Your Makeup Stains My Pillowcase
By Katie
Chapter Four
Blinking awake slowly, Haley allowed her eyes to adjust to the light in the room. The sun shined brightly through the open blinds and slanted over her face, making her groan loudly and bring her hands up to cover it.
Too early.
She reached her hand down in search of the covers but came up empty handed. Frowning, she moved her feet around, trying to feel about for the blankets but they were met with nothing but the bed. More frustrated now than before, she moved her hands from her face and peered down the bed.
Oh, good lord. She was naked.
It was no wonder why she was so cold. And tired--jeez--what time was it? She turned her head towards the direction of the clock and caught sight of the empty space that lay next to her. Staring at it, she was filled with a sinking and deflated feeling, making her squirm in discomfort.
She didn't know why it bothered her so much. It shouldn't. After all, staying the night wasn't really part of their agreement--if that's what you'd call it anyways. She wasn't even sure what it was that they had, other than a fully messed up relationship. Of course, that didn't seem to bother them most times, especially when they were half way to ripping each other's clothes off.
But some mornings when she would awake to a lonely and empty bed, those thoughts would creep into her mind and put a line between her brows and a slice into her heart. Because no matter how many times she said otherwise, their little arrangement was starting to take it's toll on her emotions and she began to worry if it was all even worth it.
They'd been in this kind of situation for weeks, unable to keep their hands off of each other and then giving in to their desires. They'd always ended up in bed and then afterwards he'd always leave. He would think that she was sleeping as she laid on her side with her back turned towards him, so he'd creep out of bed quietly and slip back into his clothes. Then he'd sneak out the front door, oblivious to the brown eyes that would follow his silhouette in the darkness of the room.
They hadn't had a real conversation in...she didn't really know how long. And she also didn't know why that bothered her as much as it did. It wasn't like a conversation would solve anything between them, hell they'd probably just end up fighting more and get themselves in deeper. But she missed talking to him, she missed telling someone about what she was feeling or thinking. And she was tired of wondering what he was thinking and feeling.
And she really didn't know what to expect from their secret affair. It wasn't as if anything was being worked out between them. They were just fulfilling their wants for each other, never thinking past the moment.
She hadn't told anyone about it either, not that she knew who'd she'd tell. Definitely not Lucas or Brooke, that was just a disaster waiting to happen. And Peyton...well she suspected that Peyton already had some kind of idea, especially since she was getting some way weird and judgmental looks from the blonde these days. She just didn't want to be the one to bring it up...especially in case Peyton had no idea.
And even if she was going to talk to someone about it, she didn't know what she'd say. Hell, she didn't even know what to tell herself most of the time. She loved Nathan, she needed to be close to him...but what was going on between them was killing her. And she didn't know how much more she could take.
~~Flashback~~
"Alright, you guys are totally hogging the popcorn, I'm going to make some more." Haley stuck her tongue out at the giggling Brooke and Lucas who sat huddled beside the couch with a bowl of popcorn stashed between them.
"Why don't you come over and join us, tutorstar, I'm sure all three of us can share." Brooke wiggled her eyebrows at Haley suggestively and sent the other girl into a fit of laughter.
"Oh no, Brooke, you know I'm not really into the menage a trois thing." She pushed herself from the couch opposite of them and sent a teasing look to Brooke.
"It'll be fun," the brunette taunted and got a snorting laugh out of Haley.
"I'm gonna throw up," Haley sing-songed back as she moved towards the Sawyer's kitchen.
Once in the kitchen she moved over to the cupboard and searched for where the popcorn was kept. Rummaging around, she barely heard him enter the room. Turning around abruptly, she found herself looking straight into the deep blue of his eyes. She swallowed hard.
"What are you doing?" she found herself asking, her voice coming out as a mere whisper.
He didn't respond, only moved in closer moving his hands to grip the counter top on either side of her, trapping her inside. His eyes bore directly into her, making her cheeks flush and her jittering palms sweat. He was making her nervous and he knew it.
His jaw was set, meaning only that he didn't want to play games this time around. And from the dangerous look in his eye, she didn't know if she wanted to either. His body pressed up against hers and she found herself sucking in a breath, shocks of heat bouncing through her body.
"Nathan," Haley hissed out, averting her eyes from his finally, unable to move herself from his grasp. She felt the warmth of his body relaying onto her and her heart sped up, the pounding of it echoing in her ears.
"Hey, Haley? Can you bring me out some coke while you're in there?"
Hearing Peyton's request from the living room, Haley's head snapped in that direction, her pulse sky rocketing. As she went to respond, she found her throat to be dry and her mind to be blank.
The gang had decided to hang out at Peyton's this afternoon, as it rained outside and drown the basketball courts. The few hours that had already been spent there had been careless fun, just a handful of teenagers laughing and joking around, watching movies and pigging out on popcorn and ice cream.
Haley had been reluctant to go, knowing that Nathan would most likely be there, but ultimately Lucas had convinced her, promising her that she didn't even have to speak to Nathan...but then again he didn't really know the whole story.
Hell, she didn't even know the whole story. She had no idea what this little game was that her and Nathan were playing. Yesterday after the basketball game had been just mindless and desperate sex, something that she had felt that she needed from him, at the least.
