like pictures of basketball players?” he teased, tickling her sides.

       Haley squirmed out of his grasp, laughing. “No, but what would be the point of pinning up a large picture of a player over my bed when I have the real thing in it?”

       The rest of the walk continued like this, as it always did, talking and laughing. Until they reached her driveway, Nathan turning back to Haley for a response to his last question and noticed that she had stopped dead in her tracks, her face unreadable. Turning back around, he realized there was a large RV parked in the driveway, partially obscured by the shadows.

       “Oh god,” Haley whispered.

       “What?”

       “My parents.”

  After looking back and forth from each other to the ominous vehicle, Nathan resolutely grabbed Haley’s hand and pulled her towards the door. “This had to happen eventually Hales,” he reassured her as they came face-to-face with a couple sitting nonchalantly in the living room, who he could only assume were her parents. They glanced up from their books, acknowledging Haley’s presence with a look that seemed to Nathan as if the nurse had come to tell them the doctor was ready to see them, rather than gazing up a daughter they hadn’t seen in over a year. Their expression when their eyes settled upon Nathan was that of a bit more shock.

       “Hello, Haley. It’s nice to see you again.” her father stood up from the couch.

       Hugging him awkwardly then turning to her mother, Haley quickly returned to the safety of Nathan’s side. “It’s good to see you, too Mom and Dad. Mom, Dad, this is Nathan. Nathan, these are my parents.

       “It’s very nice to meet you.”

       “Hmm, Nathan,” Haley’s mother thought out loud. “I don’t remember you being one of Haley’s friends from high school.”

       'Like you’d remember my friends from high school. You weren’t there for most of it,' Haley thought angrily.

       Nathan, seeing the hard look on her face, pulled her to his side, and whispered, “Don’t worry. If they try anything, I’ll totally kick their asses.”

       Half-smiling at Nathan, she returned to her parents, who remained baffled, “Actually Nathan attends Wake Forest as well. That’s where we met. He plays on the basketball team there.”

       “Oh, so he’s visiting for the weekend?” Haley’s mother concluded with a smile.

       There was a pause, a few exchanged glances between Nathan and Haley, and finally Haley exhaled forcefully. “Actually, no. He’s living here.”

       “What do you mean he’s living here?” her father interjected.

       “Just that. He’s living here. We’re living together,” she explained wearily.

       Her mother was outraged. “And you thought that that was a good idea, young lady?”

       Haley’s face had turned into one of apprehension and panic, Nathan attempted to step in and smooth things over, “Mr. and Mrs. James, I certainly meant no disrespect. I just didn’t feel comfortable with Haley living by herself for three months.” With that, he looked pointedly at both of them.

       “I’m sure you didn’t Nathan, but it doesn’t change the situation,” her dad replied. Breaking his attention from Nathan, he turned back to Haley, “Your mother and I would like to have a word with you. Alone.”

       But Haley was done pretending, done making everything right for everybody else. “No, whatever you have to say to me you can say in front of him,” she stubbornly insisted.

       “Fine. I come home and find out you’re living with some boy I’ve never even met. I thought you had more sense than that Haley. I thought you were more responsible than that. What were you thinking bringing a boy into my house, Haley? Huh? Were you even thinking at all? Because I really doubt that you were. And I would like Nathan to leave.” her father lectured.

       Haley remained silent.

  “Sir, I really…”Nathan tried to cut in.

  “Excuse me, Nathan, but I’m talking to my daughter.”

  “It’s not your house.” The other three turned questioningly to Haley.

  “What?”

  “I said, it’s not your house,” she repeated to her mother and father.

  “It most certainly is our house,” her mother retorted.

  “No, you come here once a year at most, usually because it’s on the way to see one of your friends. Not because you want to visit your children. You don’t live here, I do. You just deposit money into my account every few months, but I’m the one that pays the bills, calls the exterminator, gets the piano tuned, mows the lawn, buys the groceries. This is my house and Nathan gets to stay,” she continued, her eyes blazing, her voice steady.

       Her father regarded the couple coldly, “I beg to differ with that Haley.”

       “It’s fine. We’re moving in a week to an apartment in Winston-Salem. I had planned on it being just during the school year, but I’m more than willing to make it full-time. I guess you’ll just have to find a new caretaker,” she answered calmly, rationally, almost emotionless. And with that she left the room, leaving her parents standing there stunned. Nathan gave her parents one last lingering look, “You’re both making a huge mistake.” And followed Haley to their bedroom.       

       Seething from her disastrous exchange with her parents, Nathan found Haley pacing the room furiously. Suddenly, she stopped to pick up one of his sneakers, breathing heavily she considered it. Then hurled it against the far wall with an anguished wail, “Asshole.”

       Nathan regarded her quietly as he sat on the bed, letting her work out her anger. “C’mere,” he beckoned to her gently.

       Silent tears were streaming down her face as she sat down beside him, “I’m sorry you had to see that Nathan.”

       He wrapped her in his arms, pulling her with him against the headboard. “Don’t apologize. It’s going to be okay, Haley I promise. I can go talk to your parents, make them understand. We’ll be out of here in a week. Everything’s going to work out, sweetheart,” he reassured her.

       “You know somehow I believe that. I’d be lost without you here. I love you for offering to talk to my parents but it wouldn’t change anything. Oh, and sorry about my little outburst about living at the apartment full-time.”

       “Hey, I just planned on being with you. I don’t care where it is.”

       Settling further back into his embrace, she sighed, “Same here. I guess I’m just attached to the house, that’s all.”

       “Tell you what. When I go pro, the first thing we’ll do is buy the house.”

       “What about a pony?” she asked, her mood lifting considerably.

       “What about a pony?”

       “You know, in stories a kid always wants a pony. And the parents can’t really afford it but they keep letting the kid hope that the pony might be coming.”

       “Ok, we’ll get a pony and then we’ll buy the house.”

       “I like this plan.”

       “And then since I bought you a pony, when you graduate from law school and start working you can buy me a motorcycle.”

       Giggling, Haley turned to face him, placing a hand on his chest. “How does that work? You’re going to be making millions but I get to buy you a motorcycle. I have a feeling motorcycles cost more than ponies.”

       “Fine then no pony for you,” he replied mock-serious.

       “No motorcycle for you,” she shot back.

       “But a house.” Nathan smiled at her, kissing her hard on the mouth.

       “Definitely a house.”

Chapters 19 - 25

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