But she hadn't thoroughly thought out her idea when she'd told him to come over. Seeing him when she had opened the door seemed to knock the wind out of her, her mind spun with millions of thoughts and then...and then he made them all disappear when his mouth had descended on hers. They had spent hours in desperate and frenzied sex, not stopping even to rest. So when their final round was over and she had laid, spent, in the middle of the bed, she didn't even have the energy to question him as he threw his clothes back on and left without a word.
The tears had come then, as soon as she had heard the front door close. It was stupid for her to cry about this, especially when it could be so much worse...she could not have him at all. But the idea of him just using her for sex and then leaving without so much as a word afterwards sliced through her with a hurt she hadn't even imagined. But what choice did she have but to grab on to the only thing she had left with him?
Even now, as she stood before him, her eyes wide and searching his own, wishing that he'd just show her an ounce of what he was feeling right then, she knew that she needed him. She knew that she'd never deny him of this...not when she wanted it just as much for herself. And so what if it just continued to wind them up into an even bigger disaster? She was sick of feeling bad. She just wanted to feel him.
Her tongue darted out to lick at her dry lips, her mind buzzing and fully conscious that he was watching her every move. But she didn't care, she didn't want to think about how twisted things were right now. She wanted him. And she wanted him to want her back, because right now the only thing that was keeping her going was the knowledge that he still wanted her.
"I've been watching you." Her eyes flickered up and met his gaze. His voice was low and throaty, making her knees weak and shaky.
"I know," Haley breathed.
"And you know what I've been thinking about?" She managed to shake her head, watching the faint smile come across his lips. "I've been thinking about last night...about all of the things that I did to you." She sucked in an abrupt breath when she felt his hand clasp tightly onto the back of her neck. "All of the things you did to me." Moving his hand up slowly, he tangled his fingers into her hair. "We're good together, Haley."
She nodded at his words, her eyes growing heavy and drooping down slightly, peering at him through the low slits.
"And for some reason, some weird reason that I can't seem to shake..." He paused then, waiting for her eyes to open back up. When she stared up at him, the blue of his eyes lit dangerously. "I can't stop wanting you."
His lips came down hard on hers, just as she had expected them to. He hurled them into a rough and greedy kiss, both of them falling madly into it. Their lips fought with each other, pushing and pulling, biting and sucking. It was pure madness, what they seemed to do to each other.
And with her fingers gripping tightly onto his shirt and her tongue diving to meet his, he realized, as he had many times before, that he'd never stop wanting her like this. These feeling inside of him that she ignited, would never cease. And even as the pleasurable pain ached through him and had him panting hard for breath, he knew that he never wanted them too.
So with his hands still clamping on the back of her head, he brought her forwards, molding their mouths perfectly together, tasting what was once pure and innocent, and was now dark and seductive. Her body seemed to melt against his, pushing against it and making Nathan completely aware of just how right they seemed to fit together.
But he pushed those thoughts away from his mind, knowing that this wasn't about that anymore. This wasn't about the nice and slow love making that testified their love, this wasn't gentle or caring...it wasn't even loving. It was hard and greedy. It was needy and desperate. And no matter how many memories flashed into his head, he knew that, that part of their relationship was long over. Now it was just about the physical.
Wrenching his mouth away abruptly with a grunt, he took his hands out of her hair to grab her wrist, pulling her from the counter and out of the room.
Haley's head was still spinning as she allowed herself to be pulled from the room. Finally blinking away the haze from her mind, she realized what was going on and hesitated, stopping them from proceeding any further in the hallway.
He turned then, to see what the hold up was. His eyes, deep and wild, focused on her and sent shivers down her spine. His hard and cool gaze had her swallowing hard and when he turned to keep walking, she again let him pull her forward.
He led them to the bathroom and when she stepped inside he turned to close the door, the click of the lock echoing loudly in her ears. She felt her breathing speed up again, her heart pounding furiously in her chest. She didn't dare to look him in the eye, knowing that everything she feared lay there.
He held her arms as he pressed her up against the wall, bringing his mouth down onto her neck. She let out a strangled cry, feeling his teeth on the skin and lifted a weak hand to his back, again gripping at the material of his shirt. Her chest heaved as he devoured her neck, not bothering to be gentle or easy. Instead he was reckless and thoughtless, bound to leave marks.
She felt tears come to her eyes, but not from the pain. Feeling foolish she squeezed her eyes closed tightly, her nails digging into his back. It was silly to be feeling like this, she told herself. Stupid, really. But she thought of stoic demeanor and his cold, icy eyes and choked back a sob.
Her single tear went unnoticed by both of them when he found the button of her jeans and sent them both into oblivion.
~~End Flashback~~
Whoa! Was it hot in there or was it just her? Even if their actions were eating away at her heart, she couldn't deny that the sex was amazing...even when it was pressed up against the bathroom wall.
She thought that maybe that was why she never said no to him when he'd show up at night and expect a roll in the sheets with her. Their sexual attraction was out of the roof and it always seemed that when she was around him she felt an itch that needed to be scratched. And it also seemed like no matter how much it ached her that they couldn't communicate like normal people, she wouldn't give their arrangement up if it meant that they would be on bad terms again, because those first few weeks of summer had killed her more than this. And she couldn't be lonely anymore.
So she decided that she'd stick to it, see what happens...even if nothing did. Nathan was something that she needed in her life. Just thinking about a life without him depressed her more than anything. So she figured that sex with him was better than nothing...oh hell, sex with Nathan was better than most things. But you got the general idea.
Pushing herself up onto her elbows, Haley caught a glimpse of the sheets that she had been looking for earlier lying beside the bed and spitefully rolled her eyes. Then she slipped completely off of the bed and padded into the bathroom, turning on the shower and stepping immediately into the cold water.
After the shower she felt surprisingly refreshed and lazily got dressed before going into the kitchen and popping some bread into the toaster. Just as she was taking it out again, a knock on the front door sounded, causing her to stop her ministrations. Turning around, she blew out a breath and started towards the door, muttering to herself when she heard the knocking again.
"Hold on," she grit out and reached for the knob.
Pulling it open she was met with one smile and one frown, neither looking too appealing to her right then. But she pushed on her own smile anyways and stepped back to let them in.
"Hey, what's up?" Haley casually greeted, closing the door behind them when they stepped in.
"So, we've been thinking a lot about you lately--"
"Oh now Brooke, I may be separated but I'm still into guys," Haley pointed out teasingly, watching the brunette snicker and the blonde beside her roll her eyes.
"Oh, see Peyton? She's not a pod. She's even making bad jokes before noon. Here's the Haley we all know and love." Taking Haley by the arm affectionately, Brooke led them over to the couch and plopped down, pulling her friend with her and turning so that their gazes locked. "Now, seeing as you've practically locked yourself up in this tiny apartment and have barely come out, we've decided to come to you."
"How thoughtful," Haley murmured and caught a side look from Peyton.
"We've been thinking and have decided to have a slumber party! Isn't that great!" Brooke clapped her hands excitedly at her own declaration and watched as Haley's eyes turned blank.
"Actually, Brooke decided that we should have a slumber party," Peyton quickly put in. "I just agreed." When Haley turned her head to look at Peyton she caught the look in the blonde's eyes and quickly turned away.
With her gaze back on Brooke, Haley pushed a smile onto her face. "Actually, I don't know if that's such a good idea. Maybe we could just hang out or go to the mall, a sleep over is too much trouble--"
"Nonsense Haley. We know that you're sad about everything that's going on, we're here for you. That's why we want to have an all girl's night, to put you at ease," Brooke promised her, reaching across to pat Haley's hands.
Haley managed to force her smile on. She didn't have a problem with a sleep over with Brooke and Peyton, in fact she thought it might even be fun. The problem was that up until now her night wasn't going to be all-girls. And if she didn't wrangle away from these two in order to let Nathan know, she'd have quite a problem on her hands.
"Sound's great, Brooke." Haley nodded and grinned, making sure to show her pearly whites to Peyton, who stood with her arms crossed over her chest suspiciously.
It was going to be a long day.
~*~
Fortunately, Brooke and Peyton had decided that they'd spend the remainder of the day at the mall with Haley. So they'd dragged her from store to store, forcing her to buy frivolous things and try on gaudy make-up. They'd had fun trying on lingerie and the two girls had even talked Haley into buying some...not that she'd have anyone to wear it for. Or so they thought.
Unfortunately, since they had shown up that morning, neither girl had let her alone for minutes at a time, leaving her no chance to call Nathan. They'd made it back to the apartment after they'd stopped for take-out and throughout the meal Haley kept darting her eyes from the clock to the door and back again...none of this going unnoticed by her friends, or at least Peyton.
The blonde had been eying her all day and watching each move she made intently. She knew that Haley was up to something, she just didn't know what. The girl had been a homebody ever since that day at her house and no one had seen her much. Or at least no one who was admitting to it. Peyton had a growing suspicion that something was going on between Nathan and Haley. Now normally that would be good, the two seriously needed to recognize their undeniable feelings for each other and come to a resolution. But this time Peyton thought that maybe it wasn't quite as warm and fuzzy as it should be. And tonight, she was about to find out.
"Now trust me, Haley," Brooke went on, a questionable green substance on the tips of her fingers. "This stuff will do wonders for your skin."
Haley's face scrunched up as she eyed the gooey gunk. "I don't know..."
"Come on, I use it all the time...and look at me." She grinned for the affect.
"I think that's what she's afraid of," Peyton broke in, looking up from where she was painting her nails.
Brooke sent her friend a withering look. "You just keep painting your nails black and keep your comments to yourself, gothica."
Peyton smirked and held up the bottle of polish. "It's dark purple," she corrected pointedly and watched as Brooke rolled her eyes.
"Whatever. It's weird." The brunette turned back to Haley and wiggled her eyebrows. "Now don't move..."
And the green goop was smudged onto her face. Haley gave into the urge to giggle.
~*~
"Nathan?"
He looked up at the voice from where he stood by the door, his foot elevated so that he could tie his shoe. "Yeah?" he murmured absently, hastily tying the laces and throwing the bottom of his jeans over the shoe as he switched feet.
"Where are you going?"
He stopped tying now and glanced back up at his mother, blinking at the question and inwardly groaning at it. "Out," he answered after a moment and turned his attention back to his shoe lace.
"Where out, honey?" Deb asked him again and this time Nathan did groan.
"Just out, mom," he told her shortly and dropped his foot, standing upright and getting ready to finally leave.
"Nathan, you go out every night and stay out until late. Now you know that I don't want to get strict with you or set a curfew but...I worry about you, sweetie."
Nathan fought the urge to roll his eyes at his mother's confession. He really wished that she would just drop it, considering that he wasn't going to tell her where he was going no matter how much she asked him. And she probably knew that, which was why she was trying to guilt him into telling her.
Besides, he really couldn't handle anymore stalling. He'd spent the whole day thinking about getting over to Haley's. God, he'd thought about her all day. He wanted her now like she was an addiction. And knowing that she'd be there waiting for him made him just as eager to get out of there.
"I know, mom," Nathan grit out, sending his mother an assuring smile. "But I'm fine. Really, just trust me."
"I do, Nate. You know that I do." Deb smiled back, reaching out to rub Nathan on the arm comfortingly. "But where could you possibly go night after night?"
To my wife. He nearly said it. The thought was right at the tip of his mind. Too close. He needed to get out of there. He needed to loose himself in Haley and forget about everything that he been eating at him throughout the day.
He found himself questioning things that he shouldn't. He now wondered whether or not this thing with Haley was right or if...or if it was just a poor substitute for the real thing. But he knew it was foolish to question their situation. He was happy...or at least he was pretending to be. He knew that it shouldn't be right to see her night after night like this. He knew that it wasn't fair to her. But...God, how he needed her.. He always needed her. And if he could go to her every night and she could make him forget about all of the troubles in his mind then why shouldn't he take what she was giving him?
And so what if it hurt him every night when he'd roll over and watch her peacefully sleeping, knowing that things weren't the same anymore. And so what that it hurt to get up from lying beside her and sneak out the front door. It didn't matter if it hurt, he wasn't supposed to feel. Their arrangement was emotionless. Just a physical affair. And he'd make himself be happy with that.
"Just out," Nathan told her again harshly and swung open the door, the slam behind him making Deb shudder.
~*~
As the night went on it was filled with lots and lots of giggling. The girls ate cartons of ice cream and told the dirtiest of gossip, screeching and laughing uncontrollably. Haley had almost forgotten what it was like to just let loose and have fun. She'd missed the company of girls on the tour...she'd missed Brooke and Peyton.
So she'd pushed all cluttering thoughts from her mind and focused on the time at hand. They had manicured, pedicured and completely made each other over when there was a knock at the door.
At the sound Haley's head shot up from where she was reading a magazine quiz to her friends and her eyes widened as she stared at the door. Her heart raced as she inwardly cursed herself.
Throughout the night she had been having so much fun that she had completely forgotten about calling Nathan and telling him not to come over. And now he was there!
She racked her brain frantically for something to avoid a four-way confrontation but came up empty. She couldn't tell her friends not to look while she opened the door...and she couldn't pretend like she didn't know why Nathan was there. Hell, she couldn't even just open the door and make and excuse because Nathan would probably just greet her the same was he greeted her every night...by slamming her up against the counter and leaving her breathless. And that would just not do.
Oh, and she also couldn't pretend that she didn't hear the knock because her two friends were staring expectantly at her.
"Um, you want me to get that?" Peyton offered and Haley's eyes grew even wider.
"No! I mean, no that's okay." She let out an easy and nervous laugh. "I'll get it."
Pushing herself up she walked slowly to the door and hesitated in front of it. Turning her head cautiously, she found Brooke and Peyton sitting on the floor with their eyes glued to her. Great. Turning back to the door she took a deep breath and reached for the knob.
Twisting it quickly she swung open the door and pushed the visitor out of the doorway and sent them into the railing behind them. Following them hastily, she slammed the door shut behind her and spun to see who was at the door.
And of course, she was right.
"Hey...Nathan," Haley managed and let out a nervous laugh.
He sent her an 'are-you-insane' look as he steadied himself on the wood of the railing. Then, narrowing his eyes, he gestured for her to explain why she had just violently pushed him away from the door and nearly had him flying over the side. When she remained silent he merely grunted. "What the hell was that?" he demanded and watched her sheepish smile.
"I was going to call you," she started and watched his eyes narrow further. "But I was otherwise occupied..."
"Haley." He crossed his arms.
"Brooke and Peyton are sleeping over."
"What?" he sputtered out and she inwardly rolled her eyes at his tone, knowing that he was just upset that he wouldn't be getting any tonight.
"Yeah, it wasn't my idea they just...they don't think I'm getting out enough."
"So? Why is that their problem?"
She eyed him and crossed her own arms. "Because their my friends. Because they actually care about me. And because for some strange and obscene reason they think that I'm pathetic enough to still be moping over you!" Blowing out a breath of frustration, Haley shook her head. "But I've assured them not to worry about that." Turning on her heel she moved back towards the door. "Sorry I won't be there to fill your needs tonight, Nathan."
And then she slammed the door behind her, groaning even louder when she heard his muffled 'unbelievable'.
Still miffed from their very brief and very frustrating conversation, Haley let out a stream of curses, oblivious to the fact that her friends were still sitting in their same spots gawking at her. Finally turning towards them, she took one look at their faces and immediately closed her mouth.
"What was that about?" Brooke demanded, puzzlement lining her forehead.
"What?" Haley squeaked, inwardly recalling all that had just gone on.
"Who was that?" Peyton queried and Haley sunk back down to the floor, suddenly becoming fascinated with her fingers that twisted and clenched in her lap.
"That, you know--that was someone--who was selling...something," Haley choked out, immediately cursing herself as soon as the words left her mouth. Swallowing hard when she heard Peyton snort out a disbelieving laugh.
"Huh?" Brooke voiced. The other girls could practically see the confusion spinning in her head. "That was Nathan," she stated dumbly.
Haley blinked as she registered Brooke's words and both of her friends faces. Okay, so obvious the salesman approach was wrong. She let out a nervous laugh. "I know that."
"Then why did you..." the brunette trailed off.
"That was a...that was a joke," Haley assured them both, adding in a laugh for the affect. "No, I know that it was Nathan."
Peyton sent her a look when she didn't elaborate and gestured for her to go on. Haley kept her mouth shut. "Um, what did he want?"
"Um, what?" Haley uttered and saw the dumbfounded look on the blonde's face. "Oh, what did he want. Right. He um--he, you know, stops by...sometimes."
"Nathan does?" Brooke wondered, growing more and more confused by the moment. "Why?"
"Uh, I don't know." Haley forced out a weak laugh to match her shrug and looked back down at her fingers. "You know Nathan, he was just...stopping by."
"Right..." Peyton angled her head and stared at Haley, her eyes challenging. "And what did Nathan say to you?"
"He said...that it was nice that you guys came over to keep me company," Haley covered up lamely, watching the doubt in her friend's eyes.
Brooke, however, who was completely oblivious to the whole situation nodded her head and smiled brightly at Haley, finally figuring it out. "Oh, well that was nice of him. Does that mean that you guys are like--"
"No."
Peyton raised a brow at Haley's quick response. "Really? You guys aren't...anything? No improvements?"
"No." Haley met Peyton's hard stare with her own warning one and Peyton just shook her head, making it clear that she could drop the subject for now but it wasn't the end of it.
"Aw, that sucks," Brooke stated and Haley turned her attention towards her, giving her a shrug and allowing Brooke to put a comforting arm around her shoulder. "Well that's it, no more talk of that. I think it's time for a movie and some popcorn."
~*~
"Okay." Brooke handed the newly made popcorn over to Haley and settled onto the floor in front of Haley's small library of movies. Scanning them quickly with her eyes, she cleared her throat and stretched her fingers, ready to do some selecting. "Now, I hope you have some good picks here, girlie. I'm in the mood for a good old chick flick."
Haley absently gazed up from where she was adjusting her pillows and blanket in front of the tv. "Oh, um I don't know what I have. I haven't really watched anything in a while."
"I'm sure we can find something." Brooke leaned in and started to read the titles, mumbling them softy aloud to herself. She stopped at one and frown as she picked it up from it's place. "Now why anyone would own Spice World is beyond me, but if that's what you like Hales..." she murmured, snickering.
Haley rolled her eyes and shot a glare towards Peyton who was crackling with laughter from her spot on the couch. "It was Taylor's," Haley insisted, ignoring her friend's snickers.
"If that's your story," Brooke muttered and went on searching. "Wow, you have a lot of sports films."
"Yeah." Haley turned and looked at her friend now, a frown coming between her brows and she plopped down sadly onto her pillow. "Those are Nathan's. After I moved back in he gave me the boxes where he shoved all of my crap, and apparently he didn't want any of the movies."
"His loss," Peyton decided and Haley nodded slowly.
"Yeah," she breathed.
"Oooh, what's this?" Brooke wondered, pulling out an uncovered tape and showing it to Haley.
Haley glanced at it and gave Brooke an easy shrug.
"Hmm." Brooke examined the tape and turned it to where there was a piece of tape with writing stuck to it. "It just says 'home video'. I wonder what it is."
As Brooke was talking, the words registered in Haley's mind and her eyes suddenly went wide, her legs scrambling to get herself upright.
"Let's watch it and find out," the brunette decided and Haley rushed towards her.
"No!" she nearly shrieked and went to snatch the tape from her friend's hand, but Brooke was quick and moved it from her grasp.
"What?"
"No," Haley repeated, calmer this time. "Let's not watch it."
Brooke's lips curved now, very slowly as her fingers tapped the plastic of the tape. "No? Why not?"
"Because...because no--let's just not."
"Something your hiding here, Tutor girl?" Brooke guessed and her devious eyes glanced up and met Peyton's mirroring ones.
"Uh--I--no. No, of course not. I just...don't want to watch it, that's all," Haley stuttered. She could feel the heat in her face and neck, knowing that her cheeks were probably bright red and she willed herself to remain calm. Taking a deep breath she glanced at the tape, now desperate to get it away from her friend.
"Hmm." Brooke wiggled her eyebrows at Peyton and clucked her tongue. "Sounds to me like someone has something on this tape that she doesn't want the rest of us to see, huh Peyt?"
"I think so, Brooke," Peyton agreed, getting a pleading glare from Haley.
"Come on, Brooke," Haley tried again, her voice shaky. "Give it to me."
"What's on it?"
"Give it to me."
"Not until you tell us what's on the tape," Brooke sing-songed and moved to put the video into the VCR.
"No!" Haley yelped and had Brooke halting her movements. "Don't do that!"
Glancing up at her blonder friend, the brunette smirked and wiggled the tape in the air. "Fine," she gave in. "You tell us what's on it and we won't put it in...unless of course you tell us and it's so good that we have to play it." She looked back at Peyton for confirmation and the blonde nodded her head. "Haley?"
Staring furiously at both of her friends she let out a long sigh and slid back down onto her pillow. "Not a word about this to anyone," she hissed out as a warning and waited until her friends both nodded.
~~Flashback~~
Nathan's eyes narrowed as he studied the camera before him. He'd never been very good with electronics but he had thought that this would be easy enough to figure out. It was just a video camera, nothing too complicated but he now discovered that there was more to it than just hitting 'record'. Still frowning, he finally managed to get the video tape in and closed the compartment.
Breathing a sigh of relief, Nathan angled the camera towards the bed and pressed the bright red button that was instructed to record. Seeing the small red light, he inwardly patted himself on the back and moved to take a spot on the bed.
"Okay," he murmured to himself and forced a smile for the camera. "I'm Nathan Scott and for my English project I'm going to--"
"Nathan!"
He was cut off by the voice in the kitchen and rolled his eyes. "I'm doing something!" he called back and turned his attention back towards the camera. "Hi," he started again. "I'm Nathan Scott and for--"
"Nathan!"
The voice sounded again and he groaned loudly. "I said I'm doing something!" He swiveled back to the lens and had barely opened his mouth when the voice came through again.
"Nate!" He grunted as he leaned back on the bed, rolling his eyes again and rubbing his hand over his face. "Baby, you told me that you'd help with the groceries!"
"Good lord, woman," he muttered and pushed himself up from his position on the bed.
Then, grumbling to himself, he stalked out of the room and into the kitchen, greeted by stacks of grocery bags and a cheerfully smiling face.
"You want to do those bags over there?" she asked him, turning to her own bag and emptying it's contents. "That stuff needs to be put in the freezer, so do them first." She indicated to the brown bags on the counter and swung open the fridge, placing various grocery items into it.
Nathan just stared at her, his irritation growing and he made no move towards the bags. "Haley," he bit out, reaching a hand up to run through his hair.
She closed the door of the refrigerator and faced him, her lips still curved. "Hmm?"
"I was in the middle of something."
She blinked as a response but her smile never faltered. "Oh." Pausing for a moment she thought over his words and could only shrug. "Sorry."
He opened his mouth to respond but closed it as he realized that it probably wouldn't matter because she wasn't even listening. Letting out a low groan he watched her move about the kitchen, oblivious to his frustration. "Haley," he repeated, the word coming out as a grunt. "I was doing my English interview."
She continued to put the groceries away, seeming as if she wasn't even listening to him. And just before he could say something else she turned from her place by the cabinet and smiled brightly at him. "That's great, baby." Going back to her task at hand, Haley shuffled through one of the bags, a frown coming to her brows when she couldn't find a desired item. "Oh shoot, I think I forgot to get some whipped cream."
Nathan's frown immediately loosened at her words and he raised a brow in interest. "Whipped cream?" he repeated and Haley turned to look at him.
She caught the look in his eyes and had to roll her own, knowing that, that would be the first thing on his mind. "Not for that, I assure you."
He smirked now, millions of scenarios running through his mind now and all of the earlier irritation gone. "Oh, no?" Moving towards her, he slipped his hands around her waist and leaned down to brush his lips against her ear. "Well, that's okay. It's just as good without the whipped cream."
She laughed now, feeling his body pressed up against her back but went about her ministrations putting the groceries away. "I swear, we use whipped cream one time and now you think of sex every time it's mentioned."
"Yeah well, left a big impression." She felt his lips curve against her ear and went to elbow him away.
"Nathan," Haley warned, unsuccessful in her attempts to brush him off. "I'm trying to do this."
"Mm," he murmured, his teeth sinking into her ear lobe. "But I think you need a break."
"I thought you were going to help me, not distract me." She sighed within his grasp, biting back a moan when she felt his lips below her ear.
"I changed my mind." He dipped his hands lower, her hiss of breath encouraging him on and he toyed with the waistband of her sweat pants.
She felt her pulse quicken but tried to stay focused, knowing that if she abandoned the groceries now then they wouldn't get put away for hours. She continued to shove food into the cabinet, her pace speeding up, feeling him grow impatient.
His hand slipped beneath the barrier, meeting with her lacy panties and she sucked in a breath. His hand went lower, rubbing and she couldn't stop the moan that escaped from her lips. She heard his breathy laugh in her ear. "Hales."
"Hmm." Her sigh was absent and she found herself nearly panting, completely aware of just how close Nathan was on her and just how good his hand felt. "I...I need to do this, Nathan," she told him, her plea weaker than she wanted it to sound.
"It'll still be here later," he promised.
"You..." she breathed out, her mind starting to blur. "You're over-sexed. I hope you know that."
"Can you really blame me, babe?"
Her laugh came out as a whisper, her eyes beginning to cloud over. "I shouldn't..."
"But you want to," he taunted, her head nodding at his words, his lips moving over her neck.
"Yeah," she sighed and her fingers fell limp on the box of rice that she was holding. Finally dropping it all together, she turned and pressed her lips to his. He smiled against them and pushed back. Pulling back she reached up and took his face in her hands. "I think I spoil you some times," Haley murmured against his lips and smiled as she heard his chuckle.
"I think you're right," he agreed, his lips coming back to her for only a moment.
"It's mutual," she assured him.
Taking his hands, she twisted from his grasp and pulled him along, giggling as they reached the bedroom. Once inside the room, she turned and feverishly pushed her lips against his, her hands attacking his belt and fumbling to get it off. He had to chuckle at her hurried attempts but the sound was cut off by his abrupt moan, feeling her hands against him when she managed to get his pants down.
"Christ woman," he muttered, feeling her hands tugging impatiently on his shirt. "Slow down."
She laughed and shook her head, proceeding to back him up towards the bed. The back of his knees hit the bottom and she pushed him down onto it, towering above him. His eyes were immediately glued to her, wide and intently staring. God he loved it when she got all pushing and demanding. It was pretty damn hot.
Her eyes twinkled down on him, the riled-up-turned-on feeling that was shooting through her apparent in them. She reached down and pulled off her shirt, reveling in the way his eyes seemed to soak up every inch of her. Next went her pants, pooling at her feet for a moment before she kicked them off.
Then she was on top of him, her mouth fused to his and her hands fisted in his hair. He gaped for breath and her tongue thrust through his open lips. Her body pressed down against his, her legs on either side of his thighs, squeezing and moving against them. She swallowed his moan, her fingers tightening in his hair.
She sat up and gazed down at him, her eyes dark and glazed. And she laughed. "Take off your shirt." Her voice was easy but the demand was clear.
Blinking, caught up in his desires, he could only nod and reached for the hem of his tee-shirt. Next, pulling it free from his body, he gazed up and surveyed what was left of her clothes. Smirking now, he reached up and slid his hands up her torso, coming to a halt when he reached the lacy, pink bra. "Take off your bra," he said in the same tone as she had.
Her smile came quick, challenging him. But she reached back and flicked the clasp open. Then she slid it down her arms. Slowly. Very slowly. And she watched his eyes heat. It fell onto his chest and she eyed him as he threw it off the bed.
Their eyes locked and held for mindless seconds.
"That's it. No more playing games." Then he simply gripped her hips and spun them until she was squealing and giggling beneath him. His mouth plunged onto hers and her giggles and squeals were soon replaced by pleas and moans.
~*~
"God, you're loud."
Haley turned her head from it's place on the pillow and stared at Nathan. "I'm not loud!" she immediately defended.
He snorted a laugh at her answer. "Babe, the neighbors could probably hear you."
"Nathan!" Flustered by the idea, she pushed herself up on her elbow and gazed down at him. "What a...strange thing to say." She giggled and dropped her hand onto his naked chest, her finger making circles on the bare skin. "But I'm not loud. Well." She considered. "Not that loud."
He smirked in agreement and caught her hand in his, bringing it up to his lips. "It's alright. I like it when you're loud." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Especially when you're moaning my name."
She opened her mouth in a gasp but the shock could barely stand as she broke out into a fit of laughter, and she could only roll her eyes. "I do, do that, don't I?"
"Mmmhmm."
"MmmHmm," Haley mocked him and dropped her elbow to lay her head against his chest, another giggle escaping her mouth.
"What is with you today, your giggling like a maniac."
She laughed. And then she laughed again. "That was fun," she told him breathlessly, rolling on top of him. "Let's do it again." And then her lips were pressed to his.
The two kissed and rolled. And rolled and kissed. Completely caught up in each other as they hungrily attacked one another. Lost in Haley, Nathan moaned as her lips traveled the length of his chest. As they moved greedily down his eyes shot open and for the first time his eyes caught some thing that he had to blink twice to focus on.
Realizing what the object was, he shot up from his position beneath her. "Shit," he cursed.
Haley, who had been abruptly thrown off when he'd sat up, looked wide-eyed at him as she scooted back over to him from her place on the bed. "What? What's wrong?" she asked him, alarmed.
He managed an ironic laugh and dropped back down onto the pillows. "Jesus."
"What?" Haley demanded again, searching his face.
"Babe..." he trailed off, not quite sure how to phrase it. "I..."
"What Nathan?"
"I just video taped our sex," Nathan told her and watched as his wife blinked back at him, perplexed.
"Huh?"
He pointed to the video camera that was still set up and rolling and her head slowly turned to follow his finger. She spotted the camera and her mouth dropped open, her eyes glued to the small, glowing, red light.
"How..."
"That would be my English interview, Hales," He told her. "I had just started when you called me into the kitchen and then...well I guess it's safe to say that I got a bit distracted and forgot about the project."
"Oh, gosh I..." Flustered she brought her hands up to her face and sunk down onto the pillows. "Oh, god," she mumbled into her hands.
He continued to lay there, staring at the camera, not knowing what to say.
"Well shut it off!" Haley finally blew out, seeing his motionless stance.
He jumped at her voice and scrambled towards the camera. "Right," he agreed and fiddled until the red light blinked off.
Then he moved back over towards the bed and laid down next to her, pulling her into his arms and sighing. "Whoops." He felt her frown again his chest. "I'm sorry, babe. I swear I didn't know that it was recording."
The room fell into silence, neither knowing what to say. He was worried that he had upset her, he knew how she felt about things like that and he would never intentionally do something like that to her. He really should have remembered to shut it off. Hell, he shouldn't have even been filming it in their bedroom.
He moved his hand over her hair, ready to apologize again when he heard her voice.
"Want to watch it?" she asked him, her voice quiet and slightly timid.
His eyes bulged as her words registered in his mind. "What?" he choked out.
She moved her head out from his chest and stared up at him, her bottom lip being nibbled on by her teeth. "You want to watch it?"
"Do you?" he sputtered out.
She eyed him quietly for a moment before nodding.
He hurriedly picked up jaw up from the floor and nearly jumped off of the bed. "Then what are you waiting for woman? Let's go!"
~~End Flashback~~
"It's a sex tape?" Brooke asked in astonishment and all Haley could do was nod meekly. The brunette burst out an astonished laugh and brought a hand up to her lips. "You and Nathan made a sex tape?"
"It's not like it was on purpose," Haley hissed.
"Oh, God. Oh, God," she repeated. "Peyton, I'm so glad we came, this is just the greatest thing ever."
Peyton's laughter mingled with Brooke's and Haley glared at the two of them. "I'm going to have to agree with you on this one, Brooke."
"Would you two shut up?" Haley demanded of them, only making them erupt in more laughter.
Suddenly Brooke stopped laughing and gasped. "We have to watch it!"
"No!" Haley squealed and this time when she reached out for the tape she successfully snatched it from Brooke's fingers.
"Why not?" Peyton spoke now, still laughing like a hyena. "You embarrassed that we'll know your 'moves' now?"
Haley choked on the air that she breathed in.
"Come on, Haley. You can watch too, we know you want to," Brooke taunted and Haley blew out a breath of disgust.
"You guys are obnoxious." She reached out and snatched a random movie from the shelves. "Just shut up and put this in." Handing the movie to Brooke, she moved back and situated herself against her pillows, holding the tape close to her.
Brooke and Peyton still cackled with laughter as Brooke put in the new movie. As the film began to start and everyone was in their rightful positions, the laughter died down and Haley finally relaxed.
"So," Brooke started, breaking their newfound silence. "Do you like, watch it all the time?"
"Brooke!"
~*~
Haley blinked into the darkness of the room and stared aimlessly at the shadows that played on the walls. She felt herself sigh into the serenity, absently listening to the shallow snores of Brooke who was lying beside her.
They had finally crashed for the night, after watching a series of tear-jerking love stories and talking for hours, the girls had completely zonked out. But as Haley laid there in the dark, her mind going a million miles an hour, she couldn't seem to lull herself to sleep.
"You're going to get hurt."
The low voice that broke through the quiet had Haley letting out a strangled gasp. She let out breath and turned her head immediately towards Peyton. "What?" she breathed.
Peyton's eyes met her own, the contours of her face just outlines in the dark of the room. "This thing you have with Nathan. It's just going to end up hurting you."
Haley sucked in a breath at her statement, unsure of what to say next. She opened her mouth to search for words but she didn't know what the right response was. "What...what are you talking about?"
Peyton's laugh was dry and raucous in the shadowed silence, Haley shuddered. "Maybe you can get it by Brooke, but other than that you suck at it. It's been written all over your face all night. Well, actually all month, probably longer, I just wasn't sure until tonight."
"I don't..."
"But you do, Haley." Peyton sighed. "And you know exactly what I'm talking about, that's why your worried."
"I'm not worried," Haley immediately defended. "I'm just...it's just complicated, okay? You don't know everything."
"I've seen enough to know that it's hurting you."
Haley shook her head, not caring that Peyton probably couldn't see her movement. "I'm fine. And it's all I have with him Peyton, it's better than..."
"Better than what? Working things out so that you can have a real relationship?" the blonde challenged.
"We have a real relationship," Haley argued, despite the fact that she felt she was defending a useless cause. "We're married!"
Peyton let out an ironic laugh. "What you two have is definitely not a marriage. And it's about time that one of you takes a stand because if you keep up like this it will undoubtedly just blow up in your face and you'll be more heartbroken than you were to begin with."
"You don't know anything, Peyton," Haley hissed, wishing that the blonde would just stop. The sheer truth of her words were jabbing at Haley.
"Fine," Peyton blew out, giving up at her attempts to knock some sense into the other girl. "But one more question. Is it even worth it?"
Haley felt a tear run down her cheek and wiped it furiously away, feeling ridiculous. "Yes," she whispered. Then she turned to the side and squeezed her eyes shut tightly, hoping that sleep would come soon.
~*~
The next morning the two other girls left Haley's early. After waking up and snacking on marshmallows and left over popcorn, they helped Haley clean up their mess and then gathered their stuff to leave. Walking out the door, the two sang their praises of the fun-filled night and made Haley promise to do it again sometime soon. Then they left, Brooke with a smile and a wave and Peyton with a knowing look and concerned eyes. Haley closed the door.
Throughout the morning neither Peyton nor Haley had brought up what they had spoken about the night before. But the tension was apparent between them.
What Peyton had said had really hit Haley hard. She knew that everything the other girl had said was true and that alone was one of the main reasons that it did bother her so much. The other being that Haley hadn't heard anyone express their feelings about this aloud to her. Nathan hadn't or wouldn't ever talk about what was going on with them. At least not to her. So hearing it from someone else just confirmed her thoughts and made it so much more real.
Sometimes when she was with Nathan it would feel as if they were playing pretend. Like it was merely a game. And deep inside her own mind she'd play along and make pretend that it was real. Just for those short hours, or even moments, she'd pretend that everything was right between them and that things were the way they had always been.
But when the game was over the reality would sink back in and slice through her, hurting more than before.
Haley pushed those thoughts from her mind. She was sick of feeling like this. She was sick of hurting, sick of the reality.
Moving over towards the television, Haley picked up the tape that lay before it and stared down at it. Her finger traced over the worn piece of tape, reading the words silently. 'Home video'.
Then she simply turned on the tv and stuck in the tape, pressing play and escaping from her reality.
